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Original poster

partner said he'd rather go on holiday than get married

137 replies

Deenamumof1 · 15/03/2014 13:49

Hi im new to this, so bare with me.
recently me and my partner have been talking about getting married in 2018, we set a date without paying a deposit. But recently his parents have mentioned goingmon holiday to orlando for 3 weeks, im from the uk and flights to Orlando at the moment are are £3000 for me my partner and my son. I told my parner we need to decide wether we save for the wedding or America, he said he'd rather America, im a little upset as I really want to marry him hes an amazing father and I really love him, I just wish he wanted to marry me as much as I want to marry him. Im deverstated we have to say goodbye to the wedding :( just want someone to talk to

OP posts:
ShirleyFuckingKnot · 15/03/2014 18:17

I totally understand why you're upset OP, honestly I do. I think the thing is that you should be taking this moment to speak to him and make sure you're on the same page as each other, because it sounds to me as though you have this big dream of your wedding, and he's clearly not as fussed by it as you.

Speak to him.

Bunbaker · 15/03/2014 18:18

Deenamumof1 Lots of people have asked whether your partner just doesn't want to get married at all or whether he doesn't want an expensive wedding. Which is it?
Presumably, as he still wants to go on holiday with you, he still wants to be with you.

90sthrowback · 15/03/2014 18:56

The only person that I can see saying that your DP doesn't want to get married is you.

What we are saying is that he doesn't want the wedding that you want prioritised over a holiday.

Getting married is not the same as having a wedding, you can do the former without the need for the latter.

Bunbaker · 15/03/2014 20:21

Exactly what 90sthrowback said

Original poster
Deenamumof1 · 15/03/2014 20:41

Gutted bitches mother in law has just said she's paying for our flights our villa and hired car all we need is to pay for park tickets and spending money, and then on 2018 she said she will pay for the flowers the car and the bridesmaid things, an HUBBY to be just said he can't wait, so all is well in my "Hollywood life"

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2014 20:45

OP - it is pretty sad that rather than just being happy and grateful, you are more concerned with having 'got one over' on a bunch of people you've never met.

Enjoy your wedding and your holiday :)

CalamitouslyWrong · 15/03/2014 20:46

Honestly, OP. I suspect you'd enjoy netmums more than mumsnet. They'll even let you have a ticker counting down to your 'big day'.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2014 20:48

I reckon even Netmums would get bored of hearing about that one Grin

twofingerstoGideon · 15/03/2014 20:51

tick, tick, tick...

Bornin1984 · 15/03/2014 20:53

Does anybody else the op is
Blagging
What her mil has now
Declared
To pay ??

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2014 20:54

Actually I don't believe a word of the whole thing, hence the piss-taking.

GarthsUncle · 15/03/2014 20:59

Anyone else hearing, "Get a grip. Bitch." in the voice of Spike from Buffy?

FabBakerGirl · 15/03/2014 21:02

Oh dear

Wincingalongslowly · 15/03/2014 21:02

Amazing how any doubts about her finance's commitment evaporated when MIL opened her chequebook....

fideline · 15/03/2014 21:10

What a very timely intervention from the 'MIL'

Her dreams WERE bigger than us nasty women.

This is so moving. Better than Dirty Dancing, even.

I love a happy ending

EirikurNoromaour · 15/03/2014 21:11

Hahaha
This thread is gold

RustyParker · 15/03/2014 21:27

How convenient Hmm

It's taken 4 years for his mother to offer all this financial help with the wedding?? Riiiiiight!

Come back in 2018 love and tell us all how it panned out.

Oh, and lay off with all the "bitches" stuff, it makes you look insecure.

Wincingalongslowly · 15/03/2014 21:30

Bet her dress will be bigger than all of us...

MixedUpConfusion · 15/03/2014 21:33

OP, you sound VERY immature young, maybe it's wise to wait a bit longer. Like 2035... you'll have saved up loads by then

Original poster
Deenamumof1 · 15/03/2014 21:33

Bite,bite,bite, bite, nothing like a bit of jealousy love it

OP posts:
fideline · 15/03/2014 21:36

To be fair, she does sound sweet and princessy.

BertieBotts · 15/03/2014 21:40

I do find this attitude on mumsnet rather bizarre that it's somehow vulgar to want a "big" or traditional wedding, it's all "Oh you can go down the registry office and then to the pub" - well yes of course but what if you actually do happen to want a day which is a bit flamboyant and extravagant? Everyone seems to labour under the impression that all brides to be are under some kind of spell of the "wedding industry" which isn't true, you are allowed to want a big wedding Grin

Although do agree this thread is a bit fighty.

fideline · 15/03/2014 21:42

I don't think any of the posters were saying that Bertie

They were mostly saying "if you want two expensive things, but can only afford one, then you can only have one"

Original poster
Deenamumof1 · 15/03/2014 21:44

Exactly!
It's flighty because they can't stand to see someone else happy will be my first and last time I'm on here
Salong guys

OP posts:
MixedUpConfusion · 15/03/2014 21:46

BertieBotts I'm not sure people are saying it's vulgar, but the OP and her DP clearly can't afford it so it's a bit unrealistic...