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Original poster

Household income

168 replies

GuernseyTeddy · 16/12/2013 11:14

Just spent the morning cancelling mobile contract, car insurance, contact lenses and any other monthly expenses, ahead of my maternity allowance ending in Feb.

As of 16 feb I will have 0 money at all. All because DP is a higher rate tax payer. No child benefit, no tax credit. Nothing. Similarly because of DPs wage, I can't afford to go back to work as it would cost me money after childcare deductions due to not being eligible for tax credits.

Insane position where I'm being assessed on money that isn't mine.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 20/12/2013 21:15

Good luck lovely. It will all be ok.

Elfina · 20/12/2013 21:24

Oh love. What area of SE are you? I'm wondering if I can help sign post you to some help. You need to get out of there ASAP.

Original poster
GuernseyTeddy · 20/12/2013 21:31

I'm in a herts town that sounds a lot like bitching.

OP posts:
Elfina · 20/12/2013 21:40

I don't know Herts at all Hmm can you get a train to your parents first thing?

Original poster
GuernseyTeddy · 20/12/2013 21:45

Not really. I have a carrier for DS but I would need to get a train to KX, get across the underground to Paddington and then a two hour train journey from there. Ideally need to wait for my dad to take bottles, clothes, travel cot, car seat, pushchair etc for DS.

OP posts:
sleeplessinderbyshire · 20/12/2013 21:50

Guernseyteddy, really just go on the train. your dad can get the stuff later (or whilst you're on the train heading the other way) If you can't get it, leave it. I know it cost a fortune but it is just stuff. Leave it, really just go

Elfina · 20/12/2013 21:53

It might not be as bad as you think. How old is DS? It might be a good idea to get to your folks, then come back with your dad on Monday for the rest of your stuff. You just need a carrier and a rucksack. You'll feel a bit stronger with your dad with you.

I wish I was a bit closer. Do you have any friends at all nearer by?

Original poster
GuernseyTeddy · 21/12/2013 09:27

Just packing some stuff. He knows leaving but not that I'm planning to go on Monday. Got the 'why are you packing now? queries though.

Hiding, once again, in DS's room while he naps.

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Original poster
GuernseyTeddy · 21/12/2013 09:33

DS is four months old. Reason I'm a bit 'meh' about the train, is that last time I tried to leave I got no further than Finsbury park due to stairs and pram (pre carrier), and then managed to fall getting off the train on the way back tipping DS forward in his pram. Thankfully he was strapped in, but it could easily have gone badly wrong. Hence why I'm worried about trying the train again.

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tribpot · 21/12/2013 09:58

You've left before, GuernseyTeddy? That's news I think.

Someone will always help you with the pram, even in London. But can your dad not come and pick you up today? What does your DH know about you leaving on Monday? Does he think it's just you going to your parents for Christmas whilst he takes your ds to his parents'?

hotair · 21/12/2013 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OOAOML · 21/12/2013 10:32

Seriously - call your Dad and get out now. I remember my Dad once saying to me that if I was really in trouble, all I had to do was call and he would get to me, it didn't matter what time it was or where I was. That's what good parents do - your Dad has told you he can do it today, take him up on it. Go.

LIZS · 21/12/2013 10:35

Agree now he knows you're going , better to do so quickly before he puts obstacles in your way and potentially turns nasty, even perhaps taking ds while you are off guard to his parents. If ds is only 4 months , how come you lose Maternity Pay in Feb btw ?

nkf · 21/12/2013 10:39

Does he not pay childcare?

nkf · 21/12/2013 10:40

Sorry. Didn't read enough of the thread. Hope all goes well.

Sarahplane · 21/12/2013 10:55

If I were you I would call your dad and ask him to get you today.

Elfina · 21/12/2013 12:13

Poor love. I was shit scared of the train and tube in London when mine was that little. The way I got round it was asking someone specific for help - young men in gym gear, or those that look like mums are the best bet!

You don't need pushchair, you need to get out. Carrier and essential documents. Anything else cab be bought borrowed or begged once at your folks.

Please tell me you've gone and this is redundant. Hmm

Original poster
GuernseyTeddy · 21/12/2013 13:18

Still here. He read my phone texts, so now knows I was planning on leaving Mon. Dad collecting me tomorrow now, but he's saying he won't allow it and will call the police?? Wtf?

So will see how that works out...Hmm

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OpheliasWeepingWillow · 21/12/2013 13:28

He won't allow it? OK YOU call the police. Get out for a walk and use your mobile or find a phone box. Get to a neighbours house or wait until he is asleep and get out of there.

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 21/12/2013 13:29

And don't leave him alone with your child.

Worried about you.

LIZS · 21/12/2013 13:31

Is there a local Travelodge or even call Women's Aid to get out until your dad comes. Police won't stop you leaving and he'll look a prat.

tribpot · 21/12/2013 13:34

Why was it possible for him to read your texts? You need to be much more wary than this.

Can your dad fetch you today? You're now in a state of war.

It's unlikely he could persuade the police that you were abducting your own child but the same is also true in reverse. I would phone Women's Aid today to talk about ways you can prevent him from leaving with your son.

Please take care of yourself. This is the riskiest time.

Original poster
GuernseyTeddy · 21/12/2013 13:40

I'm not letting my son out of my sight today, and I'll be sleeping on the floor in his room again tonight.

Am pretty scared but it's only one more night and then my dad will be here. Don't think he'll try and force him off me - work in finance so can't have any criminal record etc, and secondly he's going through family court proceedings for his daughter and an assault conviction would be flagged up by safeguarding.

OP posts:
clam · 21/12/2013 13:49

Got to this thread too late. Was just about to say for God's sake hide your phone!
Hope you're safe.

clam · 21/12/2013 13:50

Do you have any friends you could go to for today and overnight?