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Original poster

How much does his ex really get?

504 replies

WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:11

How much money does a single parent get in benefits? I ask because my partner is paying his ex over the odds in maintenance because he thinks she is getting next to nothing. However, a friend of mine says his ex gets more money than him due to the amount of benefit she receives.

Can anyone tell me how much (roughly) per month it's possible to get as a single SAHM with one child? Bearing in mind that she is living in their old house with a mortgage on it?

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 11:13

it's none of your business because what she gets doesn't effect what your partner should pay. if he wants to give more thats up to him.

ilovepowerhoop · 09/01/2013 11:13

how long is a piece of string?!

AKissIsNotAContract · 09/01/2013 11:15

Would you like to tell us what you earn first?

The maintenance is for his DCs not his ex wife.

Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:16

Thanks Booyhoo. Sadly it is my business because we live together and share finances, plus we want to have a child together in the near future.

Just after an idea of what she might be entitled to. For instance, can you get housing benefit to pay the mortgage? If she got a part-time job when SD starts full-time school in September, how will that affect things? etc.

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 11:19

it's still none of your business what she gets in benefits because as i said, what she gets DOES NOT AFFECT WHAT HE HAS TO PAY!

stop trying to pry into her financial affairs! she is entitled to financial privacy.

Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:19

AKiss - not sure why it's relevant what I earn but thanks for your advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:20

Booyhoo - sorry if I've hit a nerve, I only ask because he could pay a lot less and might have to, we don't want her to struggle but we will need to find a better balance, eventually.

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 11:21

he would have to pay 15% of his income whether she gets every benefit going or is millionaire. her income does not affect what he has to pay for the upkeep of his child!

groundhogday17 · 09/01/2013 11:21

I'm not sure what financial privacy you get when your income comes from the state. Most information is publicly available in terms of state benefits I would have thought

Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:22

Yes, I'm aware of that, he pays more than the minimum and I don't think she's being honest about her situation.

OP posts:
groundhogday17 · 09/01/2013 11:22

"her income does not affect what he has to pay for the upkeep of his child"

My reading of the OP was that he was paying in excess of what he "has to pay", so not sure your comment is relevant

Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 11:22

dont try and pull that shite with me. you aren't concerned about her struggling! you want her to go back to work thinking it'll cost you your OH less in maintenance. well it wont. he'll still be liable for 15% of his income.

Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:23

groundhog - it's hard to actually work out what she would get, I've never been in her situation so I thought it would be quick and easy to ask on here.

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 11:24

groundhog, if you re read my post you will see that i said "does not affect what he HAS (as in compulsory minimum) to pay" i didn't say what he is paying.

Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:25

Booyhoo - I am concerned about her struggling, I care about my SD. He pays her a lot more than 15% currently.

OP posts:
Portofino · 09/01/2013 11:26

What does your DP have to say about this?

Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 11:26

and groundhog, OP has no idea of the mother's benefit status. unless she has access to her account she has no clue what is being received. she can only guess based on figures provided by Govt but those are guidelines.

LineRunner · 09/01/2013 11:26

I am a lone parent and I have never had a penny of help towards the mortgage even when on very low pay.

Rikalaily · 09/01/2013 11:27

Believe me when I say that single mothers on benefits do not get much at all, I was on benefits for a while after my ex left and had three children, my rent and council tax were fully paid but I still only had about £30 a month left over after I'd paid for everything else (I had just £90 to cover everything for Christmas that year and it was just awful), my ex contributed nothing for the first two years.

But as previous posters have said, it's neither here nor there what she gets, your partner is paying for his child and if he's willing to contribute more than the CSA level then good on him for doing what is right by his child. This is just something that you will have to live with as you chose to be with a man who already had a child.

Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:27

I was hoping for something along the lines of "I'm a single SAHM and I get £XXX per month in my hand + £XXX housing benefit + £XXX CT benefit, etc."

OP posts:
groundhogday17 · 09/01/2013 11:28

I did read your post Booyhoo. And the OP wasn't questioning him continuing to pay what he "has to pay", moreover the fact that he is paying above this.

Wasp - yes I can imagine it's difficult to work out. I was questionning people suggesting she should have financial privacy when her income is from the state and benefit amounts are freely publicised

BigPigLittlePig · 09/01/2013 11:29

Sympathies - my dh was paying well above the necessary amount to his ex-p because she "couldnt pay the bills" Could afford to go out and get pissed 3 times a week though

Luckily for us this has now been addressed - he pays what the CSA suggest he should (there's an online calculator), and for bigger expenses eg, new school uniform, school trips etc we split the costs. We would never see his dd go without, but equally, his ex-p needs to take some responsibility for her own finances and cut costs accordingly like the rest of us do

Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 11:30

"I was hoping for something along the lines of "I'm a single SAHM and I get £XXX per month in my hand + £XXX housing benefit + £XXX CT benefit, etc." "

yes i know exactly what you were hoping for! again. none of your business.

groundhogday17 · 09/01/2013 11:32

Goodness day in day out I see threads where an OP is asking about stuff that could well come under the "none of your business" banner. Funnilly eniough on other topics no-one really actually says that though.

Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 11:32

my comment is still relevant groundhog because the woman's income does NOT affect the 15% minimum that he has to pay!