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Original poster

How much does his ex really get?

504 replies

WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:11

How much money does a single parent get in benefits? I ask because my partner is paying his ex over the odds in maintenance because he thinks she is getting next to nothing. However, a friend of mine says his ex gets more money than him due to the amount of benefit she receives.

Can anyone tell me how much (roughly) per month it's possible to get as a single SAHM with one child? Bearing in mind that she is living in their old house with a mortgage on it?

OP posts:
AnAirOfHope · 11/01/2013 09:34

Beertrickspotter thats a very good post and i agree with what you have said.

AnAirOfHope · 11/01/2013 09:42

I think i feel unconfortable with adults drinking round children the same way i feel unconfortable with adults smoking round children because there is a possibility to end badly for the child.

I understand its my issue and most people are fine with it.

BeerTricksPotter · 11/01/2013 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnAirOfHope · 11/01/2013 10:26

I got my MIL a bottle of wine for babysitting for us and the took it home to drink Grin

Im not agenst drinking as long as there is a des and the person looking after the kids is sober or if the kids are staying somewhere else. I think its more about drinking responable.

I think it could be upsetting for young children to see an adult drunk.

AnAirOfHope · 11/01/2013 10:29

*I give the bottle of wine when we got back not before we left her in charge!

DioneTheDiabolist · 11/01/2013 10:59

Airofhope, drinking drinking does not mean being drunk. And smoking around children is not the same as drinking around children. If I smoke a fag those around me are exposed to second hand smoke. If I drink a glass or three of wine, there is no second hand alcohol entering the bodies of those I am with.

I don't need to drink to relax. Just as don't need to do yoga or soduku to relax. But I do all these things as I enjoy them and they do not impair my ability to look after DS.

AnAirOfHope · 11/01/2013 11:05

I disagree.

Live and let live Brew

marcopront · 11/01/2013 12:09

AnAirOfHope

I hope when you are ill, you arrange for someone else to take care of your children because your judgement might be impaired.

As a single parent by your rules I can never drink alcohol as I am always in charge of my child. Thanks

AnAirOfHope · 11/01/2013 12:31

Marcopront you dont have to live by my rules.

Its not a bad thing to not drink alcohol.

If/when im a SP i would get a babysitter and have a drink. Yes it cost more but you have the choice to have a drink or not. Thats what i would chose. It is not essencal to drink alcohol its a choice.

If you are ill you cant help it but you chose to consume alcohol.

AKissIsNotAContract · 11/01/2013 17:35

I don't think I've ever seen a thread go so off topic before.

Wallison · 11/01/2013 18:52

I think it's because pretty much everyone is united against the OP, AKiss.

AnAir - you would hire a babysitter to come and sit in your living-room with you while you drink wine? Ooooookay.

Reaa · 11/01/2013 22:19

I don't actually drink, DH does which is one of the reasons I don't as I like knowing if at any point I need to go Drs or A and E I can drive, but that's just me, my friend drinks and has always said she can always get a cab if needed........

Reaa · 11/01/2013 22:19

I don't actually drink, DH does which is one of the reasons I don't as I like knowing if at any point I need to go Drs or A and E I can drive, but that's just me, my friend drinks and has always said she can always get a cab if needed........

LineRunner · 12/01/2013 16:10

To be honest, in some circumstances (e.g. living in city or town) the quickest way of getting to most A&Es and Walk-Ins is a cab, because the carparking can be quite a long way away, in a dark place, and expensive. A cab is allowed to drop you (and poorly child of course) off at the main doors.

When I took my DD to the Walk-In last year the cab driver couldn't have been more helpful.

AnAirOfHope · 12/01/2013 17:19

Do you need a car seat in a cab? I have never got a taxi with my children because i didnt want to carry the car seat with me round town or supermarket. I dont drive and always walk or go on the bus with children in pushchair.

Wallison · 12/01/2013 21:16

No, you don't need a car seat in a cab. Some firms have them and will put one in if you ask for it, but it's not illegal not to use one or anything.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass · 13/01/2013 09:21

All this talk further up thread about if ex's new partner was a millionaire maintenance should remain the same. What about the following...

If the OP was a millionaire should maintenance go up?? I'm so looking forward to hearing of a situation like that, just so I can hear the double standards come flowing through :)

All hypothetical of course, but oh my, how different it would be.

AnAirOfHope · 13/01/2013 09:49

No because the OP is not the parent of the child. Only the parents are responsable for their child financialy.

AmberLeaf · 13/01/2013 10:08

The OP isn't the parent, her boyfriend is, so why would it be different?

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass · 13/01/2013 10:14

So say I won the lottery now (all in my name) I'm not obliged to pay anything to my partner's ex? I find that hard to believe.

InNeatCognac · 13/01/2013 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnAirOfHope · 13/01/2013 10:42

No because the ex has nothing to do with your finances.

It works both ways if the exwife won the lotto she would not have to give any money to her xh or new gf but the xh would still have to pay child mainance because he is finacialy responsable for his child.

Snorbs · 13/01/2013 10:48

Not under current CSA rules, no. I've got a vague recollection that CSAv1 rules did take at least some account of step-parent income among many other things. But it was so horribly complicated that it was damn-near unworkable.

That led to the simplification of CSAv2. Of course, the CSA can't even run that properly hence the upcoming CSAv3 where parents will be strongly encouraged to sort it out between themselves.

holidaysarenice · 14/01/2013 06:44

Bloody hell you took a lot of stick on here. It may already have been said but try the online benefits calculator, with very little info you can work it out more or less. Remember maintenance doesn't count as income for benefit purposes.

oliandjoesmum · 15/01/2013 09:29

I'm sorry if people disagree but I think it should. I don't get any benefits, including child benefit from this month, but if I was getting the same amount as my husband earns im maintenance I would get CTC and CB. Why would that be fair? I actually have a friend who gets £4200 a month in maintenance but then still gets CTC of nearly £1000 a month and over £200 in child benefit on top of that. Not an urban myth, absolutely true. Why is that fair, when my husband earns less than that but we get nothing from the state even though we also have 4 children. She isn't doing anything wrong, she is claiming what she is entitled to legally, but I can't be persuaded that not taking maintenance in to consideration in benefits calculations is fair,those who got nothing/ very little/ irregular maintenance would still get the benefits, but those that got perfectly reasonable amounts would get less benfits. It happens that way if you are a single mother working for her living, why should it be different with maintenance?