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Original poster

This is such a nosy question but if you are a sahp, how much does your partner earn to make it viable?

352 replies

WideWebWitch · 08/09/2005 20:53

I fully expect people to change names for this but I have long wondered: if you're a sahm/d, how much does your partner earn? In other words, how high does one salary have to be in order for 2 people and child/ren to survive? And what does your partner do to earn this? I'm not asking out of anything other than total nosiness so do tell me to bog off if you like! Name changers extremely welcome!

OP posts:
nothername · 09/09/2005 23:08

Sorry Skate - was referring to:
"Ok, yes, you need more education to do the City job, but that (generally) means you were lucky enough to be born into a family that gave you the support and so on to get that education. "
Just pointing out that some people do well without any help from their family. Not trying to stir. Maybe I'm a bit touchy tonight

mumfor1sttime · 09/09/2005 23:15

A work friend of mine got upset recently when I called her working class - she said loudly 'No Im not, Ive been to University!'(even though she is doing same job as me, on a lower wage and I have not been to Uni...bless...!)
This thread is reminding me of that little disagreement!

hatstand · 10/09/2005 00:09

qoq and mascara ohara - I am not at all suprised. I have enountered a helluva lot more inverse snobbery (in rl, not here) than snobbery. I -genuinely - don;t know anyone rich who would look down on someone on account of their income. But I have encountered people who are judgemental about high earners. honest

snafsicle · 10/09/2005 08:07

I'm just thankful that there are high earners around to support me and my lazy family in the - clearly incorrect - choices we have made.

FFS.

mumtosomeone · 10/09/2005 08:29

why do people think that the stay at home option is for rich people or lazy people or its just the wrong option?
Its the most important job any of us can do!!

NotQuiteCockney · 10/09/2005 08:41

I'm one of two kids. My sister didn't really finish secondary school. I went to university, got two degrees, worked in the City for years, etc etc. My sister made bagels.

Part of the difference between us is down to some very unwise choices she made in her teens. Everyone makes stupid choices in their teens, I was just lucky in that mine didn't cost my any career options.

And part of the difference between us is down to how we were treated as kids. Again, not something I have control over.

I'm not suggesting that wealthier people need to be apologising for their wealth, and of course I understand how expenses grow as earnings grow (although that hasn't entirely been the case for us). I just don't buy the "we worked hard, we made the right choices" things.

ggglimpopo · 10/09/2005 08:44

Message withdrawn

Kaz33 · 10/09/2005 08:51

Well, there are so many variables at play here as to how well off you are in real times:

  1. How old you are? If you are in your twenties you are likely to be earning less.
  2. Where you live? £60k in London is probably the same as £40k or even £20k in some areas - house prices, the cost of childcare, the cost of everything really?
  3. Education - where did you get off the ladder? If you don't have qualifications even O levels then why not? You have to take some responsiblity for your education and can't blame it all on the support/choices you made.
  4. How much you want to earn, you know when you started working in the law, the city, publishing, nursing, farming etc.. what the top amount you would be likely to earn.
mumtosomeone · 10/09/2005 08:55

No I am not trying to kick off!
Why do people always think that of me?!! Do I give out the wrong vibes?!!
I always seem to get 'picked on' for my opinion!!!
I delete alot of how I feel in fear of it kicking off!!!

fsmail · 10/09/2005 08:58

I think a lot depends on the individual and the school. My parents did not want us to go to university because they thought it would be full of snobs but all three of us went, with no financial support from parents although we were very lucky to get full grants in those days. I think it is much worse for poorer kids now. I would think twice if I had not got a full grant. Having said that having a degree has not really made a difference to my career as I started as a receptionist and worked my way up. I think it is a lot to do with how ambitious you want to buy. All my friends that have done well are simply more ambitious.

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 10/09/2005 09:30

mumtosomeone, if you post your opinions as if they're fact (as in, to quote you "stay at home option...Its the most important job any of us can do!!") it's bound not to go down well here tbh.

To answer to whoever asked did the person who started this thread (which was me) want to be a SAHP, is No, I absolutely DO Not! I have been a sahm and a wohm and I prefer working for all sorts of reasons. I didn't start this thread out of anything other than pure nosiness and because I wouldn't dream of asking someone this question IRL but I can ask here.

I understand how people live up or down according to their incomes, it's all relative, to use a cliche.

OP posts:
mumtosomeone · 10/09/2005 09:33

is it not the most important job then?

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 10/09/2005 09:35

Start another thread if you want a row, sorry, discussion, about that mumtosomeone.

OP posts:
mumtosomeone · 10/09/2005 09:38

Dont want a row!
Just asking if being a mum is not an important job!
Why can I not ask simple questions without someone getting at me!!
Somehow I think some people are a little too defensive, which speaks volumes!!! IMO

mumtosomeone · 10/09/2005 09:39

I never said that staying at home was the most important job..did I!
If you quote me please quote me!!!

anchovies · 10/09/2005 09:41

"why do people think that the stay at home option is for rich people or lazy people or its just the wrong option?
Its the most important job any of us can do!!"

What does this mean then?

munz · 10/09/2005 09:42

hijac - anchovies, glad u're OK - we've missed u on march boards. (((hugs)))

sorry hijac over.

anchovies · 10/09/2005 09:43

(Thanks munz!! Am just worried that I will depress you cheery lot as am still worrying!)

munz · 10/09/2005 09:50

ooh don't be soft - get ur boney bum over and check in! we've been worried bout u!

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 10/09/2005 09:53

Thanks for that anchovies, exactly what I'd have posted to mumtosomeone (that quote) if I'd have been here, had to go then for a bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
WideWebWitch · 10/09/2005 09:54

But like I said mumtosomeone, you want to debate that, start another thread.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 10/09/2005 09:57

Only read some of this thread but, even though I am gobsmacked at some of the salaries on here and thinking "wow, what couldn't we do with that money?", it's all relative, really. We would find things very tight financially if we lived in London - but we have a 4 bedroom house in Cheshire for a mortgage of £440 a month.

Dh earns a reasonable amount of money but he works incredibly long and antisocial hours for it (70 hour weeks, all night on call on a regular basis. It's slowly killing him and eating away at our family life but we couldn't manage on his basic salary without on-call work). I do some work from home and that helps out too - but not enough for him to just work regular 'office' hours.

We're not hard up - we have enough. Very little by way of savings (a rainy day fund if the washing machine died but not if the tumble dryer died too ) We also save for the kids - they are far richer than we are because we have saved their Family Allowance since they were born (and they have have had lump sums from rellies etc). But we have nice food, lots of wine, days out, inexpensive holidays - and we just bought a tent and are hoping for more inexpensive holidays camping.

I'm not telling you what our joint income is (!) but some people on this thread would think it was a fortune, some people would think it was a pittance. Like I said, it's all relative, innit?

mumtosomeone · 10/09/2005 09:58

ok I said it!
I hold my hands up!
I think it is the most important job any of us can do!

marthamoo · 10/09/2005 09:58

The pay's crap though, mts

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 10/09/2005 10:00

Fine mumtosomeone, but don't put something in writing, deny it ten minutes (or whatever it was) later, deny it even when faced with a partial quote and THEN agree you said it a bit later when confronted with the whole quote! Like I said, it's another discussion I think.

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