This is such a nosy question but if you are a sahp, how much does your partner earn to make it viable?

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I fully expect people to change names for this but I have long wondered: if you're a sahm/d, how much does your partner earn? In other words, how high does one salary have to be in order for 2 people and child/ren to survive? And what does your partner do to earn this? I'm not asking out of anything other than total nosiness so do tell me to bog off if you like! Name changers extremely welcome!

can see this will get heated and i need to go to bed!!

NQC I think people on this thread are trying to be honest about their wages, but realise that they are better off than lots of others. Therefore are explaining why they end up spending the 200K they earn.

I don't think they are saying they work harder then others, just that they are trying to explain why they are paid so much.

alot have said its hard work that has got them there!

Also if I earn't a lot more money, my expenses would go up hugely. I would choose private education, I would have a bigger mortgage, and have better holidays. I am not apologetic or trying to make anyone feel bad, but I can see both sides of this. I don't think the 'rich' were boasting about their lot anymore than the 'poor' were boasting about their lack of money and how well they manage on that.

professorinthemaking - dh is 47 now and has been a prof. for about 12 years (he made prof. pretty young). He got it by basically working extremely hard (his first marriage failed because of this - basically his ex never saw him). He says it is important to write lots of papers, never say no to anything, and it helps if you have a good supporter (who is well-known in the field and looked up to).

well thus is bloody vulgar isnt ti

the person that started this thread..do you wish you were a sahm?
I often wonder if going to work causes alot of expense so you have to work to keep up with the costs..iyswim.

mumtosomeone - I think in many cases it will have been!

Many will have worked long long hours - overnighters, no flexibility whatsoever.

Some law firms in the City have beds in the offices because the lawyers will often not have time to go home to bed - sometimes for days on end!

I worked very hard - 14-16 hour days at work then studying for exams when I got home! No such thing as overtime! No such thing as weekends!

However, I don't think anyone is saying that those on lower wages don't work hard!

Yes, there are incredible variations in salaries, but that is life, it isn't fair!

As Issymum once posted, Bechkam and the like get paid a small fortune to do the not very useful trick of kicking a ball into a net, while a nurse gets paid a near pittance for doing the most highly important job of keeping people alive- where is the sense in that!

I agree, i couldn't afford to work fulltime. I'm very lucky that i landed a job which is flexible and based at home, so i don't have childcare costs.

Thanks nothername - useful insight .

Last question nothername (promise ) - is his field natural sciences, social sciences or humanities?

NQC 9.41pm - fabulous post!

flippin' eck - had to change my name again - natural sciences!

Hi Lockets! Tis me!! How are your wee girlies? My wee boys are fast akip (well, just dosed ds3 up on Nurofen - poorly boy).

nothername - it gets tricky with the names! Dh impressed at your dh's achievement in a very competitive field!

Hmm Skate - referring back to NQC's post, could I just point out that dh is one of four, and the only one to go to university. His family are NOT well off - none of his siblings own their own home (they are all over 35) and his parents live very modestly. He paid his own way through university and everything he has is down to hard work.

Lockets - too young for teeth? I think it's teeth with ds3 and he's all snotty and struggling to breathe so we've raised his cot up at one end. Nurofen is a life saver

Er, yeah? So? I'm just agreeing with NQC when she says that earners are also high spenders but that is by choice. It would not be impossible to survive (or even live comfortably!) on a lot less than some of the posters do who are saying they could not afford to be a sahp.

Get the Nurofen out

My DH earns 15k a year, we cant afford to buy so we rent £240 month and council tax £100 month.
I work 16 hours a week and earn £5k.
This is without benefits, I couldnt see how I could afford to give up work, also I enjoy having my own bank account.
DH pays most of bills, and I buy the 'baby things' and 'household' things. We havent had a holiday for 3 years (our honeymoon!)But we do run 2 cars.
I look back at when I worked full time and think- where did the money go!
Looked into going back full time - but childcare costs would take too much of my wage, wasnt worth the effort.