Today's the FIRST and we still have each other :)

[MummyMcKT]

A thread for all of us who were due in 2010 and who've bonded through the last few weeks.

It doesn't matter where your head/heart's at on this journey at the moment just as long as you want some company....

It is so hard reading that stuff isn't it, Loopy? After I read the happy scan news on the October thread, I felt like I was torturing myself. Must have been especially hard for you today, after you had been to the churchyard.
Pleased to hear you have made the decision to TTC again soon though, as you were undecided a while back, weren't you?

We are not TTC just yet. We are not in the right place, as we are both trying to sell our houses to move in to one together. We decided that we need to be settled in a place together before trying for another baby. The last pregnancy was unplanned & the whole house move thing (which we were planning to do this year anyway) was a bit of a worry, as we wanted to get something sorted before the baby arrived.
Now we don't have that panic (although, as I said to DP the other week, I would give anything to still have that baby growing inside me), so we are going to get the house situation sorted, and then hopefully think about TTC again once we are settled.
I do worry that it won't happen though, I worry DP won't want it or that I would have left it too late & it won't happen. You know how you get all these negative thoughts after MC.

Hi All

yrotb sorry your feeling lonely atm, hope you do manage to get some studying done but try not to push to hard hun, tc

loopy glad you got to church yard today, a little bit quiet time seems to help a teeny weeny bit i think, where abouts are you? mabey somone on here could suggest a good camp site? tc

McKTastic glad you survived the first day back, im abs dreading it what with all the questions from staff and clients etc, well done you for not falling to pices, also think sleepy sickness is going around today, iv yawned my head off all day lol, tc

fordy sorry to hear your feeling unwell today, i know what you mean when you say feeling sickly bring all the pg memories back, on the up side you do seem a bit more chipper today mentaly , stay strong hun, tc

pink glad your feeling a bit better, i bet having the first period over with is a huge relife in a strange way iykwim, hiding the october thread was a good idea i recon, it almost sent me mad reading the september thread when they were all leaving 20 week scan updates (that is also hidden now)dont get me wrong im glad their doing ok but i still cant get the 'why me' things out of my head. hope the house selling and move go to plan soon, tc

had dog to vet this morning as he was not eating and his tummy is tender, 3 lots of antibiotics and £74 later, we came home and he polished off all the food in his dish (bloody typical) spent the rest of the day doing retail therapy and got a lovely dress for a friends wedding next month, met a good friend i havent seen for a while for coffee and a good natter about 'normal' things for a change without any of the aquard moments i was expecting. those damn workmen upstairs were banging on from 7.45am again today, hope there finished soon, but on the up side im actualy getting up at a reasonable hour while their working and actualy managing to get some sleep on a night coz im up early so maybe a blessing in discuise? lol. so other than coughing and spluttering all over and feeling like i could sleep for a week i recon iv had a good day. gona ring work tomorrow and see what this meeting is for etc then tell them il go but if there is any pressure im leaving.

Hi to everyone i didnt mention, hope you are well x

evening all, i'm supposed to have gone to bed but can't resist butting in on the Apprentice chat!
mcKt i thought they chose the right winner... I have no doubt whatsoever that Zoe will be a very very successful woman within a few years - she's quite phenomenal for her age - but she was just sooooo annoying that i would have been yelling at the TV if she'd won.

Did I just waste an hour of tv? Was very disappointed at the J.A final (I officially have no life!)although I like the fact that Loopy has her tv viewing sorted for future happiness

It's such a difficult time re trying to decide about trying again. Noticed a few of our names here are over on the ttc after MC thread.

We really want to have a baby as soon as we're lucky however i'm still incapable of making decisions of any kind let alone BIG ones. Haven't DTD since losing the twins - think I want my first AF before TTC again to know all's in order and if I use contraception in the mean time then it'll have to become a conscious decision to stop using it to ttc IYSWIM.

I'm really hoping not to become obsessed about it either - have seen that destroying friends of mine - although now I've lost the chance to fulfill the dream of being a Mum this time round am pretty DESPERATE to do it again so prob already there

Am sounding repetative....

How's the holiday plans coming Loopy? We've still to make ours and it's only 3wks to the end of term here.

Good Luck in the house hunting PinkC Am kind of in a similar situation. We're currently living in my flat but DP has a house which is lying empty for now and desp needs renovated. Something we keep meaning to do... he was pretty stressed about the thought of pulling it all together before our DDate. Bit more time now but we need MOTIVATION!! (story of my life at the mo!)

Posts always appear when I'm distracted!!

sotough I found them ALL annoying on J.A tonight (am def tired)

Loopy your other post re ttc makes perfect sense.

Jakey Tell us about your dress! Glad you've been able to do some normal things today AND that you're looking on the bright side ie workmen starting UNREASONABLY early -7.45 is just mental! - BUT it's getting you back into a better sleeping pattern

Fordy sorry I missed you last time. Hope you're not coming down with something

The whole TTC thing is really hard after going through something like this, isn't it?
After my MC, part of me desperately yearned to be pregnant again, while the other part of me was petrified of going through the whole thing again & wondered if I could put myself through the possibility of this happening again. You don't just think of pregnancy resulting in a baby after you have expreienced MC, do you?
I think DP will look at it all very differently now too, and may be more cautious of the whole thing as a result. He admitted to not really realising how big a deal MC is until you have experienced it yourself.

McKTastic - we have two houses to sell - both DP's & mine. He has his on the market now, and once things get moving with his, I will put mine up for sale. Thought it best he got things going with his first, as I have the boys.
We have seen a house we love, but DP hasn't had any luck in selling his house yet, so we cannot put in an offer. It is all very frustrating this house buying & selling business!

is it just me or has RL gone mad over big brother AGAIN? i think its getting a bit out dated now, seems like its been going for years and its always the same, last time i watched it a few years ago you saw more of the chickens than the people lol, still at least its the last one!

loopy school summer break seems earlier and longer every year dosnt it, im sure i didnt get that much time off school lol

pink i totaly get what you mean by wanting to be preg again and being petrafied to even try incase it all goes wrong again, good luck when you do try

McKTastic i wouldnt mind if the work men were fit but there old and sweaty lol(tee hee think im getting my sence of humour back ) the dress is strapless, black with white pattern, fitted top, just above knee length with a scrunch skirt, sounds frumpy, its not but i dont know how to describe it lol, white lacey bolero and stillettos if i can remember how to walk in them, was gutted i had to get the next size up tho, it should have been for a baby bump instead its for post mc binges on chocolate and wine but iv only got my self to blame for that.

everyone else tc x

McKTastic I think the injection and implant both work the same way, I've tried both and they both worked but i hated every year of the implant (3yrs) I was constantly aware of it and i have 2 scars on my left arm where it went in and came out and the injection hurt!! Also my doc said that it has a really long needle so they only inject your bum and it can kill cells around the injection so you can end up with scars (and since they alternate cheeks, you can have 2! )

I didn't have the injection, although i'm not thinking about ttc straight away, i don't want to have to wait up to 2 years for my fertility (such as it is) to come back!

QueenOTCW Men have it easy eh!! I was on the pill years ago - have long since got rid of those chemicals in my body and used condoms ever since Have no intention of going back to either - at the moment am doing a good impression of a born again virgin!!! ha ha (hopefully won't last!!)

Loopy I don't think I'll be joining the ttc thread any time soon either - not because I've decided to def not try at the moment (am still the queen of indecision!)but at this point I really don't want to become obsessed with dates and temperatures etc They seem like a fab bunch though and I enjoy reading the thread.

I think it's lovely that you keep in touch with your DD2s antenatal thread - you must be one of the MN originals, no? - (I'm sure the news you read on your a.n thread last time would've been difficult )

Yes! you are a muppet for volunteering for playgroup stuff - but very noble of you AND I admire you for taking it on I know someone has to do it but my BF has spent the last year being secretary of hers and at times it's taken over her week!! Hope your course went well today

Oh! and I second everything you say about J.A!!

Jakey Your wedding outfit sounds fab I've never been able to walk in heels so when you figure it out all tips will be greatfully accepted! Ewweh! re old sweaty builders!!! Hope they don't work week-ends or at the very least start a bit later!!

PinkC have everything crossed for you that you'll end up with the house you've seen. "What's for ye will no go by ye" and all that (a phrase akin to "What's meant to be is meant to be" which totally pissed me off in relation to people offering it "supportively" when I MC but I think it may be appropriate for wishing you best wishes for a house...!??!)

Hello everyone else!! Hope you're all well.

I've now officially survived my first week back and am looking forward to the week-end.

Bring on the curry!!

Hello everyone

It certainly seems like everyone is a bit brighter recently which is great!

Jakey get those heels on and walk around at home! Don't know why I'm giving advice on that as I just cant wear them.

Loopy glad your holiday planning is making progress - don't forget to relax somewhere in amongst it all!

PinkC good luck with the house hunting. I love choosing a new house! My parents were always seperating when I was little so we never lived anywhere for longer than 2 yrs so I get antsy if I have been anywhere too long!

I have been deciding if I am ready to go back to work next week. I'm still in a bit of pain, especially if I am active for more than a couple of hours so for that reason alone I dont know if its a good idea. I just checked work emails and OFSTED are in on Tues and Weds too and I dont know how I would cope with the stress - I dont really want to fall to pieces at work. Is it pretty easy to get the dr to sign you off? I have never been off this long before. My post-op sick note runs out on Monday.

Hello everyone else - hope you are all good and looking forward to the world cup

Velvet I don't think there should be a problem with extending your line - why don't you call the Dr. who wrote your last one and ask for another week or phone your GP surgery and say what you said here? OFSTED aside - although I'd say that's a TOP reason for being off - You DEF don't need the stress right now. You sound like you need a wee bit more time to recoup/ease yourself back into physical activity.

I'm just back - was physically feeling ok for about a week before but the two days have left me totally knackered. Takes time.

I'd advocate looking after yourself and not going back until you've had a few days when you've starting to feel like you could.....

It might feel hard trying to arrange more time and you might have to take a deep breath before making those phonecalls to but once you do I think you'll feel a bit of relief. Thinking of you.

Quick post as I am run off my feet this week...

As I was reading Pinkchampagne's post about pregnancy not being the same after a miscarriage, I was reminded of moments after our dd2's birth when I looked into her big eyes and thought: "Someone should have told me that I was having a baby!"

I was so afraid that my pregnancy with her would end in miscarriage (as the previous two had) that I could not allow myself to even consider that I might deliver a full-term bundle.

Though I didn't believe it until after she was actually born, it was an immense relief and I am telling this story so that you all know that it CAN be done.

That being said, I never in my wildest dreams (nightmares) would have imagined a mmc that would end in an emergency C-Section following a suggested hysterectomy 3 1/2 years later.

The HR lady at school just called because my HOD (male) has asked her to ask me if I would please go in to work when OFSTED are there and just have the end of the week off!!

Luckily for me she had an MMC 9 years ago and so when that set me of in tears she apologised for even calling and said she would sort him out.

I'm pretty annoyed with myself for getting upset I thought I had made progress the past 2 days.

Hello all.

loopy, glad to hear you got a visit to the Churchyard, especially with the peace of only one Dc in tow. Where are you looking to camp, btw? I am a lake district and dales expert, but I bet you're not coming this far up north?

velvet I really didn't want to go back to work last week, adn the first day made me very sad. Everyone just said are you ok, me said yes, and they carry on as normal which made me a bit , but that's my own fault for saying I was fine. After day one though, it was fine

I have been lonely for night one in particular, but now i am getting used to the peace and quiet, which isn't good, cos they'll be back tomorrow. I tell you what though, its amazing how bloody clean this house stays when there's only me here..

McKTastic even though i have buckled and joined the ttc after miscarriage thread over in conception, at this rate, it will be the immaculate conception

jakey your dress sounds fab! Sorry to hear about the vet bill and the dog though.

cadmum so for you, that sounds like a horrific experience. Hugs.

And to everyone else I hope you're ok, and looking forward to the start of the World Cup??

X-post velvet Oh no! Poor you, are you ok?

Am about to turn the PC off but wanted to say hugs for you Velvet - You've done nothing wrong. Your HOD will just be panicking at the OFSTEAD onslaught. Would like to be a fly on the wall when HR lady sorts him out!! Hope you get your line sorted and can concentrate on looking after yourself. Don't give yourself a hard time when the blips come - totally natural and I'll bet we can all relate to them.

Good to hear from you YRMOTB I hope you didn't think I was saying it was a bad thing to join the ttc thread. They seem like a positive lot which is def a good thing It's good to get as many positive vibes as you can when you manage to disctract your OP from the footie!!!

World cup?! Is that on...... ha ha

and just when I thought today couldn't get worse.... I have started bleeding again

velvet ((big hugs)) wish I could be more help

yrmoftb I sooo know what you mean. I told everyone I was fine and when I get a little weepy and head to the ladies- everyone think's I'm mental. I should have just said "actually my world has ended, i want to throw this computer out of the window and if you make me call one more person asking for money i'll feed you down the phone line"

umm.. tmi sorry.

Sorry you are having such a bad day, velvet. So you are another who works in a school?
I work in a school too (teaching assistant) & because my MC was spotted 2 days before the Easter holidays, I then had 2 weeks off that didn't affect work, or no doubt my lot would have been pushing me to get back to work. The head & deputy barely spoke to me on my return, never mind asking how I was or anything.
Glad you will escape the added pressure of OFSTED.

McKTastic - thanks. I know what you mean by the "what is meant to be" line, although you are right in that it doesn't go down well when people say it after MC. (that & other lines, like "you will have another & it will be fine", or "the baby had something wrong & you wouldn't want a disabled child, would you?") Hopefully we will end up in the right house for us. It is just frustrating when you see one that seems perfect & you can't move ahead!

QueenOTCW - contraception is a nightmare isn't it? I was on the mini pill, but since the MC I have made him use condoms & am liking having my body back in tune, so won't be going back on it in a hurry!

YRMOTB - know what you mean about that first day back at work, but it really does get a lot easier after, doesn't it?

Hello to everyone else, hope you're all ok.

loopy that looks lovely! I am so very jealous, I've never been to Cornwall. Cornish cream teas, nom nom.

MckTastic no, I didn't think that, It all looks a bit full on, I know I will be the one at the back of the thread with no clue as to cycle length, day of ovulation or a clue when AF's due