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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Second miscarriage in four months and looking for hope after loss

55 replies

Esl17 · 16/09/2026 12:04

Just had my second miscarriage in under 4 months - MMC at 12 week scan after previously seeing heartbeat followed by blighted ovum found at early scan at EPU at 7 weeks (so another MMC). Now undergone both a surgery and tablets in such a short space of time. I just feel so sad and defeated, also wondering what could be wrong with me. I’m 35 now and panicking, one nearly 3 year old conceived with no issues, healthy pregnancy. Any one had anything similar and gone onto success?

OP posts:
JLMA · 16/09/2026 16:09

I lost 4 babies in about 5 years and am a similar age to you.

we had no living children, and we were doing IVF.
We did manage to get pregnant without IVF and an ectopic was suspected but we did ok and after perseverance we managed to have a baby this year.

we were close to deciding to give up. It’s just up to you and your partner what type of journey you want to go on.

ThisBreezySheep · 16/09/2026 17:01

Similar happened to me. It’s horrid. Easy complication free first pregnancy. Then I had three MMC in a row in just under a year. I felt absolutely hopeless at the time. I was referred to the local recurrent loss clinic after the second one, because of my age. I also asked my GP to refer to Tommys after the third one.

We decided to give it one more go, and the fourth one stuck. I now have 7 month old twins and a 3 year old. I had decided that if the fourth one didn’t work out we would stop trying.

It was an awful time, and I really struggled seeing others getting pregnant and having healthy babies. It felt so unfair.

You could ask your GP to do some bloods for thyroid function, and you could also ask your EPU to refer you to the recurrent loss clinic as you are 35.

The due date of the first miscarriage would have been February 2025. My twins were born almost a year later. I hope this gives you some hope

Esl17 · 16/09/2026 19:28

@ThisBreezySheep thanks for this - I can’t imagine having a 3rd. EPU have already said they won’t refer me until I’ve had 3 sadly despite my age. Did you do anything differently the 4th time or was it just literally a case of 4th time lucky? I feel this absolutely hopeless feeling. First time I was desperate to conceive again, this time I just can’t be bothered. Congratulations on the twins 💕

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ThelastRolo20 · 16/09/2026 19:55

@Esl17 I had my first, very uncomplicated, first pregnancy and baby at 32. We started trying when she was 18 months old and had two mmcs within 3 months, one at 12 weeks (following a heartbeat seen at 8 weeks), and one at 10 weeks following weeks of slow growth.

It was awful, I took a three month break and took CoQ10, folic acid etc, then had my second successful pregnancy the month she started again and she was born when I was 35 🙂

My heart goes out to you, but there can definitely be light at the end of the tunnel xx

Esl17 · 16/09/2026 20:02

@ThelastRolo20 thankyou so much the first part of your story sounds identical to mine, I was also 32 with my first, your first loss was identical to mine too. I am so torn between having a break or just plodding on, being 35 definitely puts the pressure on. I am also taking CoQ10 and other supplements. I hope my story ends like yours, thanks for sharing 💕

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Crwysmam · 16/09/2026 20:45

I had multiple miscarriages between 32 and 38. I had endometriosis so had a lot of treatment and fertility support but eventually decided to give up. Since we had no problem conceiving but my body just struggled to maintain a pregnancy I didn’t don’t want to go through IVF. Voluntarily putting my body through the intense hormone cycles was a risk because my ovaries were prone to overstimulation with the smallest doses of drugs.

So we planned a different future, booked a holiday of a lifetime ( my DH had always wanted to see England play a test series in the Caribbean) it took a bit of planning. Six weeks before we were due to fly out I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t hold out much hope and my GP organised a couple of scans before we flew out. The first at 6 weeks showed a pole with a heart beat. The second at 8 weeks showed an embryo, developing well with a strong heart beat. He will be 22 in a weeks time.

It wasn’t an easy pregnancy, lots of complications mostly due to my age, but we made it and haven’t looked back.

Im not suggesting that you book a holiday or that miracles always happen but miscarriage is very common. At least one in four positive pregnancy tests will fail to progress and the number is probably much higher for conceptions that don’t make it to implantation. Early pregnancy tests make it harder to deal with since in the past most early miscarriages ( under 5 wks) would not have been detectable and classed as late periods. Testing wasn’t possible until 6 weeks and it probably saved a lot of heart ache. So two miscarriages today, although devastating are probably more common than you think. Thirty years ago a lot of my late periods would probably have been positive early pregnancies. I’m sort of glad I didn’t know about them.

I was six weeks when I tested positive with my DS. I only tested because I realised I was a bit late my cycle was 27-33 days so when I realised it had been more than 35 days and my sense of smell was off the chart I sort of knew I was pregnant. With so many losses I spent most of the pregnancy expecting the worst and it wasn’t until I had a growth scan at 35 weeks and my DS actually looked like a proper baby rather than an alien that I started to bond with him.

You are obviously able to conceive, there are lots of reasons why things haven’t progressed but it doesn’t mean they won’t in the future. My gyni is as convinced that we have two super fertile cycles a year and if you look at many families there is often a pattern of children all born around the same date or six months apart. Certainly in our family my sister and I followed my mums super fertile cycles. I am one of 3 girls, 2 born in April one in October, my sister had my niece on my birthday and my DS was due on my sisters birthday. I have two cousins, sisters, whose birthdays are a day apart. My DH and his DB have birthdays a week apart. And they recently discovered that my great grandmothers birthday is 3 days before my DS. If you look for patterns in your family you may see that certain months are possibly your maternal line super cycles.

ThisBreezySheep · 16/09/2026 20:54

Esl17 · 16/09/2026 19:28

@ThisBreezySheep thanks for this - I can’t imagine having a 3rd. EPU have already said they won’t refer me until I’ve had 3 sadly despite my age. Did you do anything differently the 4th time or was it just literally a case of 4th time lucky? I feel this absolutely hopeless feeling. First time I was desperate to conceive again, this time I just can’t be bothered. Congratulations on the twins 💕

It’s so hard to say what did or didn’t help. I did take aspirin and progesterone from around 3 days after ovulation and I took 5mg folic acid that I asked the GP to prescribe. I read somewhere that this could help and at that point I didn’t see how anything could make it worse. It may have been that, it may have been coincidence. I do know I had no clotting issues show in my bloods though.

The third time I had done everything - coq10 expensive supplements for me and my husband, acupuncture, pomegranate juice. I was so utterly disheartened at 8 weeks, following a positive 6 week scan with a heartbeat to find out it was yet another MMC.

I suppose I don’t know what helped. Miscarriage is so cruel as it robs you of that lovely pregnancy experience.

Bookwormmumuk · 16/09/2026 20:58

Ive lost 3 babies then had my oldest, had another loss after and then im now pregnant with my second. I know how hard and scary it can be but it can still have positive outcomes. Don't loose hope but also be gentle with yourself.

Mattietoes · 16/09/2026 20:59

I’m so sorry, OP - as you can see from previous replies it’s common, but it doesn’t make it any less miserable.

I had three miscarriages in the space of nine months, with each pregnancy progressing slightly further than the last, then ending. Honestly it was one of the darkest times of my life - I remember saying to my husband that I felt like I was serving out some heinous punishment where my sentence was to conceive and miscarry endlessly until I died!! We had fertility tests and they found no reason for the miscarriages. In fact I’m pretty sure we conceived my son right around the time we were having the tests. He is now a healthy, chubby, smiley 11 month old, crawling all over the place, eating us out of house and home, starting nursery on Monday.

Despite all the research that’s gone into understanding fertility, it still seems to be a big mystery most of the time. It’s desperately unfair that some people have zero issues while others go through so much heartache - but then I guess most things are unfair.

I think if you can bear to persevere, the chances are it will work out for you - hopefully very soon - but I know that persevering can be hell. Sending love and strength!

loulouljh · 16/09/2026 21:00

Yes and i was older than you....(42). Finally was successful on 4th pregnancy...good luck.

dmf86 · 16/09/2026 21:08

I lost 3 in 11 months and went on the have a healthy boy who is now 6. The difference was taking aspirin! My GP suggested it and said it wouldn’t harm, and later down the line they found that this had made the difference

Copperoliverbear · 16/09/2026 21:12

I had seven miscarriages and went on to have two healthy boys. Hugs to you x

WarriorN · 16/09/2026 21:13

I struggled at 39/40 with a few mc.

I read ‘it starts with the egg’ and followed the advice - dh did too- and I’ve just put my now 8 yr old to bed. Number one was conceived first attempt around 36.

Esl17 · 16/09/2026 21:48

@Bookwormmumuk @Copperoliverbear @Crwysmam @dmf86 @JLMA @loulouljh @Mattietoes @ThelastRolo20 @ThisBreezySheep @WarriorN thanks everyone for the replies. It is good to know that despite all the heart ache every single one of you got your rainbow in the end 💕

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cocochoola · 16/09/2026 21:58

Yes @Esl17i had a DC without issue three years ago, then three MMC in a row, reasons for which were never found. I went private, got as many tests done as possible and given a protocol for clexane, progesterone and aspirin on a positive test. I'm currently 21 weeks and while I don't think I'll believe it until the baby is in my arms, so far so good.

I think if you can afford it, I recommend going private as NHS did very little for me and faced v long RPL clinic waiting lists.

I am so sorry youre going through this - it is heartbreaking and only those who have been through it truly understand x

FullLondonEye · 16/09/2026 22:07

Yep, I had two MMCs in four months aged 39. I was told no investigations would be carried out until I'd had three (not in UK). The third time it stuck, healthy baby girl born when I was 40. A couple of years later I had another MMC and it took us another couple of years before I managed to get pregnant again. Another girl, born when I was 44. I got sterilised as part of that C section so who knows what might have happened after that, but it doesn't matter because I got my beautiful, healthy children even though there were times at the start of the journey when I felt it was all hopeless.

MsMarple · 16/09/2026 22:13

Hi @Esl17 I had one miscarriage before DC1, and then another 4 before DC2. There is a 4 year age gap between them.

Two things were different before I conceived DC2: I'd started drinking a glass of cranberry juice every day (I'd read something about it being helpful for staying pregnant, but for the life of me can't find that info anywhere now! I was hoping it might work like non-medicine/safe version of the low-dose aspirin to thin blood, and thought it was just juice so couldn't hurt) and then also the GP had just agreed to refer me to a specialist for recurring MC. I never got the appointment because I got pregnant soon after with DC2.

Who knows if it was the juice, the unconscious stress release of getting an appointment so thinking everything would be OK, or just what was meant to be. Maybe all three!

Lots of love and good luck to you - I hope it works out for you too x

TurtleMcTurtle · 16/09/2026 22:32

So sorry for your losses OP 😢

Recent research has shown that it’s often the quality of the sperm that can cause the miscarriage, so is your DP aware of that? And has he been acting accordingly?

No (or very limited) alcohol, no smoking or drugs, lots of sleep, no cycling, keeping testicles cool, healthy diet and weight etc. It takes about 90 days for sperm quality to increase, so if he needs to make any lifestyle changes, maybe give yourself a three month break while he does that and then try again?

Unfortunately it’s the woman who suffers if the man doesn’t take care of himself (& his sperm), so it’s definitely worth him starting his parenting journey now so he can help to create the healthiest pregnancy and baby possible.

Wishing you luck for the future.

OhHobnobs · 16/09/2026 22:46

Sorry for your losses. It's the worst team to be a part of 💔

I had MC, baby1, MC, MC, CP, MC, baby2 (who was a threatened MC too). From the 2nd MC to baby2 was about 18months when there wasn't a single month unaffected by pregnancy. My experience was that my body could get pregnant but I just couldn't sustain/maintain the pregnancy. All my losses were natural, latest one being 11w, and one I really wish I could unsee. 🥹 When we set out to become parents, we ideally wanted 3 kids. We stopped at 2 because my heart couldn't take any more loss. I really had to advocate for myself HARD that last time around, battling the GP for support and progesterone!

36 with baby1. 38.5 with baby2.

Good luck for the rest of your journey

Esl17 · 17/09/2026 07:46

@TurtleMcTurtle yes my partner is more healthy than I am tbh, plays semi pro football so trains 3 times a week and is a pe teacher hardly drinks and doesn’t smoke/do drugs. Very slim with a 6 pack! He does treat himself to a weekly takeaway though and has his phone in his pocket at work all day long so definitely could do a couple of tweaks! But because of this I’m more inclined to blame my own eggs. We are currently supplementing up to the eyeballs! Xx

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Esl17 · 17/09/2026 08:39

@OhHobnobs i will definitely be pushing for progesterone next time, it’s awful that we have to fight to get the care we need. Thank you for sharing your story xx

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WarriorN · 17/09/2026 09:32

Could we urge partners to look at their lifestyle and sperm quality please?

It takes two to tango….

dairydebris · 17/09/2026 09:40

I know everyone's grief is a private matter, but just doing an informal round up of my friends, miscarriages are incredibly common, more common than you'd think until you start asking.

I prefer to think of my miscarriages as my reproductive system working correctly- exactly as it should, and am so very grateful to have the kids I had after my losses.

Don't lose hope and trust your body.

Everleigh13 · 17/09/2026 09:43

I had 3 miscarriages in a year (including one missed mc found at 12 week scan).

Then I had my first DD.

Then I had another miscarriage.

Then I had my second DD. I was 37 by this time.

I’ve also had lots of chemical pregnancies along the way. I think I am just susceptible to them.

I had testing after the first 3 mc but nothing was found and I didn’t make any changes for my successful pregnancies.

Wishing you all the best and I’m sorry you’ve experienced the miscarriages.

WarriorN · 17/09/2026 10:04

Early testing has created more awareness of how frequently we do miscarry.

Its a quarter of all pregnancies.

Early testing is useful for many health reasons but we must remember that miscarriages are very common.

Wishing you all the best success for the future ❤️