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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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The Thread for Happy Thoughts

149 replies

BeckyBendyLegs · 05/06/2008 11:23

I thought that as well as having threads here where we can talk about our worries, concerns and feelings as we come to terms with issues related to experiencing an MC we needed a thread where we could talk about things that make us smile to cheer anyone up who needs cheering up. As someone very wise said in one of these threads a couple of weeks' ago: it can't rain all the time! So here is my 'happy thought' of the day: today my second son was getting himself dressed (he's 27 months and going through an independence phase) and he was struggling with his top which was inside out and he said to me 'mummy it is too rectangled I can't do it!' I looked at his little face and just burst out laughing and it felt wonderful!

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msdynamo · 10/06/2008 11:07

Hi tm1978 and welcome. I agree with littleboyblue*, the mc experience makes us appreciate what good things we have in our lives.

BeckyBendyLegs · 10/06/2008 13:31

Hi Tracey your post really moved me and the coitus interruptus story made me laugh! It's so true that having an MC makes you look at life slightly differently and appreciate what you have got .

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littleboyblue · 10/06/2008 15:58

It sounds to me like this thread is working. We're all coming on here smiling at everyone else's stories, and helping us all to focus.

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2008 11:52

My happy thought for the day: today is the only day I have my two DSs with me all day and DS2 wanted to do some painting so I set them both up in the kitchen with paints, brushes and paper. DS1 is very tidy and neat but DS2 is a little hurricane so I stripped him down to just his nappy so he could get paint on him without worrying about his clothes. I've been busy with work this morning (I work from home) and left them more-or-less to it for a few mins while I caught up on a few emails and when I returned DS2 had painted his arms, his nappy, his feet, his toe nails, and his face green! He had had a great time. DS1 had painted a neat little picture on the paper and didn't have a scrap of paint on him. It took me ages to de-green DS2 and the kitchen!!

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charliesmum22 · 11/06/2008 12:06

Becky - love it! Hope you took a photo??

sonnyoutlook · 11/06/2008 13:00

hope you dont mind me joining in.

I've just fed DS and about to change him before we go to get his first jabs - everyone tells me this is just awful and its good my DH is coming too......

My happy thought for today:-

after waiting just over 2 yrs after my mc for our baby son - I CAN handle whatever happens at the clinic later.

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2008 13:23

That's a nice happy thought .

Try not to worry too much about the jabs - he'll have to do this quite a few times yet and will soon get used to the routine (and later on the special treat afterwards - that's what my DS1 looks forward to now as I always take him out for a milkshake after any jabs). He probably will cry but with lots of cuddles will forget about it very quickly .

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littleboyblue · 11/06/2008 16:09

Ok, my happy thought today, (I hope this isn't inappropriate) I've just got a BFP 6 weeks after m/c, gonna check with dr that there's no chance hormone levels are still not at 0, but all you ladies out there that have had one recently, go get on that man of yours!

charliesmum22 · 11/06/2008 16:24

Oh my goodness me! What great news! I hope all is as it should be. Good luck!

After that I think I will be trying to jump on dh this month - would love to be pg again!

poppy27 · 11/06/2008 23:13

littleboyblue congratulations on your BFP. Hope all goes well for you.

I have just had a lovely evening tonight. I am a girlguide leader and tonight we had a meditation evening with lots of scented candles burning and we listened to a relaxation cd and had some healthy snacks and drinks. It was just what the doctor ordered and if I hadn't been in a church hall I may well have drifted off to sleep. Have decided to get one of these cd's for myself.

msdynamo · 12/06/2008 08:49

Hi littleboyblue congratuations, that's fantastic news! Is it connected to when your little DS started laughing during your efforts ttc? Strange coincidence!

BeckyBendyLegs · 12/06/2008 09:44

That is just the best happy thought and it is totally appropriate! Congratulations .

poppy the candles evening sounds lovely.

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southernbelle77 · 12/06/2008 10:23

my happy thought for the day - dd has just plastered me in make up and painted my nails! At almost 4 she did great - although think if I go out in public like this, I might become a laughing stock.

Spending time alone with my wonderful dd is proving a fantastic tonic this morning. Taking my mind off all the horrible things happening ot my body right now. she doens't often get me to herself (I'm a childminder) and it is doing us both the world of good!

tryingnottoobsess · 12/06/2008 12:15

Hi All,

I am fresh from mc no.3 (D&C yesterday), and came here and was so pleased to see a happy post... I'm actually weirded out by how ok I'm feeling, but I'm going to make the most of it because I know it'll be up & down.

Good things:

  1. DH brought me 2 bars of green & blacks in hospital last night (I see a theme emerging!)

  2. As it is no.3 we get to see a specialist in 6wks (as soon as the hormones from this pg are out of my blood)

  3. I will have counselling this time.

  4. I'm going to change jobs. Have been treading water at work for over a year on the ttc/mc/not wanting to start a job pg rollercoaster. But sod it, I need to move on. Just need a plan now

beckybendy on your hen night clothing point nearer the top - I bought some 'almost inappropriate' clothes after my last mc - a denim mini from gap (which I wear with leggings and a fairly covered up top half to make it decent), and some hopelessly impractical wedge heels - yum. That was real retail therapy because for the last year I'd been buying clothes with half an eye to being imminently pg, and things had been getting a bit dull!

tm1978, really sorry to hear about your friend, that is truly awful. And then to mc so soon after... I hope the second half of the year is way more positive for you.

littleboyblue, gotta laugh at your pervy DS, bless!

tryingnottoobsess · 12/06/2008 12:22

oh, sorry, hadn't read page 2 yet... doh!

Lots more nice thoughts though...

[smiles] at your funny kids. My mate & I reckon the best age is when they're old enough to express themselves, but not old enough to know the boundaries of reality - they just come out with corkers! I especially love tm1978's son being 21 and called Keira - classic!

Big congrats littleboyblue, maybe your son saw his brother or sister being conceived....

daisy I wanted one of those relaxation CD's but couldn't decide which to get, so I borrowed one from the library and (ahem) ripped it to my ipod. Have used it loads... ace if I can't sleep too.

poppy27 · 12/06/2008 15:10

Hi trying so sorry this has happened to you as we were on knicker checkers together and I kept lurking hoping that everyone else would be ok. Glad you are going to get referred now, I am as well but it is a kind of cold comfort.
Take care of yourself, rest up and keep eating the green and blacks.
xx

BeckyBendyLegs · 12/06/2008 15:49

Hi Trying thanks for the fashion advice! I need to go shopping I think... I have a wardrobe full of clothes but NOTHING to wear! I bought some nice shoes recently though but I think I need to wear more than just the shoes . I'm so excited about this hen do and the wedding. The bride is one of my oldest friends, I've known her for 16 years. She's an inspiration because when she was 16 (20 years ago) she had a heart and lung transplant and she copes so well with it that you wouldn't know she had any health issues at all. She makes me feel very humble because she would love to have children but she can't because of her health (she physically can have children but it would be too big a strain for her body to deal with). She just gets on with life, and lives it to the full. She would love to sail around the world (except for the fact her new husband might miss her too much!).

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tryingnottoobsess · 12/06/2008 20:32

aw poppy, thanks, I remember you well. I'm still in the 'relief the surgery has gone ok' phase, not sure when the full miscarriage train of evil is going to hit me... sorry, not really one for the happy thread.

yeah, I'd rather not have got to the referral stage either, but it really feels like they're taking us seriously now, which is nice. After 2 you feel hideous, but also feel like they're fobbing you off. This time they'd got me a specialist appointment before we'd even left the scan room.

becky there's always someone to put things properly in perspective, isn't there? Now that's one girl who deserves a really special day.

BeckyBendyLegs · 14/06/2008 08:27

Happy thought for the day: the sun is shining and its farmers' market day here! That means lots of yummy goats' cheese, freshly baked bread with sundried tomatoes and basil, and homemade chocolate soap to have later in a nice hot bath .

HURRY UP AUNT FLO!!!!!! That's what I am thinking today. She's due to stop by in about two weeks I reckon since I ovulated two days ago.

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Ses15 · 14/06/2008 09:00

Saw this thread and thought it may be the one for me. Only problem may be the happy thoughts over the next few days but I'll give it a go!

First - if you don't mind - I'll share my experience....

Back on 14th Feb, discovered I was pregnant with DC1. We were over the moon. Have been married 2 yrs and always wanted 3 or 4 DC. All seemed to be going well, got the usual symptoms of ms, sore boobs, etc. Had 12 week scan on 11th April to find no heartbeat. I probably don't need to tell you ho we felt. Had ERPC on 16th April.

After 2 weeks of bleeding had stopped, we started ttc again although we didn't obsess about dates or anything. On 17th May I did a hpt as had been feeling a bit tired and weeing a bit more and I got a BFP. Didn't know whether it would be a true BFP after mc so did another one a week later and still got BFP. After a third BFP went to GP really concerned ERPC had been incomplete. She said wait a week and if still BFP to go back and that it was unlikely to be incomplete ERPC as I'd had no bleeding.

Sure enough a week later, another BFP so she sugested I went for a scan which I did this Wednesday. Scan was "inconclusive". Sonographer could see something but didn't know if it was "new pregnancy or retained product from mmc". Got sent to EPU for a HCG blood test and had to go back yesterday for a 2nd blood test.

When I went yesterday for second blood test I asked the nurse if they'd got the results from the first one. She looked and said "yes it's 2055". Just to be sure I asked her what that meant. She said "It means you are pregnant" I told her I couldn't work that out as if I'd had my 1st BFP on 17th May, I would be 7 weeks pg and that would be clear on the scan. She said "Oh, well maybe it is retained product then"!!!!

In the afternoon I phoned for the second lot of results and was told that the HCG levels had dropped and that it was likely to be retained product. The nurse said she would talk to the registrar about what to do next and then they'd phone me back. She phoned me back abut half an hour later and said that the registrar had decided that because my HCG levels were in the 000s but had dropped, they think it was likely to have been a new pregnancy which has miscarried again I have to go back in Monday for another blood test (not sure why??) and then go from there with potentially another ERPC middle to end of next week.

Well there, I've got it all out! Tbh, I do feel as if at least I know what is happening now but I just want to have just 1 dc!! (Am not v patient!!) Am also feeling a bit useless and don't want to keep having to put DH through all this.

Sorry for this v lengthy and not so happy post. If you'll let me join you, I promise to get happier.....

littleboyblue · 14/06/2008 11:26

Ses15
You poor thing, that sounds awful. I'm going thru a similar thing myself, m/c for the 3rd time t beginning of May and am still testing positive. They've told me I need to wait till 24th June for a scan to see what's happening.
We don't need happy thoughts from you right now, we post our happies here so that others can have a little smile to themselves at other's funny stories.
Take care of yourself. X

Ses15 · 14/06/2008 11:30

Thanks LBB. Only on mn can you find someone else that truly understands because they've been thru or are going thru similar. I hope your levels come down soon and, even though it may take a bit of time, let's hope we can both celebrate some good news in the future. My DH and BF are convinced that it will happen for us at some time in the future and I hope it does for you too.

msdynamo · 14/06/2008 18:23

Hi all, made my BF buy me some flowers today- hinting doesn't work, best to see a flower stall and head straight for it with him in tow! Then he got into the swing of the treats theme, and took me for a nice lunch, and then bought me a sexy pair of Tom Ford sunglasses! I'm not a materialist (much) but prezzies do cheer me up!

poppy27 · 14/06/2008 19:08

ses what an awful experience you have been through and are still coping with. Don't worry about putting your dh through things as it is not as though any of this can be helped. I have had 2 consecutive mc's and I felt like everyone was living through all the worry, high hopes, panic and despair with me espc. dh and parents. Trying to hide all this from my ds has been awful as I felt like I was waiting for him to go to school so I could cry for a while. But last mc was 3 weeks ago and I am beginning to feel better now. Still having broken sleep and bad dreams but during the day I am feeling much more upbeat. I wish you all the best for the future when I am sure you will have your much wanted dc. Take care of yourself just now and allow yourself time to grieve properly.
x

Ses15 · 14/06/2008 20:35

poppy - thanks for your kind words. I know most people - of not all - on this thread will have their own story of mc it does help to share with those that have an understanding and then to hear some positivity coming too.

Today as not been too sad but not sure if that's because I didn't really know I was pg this time or whether I'm still processing all that's happened or whether it's because at least I know what's going on with my body now. Maybe a bit of all 3!

Each day will be another step along the way of ttc I guess even if at the moment I think we'll wait a couple of months before trying again.

msdynamo - I'm v impressed with your subtlety! It is usually what's needed and seemed to reap huge rewards for you!

Hope everyone else has had good days???