Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

@justwant2beamum my heart breaks for you hun**

I'm unhappy in my job and I was counting down to my maternity leave. I spent all of last week worrying about being sacked for taking time off or being treated poorly because of time off. I did get a sickline for a week and today I got a call to check when I'm coming back. I'm due back in Wednesday

If you need time off, take it! My GP was happy to write me a note and all I needed to say was that I'm not coping well because I wasn't. As it's a pregnancy related illness they aren't technically allowed to use it against you

DH and everyone are telling me this and it's hard to believe but your physical and mental health come before work. If you're not ready to be back your work probably isn't going to be up to standard anyway x

Hi guys. I wimped out today, I just couldn't face it. I'm sick of being touched and prodded by (admittedly very kind) strangers. Lady at the EPU just phoned to say she's tried to get me out of it but the consultant is keen to get me in and see what my levels are doing. I'm going to go at 10am tomorrow and they've warned I may be hanging around a bit if they need the anaesthetist to come along and do the bloods, they bring an ultrasound to find the veins apparently which is a bit mad.

@Brightspark12 does this mean you have to go back in 48 hours? I'm sorry 😥 how are you feeling physically?
@AlbiMix I honestly want to cry hearing you say that. Makes me want to volunteer to be a hand holder/hugger on the EPU. I know the hospital inside out now! And the staff!
@justwant2beamum I'm so sorry you're going through this lovely xxx
@jlj19 what does calcification mean? That sounds so stressful!

Why is this such a never ending process??

My cramps and bleeding have still stopped. Not sure what my body is up to. So desperate for this to be over but also really scared of any medical management and that feeling that I'm not longer in control of my body.

Thanks @HotCupOfNo it was a very alienating experience just not knowing what was going on or why I was still waiting - if they'd just said to me at the start "you may need to wait for around an hour" I could have coped with that as I might have phoned someone to ask them to sit with me, but since no one gave me any info I had no idea if they had forgotten about me or what was going on.

So sorry to hear yours is still dragging, that's shit but maybe try to look at it from the perspective of they're trying to make sure they take care of you so they want to check your levels - this is better than being left to wonder. But I absolutely know how you feel being sick of being prodded! I have blood tests every 3 months for my chronic illnesses, plus specialist appointments and sometimes I'm just like enough!!! But you'll get through it, try to imagine when this is over, nice glass of wine (if you drink, nice cup of coffee if not!), looking back and feeling like a superwoman. These tests are just something you need to do to get there. Keep us posted how you get on tomorrow!!

Is anyone else just really frustrated with how long it might be to try again?

My bleeding has pretty much stopped. I started spotting 24/2, no HB confirmed 2/3, heavy bleeding 3/3. I just took a hpt and it's still glaringly positive. Like the test line is still nearly as dark as the control line. I know you're supposed to wait longer but I'm impatient and feel like time is ticking away

I have a scan tomorrow to confirm everything has passed. I'm really dreading this bc it's in the EPU and it shares a waiting room with antenatal. Yesterday when I was in there I was surrounded by heavily pregnant women and new dads waiting to bring home their partners and babies. Loved seeing the newborns but it did break my heart. We booked an appointment with a private recurrent miscarriage specialist after my scan but I'm sick of waiting

Sorry for the moan. Having a little feeling sorry for myself day xx

@HotCupOfNo I don’t blame you, it’s really not nice at all. Just think though you can try and get some closure after all this is done. Yeah I have to go back for more bloods on Wednesday. My Partner was annoyed but I understand they just want to rule out ectopic. I’m feeling ok physically surprisingly.

@angc30 I totally feel the same... didn’t want to do a pg test but I did an OPK and was still very positive indicating HCG still high. I’m just dreading how long it’s going to take for my periods etc to return. I’m already shopping for conception supplements again and conceive plus I just want to be able to start trying again.

It’s funny cos I didn’t ever quite get my head round the fact that it was finally ‘my turn’ to have a baby and the attention and excitement that goes with it... I guess maybe I knew something wasn’t right all along xx

Thanks everyone. I spoke to a gp at my surgery and when it was a mans voice my heart sank but he was actually the nicest, most informative and caring but practical person I have spoken to throughout all of this. He signed me off for the rest of the week no problem and gave me some really helpful advice and reassured me and after speaking to him it honestly feels like a small bit of the weight has been lifted. He seemed very positive about just trying asap. He said that my hcg should fall and should be able to ovulate in about 3 weeks. I was beating myself up about the surgical management but he seemed positive about it and said it's good as there's the best chance everything has gone so nothing retained which helps getting back to normal for trying again. He was super positive about the future and assured me that neither the tablets I took for sickness or the amount I was sick, didn't eat etc would have had anything to do with losing it.

Yes @angc30 I feel exact same I only had surgery on Friday and I was absolutely both devastated and furious that I had a blazing positive on an IC yesterday afternoon.

Hi ladies,

I've been catching up with the thread every now and again and have been thinking about you all and sending virtual hugs to all those struggling.

So... I hope that rather than being triggering this gives some hope - 11DPO and just took a FRER after a 4 hour hold. This was our third cycle after mc at nearly 9 weeks. I never test early but wanted to before the scan on Wednesday in London.

I'm terrified and haven't told DH yet. Wish me luck for this one ❤️

Here goes the trying not to stress...

Ps... it's very pink in RL. Looks grey on the pic xx

@glowingtwig ❤️ fantastic news fingers crossed!

I'm just back from my paddleboarding session which turned into 3 hours! I'm bloody knackered but it has done my head and heart the world of good.
We had several dolphins along the way at one point about a metre away in the bay overlooking the spot where we scattered the ashes which gave me a great feeling of peace.
For the first time since the 2nd of January when I found out that our baby hb had stopped, I felt like me. I felt an ounce of happiness and joy and had feelings which wasn't just numb or uncontrollable crying.

I know I'm lucky to live by the sea and Scottish lock down rules are different to Englands as your allowed one to one coaching sessions but highly recommend when you can just doing something for you that you enjoy or is outdoors. It really has made a huge difference to me.

My clever DH knew all along how to help me heal! I'm not telling him that though he's already smug half the time! 😂

@glowingtwig congratulations!! Such lovely news and you’re right it does give us hope xxx

@glowingtwig that's a brilliant line! It's great to see people getting their bfp 🌈

@justwant2beamum I'm glad your gp was able to help. Make sure you take care of yourself the rest of the week! The male ones in my practice have actually been easier to talk to and more understanding that the one female one in my practice. My big positive has me worried that I'll show up for my scan tomorrow and I'll need surgical management. I wish I'd accepted it from the start now

@Brightspark12 my new opks arrived today! I do love the routine of testing though! I have loads of prenatals left so I'm going to ask tomorrow if it's okay to finish those first

@Scottishskifun that's amazing. Made me a wee bit teary bc I'm still rollercoaster of emotions. So glad you're feeling like yourself and jealous Scotland is allowing training sessions. NI is doing really well number-wise but we're still not allowed to do anything 🙄

That’s great @glowingtwig congrats :) I like to hear of the positives as it gives me and I’m sure other hope for the future. I just want this MMC to be over with now and I’m Like you @Brightspark12 wondering how long it’s going to take for my period to return! My cycles were a bit up in the air before so I’m just hoping it doesn’t take my body forever to reboot!

That’s sounds like a great day @Scottishskifun and what great therapy for the soul ! I can’t wait to feel a sense of happiness again

Glad you spoke to your GP @justwant2beamum hopefully not being at work gives you some time to rest and process everything x

@glowingtwig thats absolutely brilliant news!!! Please come join us on this thread, you're our 4th BFP!!!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4184729-Recent-MC-New-cycles-trying-again?msgid=105381733

I cant believe out of the original crew 4 bow have BFPs!!! ❤❤❤

Ahh thank you @AMS19 sorry if I shouldn't have posted here, totally missed that thread ❤️

@glowingtwig I personally think it great for others to see, but thought you might want to join the other thread as the ladies going through it can all help each other with the pregnancy anxiety!

Congratulations @glowingtwig that seems a pretty strong positive for 11dpo and not even FMU!! Congrats. Thank you for sharing really does give me hope seeing you get that in 3 cycles. Praying and begging I catch on quick, I know probably 0 chance but part of me still holding out for my 2021 baby 🤞🏻

@HotCupOfNo I’m not surprised you couldn’t face it today. It sounds like you have been through so much.
They tried to explain calcification to me... said it’s only very small about 3mm and probably just a bit of wear and tear which can be normal. They said it’s probably nothing to do with the miscarriage and just something they picked up at the same time but I think they just want to check it again so we shall see.
Wishing you good luck for tomorrow.

@angc30 I can’t believe the EPU shares a waiting room with antenatal! That’s terrible. Sorry you’re having such a difficult time.

@justwant2beamum glad to hear that you spoke to someone helpful today. Hopefully you can take some time now for you.

@glowingtwig that is such lovely news for you. Congratulations!

I had a call back this evening to say my HCG levels are quite low but they want to do another blood test on Wednesday to check they are going down further I think so I’ll be back in EPU on Wednesday.

Ahh so nice to see lovely news @glowingtwig, and that made me feel v emotional @Scottishskifun, a reminder that there is an 'us' outside of all of this shit and so nice to hear you've found yourself again ❤️❤️

Can't wait to join that BFP group!! Xx

Right ladies, I have a million layers on, going for a brisk walk, got my headphones so I can listen to music and am drinking an absolute TON of water. If they can't do it again today then they never will!! Hope everyone's ok today and sending loads of hugs to those who need them xxxxxxxx

Thanks ladies yes it's been a mega soul boost after what feels like a eternity of sadness and trauma.

I can't recommend highly enough doing something which is about you and getting lost in it for a few hours. Self care is one thing but me time is different.

The emotions are still there I don't think they ever truly leave but hopefully soon each day they get a little less overwhelming

Hi everyone hope it's ok to join? Feeling like I need a bit of friendly support.. Started spotting a week ago today and despite calls to midwife and epu told it was normal but I knew something wasn't right and my anxiety was through the roof so booked a private scan on Friday where they diagnosed mmc- looks like heart stopped beating at 7w6d despite me thinking I was 10w2d at the scan :( absolutely crushed. Probably very arrogantly thinking I'd be fine as have a 3 yr old already who took 10 months to conceive but was a straightforward pregnancy. Went to epu yesterday for second scan and confirmation and to talk through management. Going back this morning to get medication but bleeding started yesterday relatively heavy so wondering if my body is just doing it itself and I might not need the medication... anyway the whole situation sucks and I'm sorry that you're all going through it/have recently gone through it too. Now sitting here dreading the pain that is apparently about to happen if you believe any articles/stories online... :( anyway nice to meet you!

@kiwi17 sorry for what you’re going through, nearly exactly same as me with dates too. It’s awful... my body passed everything naturally and I had about 4 hours of intense cramps and bleeding. I hope it is over quickly for you xxx

Thank you Bright spark that is actually really helpful to know! I'm sat outside the hospital now waiting to go in... it's all so horrid isn't it. Especially as one of my close friends works at this hospital as a Dr and she is like 22 weeks with her second and said to me it happened first try her husband was disappointed he didn't get to have more sex... 😣 she doesn't mean to upset me but just doesn't realise and I'm dreading bumping into her and having to explain...arghh

@HotCupOfNo thinking of you!!!

@HotCupOfNo hope it all went well this morning! X
@kiwi17 oh I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. It’s crushing finding out that you’ve had a MMC. I miscarried in mid jan and had an ERPC 3 days later so I don’t know much about medical management but I really hope it all goes ok for you 😘 x