Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

Morning ladies,

I had my d&c on 22nd of jan, took a clear blue 3 weeks after as instructed by EPU which showed up as pregnant 1-2. At that point I called EPU and they told me to come in, they did bloods and then repeat bloods 48 hours later which showed hcg was dropping but slowly levels were quite low at that point, they went from 64 to 51 on the bloods. That was about 2 weeks ago now. I’ve just done another clear blue and it’s still showing as positive 1-2. It’s very unlikely a new pregnancy as we have been careful. I would freak out if it is as we are taking a break from ttc and I’ve been drinking and not taking any vitamins. I’be had no other symptoms, EPU said last time if I had retained tissue it would be likely that I’d have some bleeding etc which I don’t. I’m inclined to test again later next week and go from there. I really don’t want to go back to the EPU as I’ve had to go there 5 times already. What do you ladies suggest?

@MeganChar1 51 is still too high for a negative lovely. It needs to be under 25 for cb digital, under 10 for cb non digital, under 6.5 for frer and under 5 for a negative blood test.id ask for a scan x

@dippyegg32 it was 51 about 2 weeks ago so should be lower than that now. Should I wait a few days then test again and then go from there? I’m back at work now as well which makes it more awkward to go to the EPU if I need to. I’ve already got 3 appointments for other medical stuff next week

As you're still testing positive on cb digital you're still at least 25 so somewhere between 25-51. It can take a while to drop completely but can also be a sign of retained products

Having said that you're only 5+2 post op. I'd text again at 6 weeks

@MeganChar1 I know it's so frustrating but it took me 8 weeks to get below the FRER threshold of 6.5 and I had no retained products or anything, just v v v slow dropping hcg

@MeganChar1i know ir doesn't seem it but you're still very early days so I would be surprised you would still be getting positives. I had a hcg level of 9 6 weeks post mva. I had more bloods done Friday (8 weeks post mva) which I'm waiting for. I would say if you're not getting negatives on a FRER after 7/8 weeks then worth going back. 6-8 weeks seems pretty normal to get to below 5 and be not pregnant xx

Wouldn't be surprised even!

Morning Ladies ❤️ Sorry for being quiet! Work + Flu (negative Covid test thankfully) has wiped me out! Hope everybody is okay and welcome to all the new ladies. So many message to catch up on!

@SuzieDeLaTour Firstly I am the ugliest crier known to man so you’re not alone there. I’m sorry that your appointment was so heart wrenching. In some ways, knowing that there aren’t any abnormalities in your results is comforting. But also, knowing that is really is down to nature is even more frightening because we can’t control it. I have absolutely everything crossed for you. I’ve just had my second period after miscarriage and I’ll be honest, it was just as heavy but less clots. So it is easing slightly. Just all takes bloody time sadly! I’ve made a promise to myself that I will stay clear of dr google if we are lucky to conceive again.

On the topic of vaccines - I will also defer if offered, but I’m 30 so it will be a wwhhhiiile before it’s offered to me anyway! I’ve just about recovered from my last miscarriage. If I experienced another after having the injection I know that I would 100% blame myself for having it. And I just wouldn’t want to put myself through that.

I would LOVE for us all to meet ladies. I live in Wales but the thought of a celebratory Prosecco on the thames sounds amazing. Particularly as we’ve all shared this horrendous journey.

Currently in my TWW - but I was so poorly that DTD/temping/OPKS weren’t as accurate so.. l’m not holding out hope! 😂 I’m not the best patient and OH was irritating me! Haha.

Sending love to you all! Xx

Morning ladies,
@SuzieDeLaTour my heart breaks for you this morning after reading your words. I hope you had as good of a sleep as you could last night and please just take this time to be kind to yourself. Not googling is a good idea- but we all know too well the lure to drag you in takes you down the rabbit hole of “research”. I’ve chosen to come off social media on Facebook and Instagram and can say I feel SO MUCH better to not be sitting scrolling. The girls in the group have already said it but take comfort from the kindness of your consultant. It’s the worst thing ever to be part of a group who are struggling and suffering BUT it’s the best place for support and comfort and it’s the love we have for our babies who we didn’t get to meet combined with the love for our babies we will meet that keeps us going on our journey.
Thank you for asking if my “beast period” arrived well... my period arrived but just a normal period (not light like some of you have had for your ‘first period’) I’m on day three of it and having my normal cramps and it all seems like normal. When I saw the consultant on Friday morning she scanned and said it did look like a period could come from what she could see but would be surprised as it’s only three and a half weeks since MVA- so obviously that has me worrying somethings wrong but rather than sit and worry I’m telling myself the consultant was just so so good at the MVA she got everything out and my body just prepared it’s self sooner. 🙈🙈 If a doctor read that they’d probably laugh but if it gets me through the next four weeks till my next period arrives (or doesn’t fingers crossed!!!)

Morning ladies! I hope you’re all having a lovely weekend.
@MeganChar1 I didn’t get a get a negative until 5.5 weeks post ERPC and it was still showing a quite clear positive a week or so before that so my levels must have suddenly dropped quite quickly when my period hit which might be the case for you too. I echo what the other ladies have said - I wouldn’t worry too much at this stage. The good news is they were dropping on your last blood test and I remember my nurse saying HCG levels are so individual (I had a higher reading than expected early on) - really they just use them as an indicator of things rather than focus on the number so the fact yours were heading in the right direction is good news. I would hold off a week or so like you said you’re tempted to do rather than put yourself through the hassle and dread of the EPU and take it from there. I thought I would never see a negative FRER as it feels like it’s going on forever and then BAM there it was! 😊
@Summersun001 urgh poor you catching the flu!! As if you haven’t been through enough 🙄 I hope you’re feeling better now? Amazing you’re in the TWW wait, fingers crossed!! Thanks for your kind words, I’m just going to have to trust in nature. My doctor said I was otherwise healthy and nothing I could do would make any difference which is both frustrating and liberating if that makes sense! Has anyone done any fertility meditation or anything similar? I remember reading studies on IVF where women who had undergone some sort of meditation had better outcomes than those who didn’t. I’ve never really been a meditation / yoga type person but if it calms me and makes me feel more positive I’m tempted to give it a go!!
@KJLM thank you lovely 😊 I did manage to sleep although I always hate going to bed laying in the dark as my mind wanders and I found myself replaying everything my consultant had said and picturing what my little girl might have been like etc. Not helpful at all I know!! 🤦‍♀️ I’m glad that coming off social media has helped you. It can definitely make you feel like crap sometimes so you’re being very sensible!
I’m glad your period hasn’t been too awful. I wouldn’t worry about it coming a bit early - it’s only a few days before 4 weeks which is the norm and our bodies are so individual we can’t all conform to the “average rule of thumb.” Good news is you’re on a fresh cycle!! Xx

All you ladies saying about meeting up in the future with our rainbow babies, that would be absolutely amazing.

Thanks @DMT1982 for saying about you running too. It's such a positive to hear you were running up to 25 weeks with your son, that has given me confidence and like you said it really is a time I can be completely stress free and feel like I'm getting my body healthy and ready for my future baby.

@SuzieDeLaTour I'm so sorry to hear you had a tough day yesterday with your results. Focus that your body created your beautiful, healthy son and can 100% do it again. I hope you find peace in there is nothing you did or could have done differently and that reoccurance of the same issue could be such tiny percentage. I echo that googling can definitely make things feel so much worse so do try and stay away from that, at least for a little while as it is still all so raw. I hope.you get to enjoy some of the beautiful sunshine today (if it is sunny where you are). Lots of love to you xx

@MeganChar1 sorry to hear you are still getting positives. As other ladies have said I think it is quite common to still be getting positives at your stage. I was still getting positives on non digital clear blues until around 6-7 weeks and FRER until about 7-8 weeks. I got a negative on a digital clear blue at exactly 6 weeks. Sorry I can't quite remember the exact weeks for the others now but definitely much later than I had anticipated and had read about. I didn't have anything retained but was just dropping slowly so was a long and frustrating wait 😞 I would say maybe test again at 6 weeks and go from there. Are you able to get blood tests again or scanned at all if you are worried?

@SuzieDeLaTour thank you I’m just going to focus on new cycle now!!
I did yoga when I was pregnant and have been doing yoga for grief after the loss of our son at full term. It really helps and yoga is great for fertility! If you google yoga for fertility (or whatever type of yoga it is you want!) you’ll find loads and tbh I find it’s totally personal preference- I never would have ‘bought into’ yoga previously but it’s so good for me and I normally fall asleep at the end so do it at night.
I’ve also been trying to practice mindfulness which is where you focus on the now rather than the past or the future- which is very easy when your consumed by your loss in the past and constantly striving towards the future when ttc. I mean it’s either the tww or waiting for period or waiting for appointment or scan or due date - it’s all a waiting game so it’s best to try focus on the now. There are loads of mindfulness apps and again I think it’s personal preference

@Summersun001 sorry to hear you've been poorly. Hope you are starting to feel better.

@SuzieDeLaTour I have been doing a fertility meditation which includes affirmations on YouTube for the past few weeks, sometimes I do my own meditation/affirmations and find it very calming and look forward to it everyday now. I've been someone that meditates on and off for years but doing it consistently everyday (but not beating myself up if I miss a day or so) has been so beneficial.

This is the one I've been doing on YouTube if you were interested at all, but won't be offended if it's not your thing at all too:

It's 10mins and I find very calming, but there are tonnes of others on YouTube if you want others 😊

I've been doing yoga for years, but was always more of a flow type of person but the month I fell pregnant I started a more relaxed yin type yoga, I've started this up again so do about 2-3 flow yoga classes a week and 2 yin classes a week. Definitely don't need to do that much, or can do more, whatever works for your body and schedule. Hope you find what works for you 😊 x

Morning all! Can I ask a question about ovulation pain. I rarely get it and tbh before all this ttc malarkey I would never have ever realised I'd ovulated. Now I'm aware of not so much pain per se but an on/off pinching sensation (seemingly always on my right ), however this is now day 4 of it. I'm not doing opks anymore, and no temp shift but surely 4 days is too much?!

Hey @dippyegg32 I've not been on here too much lately but just saw your post and had to comment - first cycle post-MC I had no Ovulation pain at all! This second cycle, the pain was intense! The day I ovulated the pain was ridiculous for an hour or two - really crampy, sharp pains on my left side. And for maybe two days either side I had/am having slight punchy/bruised pains on that side!

I actually had a pregnancy cyst on that ovary so I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I must have Ovulated on the right ovary last cycle as I didn't get this pain!

Also just an update to everyone in general, after having a really rollercoaster first cycle after the MC, a good heavy period seems to have sorted me out and my temps are clearly showing ovulation! 🥳 I have a good feeling about this cycle 🤞🏻

Morning lovely ladies...I need some help to be talked down. I'm 13DPO and I convinced myself I'd felt implantation this month, same as I did when I got my BFP before MMC. I've now done 3 tests in about 16 hours and they're all BFN including a FRER. I feel so desperate and like I've lost control. I just want to be pregnant again. I'm really trying to reason with myself that I know the odds each month but I've got myself into a bit of a state. It feels so unfair. Would really welcome some wise words to help me get a grip and stop torturing myself. xxx

@dippyegg32 I get ovulation pain usually for around 24 hours! More like a stitch for me

@LauraT94 that is a beautiful looking chart!!! Got everything crossed for your TWW!!

@Seasalt1984 okay, being totally blunt with you, as I think you want honesty, it is highly unlikely you are pregnant and getting a negative on a FRER at 13DPO. Not impossible but very rare. I'm sorry. I totally understand why you feel the way you do. There is a small chance it hasn't implanted, and implantation can happen up to 14DPO, but it's rare, so chances are, you probably aren't pregnant ❤❤❤

@Seasalt1984 If I were you I'd assume I was not pregnant. Remember, each month we all have a roughly 25% chance of conceiving even with all the right variables. Added to which your body is still recovering from physical trauma. I'd expect my period imminently, enjoy a lovely glass of red and enter into a new cycle confident in the knowledge you tried and you'll try just as hard again.

Hello everyone, hope it's ok if I join, was invited along by the lovely @Summersun001 ❤️

Last Friday I went into the EPU at what I thought was 6 weeks for a scan as I had some cramping and bleeding. They saw a very small sac measuring 5 weeks with nothing in it, and blood tests showed normal hcg but extremely low progesterone which is incompatible with a continuing pregnancy. I have just come back from the hospital as I had a second lot of bloods done after 48 hours so they can track my levels.

The pain is now really quite bad. Finding syndol and ibuprofen is helping a bit but hot water bottle is the best comfort. The bleeding is very intermittent, I wish it would just ramp up and happen. I have a 22 month old who has been pretty much ignored by me whilst I try my best to keep myself together. I can't seem to engage in anything with her, I just want to lie down and do nothing, so cue a lot of guilt over that. Part of me also feels very guilty that it's happened so early and I'm 'making such a big deal' of it somehow.

Sending lots of love to everyone. Sorry for the word vomit. It's a surreal time x

Hi @HotCupOfNo I'm so sorry you've had to join us! But you are in the right place. We've all very recently gone through miscarriages in some form. I found out on 21 Dec I had a missed miscarriage and baby had died around 7 weeks. I had had a scan at 6+6 where baby was measuring a bit small but had a heartbeat 💔 I had a MVA on NYE and am now in my 3rd cycle (including the one directly after the MVA) my first period post MVA was pathetic but this one has lasted 8 days and been a beast, so think my body is finally getting there. Its a super shit time, bloody awful, but it doesn't get more bearable I promise xx

@HotCupOfNo sorry that you have had to join us but it's a great support place.
What I have learnt from my MMC is there isn't anything which prepares you for the emotional aspect however much you try to rationalise it. Also you can't control this (god knows I tried in the early days) either. Everyone handles it differently but there is also a grieving process which is completely normal. I think for many from that positive you start to think about future and what that will be then it's snatched away.

I also know full well what you mean about the mum guilt (I have a 2 year old). Have you got a supportive DP/DH who can help out more over the next few days or so?
I found this helped me out quite a bit I was able to focus on me a bit and wasn't then worried about my DS or trying to explain.

Big hugs and get some warm pj's on and focus on you.

Thanks for your message @AMS19, I'm so sorry to hear you had to have intervention ❤️ it's my biggest fear at this moment in time to be honest. Also seeing a heartbeat is devastating 💔💔 Mother Nature can be so cruel. I'm trying to figure out if we want to start trying again straight away or if it's best to wait a while, I suppose I will need to see how this pans out and if it is 'straightforward'.

@Scottishskifun my partner is very supportive, but copes with things very differently. All I want to do is snuggle up on the sofa but he feels he needs to be doing things all the time - mowing the lawn, painting a stool (?!), changing batteries in things etc etc. It's driving me a bit potty to be honest. I'm having an angry day today! I'm going to order myself some very expensive new pyjamas, great recommendation!

Thankyou it's really nice to have somewhere I can come to talk to others about it all xx

Sorry to hear you are going through this @HotCupOfNo it’s a club I never thought I’d find myself but the ladies here have been very kind. I go into EPU tomorrow to start medical management following MMC, I’m petrified but know I can’t just sit and wait for nature to take it’s course. My partner is like yours , ALWAYS doing something! Cannot sit still , drives me mad! I feel he’s blocking everything out, he hasn’t asked how I am, how I’m feeling or spoke about what’s happened , strange creatures! I don’t think they have the same attachment as us.

Your words ring so true @Scottishskifun as soon as you see a positive you think of the future and plan! Now all I keep thinking is the events/plans (we’re hoping to do if covid allows) and the fact I should have had a bump at that point, thinking of outfits I would have dressed bump in, the pictures i would have had with my mum and my bump and that’s not going to happen now. Maybe I’ll stop counting the weeks/dates eventually and come the summer I’ll be in a much stronger mindset and not think that way, I don’t know. Such a horrible time at the moment and still can’t come to terms that’s it’s actually happening ! X

@Seasalt1984 I did this to myself last cycle.. convinced myself I'd had strong implantation pains like the month I got pregnant and when I got the negative tests I was literally like 'WHAT?!' I did it after my first mc too; I can remember lying in bed waiting to do the CB Early with FMU and rubbing my hands together excited to think how I would tell DH- nope, it was negative and I actually threw the test on the floor in anger  The month I fell pregnant with DD I actually thought I wasn't pregnant as I had pre AF symptoms. The wait for another pregnancy is a horrible time but for me as soon as AF started I would be ok again as it was another fresh cycle.

@HotCupOfNo I get the mum guilt not being present for your toddler and I felt this strongly during my mcs. It's also the deep need and want to give them a sibling too. I was terrified of intervention too but my body did it on its own, albeit I had to wait 4 weeks ❤️