Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

@Jujujuberry that's interesting to hear you are starting acupuncture too. If you are happy to share let me know how the first session goes? I've booked mine up for 8th March and looking forward to starting it.

@dippyegg32 that's so good to hear about your hCG levels going down, I can imagine it is such a relief to not have further surgery.

Looks like I'm about to start a new cycle as spotting tonight so imagine tomorrow will be cd 1 for me. Feeling positive for a fresh new month, my BBT seem to have got back up to normal temps again as they were on the low side and will get some pom juice in a few days🤞

@Ralala I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling by rough. I really hope your scan and bloods go okay and that everything comes back clear. Xx

@Ralala I do hope that’s true because I’m feeling so consumed by it at the moment. Hopefully easing of lockdown will help.

I’ve been off work a month and only just come back on phased return. We’ve said we won’t tell anyone next time until after 12 weeks but I’m stuck on whether I’d tell work or not again before that 12 week mark x

@MeganChar1 I've also said I wouldn't say anything until at least 12 weeks though I'd ideally keep quiet until 16 weeks.

We've decided we're "not, not trying". Period was my normal 4days. We'll dtd when we want, no opks and if it happens, it happens.

Thanks @SuzieDeLaTour it is really helping meeting people on here who are going through something similar. I felt less annoyed with my OH yesterday, he didn't mean to be insensitive and I think you're right men have a different way of dealing with these things and it can be hard for them to know what to do around us!

It's encouraging to see people starting to get periods back, I was warned by EPU about the "beast" period but am actually looking forward to it if it means my cycle will be getting back to normal.

@Ralala really sorry to hear you feel crap, hope you get some answers soon

I was trying to catch up on the beginning of this thread yesterday and I saw some discussions about thyroid, I think it was @AMS19 and @MeganChar1, thought you might be interested to hear my situation. I had half my thyroid removed years ago due to a nodule so i take thyroxine. I had no idea how important it is to have the thyroid levels checked before pregnancy so I was annoyed my GP didn't order blood tests straight away when I told them. I had one done about a week before my MC and got the results yesterday, interestingly the Dr said my thyroid hormones had increased rather than lowered which is not what they'd expect. I don't know if this had anything to do with the MC and I'll be getting my levels checked again in a few weeks, but thought I'd mention this because pregnancy doesn't always make you more hypothyroid so it can sometimes be a mistake to automatically increase thyroxine. Just thought I'd share in case it's of interest!

Thanks @AlbiMix yeah thyroid is a big miscarriage risk. I'm not taking any drugs for it as mine within the normal range, but I'm cutting out nearly all gluten from my diet. This naturally brings down levels. Usually a lot of ivf ladies follow a gluten free diet too so there isn't really any harm either. Definitely good to get yours checked x

I’m just over 5 weeks since my miscarriage..... this morning I have some pinky spotting and cramps..... I think my period may be coming. Typical after my referral back to EPU😂 fingers crossed this is it finally arriving and will get the final hcg out my system!!

Crossing fingers it's a "beast" period @Ralala

@dippyegg32 it’s a hard one when it comes to work because before the mc I was quite ill and needed a few days off, if they are aware you’re pregnant the time off doesn’t go against you negatively. Also because they knew I was pregnant I felt I could be more open about the mc but I just feel so hesitant to tell anyone next time, the only people I’ll tell are my two closest friends, also because I wouldn’t be able to lie to them about not being able to go out drinking!

@AlbiMix I did fortunately have mine tested straight away because I’d missed my period I thought it could be an issue with thyroid so I asked them to test both pregnancy and thyroid, that’s how I found out I was pregnant. But my TSH level at that test was like 6 or something then 5.5 when it was tested at my first midwife appointment, for pregnancy it’s not meant to be over 2.5 and it took the doctors 2 weeks to increase my dose after they’d already received the results. I’m now more knowledgeable so I’ll be a lot more on the ball about it myself next time. Also I wasn’t told not to take my thyroid meds at the same time as prenatal vits, some of the vitamins can block thyroxine from working so the doses need to be spaced out a few hours xx

@Ralala good luck, fingers crossed for you! Come on the beast period! (Sentence I never thought I'd say?)

@AMS19 @MeganChar1 I had read thyroid was a risk but only if it's "uncontrolled" so initially I wasn't worried at all as I have my levels checked every few months and I knew they were fine. My TSH was 2.29 in my last bloods from September and my GP said yesterday that would have been fine for pregnancy. It's interesting that thyroid hormones went up for me in the test from around 10 days ago (I don't have the numbers). I'm going to get another BT in a few weeks time and see what's going on there. I feel like my levels won't have been bad enough to necessarily have caused the MC, but who knows. I don't think I'll try GF because I already have a digestive disorder which restricts my diet enough but good luck to you both with your quest!

Hi everyone

So sorry @AlbiMix that you’ve had to join us but it’s a wonderful supportive group.

I also have an under active thyroid but like you I thought it was stable and to en whimsy it was a surprise getting pregnant as it had taken so long. I had it checked a few days before the miscarriage but I haven’t had the strength to ring for the results as I’m already wondering what I might have done wrong!

DH and I had a horrible weekend with him snapping at me and it all escalated because he didn’t see he had done anything wrong so we ended up saying lots of hurtful things and talking about separating. We’ve been through so many losses and it just takes its toll.

I’ve booked some counselling so I don’t think I ever really dealt with the losses properly before, the focus was always on getting pregnant again. Thai time I want to make sure I process everything.

I’m off work too. I can work from home but it’s a pretty full on stressful job and to be honest I don’t have the energy to interact with people. Work are being good for now but my boss wants to call me and she’s used words like ‘onwards’ in text messages. I know she’s trying to help by being positive but for now I feel like I need to acknowledge this is a horrible situation and process it all and not just try and power through it as that’s where I went wrong in the past. This loss feels harder for us because we saw a heartbeat whereas we learned early on with the others that either they were ectopic or they weren’t going to develop but I allowed myself the tiniest amount of hope with this one. Saying that I had a horrible feeling even after seeing the heartbeat and that’s what made me book the private scan.

On a slightly random note, has anyone noticed an increase in pregnancy symptoms after the ERPC/miscarriage? I swear my body is playing nasty tricks as my heightened sense of smell and sore boobs have returned after pretty much disappearing!

I am trying to book in with Mr Shehata and that seems a mission in itself! Also going to try acupuncture. A friend of a similar age who had a miscarriage before having her little girl shared lots of knowledge and tests that she had. The biggest recommendation was to lose 10kgs and follow a strict diet to help with egg quality and insulin resistance! Just wondering why the solution can’t be chocolate and alcohol for once! I know I could do with losing weight but it’s just feels like another slap in the face. I’ve seen people who are way bigger than me have kids! Anyway, if anyone wants any further information I’m happy to share or if you’ve found something that works please let me know!

I just wanted to thank you all for just being there, it’s so nice to know I’m not alone in this horrible journey.
X

Must remember to proof read my posts 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Badlydrawngirly sounds like a really tough time at the moment. Counselling sounds like a really positive step it's great you've arranged that. I hope it brings you some healing. I totally relate to what you've said about being so focused on just getting pregnant again. It's pretty all consuming isn't it! Stay off work as long as you need as well. You need to look after yourself. I was thrown in the deep end when I went back after 4 weeks (my MMC was over Christmas so already had a couple of weeks off anyway), it was a surprisingly good distraction but utterly exhausting and could have done without it x

@Ralala fingers crossed it’s a decent one. No one warned me of a “beast” of a period but that’s definitely what’s going on at my end!! I’m using pads rather than tampons so I can assess it and I’m constantly having to change it’s so heavy. I’m scared to go out in case I leak!! 🤦‍♀️
@Badlydrawngirly what a rubbish rubbish weekend for you, I’m so sorry. I think counselling sounds like a really sensible and positive step. You definitely need to process what you’ve been through and it will give you a space to unload and be completely honest without worrying you’ll upset/ offend someone else.
Please don’t feel rushed into going back to work. You need to put yourself first and make sure that you give yourself enough time to deal with your shock / emotions. Work can wait, it really can!!
I want to lose 10kgs too...though I’m eyeing up an ice cream tub as I write this so I’m not holding out much hope!! 😀😀 xx

@Badlydrawngirly I feel the same about the weight. I am overweight (BMI approx 28) and I'm sure losing a bit would help regulate my insane cycles. At the same time I'm like... this is so fucking unfair. Plenty of heavier women have healthy pregnancies. Also surely when we have been through this we deserve some chocolate and treats!

@TheDaydreamBelievers absolutely!! Chocolate is my best friend right now 😀 x

@Badlydrawngirly @SuzieDeLaTour @TheDaydreamBelievers if we don't deserve chocolate now, when do we ever?! I know what you mean about other people having healthy pregnancies in the same/potentially less healthy circumstances. I have a normal BMI, on the whole I'm healthy in terms of things I can control (I have 2 chronic conditions) and I still miscarried, while there a loads of people out there who take worse care of themselves and have had no MCs...life just isn't fair! When I was fretting about my thyroid my OH was like but there are people out there who take drugs, drink etc and still have babies just fine, you'll be ok. And look where we are...

I don't know what I'm trying to say, just that sometimes these things aren't within our control and if I want the chocolate and it'll bring me comfort, I'm having it.

@Badlydrawngirly I'm really sorry you've had a horrible weekend, I hope the counselling helps. Sounds like you've really been through it and like you're a strong lady, keep going, you've got this!!

Just want to ask has anyone had experience of going private for tests after miscarriage, like going to private gynaecologist? Would you still need to have had 3x miscarriages or would they accept you after 1? I know it seems a bit much to want tests after just 1 but I’ve just been so traumatised by it I don’t wanna go through it again and I want to manage all the risks as much as I can x

I think I may be able to call cd1 tomorrow.... I have epu for bloods. I’m still going to go to find out what the situation is. No harm in doing so I don’t think

@MeganChar1 no I haven't. This was my third pregnancy but first miscarriage. I asked my consultant if odds are higher having had one and she said that each pregnancy is treated on its own merit and it will again be a 1/4 chance of miscarriage.

@Ralala good luck tomorrow. It'll be interesting for you to find out what your HCG level is and then you can put a plan in place if needs be. Will they scan you too?

I've found these stats reassuring from the miscarriage association

@MeganChar1 I was wondering the same thing as you re: a private gynaecologist appointment after miscarriage as I feel the same way. It may depend whether you need a GP referral, in my experience for other issues, even with private specialists, you need a GP referral, but it may work differently for gynaecology (for example it's much easier and cheaper to get a private ultrasound scan in pregnancy than to get private scans for other health concerns from what I can see). It may be that you could ask for a private referral after just the one MC? Wondering if anyone has any insight on this front?

Hello ladies
I know it sounds like most of you use ovulation kits which I’ve never tried -still using the old school monitoring CM! Just wondered after mmc before period if you’ve noticed ewcm when you’ve got positive ovulation test?
I had ewcm 3 weeks after erpc and dtd- I’m now 4.5 weeks post erpc still no sign of period wondering when I should take a pregnancy test!
I got a neg test at 3 weeks post op (although after 10 mins there was a vvfl.
I know I’m clutching at straws! X

@LostFox82

I got a positive OPK and lots of ewcm about 3.5 weeks post MVA but we decided against trying that cycle.

I'm now getting lots of EWCM again and back on the opks to see if I can get my peak. This is cd21 for me and I usually ovulate between cd22-25!

I'd maybe take a pregnancy test just to be sure?

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments. You’re right, work can wait and we absolutely do deserve to eat all the chocolate and ice cream right now! I had my first alcoholic drink since before my bfp in jan tonight. I felt guilty even though I’m no longer pregnant. There’s such a lot to adjust to and it made me realise how quickly we change everything to focus on our much wanted babies and then it’s cruelly taken away.
@MeganChar1 I’ve been looking at private testing for recurrent miscarriages with Mr Shehata at CRP. I’ve been under the NHS RCM clinic since 2017 and while I love my consultant and would want to be under his care during pregnancy, I’ve found out there are tests that are only available privately. I’m going to be honest with him about what I’m doing and hoping he will be supportive even if he doesn’t believe in some of the theories and treatments (such as NK cells).

There’s a great group on here for ladies having this treatment (pred thread 27) and there are some happy outcomes after multiple losses.

It’s hard to know when is the right time to pursue more tests. I do understand why the NHS make you wait for testing as some people will go on to have a successful pregnancy but I think testing needs to be more thorough and consistent for people who have multiple losses. I wish I had looked at further testing years ago but the focus was on simply getting pregnant. I didn’t realise that there was treatment to help you get pregnant other than ivf etc.

I would say for anyone with any autoimmune conditions or throes problems (I have lupus and an under active thyroid) then it’s worth getting more tests privately.

X