Mmc

[yellowmellw]

Went for my 12 week today and baby had stopped growing at 8+4. They are giving me a week to see if things move on their own. Don't know how to feel but so feel guilty

[PineapplePrincess]

Bought more pregnancy tests this morning. Haven’t used them, going to hold off till next week. Changed times, when TTC I couldn’t keep a pregnancy test in the house for the desire of wanting to pee on a stick!?!

Thought I had a good day today. Tidied cupboards, cleaned house, did washing and changed the sheets, etc, etc. Managed to get tons done and keep mind off of things. Hubby comes home and pulls criticism at every little thing; really stupid things (I took some of his space in the shoe cupboard; I left a stained handbag on his sink and not mine, etc).

Really upset me. Thought I was being productive and proud that I managed to pull myself out of my usual pity-party. The criticism just seemed to undermine the fact I’m fighting to function at the moment.

No apology forthcoming, so we’re still not speaking to each other.

[Cleozeta]

What a shame, pineapple , it takes a lot for us to motivate ourselves and do productive things at this time, how sad that he doesn't understand. Makes you wonder why bother, but try not to let this bring you down again, you have been strong pulling yourself through this and carrying on with drive and motivation (you are a step ahead of me!) So try to carry on - for you. Hopefully he'll come to his senses and realise how hard this is. It's difficult for men to understand sometimes, they don't have the raging hormomes or the physical stress. Hope things sort out between you soon. Maybe try telling him how you feel?

[Michelle0507]

Just done a test and got a negative, I feel so sad now although I've been desperate for this day. :(

I went to see Ed Sheeran last night and i am struggling so much today. Hadn't realised how much it'd all taken its toll on me! :(

[Cleozeta]

Michelle at least you have clearence to move on now you have your negative, but I understand it's hard too, as seing it makes it real. I took another test today and it's still faint positive. I desperately want it to be negative now, but at the same time I know it will hit hard when it is

[Pampl3m0usse]

@Cleozeta faintest of positives here too and I actually had a good cry about it. I think im worried about retained products and desperate to try again.
@Michelle0507 I'm so sorry you're having a difficult day. even though it's something I'm desperate for I think the concrete realisaton will be hard. well done on getting out though.
@PineapplePrincess I hope you and DH are on better terms today. it sounds like you did an amazing job. my DH keeps telling me off for doing too much... which I probably am. went to waitrose with my eldest today brought shopping in and couldn't find phone so drove all the way back. only to discover I'd plugged it into my charger on my return from waitrose.... oops

[Cleozeta]

Pample have you been checked for retained products? I know I have as my MM failed last week so the leftovers are still there. Hoping to get rid of the last bits on Tuesday. But I think thats why I'm still getting a faint positive.
I got really upset yesterday as a friend on facebook (who I've not seen for years) anounced her pregnancy with my 'would have been' due date. It hit me like a brick.

[Pampl3m0usse]

how long is it since you had your main loss? it's two weeks today for me and they said they wanted a negative test by three weeks.... they did a scan two days later and told me it had "gone" but weren't particularly thorough about it. it worries me because this was the same sonographer who must have missed bloody areas on the scan a few days before because I was losing masses but insisted it was an ectropIan. the line I'm getting is very much barely there with fmu so maybe it'll be gone in a day or two. CM is now evident and of the non fertile variety you so I've wound myself up reading about anovulatory cycles!!! xx

[Cleozeta]

Mine was 2 weeks ago yesterday. I am still having brown spotting, so no ovulation signs yet. Although I know that I willl worry as I'm terrified of an anovulatory cycle!
I wouldn't panic about that yet though as you won't ovulate until you have a negative preg test, which sounds like its on the way for you if they are already super faint. If it doesnt go and you are worried I would ask to get checked again.
My tests are faint now, but not squinters. If you see what I mean!

[Michelle0507]

It turns out there was a VERY faint 2nd line. :(

[Pampl3m0usse]

Mine was a squinter too Michelle..... after two and a bit weeks of miscarriage and a fortnight of bleeding before that and several weeks of worry before that I just want to move on!!

[PineapplePrincess]

Hey guys, hope everyone is doing okay.

Had a few bumpy days Thurs/Fri last week with hubby and I constantly arguing, mostly about nothing - but seemed to get blown out of all proportion. Not sure if between the two of us it’s just stress/hormones. Settled down now, and we’ve had a good few days over the weekend.

Took test on Saturday which appeared to come up negative, but then when I looked at it again there was an evap line. Not sure what that means!

Have had a bit of spotting yesterday and today, so maybe everything hasn’t gone. Have been thinking, I really haven’t bled that much this miscarriage - doctor manually removed pregnancy, but I was at the other end I didn’t see what came out (sorry TMI). So a bit worried that there’s still more to come, or first period is going to be horrific. Will maybe retest again today.

{{{hugs all round}}}

[Cleozeta]

Sorry to hear you've had a hard time pineapple, I hope things get easier for you. I think on top of the wacky hormones, we also have the stress of not knowing whats going on with our bodies, plus grief of what we have lost.

Well I had a surprising day today. I was booked in for the vacum procedure, and was told to go in if I still had a line today. Well after the failed MM I have hardly bled at all, and this morning a hcg was still showing a very faint line, so I went in and got the pre procedure scan.

Well to my surprise (and the sonographers) everything had gone, the lining looked perfect and an egg was about to pop out!! So I was instantly discharged thankfully! Legged it home to go and dtd with dh quick before ovulation happened!! I apparently had a 21mm follicle ready to go then and there.

After the last shitty few weeks I was pleased for some good news for a change!!

[PineapplePrincess]

Yay @Cleozeta!?! Actually lol at the thought of actually seeing the egg, how’s that for ovulation detection, same time every month!?!

Did another test this afternoon and got a faint positive, grrrrr! Have been getting a bit of goey browny discharge (TMI - sorry) and was wondering if it was CM as timing would be about right, but assuming that’s unlikely if still showing faint positive.

Hubby still doesn’t seem to be up for trying again. Altho’ he’s very amorous atm. So that’s confusing and annoying at the same time!?!

[Michelle0507]

That's amazing @Cleozeta!! I've no idea when mine will be. My last period was 11th March, but I only had that one as I was on the pill until Feb!

@PineapplePrincess I am the same which the discharge. I think I'll do another test and see.
Due to go on Holiday on Monday and I am dreading getting my Period. I've packed so many pads in all sizes! Lmao!! I think my Partner was ready quite soon after.x

[Pampl3m0usse]

@Cleozeta that's super news. I got a very positive OPK this morning so I guess we're on the 2WW together? Going to DTD tonight and tomorrow to try and catch all bases (or eggs!). I'm not expecting to fall this month but am relieved it looks like my cycles are getting back to normal after reading stories of people having 3/4 anovulatory cycles after MC (always the optimist me!)>
@PineapplePrincess I had about a weeks worth of faint positives. It did disappear to be a total squinter that my husband refused to accept he could see. I'm sure it'll be the same for you soon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed your DH's amorousness is linked to wanting to try again.
@Michelle0507 my LMP was March 4th, no hearbeat confirmed on 10th May, MMC 11th (which failed) and 13th (which looks like having been successful). Faintest pregnancy test until Sunday. Looks like ovulation today / tomorrow..... (I'm sure I just gave you way too much info!!!).
xx

[Cleozeta]

Pineapple - haha about the monthly scan! I was actually thinking on my way home about how awsome that was to see, and so much easier than faffing around with opk's etc. If I were rich I'd have my own scanning machine with live in sonographer. I wonder if that's what Kate & Wills have?!

I didn't think I was ovulating as I was still getting faint hcg test and also brown discharge right up to the day before. Even a little bit before & after the scan. Opk's were not showing much. A medium line, darker than the hcg but not positive. I took temp this morning and it's high, so I guess it's happend now, so pample - yep, 2ww together! Dtd yesterday after scan so at least I don't feel it's wasted.

I am so releived, and surprised that ov has happened so quickly, I was expecting several months of annovulation and not knowimg whats going on too. My hormomes have not been the stablest before bfp, with high fsh and boarderline progesterone, I'd been taking suppliments to balance, so I was fully expecting this to throw me out completely. So relieved!!

[Michelle0507]

I'm so excited for all you who are trying. It inspired me to do an ovulation test, the 2nd line was so faint so I'm not sure if that means things are heading in the right direction as I've never done one before.
I can't believe how lucky I was to get pregnant so quickly the first time.
I feel like the only way to heel my heart is to get pregnant again, do any of you feel the same?

I don't know where I'd be without this thread!! x

[Cleozeta]

Exactly the same Michelle. I am determimed to be pregnant by my original due date, that is the only way I'll get through it!

A faint line could be a sign of it building up to ov. Keep checking daily! I can usually read my opk's quite well, but I think it was different this time as I didn't get a positive even though the scan said otherwise. I wonder if either my positive was a few days ago as I only started testing the day before scan as I didn't think there was any chance with the brown spotting, or maybe hormones are confused by the small remIning hcg, who knows.

[PineapplePrincess]

Would love to start trying again, it’s whats kept me going these last two years. 😩

[Michelle0507]

@cleozeta I have no idea about all this, I'd be on the pill for about 8 years, came off and was pregnant in 4 weeks!
So now I'm all in a flap because I don't know when I'd ovulate or anything. I really don't want to have a period esp while I'm on Holiday, so I think we're just going to have to get on with it!!
@PineapplePrincess fingers crossed for you. It'll be lovely for us all to get pregnant but we don't live in a perfect world where we always get what we want sadly. :'( x

[Pampl3m0usse]

so after a service mot and £700 of repairs to my car yesterday it's leaking and smoking under the bonnet today!!!! finding it hard not to say "just my luck"!!
Michelle - I feel exactly like that; and Cleo I too am hoping to be pregnant before my due date - I told DH I wanted to be "out of he danger zone" by then and he told me not to phrase it like that!! it took me 15 cycles to get pregnant with my first, 1 post breastfeeding with my second, 1 with my third and "accidentally" before this miscarriage. which theoretically means I shoUld get pregnant fairly easily but DD's 15 months is haunting me even if it's not long in the grand scheme of things....

[Cleozeta]

Oh no pample! Thats expensive. Another stress you don't need!

I got pregnant straight away with my 1st, 6 cycles for 2nd and 13 or 14 cycles for this mmc, so if I follow that pattern it doesn't look too good for next attempt, especially at 41!

[Lphil93]

I'm not sure whether I will be of any comfort to anyone but I found out about my MMC at my 12 week scan in mid jan. the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks which is when I stopped having symptoms and I stupidly thought I was lucky and was over the morning sickness etc. So my first advice would be to trust your instincts and If sudden changes appear - demand to be seen.

I had a medical miscarriage 21st Jan after spending a week hoping the scan was wrong and going back for a second.

Got to mid feb and I noticed some familiar symptoms had returned and I hadn't even had AF since the MC. But better believe it I was pregnant again. Turns out I conceived not a week after my MC complete.

That's completely up to you and when you feel ready TTC again - but I'm now 19 weeks - feeling movement and due my anomaly scan next week.

[Cleozeta]

Congrats Lphil! That's great that it happened for you so quickly, gives us hope

[PineapplePrincess]

Congratulations @Lphil93, hope the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly for you and bubba.

I’ve decided the best way to get pregnant is to make my life as incompatible for a new baby as possible. Sod’s Law usually works, right?

To that end, I’m thinking of buying a convertible. Was suppose to buy a new car anyway as the lease on ours is due soon, was holding out till the 12wk scan and then go for something uber sensible that would cater for prams, buggies, bikes, etc. The idea of car shopping now just depresses me; so my solution is to buy something completely whimsical and fun!?! It may be the sunshine of the last week has gone to my head too!!!

In other news DH has said we can get a bunny rabbit. He has previously been anti pets. I think this is suppose to be a substitute for a child/sibling for me and DS. Don’t know whether to go for it, as again feeding into the Sod’s Law theory, would be completely impractical with a baby!