Mmc

[yellowmellw]

Went for my 12 week today and baby had stopped growing at 8+4. They are giving me a week to see if things move on their own. Don't know how to feel but so feel guilty

quick one Cleo - sat at the doctors waiting for a sick note.
they told me they wouldn't do medical management unless I had someone to drive me there and back and with me all of that day..... hth x

Ah thank you pample. I was hoping to not have to put DH through any of this part, plus childcare is awkward! Will talk to them and see what they say

Fingers crossed they won't insist on it. TBH was entirely unnecessary on my part... x

Morning guys. Took a few days out, had not a bad weekend; meeting up with friends. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m okay when busy and my minds off things; but not so good when I have time to dwell. Given I can’t ignore feelings or distract myself forever, not sure where that leaves me!

Everywhere I go there are pregnant people, people with newborns or people talking about babies. Took DS to hospital appointment today (same area of the hospital I went for scans and miscarriage, so that’s bad enough when this week would have been 12wks tomorrow) and the nurse that was tending to DS kept going on about her daughter who had a baby last week. Tried to be polite, but really wanted her to stop talking!?!

Reading lots and joined a few FB pages for miscarriages, and the more I read the more I want to try again. It’s like gluten for punishment.

Wish they would hurry up with the tests and referral. Just want to know what my chances are: and as ever, feel time is running out. Hubby is still not up for trying, finding it difficult to broach the subject.

@Cleozeta - I was told the same, that I needed a ride home (could be a taxi, but not preferable) and someone to stay with me for 24 hours afterward. If I couldn’t provide that then they wanted to keep me in or defer to another day.

@Pampl3m0usse - hope the docs appointment has gone okay.

Pineapple I totally understand. I feel the same. Always seeing pregnant people (I'm sure there are more now!!) And people always talking about babies. I'm struggling with that too. Desperate to try again as time is rapidly running out for me.

I have managed to arrange a lift home tomorrow and DH will be with me overnight, hopefully that will be enough. I don't want to put him through tomorrows experience in case it puts him off trying again!!!

@Cleozeta glad you've got that sorted... I'd be inclined to say you had a neighbour in or some such if they start being fussy. How old are you (if you don't mind me asking?) I'm sure you'll have mentioned upthread. I've just turned 34 but DH is soon to be 40, which I'm aware has medical (sperm quality) implications and is also likely to put a limit on how long he's prepared to try for.
@PineapplePrincess hope your appointment with DS was OK apart from the pregnancy talk. To be honest I'm now at the point of coming out with it if someone blathers about babies and it upsets me. My lovely neighbour across the road has just come home with her newborn (I kept bumping into her heavily pregnant self heading in the the women's bit of hospital as I was going for all my EPU stuff. I have a nursery class and one of my Mum's has a newborn and two more are heavily pregnant. Not looking forward to dealing with that (where I can't be quite so blunt!).
Doctors was fine; they signed me off for the rest of the week and ordered blood tests to check my iron levels. Boss is now being very awkward about wanting a sick note to cover half term too even though I would be going into work if it wasn't half term. Actually resorted to speaking to Union rep who has confirmed that if the doctor says I'm fit for work I don't need a sick note over half term. It's all a bit ridiculous because even if I did get a sick note half term wouldn't count towards my sickness records in any way shape or form! I'm just waiting for the ticking off about being off sick I get when I go back if I'm honest (even though they know it's pregnancy related!!). Anyway mini rant over!!!
xx

Hi all,

Tried to have quite a normal weekend, bought plants for the garden planted them. Went out for a meal last night, first thing I see a New born baby! I'm just not hungry though, I'm eating portions a 5 year old would eat, hey ho!
Enjoying the sunshine in the garden today, even put a bikini top on, all my neighbours are old so they'll be horrified.

Glad you have someone to fetch you home and stay with you. I couldn't have gone though Thur without my Partner with me the whole time. :(

Rubbish about your work and the sick note I feel like I have been so lucky! My partner keeps saying you work for a Children's Charity and they're meant to be all about the child so they should understand!
Busy week for me at a Friend's daughters dance show tonight (I know it'll make me cry!) Ed Sheeran Weds and staying at my friends in Manc. A bit apprehensive about it all actually. x

Pample I'm 41 and dh is 44 so time is of an essance if we want to try again.
Hope you get your work thing sorted, sounds like they are being a bit unnecessarily picky.

Dreading the medical management tomorrow. And ironically all bleeding has completely stopped today. If I hadn't been scanned I would assume it was done and be happily awaiting ovulation. Good job for modern technology! I wonder what would have happened in the olden days, before scans. My body totally thinks its done. I think we must have had so many more problems before this technology. I had a terrible 4 day labour with my son 7 years ago, which ended in a c-cection as I never got past 9cm. (My body is clearly not very good at expelling things) Before the days of medical intervention I don't think either of us would have made it.

Good luck with medical management tomorrow @Cleozeta. I didn’t know what to expect with it and was dead against it as an option (preferring the ERPC) but wasn’t really given a choice. Ended up nothing happened, no cramps or bleeding - if anything I went backward. After 7hrs doctor examined and was able to manually remove everything. Wasn’t as bad as I had envisioned, but perhaps not the most dignified of things (would prefer to be out cold!)

@Pampl3m0usse, can’t believe your boss is being so awkward. So people just don’t get it though.

I’m also at the point of just telling people. If anyone asks me questions re having more children I’m just going to come out and say it. If they are tactless enough with the question, then they can deal with the answer. Nurse today was obviously just very excited to be a grandmother - but she told me her news twice (obviously forgot we’d had the conversation 20mins earlier), and both times I struggled to respond.

DS is okay, but they think he has Henoch-Schönlein Purpura which causes random bruising and can affect his kidney functions - so they are running lots of tests. Will be interested in the results as one theory is it’s blood clotting related the other is the immune system attacks health cells. So there maybe some indirect linkages to the miscarriages if it’s hereditary - pulling at straws, but will try anything at the mo!

Thinking of you today @Cleozeta.. I know what you mean about the bad old days. I haven't ever gone into spontaneous labour and drugs to induce etc have been ineffective. Don't think I'd be here! My Great Grandmother died in childbirth with her first child, my Gran, which is always a sobering thought.

It's hard isn't it.... @PineapplePrincess; I'd have thought a nurse would want to be slightly more careful about sharing her excitement in a professional context....

Glad to hear that your DS is OK and that they're taking good care of him with the tests. maybe it is related, maybe it isn't, hopefully you'll get the same level of care to get to the bottom of things, though.

I'm now sat here with a raging migraine having ran around sorting the house out for the last four hours because we're moving in six weeks (hopefuly) and there's so much to do. Probably unwise though... Now have to run to the supermarket as DH has a parents evening tonight so need to collect feed and put the children to bed....

Been in the hospital since 8.30 this morning, and nothing happening. Lunch was nice though.

Hope you’re progressing okay @Cleozeta.

Gosh @Pampl3m0usse, moving house? You really have a lot on your plate these last few days/weeks. I don’t know how you’re coping, but you have my admiration.

I was having a bit of a pity-party this morning, but managed to pull myself out of it. Have cleared out my wardrobe, been ruthless at throwing out old and unworn clothes; including my maternity clothes. Figure if we were to fall again, I’d buy new ones. Fresh start.

Oh no @Cleozeta I hope that things have started to move for you today.
@PineapplePrincess our youngest is still in a cot in our room and we don't have a room for her to go to. We put the house on the market when I found I was pregnant and now if we're going to try for another baby could do with more space anyway so have decided to go ahead. We're also in the (un)fortunate position of inheritance from my Mum meaning we can afford somewhere bigger in a way we couldn't previously.
I also threw out a load of old baby clothes on the basis that if I get pregnant again I'll get new. I bought one thing for this one that's still hanging in my daughter's wardrobe though.
Anyway the moving is giving me some focus. It's almost embarassing how much crap has gone on recently (even my friends report telling their friends what an unbelievably sh*t time i've had!) so at least it gives me something positive to talk about!!! Well done on your sort out!

No progress. It didn't work.
They first tried to discharge me saying to take a pregnancy test in 3 weeks and come back if its still positive. I was fuming as medical management had clearly failed and all the stuff was still there. If I'd waited another 3 weeks that would have been 9 weeks since the pregnancy failed. Thats a long time to be walking around with retained products. Plus I'm now 41 and do not have time to waste 'waiting it out'. It took much convincing and bursting into tears to convince them to actually schedule something else in before 3 weeks. Now booked in for the vacum procedure next Tuesday. I just want it to end now

Hopefully a fresh start @Pampl3m0usse. You certainly deserve one.

I did a pregnancy test today, I know too early - but bleeding had pretty much stopped so thought I’d give it a go. Initially came up clear, but after a few minutes there was a faint line. Grrrr, will try again next week.

Other reason for testing was DH was in the mood for DTD last night, and all I could think about was I hadn’t done a test. Not sure if he’s changing his mind, or just in the mood. 😜

@Cleozeta, so sorry you’ve had such a crap day. I really question the success rate of medical management, I keep hearing people say it hasn’t worked for them - but hospital kept telling me it worked in 90% of cases.

Glad you’ve got a date for ERPC, altho’ it sucks you have to wait till Tuesday - could they not have found you an emergency slot? {{{hugs}}}

Oh my gosh @Cleozeta that's ridiculous. Might it be worth you speaking to PALS to try and get something booked in sooner? I've always found aggitating with them has helped when dealing with my children's medical issues.... that's if you have the energy :(
@PineapplePrincess I'm totally going with the fresh start way of things..... Sorry about the prgnancy test. Mine was the same. We've just gone ahead and DTD anyway but I'd sure as hell like to know when I'm ovulating which is near impossible with the spotting im still getting. I agree on the medical management front 90% seems unlikely.......

I was told a 3% chance of failure! Yeah reckon thats wrong.
1 week away was the soonest but to be homest I'll take that over a 3 week wait out. The procedure next week is not the surgical route, its a vavum procedure under local. Yeah it 'sucks' (vacum - sucks hahaha )

Hi Ladies,

It all sounds like you've got a lot going on!

@cleozeta sorry to hear it didn't work and you have to wait even longer. :(

I'm feeling more normal now and have started telling Family. I have some slight bleeding but not much. Just looking forward to my Hol the first week of June now!

I think a holiday is a good distraction, we have one booked in july and I am focusing on that.

I took a pregnancy test this morning and it's definitely getting lighter. I'm guessing thats a good sign?...

I took my first one this morning. One clear line and one faint line! :(

@Cleozeta, line getting fainter is definitely a good sign. Means less hormone in the body to detect.

@Michelle0507, same here yesterday. Hospital only gave me one test away with me and I don’t have any in the house. Not looking forward to going out to buy more! But now just want a negative test - which is a bizarre thought!?!

The Hospital told me not to test just wait a cycle so you know dates!
I bought 2 of the 3 packs from £ land a while ago.

Desperate for a negative which I guess a lot of people will never understand!

Isn't it weird how we spend months and months praying for a positive and now all we want to see is a negative. I felt really odd this morning being disapointed at the sight of a faint line on a pregnancy test. My brain is confused.
I still have loads of cheapo tests from before, so using them for now