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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Friend's insensitivity...am I overreacting

31 replies

ooooopsupsideyahead · 15/09/2017 22:57

i had a miscarriage a week ago. I had a terrible time with a failed medical management and a hemorrhage and I was rushed into hospital.

I had considered keeping it to myself (and my DH and close family) but on the day I had the medical management (prior to the hemorrhage obviously) I decided to text my friends and let them know what had happened because after discussion with my DH I realised that if they ever went through this then I would be able to help them.

Cue lots of sympathetic texts etc and then I hemoraged later that night and all hell broke loose.

Anyway, one of the girls texted me the next day along the lines of "oh dear what a shame. Btw I'm pregnant"

I still can't get my head around this. In my darkest hour she thought this was appropriate.

I'm just feeling awful about it. I think from
Her due date she was about 7 weeks when she texted me.

OP posts:
SuperPug · 15/09/2017 23:00

What a prize idiot.
For that reason alone, I wouldn't be friends with her. Don't let it fester- when you feel up to it, I would definitely mention how inappropriate she has been.

PurpleDaisies · 15/09/2017 23:01

No, you're not being over sensitive at all. She's had a total fail in empathy and kindness there.

She could easily have waited a week or two to tell you.

Sorry for your loss Flowers

Original poster
ooooopsupsideyahead · 15/09/2017 23:02

She had form for being a bit of a dick and this isn't the first time that she's kind of triumphed in someone's misfortune. I am really shocked that she could be so callous

OP posts:
KoolKoala07 · 15/09/2017 23:05

No you are not overreacting. What a horrible thing to do. I wouldn't be able to bite my tongue. She might have a bit more compassion if she were to go through the same. You have my sympathy op, I had 2 failed attempts at medical management in April and it was horrible.

Bimbop5 · 16/09/2017 03:24

What an asshole she is. That is totally insensitive.

TheLegendOfBeans · 16/09/2017 03:39

No way - she's a penis.

Don't confront, just don't engage x

diodati · 16/09/2017 03:59

No, you're not overreacting at all. Said friend is either stupid or incredibly unkind. Get rid!

So sorry for your loss. x

SandSnakeOfDorne · 16/09/2017 06:45

That's genuinely terrible. I don't think she's someone I'd want to keep contact with. Im sorry for your loss.

Original poster
ooooopsupsideyahead · 16/09/2017 08:12

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks she's a complete dick.

OP posts:
Cupoteap · 16/09/2017 08:35

What a bitch

physicskate · 16/09/2017 09:12

I would never ever speak to or respond to anything that non-human ever said or did again.

Does she have a medical condition like asbergers to help explain this??

I am so sorry for what you're going through.

FilledSoda · 16/09/2017 09:15

Jesus !!!
There are no words

Original poster
ooooopsupsideyahead · 16/09/2017 10:07

She seemed to think she had been doing me a favour by telling me and she had to get it off her chest. Like I said, she has form for being like this although never on his scale.

I've cut her off and won't be replying.

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 16/09/2017 10:09

Incredibly crass. Yes, block her.

KarateKitten · 16/09/2017 10:09

I would have texted back. 'Congratulations but do you really think this is the best time for that announcement'.

VioletCharlotte · 16/09/2017 10:13

What an arsehole. I think maybe say nothing for now as you're probably still ultra sensitive and not in the right place. But when you're feeling a bit stronger, I do think you should say something and explain how she made you feel. Was it a group message? If so I'm surprise one of the other girls didn't say anything.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've experienced miscarriage and know how you must be feeling Flowers

JigglyTuff · 16/09/2017 10:15

I cut off two 'friends' when they sat me down in a pre-planned meeting a couple of months after my miscarriage to tell me they thought that I was wallowing and it was about time I got over it

I haven't missed them because I realised they'd been a hugely toxic part of my life for a long time.

I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

cushioncovers · 16/09/2017 10:18

Don't respond and start to distance yourself and cut her out. She isn't a true friend. You aren't obligated to be friends with her. Sorry for your loss Flowers

SparklyMagpie · 16/09/2017 10:18

I actually can't believe a so called friend would do this

Good for you OP for deleting her out of your life.

I can't even begin to imagine how I'd feel having someone text me that

SparklyMagpie · 16/09/2017 10:19

I actually can't believe a so called friend would do this

Good for you OP for deleting her out of your life.

I can't even begin to imagine how I'd feel having someone text me that

SparklyMagpie · 16/09/2017 10:19

Also, I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

Original poster
ooooopsupsideyahead · 16/09/2017 10:20

It has transpired that I was the first person she told and has only told the rest of the friendship group in the last couple of days.

I truly don't understand it.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/09/2017 10:22

I get that she wanted to tell you first to give you chance to come to terms with the news, but it was the way she did it that was totally out of order.

AntiHop · 16/09/2017 10:24

She's not your friend. I'd never speak to her again.

georgedawes · 16/09/2017 10:27

Sorry for your loss. What a horrible 'friend'. I'd cut her off too.