Friend's insensitivity...am I overreacting

[ooooopsupsideyahead]

i had a miscarriage a week ago. I had a terrible time with a failed medical management and a hemorrhage and I was rushed into hospital.

I had considered keeping it to myself (and my DH and close family) but on the day I had the medical management (prior to the hemorrhage obviously) I decided to text my friends and let them know what had happened because after discussion with my DH I realised that if they ever went through this then I would be able to help them.

Cue lots of sympathetic texts etc and then I hemoraged later that night and all hell broke loose.

Anyway, one of the girls texted me the next day along the lines of "oh dear what a shame. Btw I'm pregnant"

I still can't get my head around this. In my darkest hour she thought this was appropriate.

I'm just feeling awful about it. I think from
Her due date she was about 7 weeks when she texted me.

[EEandEmakes3]

I cut off a supposed best friend after she insisted on sending me multiple photos of positive pregnancy tests when I had a loss. I was happy for her, but to receive endless pics made me realise she had no tact.

Cut her off and concentrate on looking after yourself, you'll come through this

[SleepFreeZone]

Hideous 😞 I've had a few well intentioned misplaced comments from friends. But I know they were genuinely well intentioned so I wasn't offended.

This reminds me a little bit of a miscarriage thread on here years ago where we were all supporting each other and I had just found out I had miscarried. I posted on the thread and then got a PM commiserating and excitedly telling me she was pregnant. Her pregnancy went ahead and I had to endure a further 2 miscarriages before I was lucky enough to find a good egg. All I can remember was I was parked up in Sainsbury's car park ramming cake into my mouth to try and block out the pain. Of course then I felt like a total failure on 2 counts instead of one 😬

I'm one week on now from TFMR. I was 17 weeks and had to push for surgical. If I try again though and I miscarry I am bracing myself for my first medical management. I think you are incredibly brave OP and im so sorry youve had to go through a loss and the associated physical and mental pain 💐💐💐

[TheBrilloPad]

Cut her off.

I had a miscarriage that went on for over a month & ended in surgery. It was my second miscarriage and floored me something close to depression. A few weeks after one of my very best friends sent me a snapchat of her positive pregnancy test with an "eeeeeek!" and an excited emoji. It was like a kick in the gut. She's otherwise lovely and wonderful and thoughtful, so I had to just move past it, but I couldn't fathom why some people can be so crass and insensitive. I guess if you haven't ever been through loss you just wouldn't understand.

[ooooopsupsideyahead]

I just can't understand why, while I was physically still miscarrying, she thought it was appropriate. At 7 weeks pregnant you'd think she would be keeping it to herself for a few more weeks and not rubbing it in my face

[SandSnakeOfDorne]

I suspect from her point of view she was saying, 'I am pregnant and not the right person to support you through a miscarriage at the minute'. And she forgot to think about how that might come across to you, i.e. As completely bloody awful.

[ooooopsupsideyahead]

Surely a bit of self reflection would make you think before sending a text? My decision is made to cut her off. I just can't quite fathom it though. I've wondered if I ruined her pregnancy announcement and perhaps this was annoyance on her part. I'll never know.