Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

homebody that’s shocking they just sent you the letter with the results with no explanation. That must have been really confusing/scary without any background context or reassurance. The good news (not exactly good news but you know what I mean….) is that chromosomal abnormalities are usually (in fact almost always) a random and spontaneous event and therefore do not indicate any underlying issue. Very rarely you or your DH may be carriers of a translocation which may be the cause, but this is extremely rare. My first two were chromosomal issues (different ones), just waiting to see if the third is. The karyotyping came back clear for both of us so we’re trying to wrap our heads around the possibility of 3x unrelated chromosomal probs in a row and how (un)likely that is….

sasha yes I was obsessed with light periods for a while. Mine lasted three days, only one of those had what I would call ‘flow’, the first and last day were very light. I mentioned it at every consultant appointment I had but no one was concerned. I had a scan at the RMC and my lining was 2mm after ovulation, which I queried and they again told me not to worry about. The consultant even directly said ‘you think the ERPC has removed too much lining don’t you? Well, that’s not possible’. But still I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Googling showed that in IVF cycles they will only transfer when lining is over 8mm, so how can it not be an issue?? Aaargh, even thinking about it now still gets me mad. Anyway, I did see some slight improvement in my periods over time, and with acupuncture and Vit E (800mg) and L’Arginine (100mg) every day. That link that flen posted referenced a study where Vit E and L’arginine was proven to work. And then I got pregnant. We’ll see what happens with next AF.

kazz by all means speak to your doc and see if he/she can run any tests sooner. Having to wait till October is so crap. It’s pretty rare for it to show anything up though.

spamminit good luck for your appointment, I hope it goes well and gives you some answers.

Hello bellende how lovely to hear from you. Thread babies really do give me hope. I’m in that dark place at the moment where I can’t see it ever happening, am convinced all my eggs are duffers. Did they ever find a cause for yours and were you on any treatment?

Good luck scan ladies xxxx

cloud not really possible as dps mum can just about lift a feather and dps step dad is having bad hip pain so its down to me and dp to do the lifting!

i wasnt bleeding heavily as such - it had just gone from a smudge when i wiped to more of a flow but seems to have stopped again today. The only really bad pain i have had since i delivered the baby was after me and dp dtd for the first time again... that seems to be normal from googline though.

for those of you who have indulged somewhat recently you made me gasping for a fag.. i have chain smoked the last couple of days and today i feel a million times better with no desire to smoke anymore. Theres something about saying fuck you to everything you 'should' be doing thats incredibly theraputic!

good luck for those with scans today x

Any scan news? Am keeping all my fingers crossed....

Hi monten I was diagnosed with low thyroid and was taking thyroxine. I did get pregnant stupidly easily. My suspicion is that I am super fertile and that perhaps embryos that weren't healthy implanted. It is only a theory tho.
It is so hard to keep going when you have no explanation, but there has been so little research into conception and pregnancy I am not suprised there are lots of unknowns.

Hi Ladies,

Was it Minnie and someone else had a scan today? Hope it went well. Been trying to catch up again but my mumsnet layout looks different like desktop view and I can't read it the same! Any ideas to help get it to mobile view?

Flen fab scan news I think I posted already but can't see it?!

I got my blood results back from St Marys but going to discuss with Mr Rai next weds. It looks like I'm a carrier of MTHFR gene? Googled it like you do and think it's meaning my body can't break toxins down? Or process folic acid? Guess all will be revealed next week!

emerald there's a tiny button saying mobile site right at the very bottom of the page usually

Just catching up a little bit

emerald the MTHFR thing isn't necessarily a worry. Something like 40 per cent of the population have a heterozygous mutation (ie one mutated thing - is it a gene or a chromosome? I can't remember) and that is of no consequence (I have this). If you have two mutated thingies that is more of an issue, but I believe they can help. Anyway, Mr Rai will explain I am sure.

sasha i am another member of the super light period club. A bit worried as bascally I had one day of quite heavy bleeding and otherwise just a bit of spotting, but I feel like my uterus is contracting a bit. Ho hum, just as long as it isn't perimenopause (which I bloody dread).

So, my youngest is now six and DH got out the old baby clothes the other day for me to get rid, but I really couldn't do it and the thought made me really sad so he put them back in the loft. I've even started wondering about getting a donor egg, though I am no sure how I feel about that yet. In the meantime I have upped the supplements, so am taking multivits, vit D3, coenzyme Q10, alpha lipoic acid, DHA (ie fish oil) and folate. I certainly feel healthy, but whether it is helping my eggs I don't know, and I have pretty much given uP the booze, let's hope it does the trick soon as is it not much fun!

Argh...if I have to change my password one more time I will scream! Defo need to join the fb group though I know I will prefer the thread.

Way behind, due to being away for a couple of days with rubbish reception, and things at home have been stressy/tricky/rocky.

Sorry therefore not to name check all...

cloud that is bloody brilliant! Half way!

flen great news, and fast headed for 12 weeks!

march good news for you too! Wish you didn't have to think about the sodding haematoma. Clearly not affecting the baby at the moment though. Is it a case of waiting until baby/placenta get big enough for the haematoma to become a non-issue? I can think of a couple of people I know who had the same thing, and bleeding too, and went on to have healthy babies - but I know that such tales have a limited level of reassurance when you are experiencing it yourself. Great to have another scan booked, and so far so good. Bet tuesday seems miles away but hope the time speeds by.

monten hang in there lovely.

Hope minnie and sun are ok post scans.

Just popping in to update on my scan for people not on FB. Not good news. Baby measured exactly right for dates (8+5) but had no heartbeat. Doc thought it must have died very recently. I'm sad and angry and fed up. It just feels like the end of the line now. I'm 41 in a couple of months. Booked in for medical management on Monday but am considering ERPC. Hospital want to run tests again so will be in hospital regardless. Just wish it would all disappear and I didnt have to do either. Feel old and useless and hate being fucking back to square one for the third time in a year. I've pretty much had enough.

I've already said this on Facebook but I really am thinking of you Minnie. big hugs.x

minnie I'm so so sorry to hear your sad news. It's late and I've had a bit too much wine so will write properly tomorrow. But just wanted to say - you have every right to feel like you've had enough, and maybe you have. But for now, just focus on the next few days. Just get through the weekend, we'll be here to hold your hand. This isn't the end,unless you want it to be. Happy endings can come. As Bellende says, it can turn on a dime. Big hugs for you tonight

Oh minnie, so very very sorry. Sending you a huge hug and sticking two fingers up at the world for doing this to you. It's utterly utterly utterly unfair, and shit. Take time and space yo get through these next days. X

Minnie I am so very sorry to hear your news. It's heartbreaking. I can absolutely understand why you feel just done with the whole thing. The relentless grief again, the process of medical management vs erpc, the waiting for test results, the deciding whether to try again...it's hell. I don't want to offer platitudes, when I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, but maybe deal with it one bit at a time. No rush to make decisions, but I have to say you're not too old and it's only over when you say it is. Sorry that you had to update on here as well as fb, and write it twice. Take care of yourself, and use us as a sounding board as much as you need to xxx

bootles just a little hug for the stressy/tricky/rocky stuff...

minnie thinking of you.

emerald the methyl folate + B12 is meant to help with folate absorption in MTHFR...

I'm back in. Turns out my new password wasn't long enough (might have been useful for them to explain the new requirements)

bootles, big hugs for a difficult patch. Hope it passes soon.

That's interesting emerald, do you know if its heterozygous or homozygous type? I'm taking folate rather than folic acid as well, like flen. Not been tested but it was a just in case thing.

minnie, monten and kazz, big hugs to you all through this shitty part xx

Minnie I'm so so sorry, it is just unutterably shit and unfair.

MrsDiddlydoo thank you! I'm back on the mobile site! Much easier.

Sasha and Spartacus I'm also a light/short period person, only one day of heavy bleeding this month really. I'm also hoping it's not pre menopause!! What does DHA and alpha acid do? I'm never sure if I'm taking the right supplements or not!

Minnie how are you today? Did you manage to get any sleep? I'm so so sorry again, it's just totally shit that you have to face this again. Sending you a huge hug xx
Bootles hugs for rocky patch too.

March I'm not sure which type it is? The hetro one I think? I've ditched the extra folic acid and going to get some folate and B12, but hoping I learn more weds. Good to hear it's probably not of any real concern anyway.

emerald. DHA is basically omega 3 I think, certainly it leads to fishy belches if you take it without food. Alpha lipoic acid might help egg quality, although study results have apparently been less than convincing. It's just a good antioxidant so I figure can't do much harm during my 4 months or so of attempting to improve my shitty eggs. Still considering trying DHEA, but I thinkI will give it a couple more months first as I don't like the sound of things with side effects.

monten how are you doing today? Things won't be tough forever, lovely.

sebs if you are reading, I hope the strangeness has stopped. Sorry the little arsehole hackers got to you. I suspect they have my old password too, as I found myself "logged out" randomly last weekend and had to log in. I kind of figure if they are that desperate to find out about my gynaecological woes then good for them. But then I've not had the weirdness.

The thread isn't loading correctly so can't see all the messages since I last posted but thanks to all that wished me luck for my appointment.

All tests for infections were negative. Jack's pathological assessment (visual not post mortem) was fine. X-ray showed normal bone development. No indication of genetic disability or any defects of any kind. Placenta was fine too.

So in a nutshell, we still do not have a reason but we know that he or I had no infections etc or disease.

With regards to the complaint I made avout the lack of aftercare, an apology from the hospital will be coming my way and the consultant read through it with me. They looked into all that I asked them too so I am happy.

In addition to that, the consultant has said that next pregnancy I need to see her at 8, 12, 16 and 20 weeks and will be scanned at each so no need for EPAU. The sonographers will then scan me at 24, 28, 32, 36 and 40 weeks. So basically scans every 4 weeks all pregnancy. I don't know about everyone else but having a scan really relieves me of panic and worry and there is no long wait feeling vulnerable.

I started smoking again after losing Jack after being quit for a year so my plan now is quit smoking, start taking folic acid which I have today, and then finish my pack of contraceptive pills and start trying.

I know I still don't have a reason and obviously I couldn't bare to lose another baby but I am feeling positive at the moment. Which is good.

spam, glad your appt went well and that the hospital have apologised for their almighty feck ups. Also pleased that there was no untreatable cause. I think it's sometimes hard to hear no cause but hopefully it gives you hope. That's great that they will scan you so regularly next time. Hopefully it will give you some peace of mind x

Big hugs spam I'm glad you're feeling positive. You need to take those good days and run with them I think!

I'm so glad it sounds like the hospital have listened and taken on board what you said. And apologised. That must be quite cathartic?

I'm sorry you didn't get the answers you wanted about why it happened. But it must be a comfort to know you'll be under consultant care next time. Once again I am blown away by the strength of the women on this thread. Very proud of all of us

Welcome rubber, although so sorry that you find yourself here. My last two mcs were early ones like you and it's so frustrating to get your hopes up and then have them dashed a few days later. But this is a new egg, new sperm and new lining, and every pg is different, so if you do get your bfp then hopefully it will be different this time. Have your other two mcs been recorded with the doctor? It would definitely be worth getting them recorded so that if you get to the stage of having testing (though hopefully you never will), then you will 'qualify'. Fingers crossed for your testing in the next few days