Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

Hand holding mrsC hope there's been no more x

Thanks ladies, I've felt so looked after today. No more so far but feeling a bit rough. Perhaps all just an aftermath of Thursday's stresses and driving. I'm not on progesterone (no treatment plan offered by my RMC except try again ) so I can't blame that... I'm booked for a scan on Friday so will see what happens tomorrow before deciding whether to try to be seen earlier. I've banned any talk of buggies etc as both times I've dated to have planning conversations, I've bled afterwards!!

minnie totally understand your fear, I still avoid foods/activities which I was doing around mc1 just in case they caused it but I'm sure the drops will be fine - the consultant would have said if risky, and a rampant untreated eye infection would surely do more harm? When my nausea faded I booked a private scan...

march I was in exactly the same dilemma and booked a scan for the day we go on holiday. I agonised about it but thought it was better to do all I could to go away reassured (for me and DH who has been hearing all my terrified ramblings!). It's a really personal choice. Hugs.

Thanks lovelies for making me not feel so much of a freaking out idiot! I know it's irrational really and the doctor wouldn't have let me use them last time if they were worried (they did cancel a different prescription when they knew I was pg) It just seems a bit of a coincidence but then I could probably find tonnes if I tried. Nausea has returned a bit this evening but not as badly. bumble I've had a few twinges and my boobs are huge! So you're right there are other symptoms.

mrsc glad you've had no more bleeding and you've got a scan sorted. Quite the week for scans next week- I think there's one or two people every day. Hope the bleeding had buggered off for good now.

Sorry not be around much. Had a proper wobble over the last two weeks as the overwhelmed feeling that I'm still don't have a date for the hysteroscopy, need to loose pounds gained since last mc, hate my job but can't change now if want to ttc again soon and a summer cold to boot. Feeling bit better after a chat with dh once I had calmed down and had my second session of acupuncture that seems to have sorted me out for now.
It's really rubbish when that feeling hits you from no where.

Sorry not to name check anyone, if I honest don't have the energy to read back over the pages I've missed but still rooting for everyone and promise to keep up going forward.

girlie I think we all take time out when we need it, and glad you have.

Hey girlie - i am in exactly the same position. I fucking hate my job now (a shame actually) but am traped. I am the main breadwinner and i want another child desperately. Even just now in the holidays my mind swings violently between thoughts of leaving work (and dh) and going to live with parents as a way out of my situation and trying to push it all down and just accept my lot. But the thought of one more year at school makes me want to physically be sick. To be honest it might just be worth jacking it in regardless as sods law is that i'll get pg the same month i make myself unemployed! Do they still have debtors prison? Do they send pg women there?!
One day i might just run away!

Freckle, it sucks being the breadwinner! I'm certainly the cliche late 30 something female who did what she was told by studying hard, going to uni and progressing with my career until I felt financially stable to start a family. I went to school with DH (although we didn't hook up until in our 20's) and he went straight from
School and has done the same job every since. If I had my time again I will be searching a high flying executive!

freckle I had that feeling sick at the thought of work thing a few years ago after a new head and a new deputy arrived and started clearing out teachers systematically so they could hire all their favourites from their previous schools. One very experienced teacher left pretty quickly and was replaced by an nqt who was the daughter of the head's previous boss, she also babysat his kids . I applied for other jobs and got out. The maternity rules state that you have to work for the same employer for x number of years (been so long since it was relevant to me I can't remember) but your 'employer' at most state schools is the LEA, not the school, so as long as you don't leave the authority any maternity allowance based on time served is not affected. I'm not sure if you're in an academy though? I'm guessing they might have different rules...

Main breadwinner here too. I like my job but 3x now I've planned to be on Mat leave and now not and that takes its till. freckle I also feel the desire to run away really strongly. If this doesn't work out I will run very far from here and go ride horses on a ranch in argentina or something.

mrsc I hope you're doing okay and the spotting stays away.

march it's a tough one, I've had the same dilemma myself. I would probably go for the extra scan. Do you have to decide now? I've found not deciding anything until I have to really helps.

Hello everyone else. I've had a nice evening drinking wine with DH in the park. I think I'm still a bit in shock. I can feel that old friend anger rearing its head. So fucking pissed off I'm back to square one.

if you leave or move to an academy, you're fucked, mat leave wise puts women in a v vulnerable position because you are appointed months before you start, so if you get pg in the interim, you don't stand a chance of accruing the 26 weeks, which you normally could do on a months notice.

0oo RAGE, i like that stage Monten! Do it Medusa style, with ice pole eyes, tongue of flame and a meat cleaver for an arm! So much more refreshing than the chocking, limping, feeling of loss!

I am not in a great mood tonight, if you havn't guessed (pre-warning of swearing and tmi so if you might be offended, please, don't read on).

AF is such a fucking bitch-faced cunting twat!!!!!Should be my last day today but am gushing like i just hit oil. Had a MASSIVE leak though my pants and trousers on day trip out with hd and ds to this big park land place. No tampons or towels - because i wasn't expecting to need them and i ended up having to use one of ds nappies for a towel and tie dh hoodie around my waist. FOR FUCKS SAKE, A FUCKING NAPPY! - And I think i have a prolapsed vaginal wall, which is not a sentence i ever expected to ever fucking write! I feel a slight 'bulge' downstairs and my tampons won't stay in. Possibly this is the result of a 5 day labour with ds and 3 mc in one year. My body is fucked, my brain is fucked, I really just want to cry and get very drunk on gin. I never thought i would feel so completely and totally 'over' at 40...

@DrSusanAyres #birthtrauma on twitter is conducting research in to the psychological aftermath of giving birth for city university. I have done her questionnaire but noticed that a lot of the answers would have been yes for after RMC, even though they were no post Scott's birth. I have suggested to her that post traumatic shock would be an interesting and valid area for research. If you tweet and agree, please can you also contact Dr Ayres? Maybe research would help the recognition of and therefore support given to women who experience MCs, esp RMC. Thanks.

I mean PTSD specifically associated with RMC, or even RMC or infertility activated by earlier birth trauma, as was touched on on this thread a couple of weeks ago.

Been locked out of mumsnet account - driving me crazy, am not even on the fb thing yet - was feeling very lost unable to post on here! Seems to work for now.

Loads to say but no time, am on way to work - main breadwinner here too, hate it.

Hugs to all, and am glad your dh is back today barking.

Not long til hubby home now barking! You've done so well to get through everything these past weeks on your own.

freckle big hug! Your work situation sounds awful. All this about empowerment of women being independent and having high-earning jobs can actually come back to bite us in the arse!! Are there any jobs in private sector where you could use your teaching expertise or any other experience you have? Or would even changing schools give you a break til you could look at something else? I know I'm not taking account of the effects on mat pay but could that be something that could be worked around if you could only get mat allowance for example? X

freckle big hug. That sounds shit. Re. Your concerns about the prolapsed vaginal wall - have you been to see a gynaecologist? Don't be tempted to self diagnose, that way madness lies. Im sure mine feels different at different times of the month. Def make an appointment if you're worried tho. And hugs, you aren't passed it. Your body has done some wonderful things and it will do many more. for getting the word cunting in there, sometimes only swearing will do.

Hello bootle! And boozle, how are you?!

So I'm testing to get a negative test. I can't get along with ICs, never used them before. Are they supposed to flood pink and then clear? Is it true that anything after 10 mins should be discounted? This is what it looked like after a couple of mins

And this is what it looked like after about 15. I would take the first as a neg but this as still a pos. Not sure what to believe

freckle massive hugs, what a shitty time. Agree it would be good to get checked out by a gynaecologist, you don't need any more worries on top of what you've already got.

just I had had very similar thoughts and if I ever do my MSc, RMC and trauma would be exactly what I'd look into, in fact, will be writing a blog post fairly soon on the topic... Will certainly look that woman up.

bootkes glad you found us again. How are you doing?

march what are you thinking about your scan quandary? I have no idea what I would do in the same situation. Very tricky decision for you.

monten a clinical supervisor of mine once told me there's hope in anger, I like this and it helps me get through rages. Hope you're doing ok.

barkkng today! He's back today! Bloody well done on getting through all the crap on your own.

And my query today is... Just reassure me that sex in the first trimester is perfectly safe would you?!

Sorry monten I think that is looking basically negative. I would go for the read in the first ten mins and not after.

Flen, sex?

Its fine unless you've been told otherwise.

Monten those tests are SO sensitive, they will drive you mad if you keep testing because they will pick up such minute amount of HCG. I was always told to wait until 6 weeks to test and you should get a BFN.

Monten, ime, on an ic, you can get an evap line after 15 mins but it goes once the test is completely dry, whereas a feint positive will remain. xxx

Re. Sex in pregnancy, yes it's safe, it can cause slight bleeding because of irritation of the cervix. I had loads of sex in my son's pregnancy and he was fine. With this one, because in so paranoid, we will not be having any sex at all the whole duration (well maybe right at the end )

flen atta girl! I did in first trimester with DD....

monten I'm awful with ics but would go by first one myself.

freckle I hear you, totally agree. Having some sort of escape plan is the only way I got through mc2, started applying for jobs. The pressure of being main breadwinner can feel acute but health and welfare are priceless.

barking today!! I'm envisaging you running across airport into his arms....

No more spotting here it horrid runs, and sore throat/headache. Went to bed before DD last night....