Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

monten cocodamol is a mix of codeine and paracetamol so cant be taken with paracetamol but can be instead of... as far as i can tell from google so dont take my word for it aspirin and codeine are 2 different things so you should be fine taking codeine or cocodamol... i highly highly recommend either for pain relief. Also codeine and paracetamol can be taken together if you are in lots of pain (hope that you arent!)

noodle welcome and sorry you're going through such a hard time. And sorry you have such a shit boss too. Some people are really pretty bloody useless when it comes to other people's feelings. I hope you get the support you need here. I'd also give the Epu a ring just to let them know what's going on.

monten I found with the natural mcs that period pain tablets worked well (feminax I think) and also codeine which is in the co-codamol but that has paracetamol in so don't take both! I didn't get any warning of when I was going to pass the pregnancy but I could tell when I did. With my mc3 which was medical management and much later at 12 weeks I definitely knew what was/had happened. I know medical management gets a bad rep mostly but for me it was the best choice. I was an inpatient for it and was given morphine which was fantastic and the staff were brilliant. I was terrified of an Erpc causing damage so I guess it was the only option I had as my body wasn't doing it naturally. Handholding lovely, as any option is hard as it's not the outcome you wanted xx

twilight definitely book it! You only live once and MC makes you put everything on hold which is so shit. Like the others have said if you get pg and need to cancel at least it's for a good reason. And if not you've a fab holiday to look forward to x

also if you are considering medical management (although mine was a termination i guess so not sure if its any different) it wasnt too painful and the actual procedure was okay - especially becaude i was an inpatient and felt so cared for.

it took 6 hours from the first pessaries and pills for the contractions to start, 20 mins of very painful of contractions then an hour for waters breaking, gush of bleeding, delivered baby, placenta and one clot and then just light bleeding. If you want the feeling of control with a natural mc i would recommend a medical - my tfmr was basically due to a death sentence but with no idea when the baby would die and mc/stillbirth so although its a different situation to you the thought of uncertainty of when the mc would happen was too much for me.

Cocodomol is good stuff. I took it when I perforated my ear drum. It can be addictive if taken for more than 3 days in a row.

I never passed a pg at home, but did have a menstural cast, which I passed at home and it was v painful, like really bad period pains, so bad I couldn't drive. But it was instantly better once it was out.

also i think having to pass the baby at home would have been too traumatic for me..

Hey monten - I found my bleeding just got heavier and then got to the point were I was having waves of contractions. At that point, for me the only solution was to camp out on the loo for a few hours while the clots and pg came out. Just so you are prepared, it's quite a wierd feeling - kind of like things dropping out of you with no resistance. It was definitely manageable though. Hugs lovely and hope it happens quickly for you. X

monten With both my natural (and, in fact, the medical) mcs, I had a gradual, constant increase of the pain (manageable with paracetamol, but def take cocodamol/ibuprofen, I kinda wished I had had something stronger), which reached a certain point, and then literally stopped from one second to the next. I even remember feeling a kind of 'pop', but this could be just my imagination. And then my body, without me doing anything, just seemed to relax, it was totally weird, but it seemed to know that that was it. The pregnancy tissues/baby then passed the next time I went to the toilet to do a no.2... Take a sieve, would be my advice, if you want to avoid having to fish it out of the loo! (You could try to just 'bear down', as they call it, ie. pretend you want to do a poo - if the mc is complete, that should get it out). I wrapped the tissues in a sanitary towel, put it in a Tupperware box and kept it in the fridge until I could take it to hospital. They managed to analyse the products with this.
Sorry for the tmi!

noodle sorry to hear what you have been through, welcome, I hope you can find some support here.

kazz sorry to hear you have bleeding

monton I am so sorry you're going through this again. Agree with bumble and march, all of mine have been natural and with all of them, the cramping kind of increased and came in waves and there was a feeling of increased pressure before I passed the sack. Pain pretty much stopped after that. Thinking of you

barking I am thinking of you as well, hope if you are in work it's been ok. Hugs.

Monten - cocodamol is fooking ACE. Oblitorates pain and kinda feels like your floating - like a southern comfort hangover! Airdale epu gave me three different types of pain killers, the third and strongest one i only had to take once when contractions were very bad. I've popped them in my first-aid box (yes, a rusty cupboard above the loo..) jic. The description March gave of natural mc was just like me. Waves of contractions. Actually, thonking back, the passing was very quick. The contractipn pains i got about 3 dsys later lasted longer and were more painfull. Maybe the uterus cpntracting back?

I won't ever work through another mc. I don't care if it's a week before A levels, i still havn't got my medals for working through the first two. Plus o will take time off to recover, instead of working till i was on the verge of a breakdown.

Oh my god, just been to the loo and passed tge sac. Like you described it just kind of plopped out. It's a clear bag the size of a walnut with a little umbilical cord attached. It's sitting in the loo now. I'm too scared to look at it again

I don't want to flush in case I want to get it tested. But I'm too scared to look at it.

monten Hugs! You can do this. Get a sanitary towel, bite your teeth and fish it out (wear gloves, if you have any, marigolds). Then in a Tupperware box and pop it in the fridge. You've done it now, it's over!

Will I see anything inside it cloud?

Monten, i don't know, but we're here, holding your hand. Can your dh get home to you? Your Mum? xx

Have a cup of sweet tea. I expect you're in shock.

I did it. Even after everything you guys have said I was not expecting it to be so....complete. I never thought about the amniotic sac. The only thing in it was a little blood clot. The umbilical cord was unexpected too.

I haven't managed to get hold of EPU yet so don't know if they will take it but it's in a Tupperware Box in fridge right now.

Thanks everyone. As ever, fuck knows how I would have survived any of this without all if you.

Oh Monten I'm so upset for you. Even though I know you knew it was coming, I don't think you can ever really prepare for it.

I agree you are probably in shock now, very sweet drink or a very stiff drink. Preferably both.

We are here for you xxx

Just a quick check in to say big hugs Monten. You were much brave than me. I couldn't look and to flush away, which is always something I have regretted. Plenty of tlc, hot water bottles and box sets for you x

monten, lovely, I had exactly the same with one of mine, a complete sac into the toilet, fished out with a deep breath and marigolds. Big hugs, its over now. Sorry I didn't mention that part before, may have helped for you to be prepared. Just wish I could come and look after you, it's a horrible thing to go through. I did feel alot of achy pain all over my abdomen afterwards, but thats definitely the worst bit over xxx

OMG Monten you are amazing. That's the one thing I didn't think I could deal with Holding your hand with everyone else, I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

Monten you've done so well, the worst of the practical side of things is now behind you . I hope you're able to take some time out and just look after yourself.

Thanks for all the thoughts everyone. Work was shit, really shit. Nothing to do with the job itself, just me being on the verge of tears all day, feeling like if anyone said anything to me about anything I might just start sobbing. Spent lunchtime hiding at the top of the staircase crying, and cried all the way home on the bike as I just wanted dh to be there to give me a hug . Doesn't help that there are two pg women in the office whose bumps are still at that stage where if they weren't showing them off with tight clothing I could tell myself they were just fat .
cloud I've got interviews and meetings lined up all week (as in I'm the interviewer) as well as my job development and pay review at the end of the week - would be very stressful having to contact everyone to reschedule and not the greatest move before my pay review!! I just need to get through this week. I'm guessing that being close to tears or actually crying all day will be the hormone crash now I'm off the progesterone on top of the grief at all three embryos resulting in nothing, and dealing with it all without a hug from dh :(. Argh!!!! Oh, and did I mention I've had a banging headache all day and I feel sick?
bring out the violins

Sorry, I just need to get through this week then dh will be home and I can snap out of it.

monten well done, you have done brilliantly. Biggest hugs to you xxx

barking think you're amazing for being back at work, the hormone crash plus the grief and disappointment sounds understandably intense. Have you got nice things in your evening?

Just checking on you all. I wish there was some magic wand we could wave to make everything ok again. To get excited over a new pregnancy instead of feeling fear and anxiety, to have the answers to why this happens, to be 100% healed emotionally and physically.
You ladies are all so brave, and I wouldn't have got this far without you all.

oh monten you brave thing have a sugary tea and a biscuit for the shock and hope you have real life hugs and support too xxxx

barking i am getting through work with an 'every second is closer to finishing' approach and mumsnet.... itll be friday soon! Feel like punching the wall, boss has just rang and will be late just wanna get home and in my pjs.