Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

monten - there is also a great thread somewhere on mn about the practicalities of mc naturally. It was started quite a while ago and certainly last year was still active. Definitely recommend having a look for some tips. x

Just love your cats name!

Sebs hang on in there xxx

Barking so so sorry it's BFN, but good to hear your friends have rallied round and given you good support. Big hugs.

Freckle glad you have given that fantastic brain of yours a break. Really think you should start writing, books, blogs (if you haven't already?) etc!

Sorry to all you lovely ladies suffering the shite symptoms we have to endure!!!

Oh monten I'm sorry it seems to be getting under way, it's hard not to keep hoping until the end. I've had two natural mcs both started at 5+1 and I passed the pregnancy at 6 weeks. Just spotting until the day before when it was like a heavy period. I was at work up till the day before for the first one and it was hard going. (But as it was my first I think I was in some sort of denial and just pretended in my head it was a period.) Do whatever you feel is right for you though. And just take care of yourself. Miscarriage is f*cking shit!

Sorry to hear your getting the bleeding Monten. I hope whatever happens, it's the right thing for you and it happens quickly rather than being drawn out.

I'm still bleeding atm. Trying to stay positive and hope it's just spotting but in all honesty I'm not hopeful. Feel absolutely crushed. Can barely look at DH as I can't bear to see the heartbreak / worry in his face.

monten with my natural mc at 7 weeks I spotted for a week then bled for a day before I had the day of pain and actually passing the pregnancy. It was like a heavy period after that day. Thinking of you lots.

kazz sorry you're still bleeding, so tough. Have you been in touch with epu or is it too early? Hugs

barking my lovely I have no words just oodles of love and strength being sent from here to you.

sebs so sorry you've had a scare, even if from different, um, exit... Can you reassure yourself with an extra scan? Hand holding, I understand the fear.

Waves to everyone else. Please don't all disappear to fb!

Hi Monten, if this is what you fear then i am trully trully sorry. I hoped this was it for you. Although remember, plenty people on here have had bleeding and it has been tickety boo. Unfortunately that is not my pattern. If i spot i knoe that's it. All three of mine have been natural mc and followed the same pattern each time. Progressive spotting for about two and a half days followed by extra heavy period bleading for two days during which 'matter' passed. Lots of clotting so ptetty much unaware when the actual sack passed (not really my deal to catch it and look at it, really by brain/heart could not manage that, prefer to stay blissfully unaware). Then crampy/heavy period for about a week. Even the third, which was a missed mc (i thought i was 11 weeks) followed the same pattern. I absoloutely would go to the epu because they will give you good pain relief and other support and it will go 'on the record'. I wouldn't go to work. Ignoring it/not acknowledging it made me deeply unhappy and extended the grieving process, for me anyway.

MrsC I phoned EPU today and they said all they can do is a hcg blood test and another in 48 hours as I'm only 5 weeks. I'm in there tomorrow anywhere for my response trial appointment so I'm going to get her to do my hcg levels then.

hi guys

i have been directed here by brummie after a pretty traumatic medical tfmr at 13+1 with my first pregnancy last thursday... I have a great supportive dp but i need some support from other women who have been pregnant and understand what that loss feels like.

obviously still bleeding atm so not trying again yet but even though this pregnancy was unplanned i feel so desperately sad that the future i quickly accepted as my own has been taken away from me and we both want to ttc as soon as we are able to... although the thought of being pregnant again terrifies me

i know i havent had recurrent miscarriages or technically even a miscarriage but have been advised you are a very supportive and welcoming group!

Hi Noodle so glad you found us. Even though I'm pregnant I'm still on here more than the ante- natal thread.

No one understands quite like others that have been through it. And these ladies are ace. We can support you and chat you through everything and just be here basically.

Hi Noodle so sorry for your loss, Brummie. sent you to s good place!! Hope you find lots of support here.

Monten so sorry you have this worry and the spotting. My first MC was natural and from first spots which were pinky, got chronic backache then just loads red blood about half day later. Another 12hrs on and after lots clots I passed the sac, was very early though 5wks. I was on holiday in Lake District our first day, just arrived with a friend and DP DS at lake Windermere and wanted the loo and there it was. Gutted is an understatement. We were advised that as pg with bleeding we should head to nearest a and e. So we did and I spent night in there alone at Barrow in Furness hospital. Was a very dark/bleak time. Maybe you could go a and e if no luck at EPU? My two MMC spotted for few days before ERPC and were brown. This whole MC thing is just so shit.
We are now on forced break while having tests, but like someone else said, it's really actually psychologically good for me too and I'm calmer and not as worried so guess that's a good thing to have that break.
Waves to everyone hope we all have a good week.

Kazz good luck for tomorrow I hope your levels pick up again

Sorry to hear the bleeding has started monten. Massive hugs for you xx
It's really hard to say how quickly things will go. With my natural mcs, they were all done in about 4 days, but the two i had medical management for both took longer (despite the drugs ). I really hope you make it to the erpc if that's what you want. I would probably skip work. A few of mine I've been in work when it started and it was horrid. But everyone's different, so do what feels right. If you do need to catch things then, horrible as it is, i think it's worth trying to do this. I did it for mc3, and although it was a truly horrendous experience, i found for the actual collection bit that i was quite detached as i knew that's just what I needed to do. The hard bit was getting to the hospital with it sitting in my bag, knowing that it was there. And handing it over. I would phone your epu and see if they will see you earlier. If you've started bleeding then chances are a scan will be fairly conclusive now. I also heard of someone being offered medical management as an in patient, which might be an option if you wanted to have the testing but avoid the erpc. So sorry this is happening to you. Just heartbreaking x

Monten - how're things going today? I hope you managed to get a decent nights sleep.

Barking - thinking of you my lovely. It's just not fair.

Welcome Noodle and really sorry to hear what you're going through. MC is always such a horrendous shock but more so when you've had good scans. I really identify with what you've said about the loss of the future you'd been planning. You're absolutely more than welcome here - I think there's also a good TTC after mc thread in conception once you've got yourself in to that headspace. Don't overestimate the idea that the next pg may be unsuccessful by being on this thread though - the huge likelihood is your next pregnancy will end happily and healthily. For now though lots of tlc required.

I have a question guys. I've been invited to do a month travelling in Central America with a group of friends in Feb 2016. I don't think I can go as I don't know where I'll be in terms of pg/mc at that point, but at the same time I'm getting increasingly bitter about missing out on things for that reason. Is there any way round it? I.e insurance companies that would refund in the event of a high risk pg and being advised not to travel etc?

Sasha that crazy hormone crash on day 2? Oh my god. Yesterday was awful :(

So glad the weekend is over...

Hope everyone else doing okay, esp Barking, Monten and Kaz.

Welcome Noodle x

Can I ask, those under the care of Coventry? Were you referred by GP? Do you have local consultant?

I have been referred to a local NHS consultant (advised my appointment should be in next 2-3 months). I don't want to waste any time. Would you advise NHS care alongside private testing - or full private testing?

I am not sure what to do for best. Undecided between Cov and Dr Shehata...

Patience, you can self refer to Coventry, book your appointment via Kerri - email on the sheet at the top of the thread.

Monten, hope you're OK? I remember carrying a Tupperware in my bag for a week after #3. The bleeding started mid week, but I made it to NY erpc on the Friday. if it does happen beforehand, store it in saline, and if you do take it to a&e, don't let them store it in formaldehyde... that renders testing impossible. Sorry that's grim... thinking of you.

Hi Patience. You can self-refer to Coventry. You have to wait two AF post MC and then phone them up on the day you ovulate for an appointment 7-10 days later. I'm not sure about pros and cons of Cov verses Dr Shehata. I went with Cov because it was cheaper and because the test was a uterine scratch as opposed to a blood test (not that I had much understanding of what the difference was!). Hope you're doing alright.

*my, not NY!!!!

twilight fuck it and book it! Sounds amazing! Would it be a road trip or travel by rail/air? I'd work out how far along you'd be if you were to catch next cycle. They say 2nd trimester is best to travel. Not sure about insurance for high risk pg, definitely worth looking into. Is there someone that could go instead of you had to cancel so you'd only have to pay yo change names?

Welcome noodle! I felt very much like I'd lost my future with mc1, I'd pictured so many things, even planned and nearly bought furniture for DS to move out the nursery. My mum had also bought a double buggy from a closing down sale (don't even know if she still has it). So sorry for your loss You'll find lots of support here. Xxx

patience I've never been under a consultant as I've 'only' had 2mcs so never gone through rmc. I just booked coventry myself and gp then sorts meds (after getting agreement from a consultant)

monten how are you this morning? Both my mc were natural, but they both took weeks to complete (6-8 weeks). epu weren't interested unless it was heavy blood loss - defined as soaking through more than a pad every hour.

twilight I've looked into this quite extensively over the last 4 years!! As long as you book the insurance when you book the trip, and you check that pregnancy is covered within that insurance (not all, but there are plenty that do), you are okay. You'd just need a letter from your doctor advising that you shouldn't travel.

I'm back at work and struggling not to cry. I can't actually believe we've got to the end of this nhs journey including 6 rounds of clomid, 2x iui, 2x ivf with three embryos, and we've ended it with no bump or baby . And people everywhere are getting accidentally diffed .

patience my situation's the same as bumbles. I had a few problems getting meds from gp but got there in the end. If we could have afforded to go fully private we would have after 2 mc. Turns out for me Coventry has worked well.

Thinking of you this morning monten

twilight the trip sounds amazing. I'd be tempted to go for it... Sod life and putting things on hold and if you end having to, well... That would hopefully be for a good reason.

Be kind to yourself barking and I hope you get through the day. I find trying to get through an hour at a time instead of a whole day sometimes helps me when I'm feeling most broken.

Twilight I'm with you on the putting off doing things/missing out. I'm fed up with putting my life on hold.
I'd book it, go and have a fabulous time!!

Patience I was told there would be a long wait for my NHS RMC appt. I called the secretary directly and asked to just be contacted immediately if there was a cancellation and got in a week later. The amount of cancellations on the NHS are mind blowing!!

Welcome Noodle I'm so sorry for your loss, in credibly difficult for you especially when it's past 12 wks. I had a mmc at gone 12 wks, foetus hadn't grown past 7 wks. Miscarried naturally but it was my worst natural miscarriage experience out of the 4 I've had. Big hugs and speedy recovery. Xxx

monten how are things this morning? Mc 3 was a natural one for me. Bleeding started, spotted for a couple of days, then very heavy bleeding with clots and passed the sac. I found the pain manageable. As march says, getting results by collecting the products is really so helpful, though I know how horrible it is to do. I used a sieve, and put the products in a clean jar in the fridge overnight. I agree that handing the jar over was harder. Sorry to say any of this, just thought it could be useful IF you find yourself in that position and able to go down that road. Huge hugs to you. I think calling epu is a good idea, see what they can do x

kazz sorry to hear you are bleeding, really hoping things are still ok.

noodle welcome, and so sorry to hear of your loss. My 2nd loss was a tfmr at 13 weeks. It is awful to get to 12 weeks and have the shock of something being wrong, and having to make that utterly heartbreaking decision. There are others on here too who have experienced the same. You are very welcome to stay, but ARC may be useful too - Ante natal Results and Choices - a forum for those who have experienced similar. Please don't be disheartened by our histories on here (many consecutive losses). There is every liklihood that your next pg will be absolutely healthy and normal. Big hugs for this difficult time x

twilight tricky one! Maybe get sods law going and book it...sorry, not much help in terms of practical advice there!

Bleeding is heavier this morning. Absolutely gutted. Can't see how this can just be do spotting as it's now like a period.

The hardest thing is seeing DHs face. He looks absolutely destroyed.

Going to phone up my trial nurse at 9 but in my head I'm already thinking 4mcs. Where do we go from here?! I kind of want to know now if vivas on the drug or the placebo for the trial but know i can't find out.

Suggestions of possible paths and ways forward would be appreciated. In my head I'm thinking Coventry but welcome any suggestions. The one thing we do have on our side is that money isn't a problem and we will spend anything needed.

Twilight I'd book it and go! Just get the good insurance, it's the trip of s lifetime!

Barking you've done well to get to work today, take it easy and I hope it provides a distraction of sorts. Who knows what's around the corner, you've been through so much. Big hug.
Thinking of Monten and Patience today too