Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

Hope you managed a good nights sleep barking.
Thinking of you barking, monten and patience

Flen I'm a 90 degree-er too (clexane).

minnie sorry I got your details wrong before, think I put 18mths to conceive DS...sorry if I caused any upset.

Since butterflies were mentioned on here Ive been seeing a few white ones in the garden, lovely! Also saw bats in the garden the other evening which were cool!

bumble I saw a Gardeners World (yes I actually watch Gardeners World) that the White ones are called Cabbage whites and they are in season right now. Which might explain it but who cares, I still believe

march I agree with you about this thread. We must try and keep it alive, it would be such a shame if any newbies had nowhere to go. We should mention it on the stats page at the beginning of the next thread too.

Oh dear, my cat Bolivar loves catching butterflies... he won't bother a mouse, but he's always eating butterflies on the carpet He is good for despatching spiders, though.

monten I thought they were called cabbage something but thought I'd made it up as it's quite random (and I'm very rubbish with names of wildlife)

I'm up for continuing on here. the Facebook page is nice to have chats with individuals but I prefer this for chatting to the group as a whole.

Plus this and the Response thread have become my lifeline. Before I found the app I had a proper panic when I lost the threads and couldn't find them. I hope that I can give that support to others down the line

Send your cat over Just. in spider season! Mines no good with spiders. Does like mice though!
Is the App good? I'm just keeping this open on safari, too scared of losing you all!

Totally agree that this thread needs to continue, for the benefit of newcomers and those who are not frequent users of fb. There may be many lurking too, who find us helpful.

monten and patience thinking of you too, yours are also weekends to get through. Here to listen. Or understand too if you prefer to step back. Meant to say that bit to barking too xx

bumble no worries at all. You had a pretty good memory to remember in the first place

I agree we need to keep the thread going for the newbies especially. It would be really sad to see it disappear and people miss out on this fab support.

Thinking of you barking patience and monten I just wish everyone could get what they want without all this bloody awfulness xx

I am also going to keep both threaf and fb, but i think i'll probably update and respond more here. I like the way it is as if we are in a circle here and we all hear each other and can respond to each other. fb page is as if there is lots of idividual threads - i'm finding it harder to keep up. It's nice to have it to refer to, to see who people are, but i'm going to keep it as a side-line.
Re: conception. I in a funny place right now. ds was concieved 1st month 'trying' (when i'd figgured out the day i ovulate was day 18, not 14). Next pregnancy was 1st month trying when ds was 10 months but was mc1. Had 1 period and got pg next cycle with mc 2. Had period and got pregnant next cycle again - this was mc3. So, for four pregnancies i got pregnant 1st time properly trying. Now i've done 3 months properly trying and nothing. I was so disheartened mid july that i havn't taken the supliments since, or been to accupuncture. And we weren't able to dtd at ovulation this month because were were 4 hours away from each other! However, these two weeks have been such a welcome break to the 2ww. All that obsessing, the mind games i play witj myself, hoping, and crushing the hope daily/hourly is so exhausting. It's been really nice to habe a bit of distance - a holiday from it all in my brain really. I didn't plan it, but it's worked out as a positive break for me this month.

I'm really glad the break feels positive freckle, I felt the same way about deciding on having a break, it was psychologically a Very Good Thing. For me and conception first time was accidental (which is MENTAL when I think about it now) second and third on the second cycle and this last time on the eighth cycle (although three of those were months off). I was starting to get worried this time round, not sure the opks helped me...

I'm really glad you've found the break from the routines and stressing helpful freckle. I was worrying about how you were feeling this month but it's nice to hear you sound relaxed. Although i hated then at the start, afterwards i found that the enforced breaks I've had were my calmest times. It all gets a bit much sometimes. Hopefully your laid back (no pun intended!) Will work x

I'm also finding the fb more difficult to follow so will probably use here more, but it is great to see who everyone is and have a place to post anything secret

Sending out hello to everyone on the thread. Hugs to those having a tough time ATM x

I've had a very scary afternoon where I thought I'd had a bleed and then realised it had come from the other end when id had a cheeky fart

I know it sounds funny and gross but I'm so scared now and can't shake the feeling this pregnancy is going up end. I don't know how I'm going to see this through another 26 weeks without having a total breakdown.

Forest thanks for sharing what you are feeling right now. We are trying again now! I explained lots to DH about how rare it is for them to find something with the blood tests and also he knows how much I want to keep trying. 100% out this month though. I'm positive I ovulated early (Friday) but we didn't DTD until Saturday (yesterday). It so hard ttc when you work mega long hours and both have stressful jobs. It doesn't really get you in the mood when you get home from work!

I wanted to say thank you to whoever explained what a butterfly baby is. It really made me sob for a bit which felt so good as I find it really hard to cry sometimes. I wish I could cry easier and then I think I would be able to cope more with the losses. I try to be strong and bottle my emotionals but then if I properly have to talk about it I just get a huge lump in my throat and can't talk. A private doctor we saw asked if I had thought about grief counselling and I couldn't even get the words out to say no.

I'm so sorry to monten, barking and patience that are having really tough times at the moment. It is really heartbreaking what you are all going through. It has been 4 months since our last mc and there isn't a day I don't think about it but I do feel stronger.

Please please please don't let this thread stop!!

From my experience of the fb thread that goes with my other thread on here (infertility) the thread carried on as normal, but when people need a quicker answer, more immediate support, or want to share something they couldn't/wouldn't put on a 'public' forum, they use fb.

And I can read my mn app at lunchtime, at work, while I don't go on fb unless I'm at home.

I'm sorry, I'm still not up to replying to everyone individually, normal service will be resumed shortly...

One more week until dh is back.

My mates have been amazing this weekend. I've had company at all times I've needed it apart from first thing Saturday morning - but it was probably good to let it all out then anyway.

I was considering having the counselling on offer at my clinic, but actually I think the benefit of the counselling might be outweighed by the distress caused by going back to that hideous building past the maternity ward and smoking mothers.

Barking, glad you've been well supported. It might be worth feeding your comments about returning for counselling back to the clinic. I'm not sure they could do anything about it, but I think they should know how traumatic the actual location is for you.

So I've started bleeding. Brown blood, not loads but more than spotting. My thoughts have flowed as follows:

1. weirdly pleased. My body has never realised what has been going on before. This rather oddly feels like progress.

2. distress when I realised if this happens naturally I wont be able to test the fetus. I know you can 'catch' the products but I don't think I'm up to that.

3. sad that this definitely is over. You always have a little bit of hope, right?

I'm not sure what to do. Just wait I guess? Do I go into work tomorrow? I'm most worried about this dragging on and on. If it happens naturally I just want it over with. Any experiences of how long it takes to get into full flow?

Oh and homeboddy I'm with you on the crying being a relief. It actually feels really good sometimes. It's when they crying stops I find hard.

I definitely prefer chatting on here to fb for some reason, but will keep on with both, although finding it hard to keep up x

Big hugs Monten you're being very brave. My one and only natural mc took 6 days from first bleeding until the actual mc passed (if that makes sense) think everyone is different so may be quicker or longer. Assuming nothing major has happened in the meantime, could you ring epu in the morning and see if they could get you in asap to do the eprc if that's your preferred option? Also in terms of being practical, have you got any pain relief to hand in case it does happen much quicker? For me last mc once I did have some bleeding I couldn't risk going to work as couldn't facd having the mc in the toilets having gone through it once before.

monten I hope the spotting doesn't mean the end for you this time but I understand feeling weirdly pleased if your body is doing it itself. In my mc I've generally started bleeding more steadily and heavily 48+ hours after starting to spot, but I think every pregnancy and the everybody is likely to be different. My losses were around 10 and 12 weeks.

patience how you doing this weekend? Hope you're surviving...

Met a lovely little girl due to start school in Sept who was born at 27 weeks today. Miracles really do happen sometimes.

Oh and monten don't go into work if you don't feel like it assuming that works for you. Could be a useful distraction thou

Hi monten - sorry, I can't remember how many weeks you are - is it 8? I haven't had a natural mc at that point. Had one at 11 weeks but fetus died at 7 ish. With that one I had very sporadic spotting for about a week, then became heavier and more period like for about 12 hours, with what felt like period cramps before I got to the stage of passing the pregnancy. That was full on bleeding and contractiony cramps for about 3-4 hours but for me was bearable without any painkillers. I actually found the easiest way to deal with it was just to sit in the loo for that few hours, with dh bring me cups of tea on demand. Hot water bottle helped too. Tricky to know about going to work. If you aren't too far from home I guess you could go in if you feel it would help you and then just come home if it starts to get heavy. You definitely want to be at home when you pass the pg though and if possible to have someone with you looking after you. Hope it happens quickly for you lovely. xxx

monten sending you a big hug here. I miscarried naturally with mc2 but unfortunately it took about 2.5wks from spotting to passing it. I was 6 wks when it started but the sac was empty and only measured 4.5wks. It seems my body is very slow! Hoping this isn't the case for you. Thinking if you x

monten I'd definitely ring epu just to let them know what is happening. They might be able to give you stronger pain relief, and monitor you. I don't want to scare you, but they need to know in case you have any problems with bleeding etc. Look after yourself and just do what feels right. They're not going to think you silly for calling.

I'll stay on here and fb too, don't know what I would have done if not for you lovely ladies.