Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 21 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[Justonemoretime]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Mrs I know what you mean. We haven't even started trying yet and I'm thinking about the impact of potential mc number 4. Crap isn't it

Freckle I think I feel a bit better today - haven't been sick since early yesterday morning so that's a good sign
Got a lunch today so glad I'm feeling better although probably too delicate for vino

Baking and Tanny so glad to hear Faith and Bertie are doing ok

Sebs I get you, fair enough. Wait and see what happens

Purple blimey not long to go at all!! Love seeing all these success stories - glad mini Bunny is doing well too!!

Hope you all have a good Sunday - hopefully I won't throw up during lunch xx

Argh, I dug out the second test from it's hiding place and tested. It is still a squinter but marginally darker than yesterday, BUT it was FMU this morn and yesterday it wasn't.

I have been here so many times before and I know AF will turn up tomorrow but fucking hell I so want to be pregnant again even though I'm on the brink of testing which is what I want to do. I am such a contrary cow and I want to punch my own face

• brink of Coventry testing

Well done to pop and diddly meeting newborns, must be very very hard and you've both proved yet again how strong, resilient and just plain lovely you both are.

brummie sorry you've been ill, hopefully you've seen the last of it now and lunch will feel ok.

sebs don't beat yourself up, I'd do the same. What about calling gp/epu to see if they can check hcg? Not sure how one reading would help tho, so it'd mean more waiting and stress...

Sounds like a few of you would like to meet which is great. Could you all pm me if interested and I'll try organising a date. Ta x

Sebs if I were you I'd call the epau at hinchingbrooke tomorrow and get them to check your hcg levels this week to see if they are rising. Explain you had the ERPC, and didn't test negative as you didn't see the point in wasting tests, but that you have now taken a couple of tests and think you may have fallen pregnant again and if you are pregnant that you want a prescription for progesterone and heparin immediately. Quote that it's the protocol coventry uses, and Mr Watts at Worcester and you want to do everything you can to give your next pregnancy every chance of success. If there is any chance you do need either medication, the sooner you start the better, although I think coventry might wait until a scan at 5-6 weeks to rule out ectopic before they start heparin.

Loopy honestly the tests are squinters, they hardly photograph, I think it's me being silly and hopeful. If they were proper faint lines then I think I would do as you say but I have had these kind of 'lines' with ICs before and they aren't real. AF comes along as expected a few days later.

I'll add a photo so you can see what I'm talking about but I won't be offended if you cannot see a thing!

Would help if I attached them!

sebs I can definitely see the lines. After my erpc I was showing positive 7 weeks after but I'd had no signs of ov and had relatively long cycles anyway so really hope this is a bfp for you xx

Well done for getting through seeing new babies this week too for those that have done that. barking hope you got on ok too.

catlover thanks for letting me know, we're just deciding when to start ivf - I've got pg naturally twice and once with iui so I know I'm lucky in some respect but it has taken ages in between. Thinking we'll give 2-3 natural cycles now following coventry and then start if no luck.

Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the weekend xx

I admit I can sort of see something but I have to squint. This is why I use digital ones, as I have to admit as the stress of trying to decipher a line is far too stressful

Why don't you go and get a frer or a Clearblue Sebs? I agree with Loopy though I'd be straight on the phone to EPAU asking for progesterone.

You won't get heparin yet as you have to have a scan at 5/6 weeks

It's stressful though. I admit now I've got this far and will be ready next cycle I'm ready to start again. But way back then, I couldn't even imagine waiting this long - I was desperate to try again

Well AF is due imminently so I think this will answer the question of whether to ask them to test HCG. I'm seeing the consultant on Thurs so can ask the question then if the situation stays murky. Personally I think once AF gets here and washes away the lining once more the tests will be totally clear.

I can definitely see lines. Don't even have to squint. Don't find digital helpful as they always come up with negative but you don't know if it's just too early. Anyway you know it's detecting hcg, you just don't know if it's rising or falling. More waiting. Agh, everything crossed for you sebs. X

Oh god it's here and it's awful.

I'm a wreck. Beyond myself. I can barely breath for sobbing. Since coming back from my week away with DH, the last couple of days I've seen my ability to cope reduced to a couple if hours at a time. I can't possibly function at work like this.

After the last mc I had weeks off with anxiety and the energies I out into returning to work were hurculean. It was the hardest thing and I was so proud if myself for getting through it. Now here I am with even that small achievement washed away to nothing. And for what?

I'm burning through my sick pay. And at some point that will run out and then we'll really be stuck. Is there no end to this misery?

My poor mum is trying to be helpful but I'm resentful because I felt that after the last one she started to apply subtle pressure that I should return to work and I felt she was doing it again today. Which is not fair on her. Because as soon as she saw how badly I was coping she changed her message.

OK, be calm. I knew this was coming and this dip is inevitable. It does not mean I will be off for weeks. Only that this week is too soon.

If the worst comes to the absolute worst, I'll ask my employer to demote me as I'm sure I could cope with a job with less responsibility. OK fine so the worst case scenario is I get demoted. I can deal with that.

When will this pain stop?

MrsD congratulations! Very hopeful here for you xxx

Sebs, those are definitely lines, and if the bottom one was the one you did today, I think you might be upduffed. If you mc really early I would really really push for an early scan to locate the sac and then start heparin straight away. I think that made a real difference to me, and I had my scan at 4+3. I have everything crossed for you and it being a bfp. If not, then on to Coventry! Xxx

Thanks for everyone asking after Bertie. He is doing well, gaining weight, even if the health visitors think he is an odd shape (tiny head and very long body), he is perfect to me. Every morning I check he's breathing and several times during the night and remain thankful and amazed that he is here.

Counting, oh god I'm so sorry. I can identify so strongly and you have made me cry with your raw pain. Now is not the time to make any decisions about work or life. You need time, no matter how your employer takes it. You are going through shit.

We're here for you. Big big hugs xxx

mrs congrats and i'm rooting for you.
tanny lovely to hear from you, pleased Bertie is doing well. Enjoy feeling amazed.

Thanks tanny. It's horrendous down here and it does help to read your post.

counting hugs xx I really struggled after my molar pregnancy, couldn't stop crying and certainly couldn't cope with work. Give yourself some time and I agree with tanny now is not the time to make any decisions xxx

Seb crossing everything for you

Great to hear Bertie is doing well Tanny

DH is making me go baby shopping today but I'm not looking forward to it, still feel like I'm going to jinx things but I have less than four weeks and no cot, crib, car seat or anything. We have compromised so car seat and crib but DH not to pick it up until after ELCS. He thinks I'm nuts( I probably am )

Waves to everyone xx

So sorry the grief has hit you now counting. This is all so unfair. Try not to worry about work at the moment. You need as much time as you need and you can't rush it. They can't penalise you for being off sick with this. It shouldn't come under ordinary sick pay. But to be honest the last thing you need to be thinking about is the details of this.
Get yourself cuddled up on the sofa with your dh and let the tears come. Sorry i can't remember, are you coming off progesterone as well? If so, that could be making you feel worse, so it's important to know that, and if so, it should normalise in a week or two.
You are strong and you will get through this, but in your own time. Glad your mum has softened how she is reacting to you. Massive hugs

So sorry it is hitting so hard counting it's just awful. Take as much time as you need, I really think you should take next week off work too. We're all here for you, keep posting as much as you need to. And get lots of cuddles from DH. Thinking of you xxx

sebs can see both lines without squinting and the bottom is def darker.

Good luck with shopping purple

Glad to hear little bertie is doing well tanny!

counting hugs and more hugs. I agree with tanny. No decisions now. Unfortunately sick pay rules aren't affected by it being pregnancy related but anything disciplinary relating to sickness shouldn't count. But don't worry about any of that. It can't be helped. The important thing is getting through however you can. Keep posting if it helps.

AndCounting I'm so sorry. I know it's easy to say, but work really is insignificant to what you are going through right now. Its so hard, but you have to come first and it can't be rushed. Big hugs to you, will be thinking of you.

counting so sorry that you're having to go through it. Huge hugs from here too. Keeping talking and think about you, not work. At this point you need to think about getting through the days without worrying about work. Xx

sebs can definitely see the bottom line so if that's today it's getting stronger. Hope af stays away and it keeps getting stronger. And re. what to watch next, breaking bad is fab!

mrsd completely get the fear (I've not started Ttc yet but am already thinking how I'd survive mc4!) but remember today you are pregnant! Well done on meeting your neice too- seeing newborns is really hard.

march thanks for the info about HCG and prog. Sounds very similar then except for helping the lining, which with two of my MCs being early maybe I need.

pop glad you're meeting with your friend was lovely. I spent the afternoon with my newly pg friend and she was great too, even asking questions about the MC and what's going on. You know they're good friends if they get it don't you!

purple hope the baby shopping went well and wasn't too stressful once you got into it.

We have just joined now tv to get GoT without paying for sky. Was 15 quid for three months.

counting I can totally relate to that wave you are feeling, it is so horribly intense. Hang on in there. We are all here when you need. Just do moment to moment for now until the wave eases. Hugs xxx

sebs looks darker to me too. I would be doing another FMU one tomorrow and comparing with today. My post D&C tests showed positive for a while too, and I had retained products, odd unexpected bleeding etc. On the phone to the EPU with you.

Thanks, angels.
I managed a couple of hours at a friends house this avo. Left in haste as the sobs were coming but she understands. Back to being a wreck. You are all right re:work. If I'm not well I can't go. It's as simple as that.

Thanks for reminding me about the progesterone, march

purple, hope your shopping went well.

sebs fingers crossed for you. Your poor head.