Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 20 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[barkingtreefrog]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Hi everyone - I am a lurker on this thread - I have been on here far too long but stopped posting. I do read once in a while and just wanted to say that I do believe there is evidence for rmc after first born male child. Have a read of this paper.
hmg.oxfordjournals.org/content/18/9/1684.full.pdf

I was found to have three of the HY restricting alleles and really believe this is the cause of my recurrent mcs.

Wishing you all the best of luck on this journey!

Thanks bootles I appreciate the explanation. I think we will wait (although I worry it'll be too long as I seem to take 3 months after mc to conceive again or absolutely months!) I think I need to know I might be able to stop another mc happening either through results of tests or through a just in case protocol. I guess I'll know better once I've been to my local rmc.

Thank you all for your lovely supportive messages. I'm hiding under a duvet because I don 't want to go to the hospital tomorrow and it all to be over and things will fall apart again.

I never imagined I could be this unhappy. It's all so awful and it won't end and things are probably going to get worse before they get better. . It might be OK.

barking I'm so pleased you have 8 eggs. That's a basket full.

bootles thanks for typing up the notes in detail, it's really interesting. I have got to get myself to Coventry.

Well done return-to-workers. All the best over the next few days.

Thanks again you lovely lovely angels. I know you will be with me at 2 pm tomorrow. Good night.

Good night counting hope you manage to sleep. Best of luck tomorrow, we are all with you in spirit.

Bythesea, think it was you who wished me luck - thank you.

Only recently realised that Boozle and Bootles are two different people... Bootles, what time were you at Coventry? I was 1.30pm. I also saw Prof Brosens and he said the same thing about boys - that it may be evolutionary. And some cells may remain in your body after having a boy, even in your uterus and this might cause future miscarriages. I still don't really understand why that would only happen with boys though? He did say that it's not as simple as your immune system rejecting the fetus, if that were the case we'd suppress the immune system of everyone who has had RM, but this wouldn't actually work?
He also said that sometimes the most important thing is persistence, because the egg and lining changes every time.
He picked up something i've heard elsewhere about conceiving quickly being a factor in RM. I think he said if you always conceive quickly it can be because there is almost no quality control of the egg? At least I think that's what he meant...

I was a bit rabbit caught in the headlights today (or the spotlight/stirrups - don't make the same mistake as me and assume there's no need for a proper 'tidy' because it will be dark). So not sure I asked everything/took it in.

Very short update. My beautiful gorgeous cat passed away today. He was so old and was struggling so much. We arrived home and found him lying by his bed. Already lost 1 cat this year - which was a family cat, but this one I rehomed from RSPCA 15 years ago. I was by myself for a long time before DP and it was just the two of us. Curled up on sofa watching telly. Me and him. I'd drive home to see family (as pretty shit living in London on your own) and we'd drive round the south circular with him in his cat box on the front seat. He was my constant companion.

I'm heartbroken. It's just yet another loss. 3 babies and 2 cats. Feel like I haven't stopped crying since May last year.

Whatever I've done in a past life, then I'm sorry!!!

Love to all -counting thinking of you tomorrow xxx

He didn't leave my side. This pic is him on my blanket when I came home from mc #2 / ERPC #1

RIP

Aw brummie I am sorry about your cat. Hugs.

Glad you had a good appointment biscuits. Good night counting. Hand hold till 2pm

Brummie, I'm heartbroken for you. Pets are our babies and much loved companions. Hugs to you. xx

Counting we will all be in there with you, willing it to be a good scan. If it helps at all, I visibly shook before all my scans, and always primed the sonographer about my RMC history so they could tell me the important bits first.

Barking here's to out of body experiences tonight! With eight to choose from, it sounds good to me...

Bootles I'm glad you made it back to Coventry, and now are back on a plan. Hope it doesn't feel too daunting!

Brummie that sound like a bit of light relief!

Sebs I keep hoping things start to look up for you, I really hope they do soon.

Baking I think about sweet Faith often. Thank you dfor staying here with us, and its good to hear things are improving for her.

Charlie and Purple great to hear that your pregnancies are going well! More thread babies on the way! Whoop!

Sorry, my memory is completely screwed, so I will have to leave it there.

We had out first day without DH today, and coped! Cheated and went to soft play, but both boys were quite lovely. I know it will be tricky at times but it was a good start. Am also starting to feel a bit more human after a couple of weeks of feeling a bit shell shocked. Just need to loosen up a bit now...

Brummie so sorry, cross posts. I've also lost two cats in a year and I've definitely sobbed a whole load of grief into their deaths. Losing such a close physical presence is really hard. Big hugs to you x

Oh brummie I'm so sorry about your little friend. Pets are just like people especially after so long. I still miss my little girl after two years. Big hugs to you x

counting hope you manage to sleep. We'll all be thinking of you tomorrow I'm sure and hoping for a good scan xx

Oh no Brummie... so sorry.
My elderly cat had to be put down a few months ago. I'd had her since I was 18, for 18 years. Remember coming in from clubbing and snuggling up to her when she was a kitten. And I felt like my heart would break.

It's not karma, just shitty. We had a really bad 18 months when I had 3 m/cs, MIL died, my mum was diagnosed with cancer, my oldest friend was diagnosed with cancer, DH lost his job and then FIL died too. As someone said to me at the time, it will all flip and then everything will start going right. It will.

And Counting, hope all goes well tomorrow.

brummie so sorry about your lovely cat. Everything must feel a bit much right now x

counting the waiting is awful. You have done so well, been so brave to get through two weeks. Not much longer now x

firsttimer hello. Sorry, I didn't intend to be flippant about the immune issues theory post boys. Its so hard with different opinions from consultants, different pieces of research, to decide what is correct and what isn't. As always with rmc, there don't seem to be many definitive answers. Its been mentioned on here such a lot recently, so I was reporting the opinion heard today. Am keen to look at all opinions though! Will check out the link tomorrow. Can I ask...is there any suggested treatment for the hy restricted alleles?

biscuits I was 3.30. No biopsy for me today, hope yours was ok (other than lady garden issues! Sure that aspect isn't something they dwell on). Yes I think you are referring to the hyper fertility theory, where the womb lining is not identifying the 'dud' embryo's, which it should never allow to implant - it is not selective enough, and where it is not responding to the requirements of an individual embryo, even if it is potentially viable. Yes the boy link...he said the same to me, that cells remain in the uterus/bloodstream for years , and an evolutionary response to ensure a decent age gap after a boy, may go a bit wrong in some people. The end result is still that the lining doesn't work as it should. I'm still not clear either why this would only happen with boys. He did say he really can't say why there is a boy link - evolutionary stuff a theory. Yes he also said that about immune issues, and that when the uterine lining is not being selective its the opposite of being 'overly immune' to pg, so its totally the opposite of the immune theory.

God its all so complicated..need to sleep..

Brummie, so sorry to hear about your cat. Big hugs x

Good luck Counting x

Aw brummie, so sorry to hear about your dear little cat. So sad to lose a family member like that and such shitty luck to go through that on top of everything else.

biscuits, glad you had a good appointment, sorry i had forgotten you were going there to today.

counting, thinking of you today x

I spoke with a nurse from the response trial yesterday so will be going in to get the pre screening hopefully next week. The only hard bit then will be deciding whether to go with the Coventry protocol or join the trial, as i can't take progesterone/heparin on the trial.
I think if nk is high i will go with Coventry, otherwise response.i know that's hedging my bets a bit. Hope I'll make the right choice

Sorry about your little cat brummie We lost our dog in Sept 2013, hot on the heels of three miscarriages in the previous year and it just felt like the Universe hated us. When you've been through so much a furry friend that listens without judgement is even more dear to you. I promise you karma is bollocks, none of us deserve any of what we've endured.

biscuits sorry, I missed that you were in the Coventry contingent today. Hope you get a good plan.

Hi firsttimer glad you have come out of hiding! Welcome to the madhouse.

andcounting Thinking of you today, know that we are all rooting for you and will all be here whatever the outcome. xx

brummie I am so sorry to hear about your cat, it is another loss on loss. We lost ours two days before the last mc and it was awful. Hugs to you.

bootles thank you for giving that information - I'm there on Friday and it's really useful to warm my brain up ahead of time! And to remind me to take notes...

I was back at the GP yesterday as I still can't get rid of this thrush (tmi sorry!) Got to go for some blood tests as I also have some weird mouth issues at the moment. He did say "stress", which kind of annoys me as it seems such a catch-all, and nobody ever says what to do about it!

Oh brummie - so sorry to hear about your little cat. Pets are absolutely members of the family and it is so painful to lose them, let alone off the back of 3 mcs. Big hugs hun

Thanks so much all. With due date number 2 tomorrow I do literally feel like the universe hates me and could I possibly experience anymore sadness?

I have a Coventry question though. After I go on Friday, I can't try again until the the following cycle due to hystereoscopy on 20th. Does this matter I'm not trying in the cycle immediately after?

Loopy glad you are sorted with Mr W. A lady called Alex Blackwell who is on Mr Watt's team is doing my mine which I'm fine with

I just want to get to May now so we can TTC and put this behind me.

I literally feel like I haven't stopped crying since New Year. Every single week without fail, something is a trigger. Just overcome with grief and sadness at moment. I'm hoping eventually it will turn. Keep reminding myself the night is darkest just before dawn and it has to get better.

I just don't know when

Counting big hugs. I know you are scared. I'll be thinking of you x

Brummie, I know what you mean. After my lovely cat was run over after mc2, I was in such a dark place for ages. You will come out of it, but that's easy to say, I know.
RE Coventry, at what point in your cycle is the hysteroscopy? If before ov, maybe you can TTC anyway? If not, you would miss out on one month's worth of benefits from the scratch, although I should think that the hysteroscopy would also 'irritate' the lining, much like the effects of a scratch, so it may not be that big of a deal. That's just my reasoning, though, I could be wrong. Be kind to yourself. xx

counting and barking thinking of you today

Bootle that's really interesting what you were saying about the lining - I lost two of mine at 9+5 and I think, with no evidence, that it was something to do with the placenta taking over. I'd been told by my consultant about clotting but they didn't mention the lining. It makes sense.
Brummie So sorry to hear about your cat, it's the most horrible thing as animals really are there through the thick and thin. My dogs 18 and luckily still going but it's there at the back of my mind. Sending you big hugs