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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 20 - tests, treatment, trying again.

999 replies

barkingtreefrog · 21/03/2015 15:30

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

OP posts:
girliesaints · 04/04/2015 10:21

I only stat maternity at my last company and that was a household insurance company (too tight on profits to look after their employees) I survived, although it did mean I was back at work after 6 months ??

Marchgirl · 04/04/2015 10:48

Positive opk at cd16 yippee! So definitely be joining you at Coventry on 13th cheesy. Plus so happy that the acupuncture seems to have worked in shortening my cycle by 3-4 days, so a bit more 'normal' now.

Good luck with the house flen. Exciting! Sorry you're feeling a bit sad about the mc though. It's horrible how this takes over and kind of memory of dates

Lovemylittlebear · 04/04/2015 11:35

Hi Floweroct - yes I did see Amanda - she was lovely :) she said she will give me a prescription but I didn't ask if it was NHS paying or myself lol I was overwhelmed by the appointment and asking my ten million miscarriage questions lol so forgot to ask about money. I'll ring them in the week and find out how it will work thanks for reminding me. Xxxx

cloudjumper · 04/04/2015 13:53

Quick wave, need to catch up properly on the computer.

Just - hope you are ok, and baby just, too! How scary, and not how you want to spend the Easter holidays. Fingers crossed you can go home soon! Have they found what might be causing the bleeding?

Brummie - go for the job! We can't put our lives on hold, things need to move on. It will give you another focus, and hopefully also some enjoyment (is that a word?!). I changed jobs after my first MC and it was the right thing to do! Focus on what's happening now, not on the 'what ifs' , there'll be enough time for that when it happens.

Brummiegirl15 · 04/04/2015 14:19

Thanks so much all!! We've decided that I should apply.

Quick question about Agnus Castus, is it worth taking? I'm worried about AF taking 37 days again, if my cycles were normal AF should've arrived yesterday... Guess what, no arrival!

Now I appreciate 24 days is probably too short, but I don't fancy 37 days either!!!

So is it worth taking and do I just start taking it whenever?

I bought some from Boots today...

Just hope all is ok with you - keep resting.

Cat my love, you are going to have paint that nursery sooner later because Kitten will be here!!!

Hope everyone has peaceful Easter weekends planned. I wonder how Sun is finding China!

Flen · 04/04/2015 15:22

brummie I read something about Agnus Castus here: julietocallaghan.wordpress.com/2013/02/21/agnus-castus-and-pms-dont-buy-it-from-boots-or-holland-barrett-if-you-actually-want-it-to-work/ although I have no personal experience of it! It was something I was considering and I found this while researching the correct dosage...

longestlurkerever · 04/04/2015 17:08

Hello everyone I am back from a week in Norfolk which was great but had no Internet all week and I have missed so much! It's like the whole spectrum of life on here in a few short days. counting and sun I am so, so sorry. I hope you manage to enjoy your holiday sun but hugs to you both.

Hugs also to just. I hope the bleeding stops and babyjust hangs on in there.

Handhold to brave barking. How are you doing?

Hurrah to our new thread baby and great scan news from bythesea

Best of luck this those ttc or waiting for tests. And to brummie re new job. Definitely grab those opportunities when you can.

I took agnus castus prior to this pregnancy and would recommend it for pcos but I have consistently long cycles and don't conceive quickly. You don't sound like you have pcos to me.

Brummiegirl15 · 04/04/2015 18:21

Ok thanks longest I'm just a bit concerned that my cycles seemed to have lengthened, but going to see when AF turns up first

bakingtins · 04/04/2015 19:08

Happy Easter everyone! Easter Smile

Loopyaboutmy2boys · 04/04/2015 19:56

Sorry but this thread just moves so fast. I didn't get much sleep last night so not a hope of remembering everything I've just read. But just, hope mini just stays put a while longer, I knew someone who was told she had a short cervix, got told by her consultant odds in her favour that she would be fine. She delivered within the week at 27w 4 days, but baby was fine at the end of it all, but was in hospital for a few months obviously, but amazing what doctors can achieve when they are so small.

Counting, glad you seem to be coping with everything, there are no words.

Sun, so very sorry, I hope your holiday gives you some time away from normal life to heal.

Brummie, definitely apply, you may not get it anyhow but you will always wonder what if otherwise. Have a slight niggle at the back of my mind. Something about there being a difference in criteria between being entitled for maternity leave as opposed to maternity pay. If you start new job pregnant, at worst you get statutory maternity allowance (which is tax free so whilst not getting the 90% for the first 6 weeks, there is no tax from it) but I think you don't get the same maternity leave rights. But it could have changed so might be worth reading up on it.

I'm in a similarish boat, I haven't worked really for a couple of years, and there is a chance I might be interviewed for a part time job doing what I used to do but obv at a new firm. But if they do offer it to me, I am clearly hoping that I won't be there long before I have a baby. But given I have lost 4, it may not happen as quick as I'd like and if I don't get a job soon I will have been out of the industry for too long to get back in if I'm not careful, so I need to try, and if I do get a sticky BFP then I think I would just turn round and tell them that when I applied I did not think I would be adding to our family as we had previously tried and lost x number so had decided to go back to work and focus on that, then had a happy surprise etc....

jassS · 04/04/2015 20:05

Brummi,e fo for the new job! iF Murphy then works, would you not be so happy to have a healthy pregnancy that money issues would not be important, even if you lose out by the move? I would not hesitate, because indeed life can not be on hold!

Flen, beautifully put how we feel avout mcs - this sad lurking feeling which howls somewhere in the soul, not knowing where to go, but definitely always there. I have felt quite tearful today about my last mc (not helped by going for Billy Elliot musical and seeing how it moved my DC4). Also maybe as the physicsl part seems to be behind me I can now have space for the sad feelings.....

Catlover2014 · 04/04/2015 22:53

Brummie angnus castus made no difference to my short cycles but I think Tanny used it to good effect. I can't imagine it would hurt anything to try!

Hope you're all having a restful Easter break with lots of yummy chocolate. Hopefully Easter will be a good new start for those having a hard time on the thread.

XxX

Justonemoretime · 05/04/2015 08:34

Enjoyed a lovely sleep in my own bed! Still got a little spotting but have been allowed home for now. Not on bed rest, but taking it easy. Babyjust doing fine, no signs of needing/trying to come out yet.
Had farcical/surreal dinner last night in hospital; the lady in the next bay, separated from me by a curtain went in to labour very quickly after her baby kicked her hard enough in the cervix to break her waters (she was overdue, so they were probably ready to go). I was hooked up the the monitor so laying flat as baby was being uncooperative. Then my dinner arrived. Dh was spoon feeding me fish and chips whilst leaning over all the machines trying not to get ketchup on everything whilst this poor woman was begging for an epidural. It wasn't funny, but such an odd situation that dh and I were trying to be quiet and discrete, and failing because we kept getting the giggles. You couldn't make it up, but there is a comedy sketch in there somewhere.
Happy Easter to all, enjoy the chocolate and rest. xx

Marchgirl · 05/04/2015 08:52

Glad that you're out just, and that babyjust is ok. Hope you have a relaxing rest of the weekend. Will this force you into early mat leave? Hope the spotting stops soon, it must be a worry x

Justonemoretime · 05/04/2015 09:00

Thanks March. Early mat leave will be up to work, so we'll have to have a meeting when school goes back. My consultant has been clear that I am not supposed to be on bed rest and suggested work might actually be a good mental distraction, as long as I come straight back in should anything happen. Obviously that's a challenge that school might not be willing to take on; imagine having a big bleed in front of y7, I think it would be frightening for them, never mind highly embarrassing for me. I might ask to be on admin duties but still support my exam classes. If school go for it, that would work. I really don't want to be forced to go when its only logistics rather than a medical necessity.

girliesaints · 05/04/2015 09:19

Glad to hear you're home Just and everything is settling back again. As your consultant has said remember to take it easy, although I suspect you find that easier said then done.

Merry Easter everyone x

Brummiegirl15 · 05/04/2015 10:40

Glad you are home Just and MiniJust is ok.

Just wanted to pop on and say Happy Easter to everyone - have a lovely restful day all xx

ThePopAndCry · 05/04/2015 10:50

Happy Easter everyone. X Easter Smile

Minnie74 · 05/04/2015 11:22

Have a lovely day everyone. Happy Easter! Easter Smile

Frecklefire · 05/04/2015 12:22

Happy Easter lovely ladies! Smashing sunshine up here in ilkley - spring is well and trully sprung! Xxx

Purplefrogshoes · 05/04/2015 12:24

Glad your home just take it easy

Happy Easter everyoneEaster Grin

Marchgirl · 05/04/2015 12:34

Hope everyone is having a lovely chocolatey long weekend. Beautiful day up in Edinburgh. Starting to get back the hopeful feeling. Think the weather helps Easter Smile

Monten · 05/04/2015 12:41

Glad you're home just.

Happy Easter everyone Easter Grin

I broke I rule of mine last night and commented on a thread about pre natal testing. There was a whole bunch of people saying how they had declined testing because 'I knew I wanted my baby whatever the outcome'. I, and others, said that was quite a hurtful thing to say, we desperately wanted our babies too but unfortunately didn't have any choice, terminating was a matter of controlling how and when our desperately sick babies died, there was no other choice about it.

And this horrible woman who started the whole thread said we were out of order for 'taking out our anger and grief on them' and then flounced off.

She also said that nuchal testing was 'little more than guesswork' which completely infuriated me. Such an ignorant thing to say, when testing has allowed many women avoid a traumatic and not to mention life threatening late miscarriage or still birth that they would have experienced just 30 odd years ago.

I'm so upset I wish I hadn't got involved. OP hasn't been back since making that awful comment and it's made me really sad.

Marchgirl · 05/04/2015 14:06

I don't know why people who haven't been through tfmr have these types of conversation because unless you've been through making that decision, I think it's impossible to know how you'll feel and I think it's wrong to comment on what other people should do in that situation.
All I know about it (without having been through it) is that it must be one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make and I hope I never have to go through it. Ifeel so sad that anyone has to.
So I'm sorry that this person has upset you monten, but you should know that they know nothing. Because they don't know you or your situation and they have no idea what is like to be in that position. Ignore.

Brummiegirl15 · 05/04/2015 15:06

Monten I'm with March on this one.

Ignore her. And we both know I'm guilty of commenting on those threads and being a right mardy cow can't keep my mouth shut more like

I've learnt through this journey that there are many smug pregnant women - the ones who think they know what they would do.

When actually the reality is something they'd never even thought about in their darkest thoughts. And until they've even faced a minute of what we've been through I'm not interested in hearing their opinions of what they might have done.

Shoulda woulda coulda. Now jog on. Easter Biscuit

I know that makes me a mega bitch but I don't care.

Please don't let her upset you. You made the right decision for beautiful miniMonten - you had no other choice.

Grrr good thing I never saw that thread

Big hugs xx