Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 20 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[barkingtreefrog]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

brummie apply apply apply! If you get it brilliant, if you get pregnant later even more brilliant- then you'd have a baby and a brilliant job! I've wasted too many months (years!) putting stuff off (even originally marrying the wrong person- that wasted a lot of bloody years!) and am starting to think what the hell- like Flen said 'life keeps going.' We (me especially!) need to have a go at going with it. X

flen just had 20 mins to read all your blog- it's fantastic. Totally captures exactly what I've felt. And it made me laugh too- brilliantly written.

Still not properly caught up and over data usage limit on phone now, another week to go without Internet eek.

So so sorry to hear your bad news Counting and Sun. Really was crossing all fingers and toes. I'm thinking of you both. It really is shit. Big hugs from me.

Thanks for advice all on blood clot tests, just read it on NHS site about them being done twice when I got home and wound myself up. That consultant always makes me and DP so mad each time we see him. No bedside manner at all.
Forgot to mention, lining was 7.6mm so was fine to test with 7mm being the min. They showed me the lining sample in a jar! Sounds quite measly compared to Flens 11 though, lining envy!
Prof Quenby didn't think heparin would be needed for me as usually started on it at 6 week scan and I lost both mine at 6 weeks so too late to help with mine. She really thinks the combination of lining sample & prog' is key for me.

I also asked about how she specialises in miscarriage in obese women and she said she had found these early mc's more common in obese women, like their uterus just isn't strong enough to support it. But just a slight loss can make all the difference. Crash diets not good in long term, but short term can be worth it. Now where did I put that recipe for cabbage soup. Again scratch and prog' to help that lining though.

Move going ok, but feeling quite crampy today so haven't been able to help much. Feeling guilty.

Seb I wasn't armed with info from Coventry. My consultant knows prof Quenby so said he would support any program she recommends, but at same time discharged me so not quite sure how that will work! Wasn't interested in offering me early scans if the get pregnant again, but presumably will with letter from Coventry. Made appointment to see GP to ask her opinion. Will get letter in form of email from Coventry around same time as uNK test results I believe.

Brummie apply for it and go to interview and ask more questions there. You can always turn it down later on down the line. Gives you more time to consider it though.

Thank you minnie, I'm glad you liked it.

brummie I totally get the uncertainty about applying, but I think it's so important not to define ourselves by this one aspect of our existence, as very very hard as that is. I'm trying more and more to take opportunities and believe in mine and OH's ability to get through whatever happens.

Totally agree with the others brummie, and flen put it very well. The fact that you are so excited when you talk about it says it all. You may lose mat pay from the company until you've been there a bit, but you will still get government mat pay at the very least, and in the meantime you will have a job that you love. Don't put your life on hold. Enjoy it and you will invoke the law of sod!

I second what everyone says! Apply! You never know, law of sod may well kick in! And three months wages isn't everything! Plus if you were to get pregnant tomorrow you'll probably still acrew enough service to get mat leave :)

I say go for it, Brummie. I think you'd regret it if you didn't give yourself the chance. Good luck! x

Jass sorry you had to have another op. I hope you're managing to get some rest and you can now physically heal.

Counting glad your op went well and that you have some positive news amongst all the shit. I hope Dr Cahill will help you.

Jady glad coventry went well.

Flen hope the correct diagnosis means it will piss off now

Barking I agree, so much will power! Well done you.

Freckle glad your appointment with Dr walker went well and you have a plan. All sounds positive.

Minnie hope you get your app through soon and things get moving for you.

Sebs glad you're feeling better and more yourself. I saw my gp about prescribing meds for coventry protocol and I took a copy of the coventry leaflet with me (pm me and I'll send it to you) and had a list of meds, progesterone, heparin (fragmin) and prednisone. I'd also googled the heparin for Barnsley beforehand (to see if Gp or hospital prescribed it) and found a document from the clinical commissioning board on it which I showed him. He defiantly knew I was serious when I went in armed with this and I would just be a pain in the arse if I had to be so think it may have helped.

Brummie Go for it! I believe you'd still get stat mat pay even if you got pg straight after you started which is 90% for 6 mths, then £600 a month after that. So if you work out the diff to existing mat pay it may not be as great as you first thought...? Definitely should go for it in my expert opinion!

Just hope you're ok.

Bythesea yes hopefully will be going to coventry mon 13th April. Very excited as I feel like it's a new start and next ttc will be different. (But still shittin myself a bit about the biopsy!)

Regarding my name change, I love cheesy mashed potato, mmmm! No other reason, ha ha!

Hello everyone else! X

I'm going to add my voice to those saying DO IT to Brummie. I'm in a similar position in thinking about changing jobs and, like the others, I can cope with the lack of money better than I could at the regrets at not moving.

Hi everyone,

I went for private gynae appointment as my nhs one is going to take nearly a year LOL. Anyway the consultant was helpful and knowledgable. She said I would be prescribed progesterone, preds, aspirin and a type of heparin beginning with C when I get a BFP. Partners sperm sample came back as amazing....which is great news but made me feel like such a failure lol. anyone any similar experiences with the meds mentioned.? I was going to go to Coventry next month for tests but she said I didn't need to she would just give me the meds anyway...not sure what to think?

Brummie I would go for the job

Waves at everyone else and sorry for the sad news recently ladies. Sending out hugs xxxxx

littlebear do you kind me asking where you saw the private gynae and! even more of a cheek, approx how much it cost? Or are you already insured? Thanks!

brummie go for the job - I did in January, came close second on promotion and felt better about myself than I had for ages. You sound so sparkly just talking about it, must be good sign!
Hugs to everyone, sorry on phone so hard to do proper name-checking updates. I've been reading and thinking about you all lots. This board feels more real than RL....

Glad op went ok counting, of my 3 different mcs the surgical was best physically. GA made me shaky but bleeding was light. Sun really thinking of you and hope flight & Hol goes ok. Just I'm glad mini just seems unaware, now lie down and rest! My niece is spending lots of time in hospital with second pregnancy (edd same as mc2...) and it's hard but necessary. Can you get iplayer or a good book? Pratchett keeps me sane in hospital!

Thanks so much for advice about ttc after ectopic, finally spoke to DH today and we've agreed to wait until after rmc appointment and for two AFs. I feel relieved as my body just feels so broken, and my head is a mess. It's not like me not to talk, usually can't shut me up, so I'm a bit worried I've not been talking to DH. Need to pull myself together. Right, kick up bum then bed for me!

littlebear I was thinking the same!! Where did you find this amazing private consultant?

I was reading about Adele Silva (ex Emmerdale actress, had 3 MC) the other day. She had testing done at Zita West's clinic and they found issues that NHS hadn't found when they tested. I think she said they cost £5000. Anyway she was put on various medications and her last pregnancy went full term and I think she has a little girl now. Wish I had 5k just laying around. I would pay out 1k if I thought the testing was hugely comprehensive but 5k is just too much.

Brummie you are pretty much guaranteed a BFP if you apply. So apply!!

Cheesy id love that leaflet please if you wouldn't mind PMing it to me or I'll send you my email address xx

Thanks all for the encouragement - I really appreciate it. Feel like I've been sat waiting to get pregnant and that has been our whole life for a year.

The job is more senior - it's a "Head of" role so it's more a punt and throw my hat into the ring. I'm always believer that if you apply for a role and you aren't quite right, but do well - you stand a good chance of being remembered if the right one does come along.

I also feel part of me needs to leave the sadness behind.

I've no idea how successful we will be in having a baby. I may end up like many ladies on here sadly having a 4th / 5th / 6th mc - god knows how we carry on. But as Flen said, we have to carry on with life. It's all we can do.

What is worse, telling a new employer I'm pregnant and then juggling a new job and a pregnancy or continuing to have mc's and thinking what could've been.

Plus I may not even get the job/ take the job and then I'll know that it wasn't meant to be

Thanks for all the advice ladies!!!!

Sebs I've seen the stuff about Adele Silva too - and be warned anyone going into Tesco or other well known supermarkets.

Front cover of Ok is z list sleb Helen Flannagan with her bump on display talking about how excited she is about new baby with top rated footballer Scott Sinclair - er Scott Sinclair is a 2nd rate footballer who plays for a team that ain't that great.

Plus also Duchess of Cambridge "starting her maternity leave" starting??? WTF???

So you have been warned!!! #avoidnewstands

CRGW in cardiff...it was £150 and I got a scan of my uterus and ovaries and my partner did a sperm test. The consultant was great and knew all the research. Just nervous about taking meds without getting NK test done first but very happy with the appointment. She also found the cause of my right sided pain. I have some sort of cyst...I can't remember the name but thought I would give it till after Easter and then ring up and ask x

Ah littlebear did you see Amanda? That's where I had my clomid,iuis and early scan done -they are lovely. We saw her after my mc after iui but saw someone else after mc3 as it was covered by my insurance and I wanted blood tests as well and crgw wasn't covered. Will you be able to get those meds on nhs though? Will your gp follow what they suggest?

sun and counting sorry to hear your news xxx

brummie go for it!!

barking keeping everything crossed for you

march not on ivf yet we've got a treatment meeting later this month which in theory means well start next cycle but I've got to wait for smear test back as I may have to treatment which will put ttc on hold so really hoping that doesn't happen!

Hope everyone else is ok

brummie go for it! ( even though chresy is massively over optimistic about stat mat pay!)

littlebear sounds v positive

I thought that about stat mat pay! I get full for 2 wks, 90â?? (no actual percentage sign on phone!?) for a further 4, then 1/2 for 15 wks, then onto SMP.
another quiet night here on the labour ward, but still light bleeding, so still stuck here for now.
Waves to all. xx

I've got a smiley today on pink cb, yey! So can book into coventry first thing tue (although the purple cb was a flashing one still but going to go with the pink one, ha!)

Thanks for the warning brummie.

bear sounds like it was well worth the money and they were really helpful.

baking/brummie in my last job, as long as you were there 6mths before 25th week (so as soon as you were pg) you would get stat, (but obviously any enhanced pay depends on individual co policy). Assumed the rules for stat were the same everywhere. You can claim mat allowance if you can't get stat but not sure if you still get the 90% bit which obv is the important bit.

Sorry just read back and realised I put 6 mths instead of 6 weeks!! Sorry! Wondered why I was being so optimistic, ha ha!

With my last job I started and then found out I was pregnant. If I had conceived a few weeks later id have qualified for their very generous mat package. As it was I didn't even qualify for stat may pay. Luckily I did qualify for maternity allowance and I had to make do with that.

Right now id just be ridiculously happy to get a sticky BFP lol. Funny how money becomes insignificant when it can't fix the problem.

Stat is the £138 weekly for the whole thing or 90 percent if its less than £138 a week. You get whichever is lower. The issue I had with my previous pg when I did get a new job when I was 4.5 weeks (I like a gamble!!) was that, when you're a teacher you often start a new job months after being appointed, so I would have had no chance whatsoever of hitting the 26 weeks having been appointed in April for a September start. Its a massive loophole that female teachers can fall down that wouldn't affect a job if you have a month between being appointed and starting the new job, which is what the 26 weeks rule is supposed to protect women from. (Gets off soap box).

Feels like I've missed lots.

Hope you're ok just what a worry. Hope you get more time with the little one before they come into the world but they are amazing with early babies now. My friend had her girl at 30 weeks (now 5 weeks ago) and she's doing great. Should be home next week!!!!

Brummie I would say to go for it too, sounds like a great opportunity and something to distract while you're waiting for your little one. Wish I hadn't waited around in my role for so long. I let it drag out for six whole years while TTC!

Waving hi to everyone and sorry I'm not totally up to date. Hope you're all enjoying yummy Easter eggs!

We've been decorating the nursery this weekend and even though I'm 27 weeks I feel like it's tempting fate - kept the paint colours neutral so it can be an office if it all goes wrong

XxX

I only get stat at my work. 90% for 6 weeks and the £138 for the rest...

tiny Snap.... Always assumed that's what working in the public sector gets you!

We are off to do a third (yes, third!) viewing of a house this morning. Was awake half the night going over such crucial issues as would the wardrobe fit. It's strange, I both want to move and am terrified. I guess rmc makes us ultra-sensitive to uncertainty! Also having a few pangs as it is Easter weekend which was when mc 2 happened last year. An odd, lost, griefy formless sort of a feeling lingering round.