Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 20 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[barkingtreefrog]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Sorry ladies super busy sorty for quick interjection but just needed to say minnie wtf??!! Where do people get off with being like that?! She is the boss. Therefore managing staff absence or staff difficulty is her responsibility. That's her job. That's why she (I assume) is paid more than you. Cheeky cow! Makes me so cross!!

That sounds like bollocks Minnie. You're jointly responsible for certain duties but if she is underperforming it's the head's job to start performance managing her surely? Might be worth asking for advice in the employment section if your union isn't helpful.

Thanks lovely ladies. My job share hasn't had any feedback as far as I know. She was smiley and jolly in her other role today (and she's not known for hiding her emotions!) She can be quite strident so my boss tends to deliver messages to me in the hope I sort it out without her having to speak to my job share. Thanks the support for my rant! Hopefully it will get better. Only a week till the hols anyway (definite peek of the job!)

Perk not peek!

Oh Minnie big hugs. That is shit.

Am home. And just had a monumental baby bomb that has tipped me over the edge.

Driving back from station had missed call from unknown number. Msg left by pregnant ignoring me friend's sister asking me to call her back.

Why did I call back? It's like touching a hot stove. Nothing good can come of it.

So Monday my beautiful beloved pussycat of 15 years died. Yesterday I grieved for baby number 2. Tomorrow I am at Coventry to desperately try and help me carry a baby.

Today pregnant ignoring me friend had her baby - 5 weeks early. And her sister had to phone me and tell me "so I didn't find out another way and I know how hard it is for you at the moment" so you decided to ring me? Thanks for that

I could actually feel my lip wobbling and my voice breaking on the phone.

So I should've had a baby yesterday - nothing quite like a pregnant friend who has ignored me giving birth the day after to bring your grief to the top.

I just broke down in floods of tears.

Does this level of sadness and pain ever fucking end???????

Oh brummie. Big big hugs. I don't have much constructive to say apart fro big big hugs. It's so hard. My cousin gave birth the other day and hearing the news just made me feel so .....empty. It was like I could physically feel my empty arms. I'm so sorry. The sadness and pain will end tho. It will. You will have your baby. Big hugs

Oh no brummie such big hugs from here too. It's so so hard and so unfair. Try to focus on tomorrow and the start of a positive plan xxx

Brummie, so sorry you've been baby bombed. xx I hope Coventry gives you a sense of positivity and a feeling if being listened to that helps to lift you out of the dark and towards a more positive future.

just you are not derailing thread at all - we are all here for you and it must have been pretty scary to have a bleed and serious consultant talk - very glad its all looking good now.

barking you are not being mememe at all - like sebs said, heart is in mouth reading your updates. Sounds really tough to go through what you are going through. Am willing those embryo's on so much...

Minnie totally agree with others - try not to let it get to you (but hard of course)

brummie sorry for the baby bomb, sounds really hard to deal with. I hope Coventry goes well and brings you some hope - sounds like you could do with some.

Apologies to anyone I left out, Hi to all.

Brummie what bad timing! Big hugs. Good luck for tomorrow, I hope it brings you some hope. And for you Flen. Will be thinking of you both.

Minnie I don't know what to say. I would say ask your GP to put you on reduced duties. I'd at the least try and jot down as much of the conversation as possible, and yes ask GP to sign you off for the week until easter then go back on reduced duties. Hopefully will give you a nice long break & the strength for when you go back. She shouldn't be putting that on you.

Minnie that is horrendous. I would contact your union, not to kick off, just to get some advice. I think you are well within your rights in the circumstances to request a postponement until after Easter.
I had a lesson observation shortly after mc 1. I was tired, stressed, and working stupid hours trying to put on a whole school production. It was a joint observation with the head and deputy both watching. I had a very difficult child in my class at the time and she performed to the audience. She'd already been excluded 3 times at this point for assaulting members of staff. I tried to carry on with the lesson while she was crawling round the floor under desks and three adults were trying to get her out of the room while she screamed at them. I was on another planet. When it came to feedback, I couldn't even talk about what had happened, it was all a blur. They said they'd come back and watch me again after the holidays as I clearly wasn't myself and they wouldn't record the lesson. Fortunately for me the head was up against a target from the governors of 100% of lessons observed being at least good and 25% outstanding, and she was counting on me to provide one of the outstanding lessons. It wasn't going to help her data to record my horrendous lesson!
And if the head has identified that your job share is not doing a good job, then that is on her head, not yours. Again, I'd be asking my union for advice now, just so you know your options if that gets nasty later down the line.

brummie surely a quick text would have sufficed? It's awful when all the difficult dates pile up on top of each other. I hope Coventry is a positive experience.

just glad you're home, trying to get any sleep in hospital is a nightmare.

march yes, well remembered, the RMC diagnosis was factor v leiden thrombophilia, which is why I'll get heparin from bfp if we get one. Also on daily aspirin and 400 progesterone twice a day.

Thanks for all the reassurance ladies, as you've wisely said, this is a different cycle, with different drugs, and a whole lot of selection of the fittest!

Good luck brummie and flen Hope you have a good Coventry experience and come back feelng positive.
minnie agree with all the others that your head needs to grow a pair and tackle your jobshare, not expect you to do the dirty work or take the rap. Worth seeing if you can get Union support on this but if it means you go off sick until after the holidays would serve her right.
just glad you are home. Take it easy, that's a order!
tiny hope you are ok and all set for the big day.
barking willing your little embryos on, best of luck for tomorrow, we are all rooting for you ( will be another crowded-in-spirit hospital room tomorrow)

I agree Barking pregnant friend has ignored me pretty much all through her pregnancy. So quite why her sister felt she had to call me is anyone's guess. Does no one text these days???

But, got Coventry today. Good luck to you Flen I'm armed with the paracetamol before I go in. Can't believe how far you ladies come to see prof Q. I'm so fortune Coventry is literally down the road. Suspect it will take as long to park as it does to get there!!

Then that's it for me for a week. A
Holiday and off to Cornwall with DP. Leave this shitty week and pregnant people and new babies behind. No offence to those on here!! does it sound bad that you don't count and I'm really rooting for you? I can't explain it!!!!

Aw brummie, you really are going through it at the moment. At least that birth is done now and hopefully tomorrow you can start a fresh sheet with Coventry and without having that thought of 'when is the announcement going to be?' hanging over you. I think sometimes it's a bit easier when these things are just done (even though it bloody hurts at the time)
Good luck today Coventry ladies x

Good luck Coventry ladies. As Baking said there will be lots of us in the room with you,rooting for you x

flen and brummie hope Coventry goes well

Thinking of you flen and brummie today. Hope the visit's useful and look forward to hearing about how it goes.

Minnie hope you follow some of the excellent advice that's been provided on here. Your health and wellbeing comes first.

Glad you made it home just. Take it really easy today.

barking still rooting your little embryos on. Hope the 4 keep growing stronger.

I don't think any of you keep derailing the thread. Its what we're here for. We're in TTC mode. Waiting to ov. Totally not enjoying this month. Just all making me so sad. Dsil is due around now. Mil is driving me batty. We're a close family. Have to see them both today which is an epic fail on my organisation skills. Unless she's busy in labour. My boss has suggested I do some middle management training which is a big complement as I'd be attended as an inspirational learner but there's so much going on in my head. I know I shouldn't be putting my life on hold but I just want a bump and my maternity leave to be coming up, not extra hassle at work. I feel like a failure all round. Sheeish how did this post get so miserable!! Right. It's Friday ladies. Nearly the weekend... Must be ov blues!

Good luck Coventry ladies. Please give me lots of details as I'll be there May 1st if my cycles stay normal!!

Oh Minnie she sounds a bit like my boss - hasn't really got a clue about what job share means! I think you're completely in your rights to say that you need to have time to get everything in place and back into the routine of the classroom before she starts observing etc. I'm off sick at the moment and I've had 20+ emails from my head with work to do - i've had to start ignoring them as its getting rather overwhelming! That said, I know I'm in for a bollocking when I get back to school next week! When's your interim appraisal?

flen and brummie good luck with your apps today in coventry, will be thinking of you and can't wait to hear all about it. brummie I hope today marks the end of a truly shitty week and is a turning point towards something positive. Hope you have a lovely holiday and get glorious sunshine everyday.

just glad you're home now. As baking says 'take it easy' that's an order, ha!

minnie your boss sounds such a bitch, who clearly hasnt got the 'balls' to do her job which is why she's laying it on you. I agree with others about getting advice from the union and getting signed off til after Easter. You really don't need this shit right now.

diddly sounds like a great opportunity, I would say go for it, Invoke Sod's law and get pg, he he!

barking hoping tomorrow comes quickly for you (I'm sure it will seem forever tho) and you have a few excellent blastocysts to choose from. Although (I know, everyone says it) one will do the trick! I must say, from an outsiders view it does sound positive, what with your optimum lush lining, and your appropriate meds lined up, I really feel you're at an advantage in this respect. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope it goes to plan. How long do you wait after to take the pg test?

tiny wow nearly time to meet teeny tiny! Looking forward to hearing your amazing news next week!

Waves to everyone else, sorry those I've missed! X

Brummie good luck today.
And I so understand. After recurrent miscarriage the pregnant women get divided into the ones who get it and the ones who don't.

That is why also at my work I insisted on wearing my baby loss awareness pin everyday as I felt guilty of my bump (does this make sense?)

Pre assessment at the ward today, and let's see how it all goes...

Just, you take it easy, as I said I know babies born at 28w who are strapping toddlers now, but you do want to keep baking as long as you can.

To everyone else, sending you some strength xx

Actually March that's a really good point. You are right, it's out of the way now. It's done. It's part of a crappy exhausting week that let's face it, wasn't going to get any sodding better.

I finish work for holibobs at 2.15 today for Cov and then that's it until after Easter.

3.30pm is the first step in our positive journey.

Sebs don't worry, will tell everyone all about it. Can't believe it's actually here!!

Thanks everyone else for such kind words. Minnie hope today is a bit better. Not long to go for you either for a bit of a break

Tiny you are right about pregnant woman who don't get it. My colleague who is pregnant am I do find difficult to face, could not have been anymore supportive and understanding. And she's never even had a mc. It hurts every time I look at her, but that's MY issue - she has done everything possible to be sensitive

But one of my best mates, could barely speak to me.

Brummie hugs and wishing you an excellent appointment and lovely holiday. Flen -good luck also.

Barking still thinking of your embryos. Really hoping all is well. Just one more day to go.

Just - Glad you're home.

In a cafe on my way to diabetes clinic. Or I might have accidentally made an appointment with the normal midwife as am pretty sure diabetes clinic is Mondays. Oh well. Bit worried about my numbers this week so will be good to get some sort of opinion anyway. I am on holiday from tomorrow too - going to Norfolk. Never been but it was somewhere easy to get to and by the sea. Anyone live in that direction I can wave to on my way? Think someone was Cambridgeshire.

In in Cambridgeshire and I think Biscuits or Freckle too?

minnie - grrrrrr is so crap having a shit boss. That is so her job to talk to your job share, not yours. Great advice from the other ladies though about talking to your Union to get their advice.

just - so pleased you are back home. Feet up!

brummie - what a shit thing for your friends sister to do. But as march says it's good to get that piece of news behind you so today can be your new start.

Good luck at coventry today ladies.

x