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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 19 - tests, treatment, trying again.

995 replies

bythesea82 · 06/03/2015 12:07

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

OP posts:
Flower29 · 19/03/2015 07:29

So sorry to those of you having a hard time bootles, freckle, andcounting. A big hug from me. Flowers

sebs hope you get into the epu today and you're set for an app soon.

Good luck in the 2ww cloud and to anyone else waiting.

miracles well done for kicking up a storm and getting your testing

Waved to everyone else, sorry for missing anyone. X

bootles · 19/03/2015 07:34

Sorry freckle, didn't name check you yesterday.I think the gp could be a good option, you only need to say you"ve had three mc in 8 months and you are finding things very hard, and would anti depressants be an option - I'm sure that's enough for them to take you seriously and advise if you can take them whilst TTC. I'm really sorry you can't get time off work, that's a huge pressure. Is there no way they can get someone to cover for you for a couple of weeks? (I say this in total ignorance of the way teaching works). Hugs x

Thanks march, flen and girlie. March we are already TTC again but more because its a kind of compulsion than any hope it will work. Yes hopefully talking to Prof Brosens will give me more thoughts.

bootles · 19/03/2015 07:41

Cross posting, thanks flower, and brummie yes it's shite being too old for the response trial, sorry that you are too. Did I read that you finally O'd?

Justonemoretime · 19/03/2015 07:51

Bootles, so sorry you're feeling down and Shock about being chased by the mw! So sorry you had to deal with that. Hope Prof Brosens is able to help you make a plan to move forward.

Justonemoretime · 19/03/2015 07:53

Also, meant to say Grin Brummie for your ov Smile !

Seekingmiracles · 19/03/2015 09:17

Definitely not weird Sebs and Monten - i quite often find myself thinking about everyone I've met on here over the last 18months.

Bootles - your pain is very real and it doesn't matter that you're waiting for number 2 while others are trying for number 1. All of the babies you've lost were very much wanted a longed for. It's irrelevant that you have a child at home. Sending you big hugs hun.

Monten · 19/03/2015 09:21

freckle I meant to say my friend is ttc ing on anti- depressants and apparently it's totally fine.

sebsmummy1 · 19/03/2015 09:56

Oh god bootles I totally understand and feel your pain, every word of it. I wish I could give you that miracle that we are all hoping for Sad. I totally understand that fresh loss of hope. Before I had diminished hope but still had a little. Now at 40 with 3 MCs behind me it have to accept the hope is all but gone. Some days are better than others. I too trial out phrases with strangers. 'He is an only child' seems to be ok for me and not induce tears. It seems to invoke a good response from people ie. they don't enquire further. It's a finite statement. Whereas in my head of I said 'I am unable to have anymore children' or similar it might start a conversation about infertility or the person might start trying to quote Daily Mail miracle stories at me.

I was caught short the other day by a couple of Mothers at Preschool who had newborns that everyone was (understandably) cooing over. I just didn't know what to do, I froze. I have no lightness about my person, you need to feel frivolous and dare I say happy to make small chat regarding babies. I just don't have it currently and so I must have seemed horribly rude. I hate that.

I have rung the local EPAU and quelle surprise, answer phone. I just left a message explaining the whole situation and hopefully someone will get back to me at some point.

sebsmummy1 · 19/03/2015 10:34

I have brown discharge. Mucousy brown discharge. I am going to change my mind and say I think AF might be on her way. If I count surgery day as cd1 today is cd24 and I would normally expect my period anywhere from cd25 to cd27. Do you think it could be AF starting?

cloudjumper · 19/03/2015 11:42

Ladies, I have recently seen a Fb post of the Miscarriage Association, about a new counselling service that is now being offered through the NHS:

It's called 'Improving Access to Psychological Therapies' (IAPT), rolling out services across England offering services to people with depression and anxiety. Therapy is free, you can self-refer or get referred by your GP. There is more information on the MA website, or directly on the NHS Choices website (if you search for IAPT, it should come up).

Maybe that is something to consider? bootles, freckle, I can't recommend post-mc counselling enough, it has been a lifeline in those really dark times.
For those of you who live in the Cambridge area (including surrounding counties), the Petals charity offers specialised counselling. I know that they are trying to make it more accessible for people with early losses, but I don't know what stage that is at. I had 6 free sessions, but that was after a 2nd trimester loss.

Hope you are all feeling better soon!

Brummiegirl15 · 19/03/2015 11:47

Could well be Sebs - the timeline is about right. And for all 3 of mine, AF started pretty much when it was supposed to. I hope it is. I know it's hard when AF turns up after a mc but I always try and see it as a fresh start. The beginning of something new, and a new opportunity to try again.

Thinking any other way would just break me.

Yes Bootles I have indeed ov'd!! Whether my cycle goes back to the 24 days it should be it stays on a freakishly random 37 who knows.

But Coventry booked next week.

I think about adoption a lot too, we will try a 4th time, that I'm certain of. But if it happens again. I don't know. What I do know is you have to leave 6 months after a mc / failed IVF before you can apply and DP is 46 in June. The reason for age concern is that certainly in Worcestershire you must have a maximum of 45 years between youngest applicant and child. We still fit that, but it does worry me.

I don't want to try a 5th time, and then have to wait 6 months after that...

So potentially it's 4th attempt for us and then toss up between 5th attempt or adoption process if it all goes wrong.

Marchgirl · 19/03/2015 12:18

Sounds like it could be af sebs. Mine were not to far off a normal cycle and all post mc afs (including the one I started today) were preceded by a couple of days of spotting

Flen · 19/03/2015 12:29

Help!

So I did an OPK this morning at 6.45ish and got a line not as dark as the control but it was a definite line. Did one again at 12 and it is not any darker (went without weeing or drinking anything between 9 and 12).

What do I do? Is this positive or should I test again? Should I email Kerri? I am totally not at home with OPKs and don't understand them very well...

sebsmummy1 · 19/03/2015 12:45

Brummie have you considered IVF with a donor egg if you get to a point where you feel adoption might be the next step? For me, if I didn't have DS, I would be going down that avenue for sure.

cloudjumper · 19/03/2015 12:49

flen Is that a non-digital OPK? If so, I'd say it's a positive - I hardly ever get a line that is as dark or even darker than the control line.
The early morning one is likely to be unreliable, since the LH is usually not present in fmu, it's one of those that get produced during the day. Most OPKs say to test after 10am (at least the cheapie ones that I am using).

Good luck!

Flen · 19/03/2015 12:57

Yes cloud, it is non-digital. Here's a pic of the line at midday... (Yes, don't you photograph your poas?! AHEM. Blush)

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 19 - tests, treatment, trying again.
sebsmummy1 · 19/03/2015 13:07

I would say that's a negative test Flen, sorry.

Flen · 19/03/2015 13:09

sebs do I keep testing? How often should I test? It has been blank up until now - no line at all. I'm getting into a tizz about it because I am waiting for a positive test so I can book into Coventry and work are getting a bit frustrated with my not being able to tell them when I'm going...

Flower29 · 19/03/2015 13:19

flen I think it's meant to be as dark as the control line or darker, but I also think it varies from person to person. If you didnt have a line yesterday I'd guess ov is probably on its way, so maybe test again tonight or tomorrow and hopefully it will be positive then. Good luck! Shamrock
I've used the pink cb one previously, along side ic's so I could compare, and I had a line like yours and the next day it was much darker than the control, I got a smiley on the cb at the same time.
Are you getting any ewcm too?

Flen · 19/03/2015 13:20

flower that's what is confusing, I got ewcm yesterday morning, but not today.

Marchgirl · 19/03/2015 13:24

It's a hard one. That's quite dark. Mine have always been really really dark when it finally came, and like your one on the days leading up to it (this is what I meant when I said I kept thinking it was maybe +ve until I got a really +ve one, then realised the other ones hadn't been), but if you're someone who doesn't normally get strong +ves then this could be it. I've definitely heard people say they have nothing at all most of the month and even showing a light line is the +ve for them. I would phone kerri and see what she says. Although whether you phone today or tomorrow you're presumably likely to get next Friday, so you could wait and see if it's darker tomorrow. That hasn't helped!

sebsmummy1 · 19/03/2015 13:25

I would say OV is on it's way too, but not today. I found 10am a good time to get a positive test because I could avoid having a drink in the morning and have strong enough wee to get a pos test at 10am. If I tried in the afternoon I struggled to not drink/hold my wee. With those ICs I only ever got a line as strong as the control line, never stronger.

Flen · 19/03/2015 13:36

Thank you guys. march that's what I thought too - that maybe the next one or the on after will put that one into perspective! I have contacted Kerri anyway to explain and we will see what she says. It's hard fitting in all the not-weeing and not-drinking around work, especially being an outreach worker when I'm zooming from school to school all the time!!

bootles · 19/03/2015 13:46

flen I use ic's and am very familiar with them - the brand looks the same as the one in the picture. I get a line like the one you have, then the next day its as dark as the control line, which is when its meant to be positive. Asmarch says, next Friday will be the day they see you as the clinic is only on Mondays and Fridays. Did you use one yesterday and there was no line? I say ring Kerrie.

Brummiegirl15 · 19/03/2015 13:50

Ooh I don't know Flen this is the exact reason I spend a bloody fortune on digi ones as I can't bear the stress of trying to decide what the other ones mean.

Sebs I tentatively looked into donor IVF through Birmingham Women's (as all IVF round here is carried out there) and the waiting list for a donor egg is 2 years!!!!! Unless you get someone to donate eggs on your behalf, then you go to top of list but still need to wait for next egg. With DP's age we don't want to wait that long. My consultant said he wasn't sure IVF was for me.

So it would be adoption for us and actually I feel ok about that. Adoption services are also pulled through from Birmingham City Council in this area as well as Worcestershire and as the world pretty much knows, Bham City Council children services are rated inadequate (it's only the largest single council in Europe!!! Angry) and it fills me with fury that the city I consider my home and love and through my work, represent, is failing our most vulnerable citizens.

So my feeling is, if I can give one child a home and the love they deserve, then that's ok by me. So I really think 4th time go for it, if not, we'll start the process and I feel ok about that.

Will get off my soapbox now. #loveagoodrant