Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 19 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Monten, I agree you don't have to invite all the children. Most parents I know are pleased if the invite doesn't include the kids, as it means you can pack off the kids to a relative without any guilty and enjoy a few ????????

I agree with the others on children at weddings monten, we had no children apart from my two nephews who were involved in the ceremony and a small baby who was still breastfed. Everyone else was glad to leave the kids at home. But i know how hard it is to sort out the guest list without offending anyone. I wish I'd had the willpower to have it just as the people we wanted but there is massive pressure from family. And then you'll probably find people drop out last minute after you've already paid! Grrr. We underestimated numbers with the venue by a few until a day before, and we're so glad we did because of drop outs

Keeping everything crossed for you barking. How many more days of injections?

pop that sounds like a lovely service and I am glad it went as well as it could have done. Hugs to you.

Thinking of you barking, this injecting time can't be easy. Hope your golden light is flooding through your body!

Re: selectivity, that is the general rule I am using for friends too. I find I can cope with babies as long as the people are sensitive. I am, however, beginning to completely panic about my sister's baby who is due middle of May, same time as I would have been. My sister is NOT sensitive and in fact hasn't spoken to me for months now (after I sent her a very calm and kind email saying I probably wouldn't be as in touch as I usually am after finding out she was pregnant a week after mc3). No idea how to handle the whole situation and know the rest of my family will be piling down to see them once the baby is born. It has been preying on my mind and it's only going to get worse...

I've basically lied about my wedding Monten and told some people we're eloping. We're not, but we're only inviting immediate family and a couple of friends - I've really insulted some people. We decided to only invite people we think have really supported us and understood us over the past three years. I told my mum that cousins etc haven't so don't make the criteria! She kind of understood but said they'd be upset. I rang them and explained that normally of course they would be invited but one of the reasons we're getting married is in recognition of how much we'd gone through and as a result it was going to be really small and intermate - I added we may do something bigger in the future which they would be invited to. We've managed to keep it down to 20 but some friends have stopped talking to me! Weddings are a minefield of politics!

bear my bf had lots of kids to her wedding (I was bridesmaid) and she hired a kids entertainer and they were bundled off to another room for the speeches which was a great idea.

Sorry your app has come back and it's sep! That's crap! When is your private one? It's bad people have to pay whilst some in different post codes get a really great service on the nhs. I'm sure you'll look back and be glad you paid tho if it moved things along more quickly. X

I really don't get why people fall out when they're not invited to a wedding. If it's your bf or sibling maybe but otherwise no. People forget what a wedding is actually about, 2 people, end of. Not a big piss up for everyone. They should respect the couples wishes.
That's a great idea boozle and well done for doing it your way, it must be so difficult.

Flen that's a horrible situation, I really feel for you. I had similar with SiL but we don't see them much so it's not as bad.

monten it is YOUR wedding, invite who the hell you like! We did. The only person we were guilt tripped into including was my uncle as my grandma had already got excited about him coming (he lives abroad so she doesn't see him) and had told him to book his tickets. I didn't have the heart to turn round and say that actually, he wasn't invited! It was just him and his wife though, so not a problem. I didn't invite any uncles and aunts from the other side of the family, or any cousins. We had a separate do for all our friends and that was strictly no children. I would have been 7 months pg if I hadn't had mc #1 so it was difficult that I wouldn't have the bump I had pictured and I couldn't handle people bringing their kids. It meant a few people with babies were missing but no one had a problem.

March no idea how many more injections, at the scan this morning (queuing here now) I'll find out how many follicles I've got and then when they need to scan again depending on how they're doing. This is the difficult limbo bit, just one scan to the next and more injections until they decide it's time for egg collection. Then it's the next limbo bit to see if they've fertilised and then the next bit to see when they're going to put them back and then it's just the 2ww.....

Re: weddings, they are a minefield! Basically start on the assumption that you'll offend people and then be happy with every 'satisfied customers'! Good luck!
Got my 25 week mw appointment this afternoon (more things to start to worry about - paranoia talking!). Want to ask about a de-medicalised way of doing a c-section. Once an internet researcher, always an internet researcher - think I'll always be a pain in some medical professional's ass...
Hope the injections are going ok and the scan shows many follicles, Barking!

monten don't panic! It's your wedding and you have to try to have the day you want. Putting your foot down is hard work esp with family but at the end of the day it really is just about you 2. Can you explain the kid thing to your mum? I know that doesn't mean they will understand or be sympathetic. We have been to child free and low child weddings! Weddings always upset people in someway. We had 50 guests at ours and both sets of parents were disappointed with us. If guests with children really want to be there they will make sure they are if they can be.

barking hope the scan shows SUPER follicles!

flen we have a similar thing as you but with dsil who is due in less than 2 weeks. Dh is really close to her but even he is struggling and we are seeing much less of them. I even go to sleep worrying about how I can avoid seeing and meeting the baby once its arrived. And I wasn't due for another 6 weeks after her. It makes it really hard to move on when there is the bloody huge reminder shoved in your face. Or mil going on and on and ON about the beloved thing. And then your own mother asking if she's had it yet. And friends...

Big wave to everyone!!

25 wks just yay!

Flen - sorry to hear about your situation it sounds really tough :( I've been really lucky with my best friend who has due date 2 - she acts like she is not pregnant lol and is so kind and considerate I'm only now able to ask her about the baby and birth and she is really excited and I'm finding it ok :) but I don't know how I would feel if it was a sister that has the same date that would be so tough. Hope your family are considerate of your feelings Xxxx

Flower - great idea about the entertainer :) will defo do something like that. Honestly I think we will soon have the same amount of kids as adults and I wanted a small wedding. We cancelled our first one as couldn't afford it lol and I said to my BF we need to get married soon otherwise there will be hundreds of kids attending lol. Private appointment is first of April so quite soon. Going to attend that. Pay for the blood tests and see of GP will take the brunt of some of them if possible. Pay for HSG and then go to coventry in 2 months. I'm worried I have something wrong as I have been getting cramps on my right hand side (feels like where an ovary should be). It was there intermittently during last two pregnancies and I've noticed it since then so I think maybe there is more to it then it being an impending miscarriage pain. I wonder if A something from the ectopic still there/damage or B maybe a fibroid or C endometriosis lol thanks to Dr Google. EPU brushed it off as miscarriage pain/ said I might need a POO lol - which wasn't the case!

I was a bit late reading some of this thread - I'm a fat porker too and on a low GI, low carb, high protein, low sugar diet and it's boring lol. Have two and a bit stone to lose xxx

And I'm vegetarian so the protein bit is hard work :)

Sorry meant to say good luck barking :)

flen, that sounds so so hard. Really hope it won't be as bad as you fear, but completely understand that anxiety about how you will react.

bear, I'm no gynae, so obv you should still get it checked out, but could it be a corpus luteum cyst? I had one after mc3 and it caused a sharp pinching pain and acheyness on my ovary, which lasted about 3 months after mc. No idea if yours is that, but just wanted you to know that if it's that, it's completely harmless and will go away. I also asked if it could have contributed to mc4 and she said no.

flen and mrsdiddly I really emphasise with you, it's really tough. My SIL was due a month before me. He's 10 months now. It still hurts sometimes but I promise you - once the babies actually arrive it does get easier. The anticipation is always worse than the reality. It will always be a bit hard but soon enough you will have your own baby in your arms and you won't be able to imagine it any other way. Don't do anything you don't want to do.

That's tough that your DSis isnt being supportive though flen. Is it worth trying to clear the air before the baby does arrive by telling her her silence upset you? Whatever you decide to do it's hard.

Thanks for all the comments re. the wedding!I know it's me and DP's decision at the end of the day. It's just my dad isnt around any more and my mum has always been so brave about it. She's such a lovely mum and never ever pushes her agenda on me normally. For her to say something she must feel quite strongly about it.

If we invite the cousins we will say no children. I've got myself in a tizz about it though. I'm not really close to any of my cousins (I lived on other side of the world growing up and now we live in completely different parts of the country) but my mum's sisters children have been the closest - but still not close, we're not in touch. In the last year all of them have had babies. What's more - they know what happened to me as my mum told my aunt. I didn't attend a family reunion in July last year as was just after my second MC and I couldn't face seeing all the babies/bumps. I'm so worried if I don't invite children they're going to be talking behind my back about how bitter and sad I must still be . I can't bear the thought of people feeling sorry for me, that's always been my problem.

littlebear I'm so sorry - I wasn't dissing weddings with lots of kids! I actually like kids at weddings, it just felt like 26 kids was a bit much. Particularly as have of those are DP's cousin's who I have never even met....

just good luck for your appt today. Can't believe your 26 weeks!! That's so awesome. I can completely understand wanting to take some control over the c-section. I hope they are supportive. Actually I wanted to ask you a question re. hysterocopy. I have my gynae appt this avo where hopefully they will agree to it. Did they tell you beforehand what they would do if they found anything? There seems to be lots of hysteria about ashermans and advice not to let any NHS doctor go near you to try and fix it if you do have it. I just want to make sure I'm asking the right questions.

Hope your follicles are growing well barking

Good luck barking and just.

monten re. your comment about nhs and ashermans, my Pilates tutor has ashermans and is now infertile which (as she put it) was 'due to nhs botching up her ops after her mmcs'! So maybe there is some truth in what you have heard! I emailed her to tell her I would be back at Pilates (after a long absence) and told her about my mcs. She then went on to tell me she had had 4 mcs but lost 5 babies in total, she doesn't have any dc and now can't have any. So sad and heartbreaking

I'm really sorry if I'm causing any panic with anyone, just thought I had to tell you given what monten has just said.

Just, I asked at my last appointment and they can lower the curtain when they pull her out as I want to see... I'm OK with curtain for cutting and stitching, but happy they will let me see...
DH isn't as pleased but I told him to look at the pretty lights when I happens

flower that's so sad. And also my worst fear.....

Sorry monten I hope I've not scared you unecessarily. This is only one persons experience and there will be thousands of women who haven't had any problems. Maybe you could find out if there are any recommended nhs Drs that carry out the procedure and choose one instead, if that's a possibility...

Wow Just 25 wks already!

Booked in for Response trial this Friday and next week is first fertile window, so looks like I'll be back ttc this month. Mr Girlie won't know what hit him! ????

Hi Monten re Ashermans after my panic a couple of weeks ago. Both Mr Watts and my sister have both told me it's really really rare. But of course it does happen and can happen as we've just heard

I was convinced I might have ashermans - no good ever came from Google - but now AF finally came on I do feel a bit better. I know it's hard but please try not to worry.

Although the irony is not lost on me that I got this exact advice a couple of weeks ago

Cd 8 for me and empty circle again this morning on the old opk's

Still debating why on earth I am going to this do on Sunday, but all my other friends and their partners will be there and pregnant friend is just one person. I'm terrified of facing her but I'm also sick of missing out and don't want mc's to rule my life.

But DP will be there and if it gets too much, we'll leave. End of. I have to do these things on my terms

Don't worry flower I know you weren't trying to scare me! It's just so sad for your pilates teacher. It's like my absolute worst fear.

Thanks brummie I remember giving you the same advice! TBH I was starting to feel better about AF, they've been gradually improving. But then this cycle I've cramped heavily for at least five days but only had a tiny tiny amount of blood. So back to square one. At least I have my gynae appt this avo so can ask. Hope I don't cry....

I'm sure you'll be fine on Sunday. Anticipation is worse than reality. Her journey is her journey and yours is yours. You said she was single didn't you? Well, just think about your lovely DP and how lucky you are compared to her to have someone who loves you to share your life with. And your baby will come, I know it. x

Brummie and barking, I'm totally there with you in the grumpy, baby-avoidance mode. My EDD would have been this Friday and I'm really grateful I don't have any pg relatives or close friends at the moment but it feels like my pg colleague who's due in June is mentioning her pregnancy every 5 mins, and if not her, then another colleague talks about her about it, argh!

I really want to scream and shout at everyone to shut the f#@k up about it, but thats not really the done thing, so I've been popping my earphones in instead.

I did really well today. Went shopping and didn't hate lots of women with two children and even managed to smile at two little kiddies in one of those prams where one is under the other. Only person I was jealous of was a very giddy pregnant late 20/ early 30 woman who was having a conversation with another woman with two children (if course). But then I overheard some of it and it was all very vapid and she said 'sooooo' at the end if every sentence, so I decided I wasn't jealous after all

Big hugs for everyone who needs them xxxxx

Just nipping on to share my scan news . I have 3 leading follicles and 4 smaller ones. Need more cooking time, hopefully some of the smaller ones will get big enough to give me some more eggs. Scan again on Thursday. Egg collection predicted to be either Saturday or Monday please please please on Saturday so I get the weekend to recover
AND she said my womb lining was looking lovely - definitely the best she was likely to see all day
My womb lining has always been a concern, so this was music to my ears!!!

brummie I think you hit the nail on the head there - you do it on your terms. If you get there and it's too difficult you go home. End of. I did this with a baby shower. Lasted approximately 5 minutes and decided I just couldn't cope with it so I left. Pg friend was absolutely fine, told me not to even dare apologise, she was just very touched I'd tried .