Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 19 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Hello everyone. Thanks for your good wishes. Growth scan was good. Baby measuring normally. Have seen gd midwife and dietician and I am their star pupil. Waiting to see consultant now. Full time job this appointment lark.

sebs don't be hard on yourself. It's really hard to follow a diet when you're feeling low. Now I am pregnant and haven't long to go I am following quite a strict diet successfully and think i have already lost some weight off my arms and legs but I am ashamed how much cake I have eaten in the past 2 years and my bmi... I agree directing a decorator is not at all princessy or lazy but did you mention a business idea? Maybe a bit of planning towards that would help your mental state?

brummie I think it's fair enough to have a strop about marriage now and again in the circumstances. God knows I had my share before dh caved in! He still thinks marriage is a bit of an outdated and sexist concept but eventually realised I wasn't going to change my mind about it being important to me. We had been together 12 years by then though! (Yes we are both stubborn!)

Sorry about confusing spotting. Afraid I don't have much to add. I have always had spotting on the pill and when I was younger used to get it around ovulation. Otherwise implantation.

Pop, thinking of you today.

Sebsmummy, my new diet started last night too. Partly in case it's not helping with miscarriages, partly because sister's wedding is in six weeks. And apart from the 100g of Galaxy bar I ate at 11.30pm last night, and the other 100g I ate this morning, it's all good! (Holy shit that's 1100 calories...)

Brummie, you're not acting like a spoilt brat. Not at all. Spoilt brat would be Katie Price splitting with her their husband, meeting another new bloke and saying the last four have given me a ring or a baby so you better get to the jewellers, get back here and get your pants off.
Longestlurker, good to hear things are going well, gives all of us hope.

Glad your scan went well longest.

brummie I'm sure dp will understand that your grief at losing your babies is the underlying cause of your argument. And I'm sure telling him you love him is the best thing you can do.
I do hope he 'sees the light' though and gets down on one knee. Planning a wedding would be a lovely positive thing for you to focus on and take your mind off ttc for a bit (as well as the main reason for marriage being that you both love each other). And like you say, it will be something positive you can both have.
I think I read a while back that your dp doesn't want a big do (have I got that right?) but I hope there's s compromise that works for you both. (am sure you're already onto that one) x

Flower you are half right. My sister had a massive expensive cost the earth do and DP is very much a boy from the Black Country and he just sees that as a massive waste of money that could be spent elsewhere.

I think my misery at the moment is making me super unreasonable

Thinking of you pop, I hope that today might help you find some peace/closure. Will it just be you and your DH, or will others come to the funeral as well? I sometimes wonder if I should have had one for my last mc, but we decided against it in the end... So difficult to know what to do!

Sorry for not more name-checking - I need to catch up first! Got back from holiday last night, spent all morning wading through emails at work. But we had such a great time, really managed to blow away some cobwebs!
But I'm in the 2ww, 5DPO today. Another month, another chance. We'll see...

Afternoon ladies

Great news about your growth scan longest
floweroct hope you have a good experience at Coventry. Let us know how you get on.

pop thinking of you and how brave you are being today. Sending unmn love and a hand squeeze.

Struggling here. AF arrived Saturday which makes my cycle a day longer than usual. Found its still upset me even with our TTC month off. Feel useless and a strange pressure about TTC recommencing in a week or so.

leah sorry you’re having a bit of a wtf moment. I know lots of people get spotting sometimes and it’s nothing to worry about but anything out of the norm for you is always worrying. Unless it continues or becomes a regular feature I would put it down to being a wtf cycle and not let it worry you too much.

brummie sorry you had a bit of a tough time on sat night. I hate that when you’ve had a bit too much to drink and behave out of character. Remember no one else will see it like that though, we’re always far harder on ourselves than other people are on us. And they will have been drinking too! As you know, DP and I had similar issues. We argued about it a few times. I think what eventually made him propose was me saying that I only wanted a really small wedding and that he didn’t need to buy me a ring! No joke, I think the ring thing was a real mental block for him. He hates shopping and the idea of buying a ring I was supposed to wear for the rest of my life was too much pressure! I hope you manage to discuss it with him in a calmer situation and reach a compromise.

DP and I have actually set a date – 23rd May. Eeeeeek! We’re doing registry office followed by dinner/party in this place down the road which is a cross between a village hall, a working man’s club and a bowls lawn. Just 30 people. I feel like there is a veil of sadness for us that wont go away until we have our baby but in the meantime it’s really nice to look forward to something positive and happy. I was so hoping I was pregnant this cycle as it was my last chance to be over 12 weeks at the wedding. But it wasn’t to be.

brummie am I right in thinking you were referred for a hysteroscopy by your RMC? Did you ask for it or did they suggest it? I’ve got a gynae apt tomorrow so need to make my case.

Great news about the wedding monten - it sounds lovely. Brummie yes, the mental block thing applied to me too - dh was all worried about having to come up with some sort of perfect scenario for the engagement and it wasn't until we had a (tearful and probably not unlike yours on Saturday) conversation where I said I didn't care about that that we finally got engaged and went shopping for a ring together.

Thanks Monten I know you've wanted this as much I do! So glad you've set a date. And I completely agree about the veil of sadness. I don't want the sadness to define our lives. I want some happiness and joy in it as well

We are off to Cornwall next weekend for a week so I plan to not think (hah no chance) or talk about babies at all. I want to forget the heartbreak for a few days. Then we are painting our house as well and I've got my palette of Farrow & Ball planned
And DP's response? What is wrong with B&Q own brand???

Anyway I digress, my consultant said at hysteroscopy was an option and what were my thoughts? I told him I wanted to do anything and everything possible to make mc number 4 less likely. So I would just ask and see what they say .

Loopy how are you getting on? Did you manage to book yours in end?

Just had email confirmation of appointment at Coventry next Monday. So will let everyone know how it goes.
So I now have a week to worry about.... the parking of all things. Not too worried about discomfort, or the next leg of my undercarriage roadshow, but anxious about being able to find a parking space.
Other comments about anxiety and miscarriage ring true, I seriously need to chill out. Wish Paul McKenna would do hypnotic Valium.

Biscuits I'm desperately hoping for my smiley face this week so I can get in next Friday

biscuits your comments just made me laugh! Ha! Typical and very British to worry about parking too, ha ha! It's great you're now booked in, yey!

Congratulations on setting the date monten!! sounds like it will be a lovely intimate do, better than inviting loads of people you don't care about imo! Do you have your dress sorted?

brummie men! They just don't get these things do they?! Ppfftt! Hope your time in Cornwall helps dp come to his senses. Perhaps you could discreetly leg him up so he happens to fall on one knee and take it from there! Ha ha!

No time to post properly, just wanted to pop in and send more to pop for today

briummie I'm also hoping for next Friday at Coventry, or Thursday at a push... Using ICs, no line yesterday and faint line today so we will see.

Hooray for positive scan longest, that's great. And congratulations monten!

DP and I aren't married, but I as a divorcee, it all feels a bit different to me...

mrsdiddly I am dreading getting back on ttc treadmill and its a month away yet, so I feel your pain.

And pop so many hugs to you. Can't imagine what today might be like to go through.

Just popping on quickly as just had appt at coventry. Saw prof brosens, he was so nice - he was positive and helpful so refreshing! Really can't thank this forum enough for recommending it! biscuits we got there 45minutes early because I was worrying about parking! We found a space no problem though :) Procedure was a bit ouchy and feel a bit crampy but not too bad.

Wil catch up properly later x

Yay for prof b floweroct! He was so lovely to me! Can't wait to hear more.

And more yay for setting a date monten May weddings are lovely (bit biased though ) Your plans sound lovely.

Parking is fine at Coventry biscuits. I ended up arriving 50 minutes early, queued to get into a car park and then still had 40 minutes to wait around. There is a small amount nr the right building which was busy so I went in the main car park. Paid after appt on a card after getting my progesterone from the main building where hosp pharmacy is anyway

brummie a break will do you the world of good I promise. Lots of and you and dp time. Hope your smiley arrives soon.

How exciting to have set a date monten lovely to have something to look forward to.

Great news on the good scan longest.

Really glad Coventry went well floweroct, and great that you ate booked in biscuits. Hope it goes well too. I think Coventry are due mumsnet a referral fee!

Tip on Farrow and Ball paint, if you go to Johnstone's paints they have custom paint colour service (like the dulux one at b&q), and will match any F&B paint colour. The paint is still v good quality but about half the price. So if your dh continues to be difficult it might be a good compromise. And never buy own brand paint, my stepmum used to work for a major paint co and they supplied b&q own brand -it was the proper brand paint watered down!

V late to check in today but sending belated hugs to pop and hope you get through the day ok.

Yay for setting a date monten and you chose Faith's birthday which is bound to be very auspicious!

Well done on good scan longest and have a gold star for your diet success!

I'm glad you had a positive Coventry experience floweroct and biscuits don't fret about parking there is loads. Do you think they realise how many Mumsnet referrals they've had?

barking hope the cycle is going well and follicles developing nicely.

I haven't heard professor brosens mentioned I don't think. Can anyone enlighten me? Is this an NHS thing? A private thing?

Sebs Prof Brosens works with Prof Quenby at Coventry so when you book a Cov appt you see one or the other.
I understand both are excellent and makes no difference who you see

Aaaaah ok, thank you xx

Great news about Coventry floweroct I want the next two months (or more to whizz by so I can get booked in too!) Looking forward to hearing all about it.

Yay monten on setting a date for your wedding. Something lovely to look forward to- the best wedding I've ever been to had only 25 people. It was fab!

Thanks for the paint tip march we need to get started on moving ds to a bigger bedroom (can't swjng a cat in his at the mo) Have to decide whether to keep his old nursery in case of actually being successful next time or just get rid of all baby stuff and hope Sod's law works!

brummie enjoy Cornwall. It's such a lovely place. We had to have a weepy threatening to leave convo here too before even moving in was considered, never mind getting married. That was a whole other conversation as its second marriage for both of us. I'm sure your dp understands that it was wine and stress not you (mostly!) talking.

Well I started my diet today. Lasted till half ten then ate a chocolate croissant! Followed by a bag of mini eggs an hour later! No fecking willpower- I didn't even need to go to the shop so why the hell I did is beyond me. Crap crap crap! And I feel mad about the mc. Why couldn't it bloody work out? I don't want to get back on the ttc treadmill with a good chance it'll all end in crap again and by then I'll be

4-bloody-1. Totally pissed off with myself today!

Think I've finally got the hang of this bold thing?
Flower29, relieved you think worrying about parking is 'British', my take on my anxiety until then was just 'bloody irrational'. And thanks everyone else for info on parking. And Floweroct, really glad it went ok for you.
Brummie, keeping fingers crossed for you for next Fri. I'm not 100% I ovulated yet but Kerri accepted a positive OPK test yesterday to book im for next Monday.

Glad it went well, Floweroct. I saw prof Brosens as well and he was so positive and reassuring. He even answered an email on a Sunday once when, early in this pg, I had some spotting. That's what I call good service. Only ever spoke to prof Quenby on the phone, but she seemed lovely, too.