Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 19 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Coventry is cancelled for Monday. Absolutely gutted.

Kerri was v lovely and said it has to be right time in cycle and she'd book me in as soon as possible

Glad scans ok, Tiny and Bythesea, and hope your appointments are also good, Tiny and Girlie.
Brummie, gutted for you.

Brummie- absolutely gutted for you but as Kerrie said, has to be the right time for you x

Back from my consultant appointment and bloods came back fine. They have recommended no treatment as tests are showing need to have it, just early scan. Not sure how I feel as it's almost a case of crack on and hope for the best.

So off to explore the response trial as its being advertised at my local hospital. Blooming consultant didn't even know what it's about ??

Gutted brummie . I know it needs to be done right, but still gutting

Good news (?!) On the normal results girlie. Sorry there is not more to be done though. It must be both frustrating and scary to be told to be try again without doing anything different after waiting so long for your appointment. Are you considering Coventry or not at this stage?

Thanks March, think we're going to hold off on Coventry at this stage as we've never been able to test the foetus so it could very well be a random chromosome issue, I.e bad luck. I say that with my practical, logical head on. Emotionally I wanted some support next time so I can say we're trying something different, but hey-ho!

Minnie- asked both the doctor doing the scan (in fact I had two!) and the consultant and both said there is no evidence that tilted uterus can cause a mc. The consultant said it can also move around, so sometimes it's tilted and sometimes not, just to make things even more complicated.

My bleeding has stopped I think. Small amount of dilute spotting on a panty liner the last two days. Now my question is, when did everyone get AF or is that to big a question?

I know after my first MC they said you had to allow a certain amount of bleed free days before your next bleed could be considered AF. I had a bleed in a shorter time frame which I initially thought wasn't AF but subsequently realised it was. I know it's probably different for everyone and it no doubt tests on when HCG leaves your system totally.

Sorry you've had to cancel Brummie, talk about WTF cycle. I spoke to Kerri earlier too and they're looking into getting an extra session over easter, but reliant on also getting a free room.

Girlie sorry there wasnt much of an outcome from results. They say no results is really good, but still so hard to accept just trying again.
So hard to know whether to listen to the head or the heart sometimes.

My uterus is tilted too, the type where it's better to go on hands and knees rather than legs up in the air to conceive.

Seb 31 days for me last time from date of ERPC . Think they say 2 weeks between mc and next bleed.

Haha jady. Nobody had ever mentioned a tiled uterus for me, but my cervix is strangely far left. Bodies are odd.

sebs, varies from person to person. If i take the day of the mc completing as cd1 in each case then my wtf cycles were 31, 31, 26 and probably a normal (for me) 32/33 days. For mc1 and mc3 i was still spotting from mc before and after af, but i still count it as first af (maybe doctors wouldn't). Not sure that really helps you!

Tilted! not tiled. Now that would be odd

I was told a tilted uterus a couple of times, but the last scan I had they said it wasn't

Brummie you must be so frustrated..hang in there, your cycle will sort itself out and you will get to Coventry, but I totally get it that you're gutted.

bythesea that's good news, i hope the next couple of weeks speed by

tiny glad scan was fine, really not long now for you to go! Hope you get to see the consultants quickly.

Monten I hope the weekend with your family is ok. Sounds tough.

I have decided my family are useless. They only recently found out about the last 3, as I found them all annoying after the first two. Found everyone annoying it's true. But now, they never mention them, and after I told them all I got was an e.mail from Mum and one sister, and one phone call from the other sister. I know they care, and I can be very prickly with my family and they're probably worried about getting it wrong, but you'd think they would make some sort of effort.

Also, I have a friend who has always been pretty supportive, but now is unable hear or discuss anything. She had an ectopic a few years ago and was utterly devastated. She has since had a DD and is thinking about ttc again and feeling the fear and therefore unable to talk about my stuff. Which is ok I guess - and I feel petty saying it but cant help but feel a little let down. She made no response to the fact, none at all, that I got no results from the testing of the last one. It's as if I have used up all the support, and she's just run out of energy for it. After the last mc there were just a few texts then it wasn't mentioned.

Sorry for the moan

girlie how are you feeling about normal results?I agree its basically good, but can be so frustrating.

longest sorry you were feeling a bit deserted with your appointments, and glad you have some coming up. I hope they reassure you.

Meant to say also good news on the scans bythesea and tiny
Sorry your family have been crap and your friend hasn't been v useful either bootles. It totally sucks not having anyone in RL that understands. I know it's not the same but we are all here for you x

girlie I was exactly the same after my RMC appointment where my uterus was normal. It’s the only positive scan I have ever had. It felt weird.

brummie I posted a couple of weeks ago after clicking on that thread too. Lots of ladies I recognized who had been trying wayyyyy less long than I have now. And I felt the same way. And hated myself for it too. As sebs says though, I think those feelings go with the territory. I’m sorry about Coventry. You will get there.

Minnie I’m glad you got lots of good support on FB. People usually are so kind, we all should talk about it more. It’s just one more added shit thing on top of all the other shit things that we have to go through all of this privately and pretend to the world that nothing ever happened. My SIL replied and said how sorry she was and did I want her to stop sending pics. I said of course not, I LOVE getting pics of all my nephews, just it brings a lump to my throat sometimes. It feels good not to have pretended for once. Xx

Someone here recommended a temp adjustor website, for when you wake up earlier/later than normal. Can’t remember who it was. Is it accurate? AF due on Sunday, I had a temp drop this morning but took temp at a different time than normal so used that adjustor and according to that it is still high .

Although pretty sure AF on the way – I watched Crufts last night on catch up (loser I know) and cried buckets at the dogs doing flyball. They just looked so happy…….DP thinks I’m insane.

Actually quite happy with the results as for once I actually passed a test with flying colours!

Can I also say that I hate hospitals. I always get the odd person that sits next to me and wants to be my friend- all I want to do is scream go away!

girlie good news on passing the test! Even if a bit frustrating to have nothing concrete I would imagine. I'm totally the opposite about hospitals-every time I go I really want to work in one- weirdo I know!

brummie bugger on the test being cancelled. So sorry but hopefully next appointment will come around quickly.

Just been to the doctors and been signed off for one more week. That will be 3 in total. Rang my boss who while trying to sound sympathetic (calling me love-not natural for her!) asked why I wasn't coming back. Note says recent miscarriage but he was going to put anxiety which I told her. She said 'oh so it's not the physical side then, it's more emotional is it? What do you want us to do with your class as the girl who's been covering isn't that good and now we'll have to get someone else.' Got the distinct impression she thought I was being either pathetic or work shy. Now feeling really guilty and like I should be just manning up instead of wallowing for another week! Maybe I should have explained how all I can hear in my head is 'I'm sorry I can't see a heartbeat' and that I'm constantly thinking about how I'll never get pregnant again and that that hasn't left me much room to worry about work.

Bootles so sorry you feel like that. I sometimes feel like life has moved on and everyone has forgotten the grief we all go through.

So Coventry all cancelled. I'm just hoping that my cycle magically rights itself and I ovulate on day 9 or 10 again and hopefully I should be able to go to Cov on Friday 27th March.

Any later than that and I'm on holiday Monday 30th and then of course it's Easter so I'll miss out.

Don't let me down this time!!!!!

Sebs for me I always counted 1st day of Mc as cd1 and for all 3 it's been bang on 28 days. Which is late for me but still pretty normal.

Unlike last cycle which was truly WTF at 37 days.

That's been hugely helpful thank you. I've just had a small bleed so I think I'm still in this groove for a few more days yet.

Strangely that's also how my first MC went, I came on AF on time counting first day of full flow bleeding as cd1. Will be interesting to see how this pans out. I'm on day 16 since OP so very early days xx

Minnie some people will never understand and you just have to accept their failings. Do not let it make you feel guilty and like you should go in. To my mind it would be worse if you went in and dissolved into tears in the middle of lessons. They talk about trying to remove the stigma of 'mental health problems' in the workplace but my god doesn't it exist and don't they not even bother to hide their prejudice! Stupid cow.

Thanks march and brummie. I definitely feel this is the only place I am understood.

sebs I was told when mc ing, CD 1 is the day you pass the pg. I hope the bleeding stops for you soon, its just a constant reminder isn't it.

just really sorry you have such bad backpain, nerve pain is particularly bad isn't it, and I hope they have some useful suggestions for you.

Minnie your boss clearly isn't getting it. I agree its better to stay off than go in and struggle and go off again. It takes as long as it takes, don't let anyone guilt trip you into going back before you are ready.

Minnie your boss is stupid. She shouldn't be asking you what you want to do with your class, it's her problem and should be considered before a person goes on unexpected absence not lay on guilt trips. Try not to worry about work, difficult I know. Like you say you have bigger worries right now.

Been away with work for a couple of days and this thread has flown!

minnie - as others have said, you absolutely need to take as long as you need. There is no set time for grief much as our works probably think there should be! And why is your boss asking you what to do with the class? Surely that's her job to work out staffing cover for illness etc?

brummie - gutted for you that coventry is off next week. Fingers crossed you ovulate to normal schedule and can head there ASAP.

Also bythesea and tiny - very pleased that your scans went well.

counting - thinking of you and hoping you are managing to survive the torture that is waiting between scans. x

Evening all

minnie agree with the rest, it's for the person who is not off sick to firgjre out what to do with your class. You are not wallowing my dear. They may as well ask you to grow wings and fly as ask you to teach a class while you are unwell.

brummie I'm so sorry that this saga continues

bythesea great news, hang in there kiddo

tiny super news. I dig that.

bootles really sorry friends and family not rallying as you need. You say you think they might not know what to say or do. Can you tell them what you need eg 'I think it would be helpful for me to talk a bit about what's going on' or give them some practical ways to help? (those might be daft suggestions). I can understand your feeling let down by your friend.

Thanks sun and others for asking how I am. I started off at the GP where I saw a good, supportive GP, who prescribed me levothyroxine . great. I then went into work and managed to function pretty well all day. I spoke to my sister ( a radiographer) about the scan showing 5 weeks not 6 and while she acknowledged that it may have stopped growing, she did say it's very hard to get an exact measurement on a sack that may not be an exact sphere, operator error blah. It's defo not over. So i'm now back to hoping I'm still pregnant (with twins!). I know in theory I should be managing my own expectations but optimism comes much more easily to me and I've lost enough babies to know another loss would be fairly diabolical whatever my frame of mind is today.

That's great you got the levothyroxine without a fight Counting all fingers and toes crossed for you. Twins would be amazing.