Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 18 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bakingtins]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Well I've just watched Don't tell the Bride back to back. I think you just pad the days out until you fall into a routine again and acceptance kicks in.

Oh yes I am organising decorators to come in as I was waiting until the scan to change the study into a nursery. Obviously now that isn't happening we are going to get on with decorating my sons room, the master and the second bedroom. The whole house needs doing and it may as well start getting done now.

twilight after my last mc I struggled to do anything, I stayed in my pj's and watched Netflix for days

Thinking of you seb

Flower that's an interesting idea, not something I've ever considered. I will call my step dad at some point.

Freckle that is a frightening stat. I haven't managed to find much info on the subject, but if you look at prof quenby on the NHS pages it says she specialises on miscarriage in obese women so I was planning on asking her about it. I mentioned it to Kerry on the phone and she was going to see what she could find out, not heard anything though. I might ask my consultant about being referred to Coventry at my next appointment as he knows her. Will do the nk cells in parallel to that.

Days after mc- I think DP and I went to a local cafe and had an afternoon tea on day of confirmation scans. Then watched lots of TV whilst researching everything possible about MC. Found the only thing I could focus on was researching why it happens and what I could do, what trials were available.

Sebs Coventry tests is you've had at least 2 cycles then call Kerry for appointment when you ovulate. Appointment will be 7 to 10 days later. Don't need to have had NHS tests and just 1 MC.

Purple Sorry you're in a black mood. I have similar moods, so can't offer any advice other than you're not alone. My counsellor has picked up on it though and wants to focus on it at our next session.

Thanks Jady. It's comforting to be able to talk to you all, it's making me climb down from the ceiling slowly.

Just rung up my partner to shout at him as I've just looked at his email account and found out he is going for job interviews and has failed to tell me anything about it. He doesn't see the big deal as it's just discussions with people not really proper interviews but I think it's stuff that one would expect their future husband to mention! He thought I had enough going on apparently. Whereas I would have been grateful for some different conversation outside of babies and miscarriages. He is such a closed book, I think it's because he was put into boarding school from 7 poor sod.

Dont even mention husbands! Mine is a nice guy, really trully is, but emotionally totally inadequate. Last sunday when i got back from a&e and was talking to him about the likelihood of the brown sludge being another mc he could barely tear his attention away from ski sunday! He's been skiing in scotland the last three days so i went to stay at parents. Then last night when i was telling him about the outrageous postcode loytery for rmc on the nhs (by phone) he goes... "why are you having a go at me about it?!"... Put that into bablefish and it basically directly translates as "sorry

"sorry, i am badically an emotional cripple. Move along. You'll get no support here!" Twat.

Bloody hell Freckle i would have lamped DP if he had been so insensitive!! I admire your restraint. I know DP is devastated but he never cries, he does let me go on and on and on and on and on about things and just listens which is actually really helpful. He is not a 'solver'.

twilight I do very little immediately after mc except drinking wine and coffee for a few days (but then my thoughts turn back to TTC again) and walking our dogs. Dh goes into his shell but deals with the aftermath... The calls to work, family and cleaning. Then resorts to killing things on his PC. Box sets, TV and films help to fill the time. Might have accidentally gone shopping last time to buy clothes and nice house bits seen as we didn't need to save yet. The weeks that follow usually include decorating and me going on a house cleaning frenzy.

Miserable weather here. Bloody gloomy days can piss right off. Grateful we took the dogs and our beautiful pest ds out this morning. Bit impressed with dh. He's been using bakings list of rmc tests to price up our options and see what's out there.

Sebs and freckle both those actions would have had me ! Considering a career change is definitely something I'd want to know about, and attending to skiing over offering support for a possible mc?! Grr.

I am obviously in a minority in the things to do after a mc. My instinct was to get on my bike as soon as physically possible and cycle a long way up big hills. I did a massive bike ride while still bleeding. Not pleasant, but exercise, and physically pushing myself, has always been my way of dealing with emotional stress. After the iui failed the first thing I did was get on my bike...

Hi everyone,

I am 29, have one beautiful little girl who is 2. We had an ectopic in June, chemical pregnancy/early misscarriage in November and are having a misscarriage now 6 weeks (dodgy sac with no baby in). No idea why it keeps happening to us. I have gone neurotic lol - accupuncture, foresight preconception tests and supplements, fertility nutritionist, no alcohol or caffeine in ages, counselling lol not sure what else I can do? GP a bit crap and not sure who to refer me to so has referred me to general gynaecologist. Will they then make the referral to specialist in recurrent misscarriage? Won't be seen till June so unsure whether to take out a loan and go private, wait, try again whilst waiting for appointment. I also tried progesterone supplements this time round too. Any ideas on what else I can do/ask for please? Thanks everyone xxx

Hi littlebear, so sorry you find youself here. There are some things you can do and there are a number of success stories which in itself is a lifeline. Baking provided a useful list not long ago, not sure exactly how many pages back.

Many of us are planning to go to Coventry where they test for NK cells by doing a quick procedure, if high levels detected they prescribe a low dose of steroids, but a scratch is also done as part of the procedure which is said to provide higher fertility in the next few cycles.
There are also trials around the country where success has been found e.g. TABLET trial for thyroid antibodies.
Doing tests privately is down to personal choice and finances ultimately. I haven't gone that route so far. June sounds really far away though. When my GP referred me I had to book using an online system, had a choice of 3 hospitals. But I think if you're willing to travel your GP can refer you anywhere in the country. Not 100% on that though.

Corrections to crappie post....success stories are right here on this thread! And have helped me in my darkest moments. Any news Tanny?

For Coventry Google Prof Quenby. St Marys in London I believe is popular too, but don't test nk cells.

barking - I'm with you on the bike rides, except for me it has been running and spinning classes. Somehow the physical exertion seems to numb the pain a little. Also box sets (currently batting through The Good Wife) and planning one nice thing a week is really helping even if it is just a trip to the cinema, meal out, takeaway and a film etc. At the start of the week I write the 'nice thing' in my diary to look forward to in just a few days time. Anything to get through huh! x

littlebear - sorry you find yourself here but welcome. x

Littlebear, welcome. Sorry you find yourself here. Your GP can refer you to a leading RMC hospital like St Mary's, but the system will try yo send you to local hospitals, so you need to make a few phone calls. Get your GP's secretary to fax them directly. You should get an appointment in 3 months. For Coventry, you can self refer. Its NHS self funded (as opposed to private), and costs £360 for your consultation and biopsy, results over the phone and follow up at local hospital. Good luck. x

Welcome Littlebear glad you popped over. After three mcs your rmc will test for insulin, thyroid and clotting disorders, and maybe also scan you for uterus shape etc. June does seem a long time to wait. I got my st Mary's appointment 1 month after my gp referral letter. Might be worth some pushing to see if you can find another appointment sooner if you're willing to travel, especially if you have to go back anyway to ask for a specialist. Not sure we have anyone on the thread from Wales but some from wales and west midlands who might be better placed to advise.

sebs I am still quite worried about you. Please take tanny's advice seriously and don't be alone if you're having dark thoughts. You will get through this.

Don't know if anyone remembers resipsa. She only posted a few times but stuck in my mind as she joined the thread the same day as me and her dh had been diagnosed with cancer. Spotted her on an active thread and was really pleased to learn she is 16 weeks pregnant following donor egg ivf. Thought I would mention in case anyone else ever thought about her.

No Jady, no news yet. Resigning myself to going on for a while. Very nervous about something going wrong but I'm trying to stay positive that I'm being well looked after.

Welcome smallbear, so sorry you're here. We've had so much bad news recently that there are several people in a similar place to you. I echo others that June seems a bit ridiculous and in your shoes I would consider asking my GP to do the blood tests. I'm also a Coventry pompom waver and you may feel a bit overwhelmed by information to begin with. Welcome to the slow train through shitsville (my new favourite description of RMC)

Following MCs I distracted myself with box sets and decorating the house. I'm also a silversmith so throw myself into making jewellery. Dog walking and trips to the coast also helped. And crying. Lots of that.

Sorry, littlebear, not smallbear... Whoops!

Oh, that's lovely news, longest, thanks for sharing . I remember resipsa but I hadn't realised (or remembered maybe) that her ivf had been successful. I'm taking that as encouragement for my ivf appointment tomorrow! .

Good luck tomorrow Barking I know how important it is to you xx

Yes good luck Barking! What does tomorrow entail?

Good luck barking hope things start looking up from now

Good luck barking - onwards and upwards. x

Good luck for the appointment barking. Hope they get you booked in soon x