Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 18 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bakingtins]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Brummie, step away from Dr Google!!! That way madness lies! I had exactly the same ashermans worry's a couple of years ago and I learned that a) if you did have a bit of it it can usually be corrected by removing the adhesions and inflating the cavity with a balloon or coil to stop it coming back, and b) if you did have it you'd have very painful but light periods. And its really rare. But, I do understand, really scary. At Coventry, when they scan you, they will be able to say whether you think there is anything looking untoward. A hysteroscopy is the only way to know for sure, but the prognosis is not as bleak as the internet would have you believe. My advice, its probably not ashermans, but even if it is, its very likely to be fixable. Try to put your mind at ease. They say, also, that its not necessarily the erpc that can cause it, rather, its any infection you might get afterwards if it is not treated. Really very low risks.

So much to say but not enough time – but I just wanted to respond to brummie.

Firstly – my cycles have been really weird after erpcs and I always had weird pain, CM, cervix position at odd times of the month. Before first AF I had cramps for over a week before period arrived, so much so that was convinced I was pregnant. Remember cramps can be caused by other things (changes in CM apparently can make you feel like af is coming). I have found changes in my cycle to be really disturbing but it honestly doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong. Its just different. So don’t read too much into the pain you had a week ago.

Secondly, Ashermans. You might remember this was a real fear of mine and I went so far as to have a private consultation with Mr Lower, one of only two Ashermans specialists in the country. As just says, they can see any major adhesions on an ultrasound but the only way to see scarring is a hysteroscopy. I found my experience with mr lower to be really disappointing, and in fact I felt quite taken advantage of. He did an ultrasound which looked clear but yet still recommended a hysteroscopy – at a cost of £5000. They are not cheap procedures. He didn't say anything about it being rare, he made it seem like I would be stupid not to have it. At £5000! I felt he was taking advantage of my fears. metalhead also went to see him. Am sure she wont mind me saying – she ended up having the hysteroscopy after he spotted an ‘adhesion’ on the scan, but it turned out it was just a fold in the uterus. And the rest was clear.

I do think that your lining can be impacted following erpcs and it can take some time to build up again to optimum thickness. My consultant at the epu totally poo-pooed this but I believe its true. I’m hoping, with acupuncture, raspberry leaf tea, vitamin e and time mine will improve. just and tanny have had ‘thin’ lining observed on scans and then seen it improve. And then subsequently conceive.

At your RMC appointment they will do an ultrasound scan, so you should get some good insight from that. And then I would take it from there.

Thanks so much for all the kind words. I think I'm freaking out because I felt so helpless. In my head I should be emailing Kerri for an appointment at Coventry because I've ovulated. Not still waiting for AF!

My sister is not happy that I've been consulting Dr Google. She is currently retraining as a GP and says bane of her life is google. Patients coming in thinking they know it all. I do tell her to try and think like a normal person and not a medical professional.

The irony is though that she has left obs & gynae and working for Mr Watts because she struggled with the heartbreak women went through and the losses. She was terrified that she would lose a baby and she would somehow be at fault and she said she couldn't live with herself. She doesn't really want to be a GP as she misses obs & gynae dreadfully but she felt she couldn't remain detached.

I really hope I'm just being a tit and will be suitably sheepish when AF turns up. Thing is I just want to book Coventry but can't at moment.

I assume you have to wait for ovulation??

brummie I know the feeling when you start to worry about these things, and its horrible. My 1st AF post mc this time was also very light (we are at about the same stage post last mc) but then the one I have just had was really heavy, more so than usual, so I wouldn't take much at all from having an initial light AF. Its also really difficult to rely on CM/cervical position etc to track your cycle so soon after mc. I really hope AF shows up soon, and remember bonkers cycles are very common after a mc. Sorry work is so tough as well, its all a bit much sometimes isn't it x

longest I'm sorry, your diagnosis of GD somehow passed me by - saw you were having bloods then I missed the next bit somehow. Did you have the test routinely, or because you were having symptoms? Please don't blame yourself, it can happen to anyone, and I'm sure your baby will not have been harmed. The main thing is tbat its been discovered and you can treat/manage it. Have they put you on meds or just diet control? Horrid for you to have something else to worry about though x

twilight great news that you got offered another job! Much shorter commute plus more money has got to be persuasive, though I can see these decisions are not that simple. If you're thinking of taking it, could you resign and spend your resignation period off sick, to give yourself some extra breathing space? Totally get the desire to change Something post mc, especially if you weren't happy in your job before.

brummie yes you have to have a positive opk then you book the appointment so they can biopsy uterine lining when its well on its way to preparing for pg.

flen about 1 in 10 people who pass through Coventry have high uNK cells. I do, and it took me a long time to accept that this may be what was going on. Or part of what's going on. Echo all tbat march said. Also, its an implantation clinic, they look closely at decidualisation, or how the link g prepares for pg, as well as at uNK cells.

To be continued..

(I do try not to do such mammoth posts, honestly)

link g? lining even..

I can't keep up with this thread! Will work backwards but for now...

brummie - sorry to hear af hasn't turned up yet, the one time you actually really want it too. I do think mc can screw with your cycles. My first af after this last mc was really light which I put down to them having taken out most of the lining with the erpc (when I had a scan a couple of weeks after, lining was only a few mm, so kind of makes sense to me). Had second af last week and was much heavier (well - heavier for me, as they are normally pretty light even when not on the mc merry go round). Really hope it turns up soon so you can move on with coventry.

flen - so sorry u got a bfn. It's such a body blow each time isn't it.

twilight - congratulations on the job offer. Shorter commute + more cash is pretty persuasive! Seems like fate to get the offer on the day that you were thinking of packing the old job in.

x

I think it was march who mentioned my due date. You're right, it is tomorrow! No signs of imminent arrival though, so I'm off for a sweep sometime tomorrow, hopefully in the morning. I'm worried that I'm not "ripe" yet and will get sent away, but we'll see...

Twilight, great news about the job offer. Really pleased for you!

Sorry, I'm feeling a bit thick this evening so instead of demonstrating it by making some dumb ass comments I'll sign off now.

Good luck, Tanny!
Twilight, that job sounds like fate to me. Good luck with it.

Hope the sweep gets things going for you tanny how exciting! I can't wait until your baby is here :) X

Thank you all for your beautiful, empathetic messages. I worked from home this morning which went OK but then I ran a couple of errands this afternoon and by 6 I was losing my grip again so I have come to bed.

twilight I'm right there with you. I don't see how working is a possibility when the rug keeps going from under your feet and the walls fall in. I'm trying to figure out some options for myself so your question to everyone about their choices was really helpful for me (and the answers too!). Congrats on your job offer, I echo what everyone says about the commute. I hope it goes OK as you weigh it all up.

Oh brummie your poor head! Pleased other people are able to advise some.

Good luck for Wednesday bythesea

All the best tanny, getting excited for you.

Thanks again to you all for your kind wishes and hugs.

counting - hope you have dh there to look after you this evening. Big hugs to you. x

Thanks, sun. He is indeed. I've given him detailed instructions and so we'll be eating sausages and lentils at some point. Hope you have a nice eve.x

Twilight-I would take the new job offer as a sign. Hopefully the first of positive news?

Brummie- agree with your sister on this one & step away from Dr Google for the time being.

Tanny- can't believe tomorrow is d-day. Fingers cross the sweep happens.

Waves at everyone else x

Sorry meant to say Counting, big hugs lovely lady coming your way. Only you can decide what's best for you but plenty of hand holding whilst you decide x

Thanks girlie. X

Hugs counting hope a relaxing evening helps your head.

tanny wow, big day tomorrow (hopefully). Good luck

brummie hope you get to speak to your consultant and he can give you some answers. Fingers crossed it is just a wtf cycle though and af will come soon.

twilight awwh your boss sounds lovely. Like someone said earlier tho, you shouldn't feel bad about taking the other job. Congratulations on that btw! I'd say, go with your gut. It is a bit of a sign it coming up the day you're considering jackin your job in.

tanny good luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you!

counting hope you have a more relaxing evening and manage a good nights sleep.

baking still thinking of you and Faith. X

Andcounting - blood and tears coments really moved me. I am so, so sorry for your pain.

Twilightstruggle - every evening just now i decide that tomorrow i'm throwing a sickie. Today i cleared my desk of urgent things and prepared the way so i could be off tue-fri. I bet i still go in. Its like whatever's going on in my head and heart my body just keeps following its routine. But what i really need is some headspace.

Its two weeks today that i started my third m.c, tomorrow was supposed to be my dating scan and i still feel crap. But i noticed this morning, i do feel crap, but not as completely shite as ladt monday.

twilight give me courage when the world is rough, keep me loving when the world is tough seems quite apt, and brings back memories of Sunday school Thank you. It sounds like you have a choice of very flexible job with nice boss, or better job with more money and less commuting. There are positives on both sides, but the fact you need a change suggests the new job might be brilliant timing?

andcounting glad you are feeling a bit better and that your DH sounds like a gem.

freckle Small steps, it will get better bit by bit.

twilight That sounds great! I'd go for the job, more money and the gift of time?! Why not? What's the worst that can happen?
I changed careers after my first mc, the only good thing that ever came out of it - it gave the the kick up the bum that I needed to get out of my awful job that I hated with a passion.

flen Here's some and . It's shit, isn't it. Af arrived today, so no further doubt for me. Like you, we had made such a sterling effort this month, and in the past, that would have gotten me pg. I am about to get a bit more Draconian on DH - see if I can get him to cut out the alcohol and the caffeine... And maybe get his swimmers tested. Of all the things we have looked at, this is one of the few things that we haven't done, would you believe it!

counting Yes and yes. Sometimes it is just all so bleak and hopeless. We have now been ttc for over 2.5 years. It doesn't sound much, but when you've been to hell and back a couple of times, it's a lifetime. I have lost out on so much potential for happiness, and I will never get that time back. I am wondering more and more how long I will be able to keep this going.

tanny Fingers crossed for your sweep tomorrow! I am going on holiday next week, and I would ideally like to hear the news of baby tanny's arrival before that!

Just wondering, has anyone heard from bellende recently? She used to be a regular on here, but hasn't been around for a while! Hope you're OK, belle

Good luck today Tanny

Cd 31 for me and no AF yet

I'm now officially on my longest cycle ever

cloud I had the same thought about getting OH to get his swimmers tested! Realistically I know we have got pregnant twice, so they must be alright, but I think I just want to feel like we're doing SOMETHING.

Thank you bootles, that is helpful.

I think we are going to take a ttc break for a month and go to Coventry. This also means that we definitely won't be pregnant when the Easter holidays happen, so we could even go away, which I think we need to be honest. The whole of the last 14 months have been about ttc and being pregnant and losing babies (like you so beautifully put it andcounting: blood and tears). I think some time out to do Coventry then go away and not think about it might do us the world of good.

brummie it must be such a head fuck. I was all over the place last month when AF was four days late. I was mainlining vitamin C and pom juice! Hang on in there and go to your GP if you can.

tanny hope it goes well today!

Phew, long post!

I've started the crazy amounts of vit c so hoping that will help.

Seeing consultant on Monday and I doubt Id get a docs appt before then anyway plus I'm travelling overseas for work on thurs / fri so it'll be my Monday appt

But yes I completely agree - for last 10 months it's been about either being pregnant or losing babies. I feel like I have nothing else to show for it