Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 18 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bakingtins]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Ps thanks Brummie and everyone else. Yes I wasn't kidding, and I know it seems crazy to have it happen easily and to know almost instantly that I'm pregnant, I am just so grateful that Monica and Mr Watts didn't dismiss as some crazy woman with wishful hoping, and took my instincts seriously, I feel like we at least stand a chance of holding onto this baby, although there is a part of me wondering if Sod's law will occur and despite us taking all the medication, this egg turns out to be a bad one and has chromosome issues and will still not make it. The 18th March can't come soon enough, just really hope it's not game over before then.

Everything crossed for you that this one is a sticky loopy

And for you tomorrow flen

Yes Loopy I was tested for same as you, my results are back but I've not had them as hospital did them. I've spoken to Monica about them and all she would say is "they are within normal ranges" she did however say there was a note on the results and as she didn't know what it meant she wasn't going to tell me.

I think I need to see how timings fall and what Mr Watts says

But Loopy my love, remember today you are pregnant xx

Flen good luck tomorrow!!

Freckle with each mc my patience has worn a bit thin. I have no time for people who feel uncomfortable. Why do they feel uncomfortable? I've lost 3 babies, not them!!!

To be honest the best responses I've had are
"That is really shit and I'm so sorry" or actually "I don't know what to say" - do yo know what? I'd rather someone said that

Belated update from me: so went back for another internal scan yesterday. Doc said he could see something small still in there. Pretty much ruled out ectopic as checked my ovaries again v thoroughly. He gave me the options: wait to see if I pass whatever is still inside naturally, or have an ERPC. I decided to provisionally book an ERPC for next Thursday, but if something passes between now and then I can always cancel it. I am due back at the EPU on weds morning for another check and I guess we will know for definite then. Meanwhile the bleeding seems to be finally coming to an end.

Hoping I don't have to have the surgery on Thursday cos Friday is my birthday and I really didn't plan to spend it recovering from anaesthetic! But at the same time I'd rather they got rid of whatever's left and if possible send it off for tests.

Glad it's not ectopic roncon. Your plan sounds sensible. Hugs, it can't have been an easy day.

brummie I think the same as loopy. If I had short cycles I think I would wait one more to get the best possible chance. Up to you though and I chose differently so totally understand why you might too.

Sorry about the bfn cloud.I really feel for you. Fx for the Mri as small mercy.

Sorry you had a scare too purple. Pleased it was ok in the end.

Going through 3rd mc at 12 weeks although baby at 8 weeks, previous mc 8 weeks and 5 weeks. I am wracking my brains to find a reason which i know is usual behaviour but am terrified that I may of come across a strong possibility. Myself and husband are o negative blood type so when asked about anti d during dd pregnancy I told them this and was told that was ok didn't need it, they do generally recommend for all regardless but that's only in case mother isn't 100% sure who dad is.

Have just seen that dad can rarely have traces of anti even if Rhesus negative, and this is ringing alarm bells as his cousins first and second child had Rhesus disease although time be fair the dad was positive blood type. Does anyone know if foetus is o negative if it can still be attacked by antibodies? From what I've seen brain damage and anemia are mentioned but does it increase your chance of miscarriage. Really hope there's someone out there who knows about this as am in agony physically and emotionally.

Sorry to hear about the bfn cloud, although still early days, but i know it hurts anyway.
Good to hear from you roncon, i was wondering how it went. Glad they have found something and ruled out ectopic. Keeping my fingers crossed that it will pass before you have to have the erpc,but seems like a sensible plan.
With hindsight I'd say do Coventry brummie, especially as your tests came back normal, but obviously it wasn't what i chose so can't blame you for wanting to get on asap!

Good luck for the test flen x

Another classic mum comment yesterday when she said they'd been discussing it (not sure who 'they' are!), and it was probably being caused by stress. So if I just stopped trying and stopped worrying about it, that's when it would happen. Not helpful. No 1, it's not caused by stress and no 2, by saying that, you have just made me more stressed that I'm to blame for this. Thanks mum. I should never have told her about this one.

Really Sorry to hear about you losses ditsy. I'm sorry, but i know nothing about rhesus negative situation. Hopefully someone will be along who knows more. I know there are a lot of other causes of recurrent mc even when you have already had other dc,so try not to be so hard on yourself that it's that that caused it. worth speaking to a specialist if you can. You should also be referred for the standard nhs testing now.
You say you are just going through the mc at the moment. I know this is probably the last thing you want to think of at the moment, but if you are able to get the foetus tested then this could help identify the cause if it is chromosomal. Massive hugs to you x

Ditsy, sorry to hear you're going through another mc. Re rh neg, I know you're desperately searching for answers, but I suspect that its not that. I'm rh neg and they only do the anti d (if its needed) after 28 weeks under normal circumstances. I've had it done during the surgical mgmnt for my MCs, too. After three MCs, I'd say there probably is some kind of a cause, but I very much doubt its rh related. If possible, insist that genetic tests are carried out on the baby. Also, ask to be referred for RMC tests (Lupus, clotting, thyroid etc.). If these throw up nothing, try Coventry's self funded (£360) implantation clinic where they take a uterine biopsy to check for normal post ov changes and levels of uNK cells. Lots of us have been down that route and found success. Good luck to you and look after yourself.

march same from my mum yesterday... GRR. It is so frustrating when family a) don't get it and b) make it worse.

So done a Superdrug early test this morning and a BFP is meant to be a vertical line in the test window and control window. I've got a vertical one in the control window and a faint horizontal line in the test window. No mention of horizontal lines in the leaflet so confused... Will test again tomorrow.

Flen, maybe they've put it together sideways? Good luck for tomorrow, but I'm tempted to say 'a line's a line'....

Hi there ditsy, i am really sorry you are going through this. It is shite. I cant answer your question, i'm sorry - but there are really clued up ladies on here who may be able to. I just finished my 3rd mc too (11 weeks but scan showed didn't progress past 7) and this thread offers real comfort because everyone's going through it. My advice to you is to take as much time off as you need and find someone who will let you talk and rant and vent. There are lots of pregnancies on here too which are silver linings. Xxx

That said, ditsy, next time you are pg, do mention your family rh history as they may decide to to the anti d later in your next pg. They can also test you to check you have no antibodies.

Welcome ditzy, sorry for your losses. Sorry can't help you but I'm sure one of the ladies will come along soon.

Flen, I would be tempted to test again today. That said I am impatient at best of times.

Having a low weekend as desperately want to start ttc again. Know it's only 11 days hopefully until I'm back at the consultant but it might as well be 11 years. We're also going away with my parents at the first time after the appointment when I'm due to ovulate, so it will be another month's delay, taking it to 8 months forced break. Blooming consultant better not cancel again either

ditsy welcome and so sorry for your losses. I understand completely wanting to find a reason. I am still searching for answers for my mcs even though I am now 27 weeks pregnant. I know sebsmummy was worried about blood type issues too but i agree with Just that I have only heard of the jab being given after 28 weeks. You are eligible for nhs testing on yourself and the foetus now. If that doesn't provide any answers then the implantation clinic at Coventry could be worth a go. Please try to take heart from the success stories on this thread. One day it will be you. In the meantime we are a good source of support for each other?

flen! How are you going to wait till tomorrow to poas??

Sounds promising flen! By tomorrow it should be a bit stronger so should be more definitive, but confusing that it doesn't look like the picture says it should

Morning all.

AF still not turned up which is really starting to freak me out.

But friend who told me last week I had to be happy for pregnant friend, last night sent me a picture of pregnant friend, cutting her cake at her baby shower. Which of course I decided not to go to.

Why? Why the fuck would you do something like that??? So I'm struggling with losing 3 babies. Struggling with a pregnant colleague and struggling with my resentment over a pregnant friend. Decide not to go to baby shower because it's too painful. But still sent a present because I'm an idiot

Why on earth would you therefore send me a photo of a pregnant woman cutting her cake at a baby shower???????

Tearful this morning and confused about what to do about consultant / Coventry. Plus DP didn't want to DTD this morning and that really upset me.

Going out with failed IVF x 2 friend today for lunch and cocktails. Getting shitfaced is the only answer today

Hugs Brummie people just don't think do they?

March feel your pain!! I was told to relax for many years but it is twaddle that stress causes infertility / mc.

My answer always was that women have babies in war and famine, I could surely not be as stressed as they are in. In the end the correct treatment enabled me to conceive and retain, I have worried myself sick but here I am at 22 weeks and things seem ok.

XxX

Brummie, on your behalf! Tell your 'so called' friend to fuck the fuck off. If I were you I'd spell it out in single syllable words: 'I am finding this really hard just now and I need to you respect that and let me be. I don't want to know. Your actions are causing me emotional distress. I am asking you to stop rubbing my face in it. It is getting in the way of my ability to deal with what is, for me, a very difficult situation. Maybe I will feel differently in the future, but that future is not here yet and so please listen to what I am asking you and give me a break. Leave me alone.'
You can add your own swear words.
I had a similar situation a couple of years ago when a pg friend just wouldn't take the hint and used to email me with scan updates which always began with 'I know how hard this must be for you but today we found out that the baby is fine...' etc. In the end I emailed her point by point exactly why every sentence of her email was so hurtful. She stopped (we are friends again now). I think some people are just unable to take the hint and need it pointed out with no room for confusion.
Good luck and enjoy your cocktails! xx

Crazy thing is, that friend has had an mc herself. 4 years ago with current partner and no dcs yet.

That makes it doubly worse!!!!! Not only why would someone do that, but why would someone who has lost a baby do it?

Does she feel that maybe because she's "over it " does she think I should be too???? I genuinely don't understand.

And I'm getting so upset that AF hasn't turned up yet. I'm 5 days late but still x 2 BFN's and all I want to so is get on with TTC and it's like another kick in the teeth

Fwiw, I'd still go to Coventry. If you didn't have all the tests you could now, whilst you're waiting, I think you'd kick yourself. I know I'm biased as I think Coventry is magic!!
I had a few 32-33 day cycles when recovering from MCs (was 26 days before, eventually settled on 28) and its a head-fuck. Hang in there, get all your testing done. Eat runny eggs, rare steak and get pissed. Get rid of your so-called friend (who sounds like she's making it about her, when it really isn't) and next month hopefully you will be in a better place with all the info you need to TTC. Hugs to you. xx

Let's hope it's just the acupuncture working brummie and that af will be on her way soon. Friend sounds horribly insensitive. Maybe just forcing herself to act like nothing happened worked for her,but it doesn't mean everyone is wired like that! I think just said it very eloquently. She just needs to be told

I agree that you're so close to doing Coventry that you should just tick that one off too. At least you won't be freaking out in the next pregnancy that it might be that causing it, which will hopefully ease the nerves a little during what is going to be a stressful time

Congrats loopy

ron I'm glad ectopic has been ruled out and you have some explanation for your HCG levels. I hope it passes naturally and you avoid the ERPC.

brummie people with an EQ that low really do need it spelled out. I hope either AF or a BFP turns up soon, but maybe it puts you in a good position to miss a month TTC and consider Coventry.

ditsy welcome, and sorry for the losses that bring you here. You can relax on the rhesus front, it's not possible for 2 rh-ve people to have an rh +ve baby, and it's only a problem if you are rh - ve and baby is positive. The reason they still test is a significant proportion of babies are fathered by someone other than the stated OH but if you know you are both RH-ve then forget it. I hope you have had the wheels set in motion for some testing, including if at all possible genetic testing on your recent loss, and that it brings you the answers you need. I'm sure we have all done the middle of the night fretting about something, we can completely identify with the need for answers.