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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 18 - tests, treatment, trying again.

999 replies

bakingtins · 20/02/2015 18:57

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

OP posts:
ourdaywillcome1983 · 25/02/2015 10:18

Hi sun thank you, definitely grateful of the handholding. Yes i will be 12+1 by LMP, by the dates they gave me on my scan last week ill be 12+5

Hopefully baby had swam away, cant help but worry. Everytime i feel something move (gas im hoping) i think of the flutter that other people have felt when the baby has stopped growing and panic that thats what ive just felt. Just want it to be tomorrow so i know whats happening.

Marchgirl · 25/02/2015 10:23

Hand holding for tomorrow ourday. Scanxiety is totally normal and is pointless us trying to placate you, but we'll be right there with you x

ourdaywillcome1983 · 25/02/2015 10:24

Thank you March its early in the morning so wont have long to wait at least x

longestlurkerever · 25/02/2015 10:28

Good luck ourday!

I have never abstained (i had never heard you were meant to and first trimester is long enough as it is!) But we discussed on the pg after mc thread a while ago and most people were abstaining.

ourdaywillcome1983 · 25/02/2015 10:34

Thanks longest did they abstain throughout? Or just first tri? i would like to while my body still resembles what it did the last time we dtd but not sure im brave enough.

TinyTear · 25/02/2015 10:42

Even at 17w a midwife had difficulties finding the HB... that is why i wouldn't want one at home...

I abstained throughout BTW... last time with DD I did it a few times but felt uncomfortable, but this time I haven't done it at all... there are other ways to keep DH happy and me as well without going all the way... I'd be too scared...

longestlurkerever · 25/02/2015 10:43

I think most were back in the saddle at 12 weeks! Agree it requires a bit more imagination later on! The only thing I would warn you about is that I sometimes get Braxton hicks during or just after which can be a bit disconcerting as I don't get them any other time but that wasn't until second trimester. Sorry for tmi!

ourdaywillcome1983 · 25/02/2015 10:52

Thanks tiny i know i am stupid for even trying to find it, especially since i said i wouldnt try and use it again. I honestly wont be using it again if all is well tomorrow, its made my panic even worse.

yes DH is happy to wait until the end, hes said that all along - ive never asked my consultant as theres always a student doctor in with us who looks about 15 so ive never asked, ive read its best not to if youre high risk and i know we are. I was just feeling fat and gross last night and had the realisation that if all goes to plan i will be feelling that way for much longer.

Aw longest i bet that is quite frightening, everything frightens me as it is - as you will all have guessed from my posts so i think im best not altogether.

longestlurkerever · 25/02/2015 10:59

It's ok because I had exactly the same back in the innocent days with dd when nothing at all panicked me so I know it's normal for me. Is so weird thinking back. I had low hcg and measuring small for dates in first trimester with dd but never believed it would turn out anything but well. Couldn't be more different now!

I have a doppler though don't tend to use it now I have regular movements. I first found the hb at 14 weeks and that took a while.

ourdaywillcome1983 · 25/02/2015 11:04

bet you wish you could get some of that relaxed feeling back, i would love to just enjoy it instead of spending every minute panicking!
i found it Monday night, it was a little speed train, about twice the speed of mine. But last night nothing, a fast swoosh annd a noise like wind howling, which is what i could hear theother week. Hopefully the noises i did hear were placenta. Its going in the bin. Ive googled and lots of women are the same, find it one day and then not for another few days. That made me feel a smidge better.

TinyTear · 25/02/2015 11:10

ooo a train... old wives tales say train is a boy a a horse galloping is a girl Grin

ourdaywillcome1983 · 25/02/2015 11:17

Really Tiny! Ive never heard that. Well ive said it will be a boy from the start (DH has fast sperm according to the tests weve had). i dream its a girl in every dream which my mum says means i will have a boy. My best friends mum had MS that was much worse when the temperature changed (moving between rooms, stepping outside, showers etc) which is what i have and she only had this with her daughter but not her son.

Brummiegirl15 · 25/02/2015 11:18

Come on Tanny how exciting!!!!!!

This is very silly but I'm shit scared I'm pg. only because my AF is due today and hasn't arrived yet. Which yes I know is me being irrational.

I've gone from desperately wanting to be pregnant to wait, not yet!!!! The thought of falling pregnant before seeing consultant / Coventry really upsets me.

I think I may need to do a test to reassure myself that I'm not pf yet. WTF.... I'm a weirdo

Brummiegirl15 · 25/02/2015 11:18

Pf? Pg obviously. Bloody iPhone

bythesea82 · 25/02/2015 11:22

Hi all, I found the discussion about putting people in the same group really interesting. I work in clinical trials and so conversations like this come up a lot about splitting patient groups down into increasly specific groups. Let’s hope that this is on the horizon with some of the trials which are being done in RMC. pop also agree, although we’re all different, it’s nice to be part of group, albeit a really unappealing one which no one is going to try hard to join!

tanny thinking of you……..

purple what a horrible awkward situation to be put in when you had done everything you could to avoid it and help your colleague. Angry

sebs glad that it’s over and it’s helped you start to feel a little more like yourself. Remember to still give yourself the time you need to process it all mentally.

monton hope you are ok.

freckle done envy you your job at this time, hope you are getting through ok. I work from home on my own and although there are days it allows too much thinking time, not facing anyone is also quite nice.

ourday big hand holding for tomorrow (now I have an image of you being held by one of those big blue hands that used to be on Gladiators Hmm) but blue hands aside, will be thinking of you and really wishing you a brilliant scan to tick off a big milestone.

Back in EPU for a scan this afternoon, should be 7+6 by my dates so hoping to see a bit more this time. Feels like I am cheating going for a scan when there's nothing wrong (I hope), have only ever been before for bleeding etc, being offered weekly scans just seems too easy, hoping that this is all the treatment I need...

Sorry if I have missed anyone, tiny I love a good old wives tale! Will try and keep up a bit better [waves]

bythesea82 · 25/02/2015 11:24

brummie sorry crossed posts. I don't think that's weird at all, that's how I felt with this BFP as it was so much faster than others. Good luck and we'll be here for you either way Smile

Frecklefire · 25/02/2015 11:40

One of my closest friends has her due date the same as mine was, we were enjoyinh the journey together. Im still really happy for her, but not sure what emotions might flare up in september. I dont want to in any way spoil her journey though, brcause it is her first and i am blessed with my ds. Finding work so hard. Last week was easier as i was off (it was half term) and i was stayinh with my parents with all my really close old friends near by. This week, and i swear i'm not having dark or upsetting thoughts, but the emotions are there just the same. I have a headache like i've been crying (i havnt cried once, horemones?) My chest and throat keep heaving like i'm going to cry. Anf this is really hard at the front of a classroom of 28 teenagers, 5 lessons a day. My confidence is just crumbled. I just feel like i want to hide. Its hard to assum the strong, confident persona i need to do my job. I dont know if im feeling a bit of depression. I thought i was doing ok, but i just dont feel capable!

Lovemylittlebear · 25/02/2015 11:41

Good luck with your scan, I hope it goes well x

TinyTear · 25/02/2015 11:46

bythesea, don't feel guilty, if they offer the scans, take them
good luck

(and my DD did sound like a horse, so much we called her my little pony when in utero)

Marchgirl · 25/02/2015 12:16

Good luck with the scan bythesea

Sorry work is so difficult freckle. Are you having any counselling? I thankfully don't work with kids but definitely feel a huge drop in confidence. Just feeling completely ineffective and lost. Spend my days thinking of pregnancy, mc, babies etc and checking mn for updates on tanny can't even imagine how much harder it must be to have to face a load of teenagers.

cloudjumper · 25/02/2015 12:30

Wow, one day of not checking the updates, and tanny goes into labour?!? Go girl, you can do this! Not long now, and you will meet your baby! Good luck, will be thinking of you Flowers

sebs So glad that you are feeling a bit more upbeat now - I found that once I had had the ERPC, a weight had been lifted. At least the physical bit is over now, you can draw a line under that. The uncertainty and the waiting really take it out of you. Hope your emotional recovery will be as easy as possible...

ourday Honestly, step away from the Doppler. No midwife would try to listen for a heartbeat that early, it just causes unnecessary upset! Even at 16 weeks it can be a hit and miss.
Good luck for your scan tomorrow!

monten These occasions are always such a kick in the teeth. Look after yourself.

ourdaywillcome1983 · 25/02/2015 12:56

Brummie why not test for peace of mind and that way if you are you could get in touuch with your consultant right away for progesterone if it was necessary.

Bythesea let us know how you get on, mutual (biig blue foam) hand holding :)

i know cloud im a glutton for punishment, so stupid, hopefully tomorrow confirms that i shouldnt have worried myself.

Brummiegirl15 · 25/02/2015 13:20

Have tested, and I'm not. Shot out to Boots at lunch and basically have just peed £7 down the toilet but the relief is incredible.

Which is bonkers considering in 2 months time I'd be distraught with a negative

longestlurkerever · 25/02/2015 13:24

Brummie - I had a bit of a scare in my wtf cycle too and it really brought home to me how much I didn't actually want to be pregnant before my tests so was helpful in a way.

ourday - this one is a horse as well, and sonographer thinks it's a girl.

freckle that sounds so hard. Do you think you need a bit more time off? Don't feel guilty - your mental health comes first.

Refreshing the page for news of baby tan.

tannyLoo · 25/02/2015 13:31

Sorry everyone, false alarm Blush

I'm sure it'll happen soon but just now everything has ground to a halt.

A bit frustrated and fed up just now...