Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread - Thread 17 - Tests, treatment and trying again

[Flower29]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats

Ah cross posted

Hi ladies, can I join you please. I'll have a read through over the weekend.

I've been on the ttc after MC thread for 6 months and the doc has auggested a referral due to my age (40 next month) Any tips on what to expect would be much appreciated

Hi North I'm another graduate from the TTC after mc - sorry to see you here

Baking I know memories of a happy Faith 3 weeks ago must seem like a lifetime ago but hopefully it will pass quickly. Fingers crossed

I admit I worry about going to Coventry and then struggling to get mess from my GP...

baking - big hugs. For me it's only been a day waiting for an elusive call from a consultant. Can't imagine how frustrating and heart breaking it must be to not be getting the answers you need now for your precious little one. Really hope they pull their finger out and you don't seriously have to wait another 3 weeks to see someone. Just a thought which im sure you've already considered but if you took her into a and e to check the eye rolling, could that help in terms of getting in touch with the right people?

north - welcome and really sorry you find yourself here. Do you mind me asking if your doc is suggesting referral to a recurrent miscarriage clinic or are they talking about a fertility clinic (think ladies over 35 can be referred after 6 months of ttc, not the standard 12?).

I've only been to a rmc but was referred after 2 mc rather than 3 due to age (38). The clinic should do standard nhs tests - blood clotting, thyroid etc but won't look at nk cells, karyotyping (unless fetus has been tested and is chromosomally abnormal). For more advanced tests you would need to go privately.

X

Thanks Baking that really helps. makes sense what you said about the standard protocol they give.

Rolling eyes must be so worrying, surely they'll see you sooner if there's a new symptom? Hope you get a response from the video soon.

Sun I'm similar in that I'm seeing consultant after 2 MCs due to age. Really want to push for karyotyping though, did anyone get this without fetus testing? That would really annoy me seeing as they refused to test fetus.

Brummie understand worries with GP them being reluctant. I've contacted surgery this week to find out exactly which GPs have special interest in women's health as these seem the most sympathetic. Turns out there are 3 but all work part time so long waits for appointments. Still, worth it if it's means getting better care.

I'm in an angry mood today, hope this isn't showing through too much! Am hoping it's a sign of AF on its way.

Just posting a big hug to barking so sorry it's not what we'd hoped. PM me if you ever want to chat. X

I'm not sure I ov this cycle, but we put in mega TTC effort. I think I'll wait to see what the outcome is and if negative go for it. Thank you for the advice baking.

It's daft. A part of me wonders when I'll wake up because all this heart break and stress can't be real can it?! But it if I do nothing and I mc again and there was something I could have done to reduce the chances of it happening, it would probably break me even more.

You ladies on here are truly amazing people. So much advice and, sadly, experience. You just don't get this level of decent real and totally relevant advice anywhere else. Enough said.

Hi jady. They did the karotyping on us, but that was because they weren't able to culture the cells from the foetus. Might be worth asking if they would consider doing it due to your circumstances of not being allowed to have the foetus tested. It's a long shot as presumably it was a money reason in the first place (grrrr, so annoying), but worth asking I think.

Sorry to hear faith is having other symptoms baking. I really hope they bring forward your appointment in light of this. Maybe this symptom will help them diagnose quicker. It must be incredibly scary for you all

Just, I would say go for it with the job! You will need time to get back into the job after mat leave whichever one you go back to, so may as well be going back to a higher paid one.

Sorry you find yourself here north, but everyone here is so lovely and supportive. What is your history?

baking sorry to hear Faith is still having worrying symptoms. I echo the suggestion of a and e sometimes being the best route to the dr but maybe you need too much of a specialist? Hugs, hugs and more hugs.

Welcome north. Sorry you find yourself here but glad you have a constructive gp. The nhs do a fairly standard set of tests - clotting disorders, thyroid function, insulin, possibly hormones and scans to look at uterus shape, which could also look at the womb lining. If they all come back clear then you could consider self funded nhs testing for nk cells and implantation at Coventry.

jady even privately st Mary's didn't recommend karotyping to me on the basis that the only real treatment for a disorder would be selective ivf which my consultant thought would be too drastic to prescribe for me at the stage I was at (I already have a dd so any genetic condition would not have a 100% failure rate. I don't know whether that factored into his advice).

Thanks all for the kick up the bum re career. I will try and speak to my boss. He may not recommend I apply yet anyway but will try and pin him down to a timescale I should be working towards either way. I think it's one of those cases where, being a woman, my natural tendency is to wait until it's a slam dunk but a bloke would give it a whirl and ultimately get ahead and I resent that on behalf of womankind! I wouldn't actually apply for a new post before going on mat leave though so no extra mat leave pay.

baking I can't imagine how stressful trying to get help must be. Is pitching up at a&e an option? Might get you back in the system a bit sooner.
Hello to the newbies. Sorry you find yourselves here, but you are in the right place.
Should be moving to new house next month. Will need to go and do a measure up. Will have to face up to the nursery. In six months of house hunting I never set foot in one.

Baking-hope you hear back soon. Big hugs being sent your way.

Welcome North. Ladies here will be able to give you lots of advice. I'm in the process of going through my referral, so can't give you much advice myself x

Bellende-ooh exciting.Don't stress of you don't want to do nursery until after baby has arrived. I didn't with DD as couldn't face it and as they sleep with you when newborn, we did it afterwards. Would recommend getting their bits and pieces before. I left it to 37 weeks and DD arrived at 38 weeks so that was leaving it a bit fine!

Sorry, just realised I said just not longest about the job!

Thanks for all the support you lovely lot. I've had a full on day at work and I expected to dissolve into tears as soon as I got home, but the tears haven't really come. The idea of calling my mum to tell her is making me well up though. Anything to do with my family sets me off. My dad does not have long left to live, this just makes it more likely he will never live to see a grandchild, which just kills me .

tanny and longest you are right, overanalysing is completely pointless. Even if the uti had anything to do with it, there is absolutely nothing that I could have done about it and I doubt those two sachets of cystopurin at 3dpo did anything The bottom line is that iui has a success rate of 13%. It's not great.

twilight we have the option of another round of iui but we've I've decided I can't face it to move on to IVF. All the needles/scans/blood tests and uncertainty of iui don't seem worth it for the 13% chance of success. If I'm going through all that again I'd rather do it on a larger scale and go for the better chance of success. We'll speak to someone at the clinic tomorrow.

flower did you have the option of a 3rd iui? I don't know if I'm being silly skipping it, but there has to be a limit. By June we'll have been ttc #1 for 3.5 years. That's my cut off. After that we'll accept somehow that it's not going to happen like that and start the adoption process at the end of the year once the required 6 months after ivf have passed.

sun I hope you're feeling less stressed than you were earlier, it's so frustrating when you have partial information that scares you and can't speak to anyone who can explain the implications.

longest I say go for it. You never know with these things until you try!

baking the worry is horrendous enough without having to also find the energy to fight for answers all the time. I hope you get a reply soon.

It's taken me so long to write this I'm sure I'll have x-posted with plenty of people and appear very out of date!

Barking you brave old thing. I am sorry to hear about your dad too. Mine never lived to see his grandchild either (in fact dd has no granddads) and I do get a pang of jealousy when other children mention going to visit theirs. Life is not very fair eh? Wishing you every success with your ivf. There still could be a happy ending.

barking we did our iuis privately as we couldn't have it on nhs so we did it whilst we were waiting to reach the top of the list for ivf. After our last iui we were told we should wait two cycles before we could try again by which point we were nearly at top of list but then got a natural bfp. Considering there's not a huge difference between the two in terms of injections etc I'd probably go with ivf given the higher success rate. We're 4 years ttc this summer and also thinking about giving it until the end of the year before starting the adoption process.

Hello

Maybe join please?

Age 40, Dh 44
Dd born 2009 when I was a sprightly 34 after 6 months of trying
Been TTC for 4 years for a sibling, MMC at 12 weeks in 2012, embryo died at approx 6. Managed miscarriage at home.

Diagnosed as "unexplained secondary infertility" and dismissed by Nhs. Jan 2015 ruptured ectopic at 6 weeks. Surgery and Fallopian tube removed.

Need to call it a day really now. V down in the dumps as friends and family are making reproduction look as easy as shelling peas. Feeling somewhat inadequate and isolated and haven't even told my siblings (all with two kids each) or friends (all with multiple kids) (except reluctantly two as I needed some logistical help) about the miscarriages because, for some reason, I feel ashamed that I can't do it. I get lots of comments about the fact i have an only child, people (even strangers!) telling me it's selfish to only have one, she'll grow up lonely, it's a shame, she needs a sibling, your eggs aren't getting any younger etc etc.

Not sure I can go through being pregnant again and facing another miscarriage or life threatening situation like last week's.

Hello Daisy. So sorry you find yourself here. You have come to the right place though. I know what you mean about feeling ashamed but the women on this thread kick ass.

I don't think straight after a terrifying and painful ordeal is the best time to make long term decisions. Be kind to yourself and see how you feel when you're physically over the ep.

I don't have much experience of fertility testing though some others on the thread do and will be along shortly. As for rmc there are standard tests that the nhs normally only do after three mcs but you can sometimes get a referral after two if there are other issues such as fertility.

Implantation issues, ranging from low progesterone to raised no cells, can cause both trouble conceiving and rmc. I have pcos and although I can conceive naturally my cycles are long and I normally take a few to get pregnant. I think it's the hormonal imbalance that has also caused my miscarriages, though I am pregnant now and so far so good.

There are happy and sad stories on here at the moment. It's lovely and supportive whichever side of the line you're currently on. Welcome aboard.

Welcome Daisy. Sorry for your losses. There are a few of us in similar situation having issues trying for a sibling. As longest says it's only a few days since your last loss and the grief is very raw. I would suggest try focusing on recovering after your last ordeal before making any decisions. You really aren't that much of an old bird x

Welcome to Daisy and North sorry you're here but this lot are amazing.
Baking, you're having such a shit time, I'm thinking about you lots - I'm sorry I haven't been on more, it's been one of those weeks! Another option if you don't want to do a and e, has the consultant got an email? I stalk my ones like that and they respond much quicker than phone calls generally. Hope everyone else is doing ok. I'll have a proper read back later today :)

Morning all, we were actually re admitted last night as Faith had another couple of runs of the original type of spasms. They've put the medication back up to the top dose and we await the consultant for a new plan.
maybe they'll bloody listen to me next time

Oh Baking. Fingers crossed they'll really do something this time. How's she doing now? Xx

Oh no baking I am really sorry to hear this. Will the consultant be able to read the mri and properly consider her case? I really hope you get some reassuring news but what a shame she seems to be stuck with the high dose meds for now. You are in my thoughts. Xxxxxx

Oh baking thinking off you all xxx