Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread - Thread 17 - Tests, treatment and trying again

[Flower29]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats

Barking sending hugs i know only too well the disappointment after iui, but its not completely over yet x

March yay fingers crossed

Tanny speaking to your midwife sounds like a good idea x

My stats
Me 34 dh 36
Ttc no.1 since July 2011
Bfp oct 2012 mmc dec 2012 only showing 5 weeks erpc
Iui bfp march 2014 mc 6 weeks
Unsuccessful iui jun 14
Natural bfp oct 2014 took progesterone and aspirin, heartbeat seen at 7 weeks, mc at 10 weeks but likely to have not got much further than 7 weeks.
Appt with private consultant a couple of weeks ago blood tests taken lupus screen negative still waiting for other results. waiting for nhs appt 19th feb.
haven't stopped ttc but may do coventry next month.
Positive ov test today so dtd then dreaded 2ww

Just marking my place and shouting a massive hurrah to March! Hurrah! Xx

Oh Barking I'm so so sorry xxx

Thanks all. The mw was my regular one who is lovely, and so understanding and non judgemental. She has given me the number of a free counsellor who works there, and got me signed up to a couple of peer support things, which might help, although I'm much more comfortable here with you...

I blubbed with her and all over DH when he got home, and have been feeling bleak and knackered. I tried to have a nap, but no joy. Am hoping that being so tired tonight will be a good thing.

It's DS2's 3rd birthday tomorrow, and I have to get ready for family party on Saturday. Will have to kick all this self indulgent bollocks into touch for then.

My stats (the short version):

Me 42, DH 44
2 DS's age 15 and 3, happy ordinary pregnancies...
Followed by five consecutive MCs in just over a year, all early (before 6 weeks). Standard tests turned up nothing special so went to Coventry for final push.
Under Coventry protocol, I have sustained this pg and am now 36 weeks. Obviously I am a success story, just a bit screwy from my experiences...

Congratulations March. Welcome to the roller coaster that is the 12ww. Glad you're feeling excited. Wishing you a smooth, healthy, happy and stress-free pregnancy.

I'm really sorry to hear about your bfn today Barking. I have everything crossed it's just the fact that it's 12dpo and not fmu. Hugs.

Tanny - I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. Very understandable though with the history.

Hugs to those who had rough nights last night. Hoping you all have better ones tonight.

Stats: currently 8w pg after four mc (6-11 weeks). All natural (if my body is good at one thing it's miscarrying). Under St Mary's, London. Septum removed but otherwise all clear and on progesterone and extra folic acid.

Glad you've got some support tanny, and fingers crossed you get a better night's sleep tonight. Things always seem more bleak on no sleep, so hopefully you'll feel a bit better tomorrow. Maybe having the birthday celebrations will also be a good distraction. Happy birthday to your ds. Hope you all have a lovely day x

Barking really really sorry :(

Tanny glad you have understanding MW, you can't underestimate TLC.

Congrats March fx for the next milestone

My stats
Me 37 DP 45
1st MC Oct 14, natural 6 weeks
2nd MC Jan 15, saw slow heartbeat NYE measuring 6.1 weeks. confirmed MC 6th Jan. ERPC

Now await first AF since Sep. Due tomorrow by my guesswork of calculations.

Started back at work today on a half day basis, reduced duties, phased approach after failing to cope back at work on full time basis.

1st consultant appointment next Monday considering waiting TTC until after 2 AFs so I can visit Coventry, but also desparate to get back on TTC wagon.
Negative test for thyroid antibodies so not on TABLET trial.

waves to all

Just realised I sent my commiseration to the wrong person, duh.
Barking - so sad and disappointing, I feel for you xx

13dpo. FMU. Still bfn. And given it's 5.30am you can probably tell how much I slept last night.
But on the bright side, if this one wasn't going to make a baby I'd rather it failed at this stage than ended up as another mc later on.
Maybe I can get the tears out of the way now so I don't cry at the clinic tomorrow morning while I'm sat waiting for my blood test?
Doesn't feel like much consolation.

flower I can see from your stats you had the same - 1st iui mc and 2nd bfn . It stinks. I can't help but wonder if the uti had an effect - I've been feeling like shit for the last 10 days and had 5 days of antibiotics. Perhaps my body wasn't deemed healthy enough?

Barking, I can only imagine how gutted you must be feeling, I hope you can find a way of moving forward.

I still have some books to pass on:
taking charge of your fertility, is your body baby friendly?, the fertility mind body connection and coming to term. I can get to the post office in the morning, so pm me if you would like me to post one or more to you.

Barking Please try not to over analyse why it hasn't worked this time. Conceiving is so tricky and it is totally bonkers that it happens at all.

I hope you are able to take some time out to process everything. We're all here for you.

Wowzers this has moved rapidly again. Quick Mark of my place and then I'll catch up

Dd born Jan 11 after one ttc month and straight forward naive pregnancy

Ttc since Jan 14
Suspected mmc1 at 5 wks Feb 14
Mmc 2 May 14 found at 9wks. Measured 6 wks. EPCU
Mmc 3 Sept 14 at 11 wks. HB seen at 6 wks. Natural so no time for testing

Forced break after problems getting referred after last mmc. Now had blood tests and she scan and next appointment on 19th Feb

barking I'm so sorry. You are being so brave, looking for a bright side. Sending much loving kindness your way and hankies. Xxx

Barking- totally the pits but as the others have said don't be too hard on yourself. Hope you have a nice weekend planned to distract yourself.

March- big thumbs up x

Tanny- hope today is a better day. Not surprised you're having a wobble. 3 year old birthday party set me over the edge, let alone being 36 wks pregnant! X

Oh Barking. I'm so sorry it's looking like iui hasn't worked this time. How utterly rubbish for you. Assuming something amazing doesn't happen in the next couple of days, do you know what the next step would be? If you're not up to thinking about it yet don't feel you have to respond to that. Big hug.

barking sorry it's another bfn this morning. It does look like we've had similar journeys I had six failed clomid cycles before iui. I had felt things weren't going to be successful with 2nd iui I don't know why but its hard not to get your hopes up. Mcs are so hard but I think when you struggle to get pg in the first place it makes the desperation different I think, not worse just different. My last bfp was natural just before we were due ivf so I'm not sure what to do now we will do ivf but I'm not sure when. Sending you big hugs x

Oh barking I'm so sorry. How utterly deflating.

AF arrived today so I'm out. I just called Coventry and will be seen post-ov. I'm not sure what my consultant will think of this. He doesn't think there is a problem (2mcs, the 2nd a chemical pregnancy as it didn't show up on the scan). I'm not sure myself - but then again I think why wait?

Tanny happy bday DS2!

barking - just big hugs. Really hoping you manage to have some relaxing time at the weekend to regroup and decide on next steps. x

Oh crap - just phoned up and fetal chromosome results are back. RMC secretary wouldn't give them to me on phone and said consultant (who is in theatre today) will call, so presume that tests not normal. Is like torture waiting for phone call back.

Am also presuming that there will be a chromosomal problem as had an unexpected letter yesterday with some sperm results for dh, which had done at the start of the year. Thought we had them all back and they were fine - good sperm count, motility etc. but then out of the blue got another set of results saying he had a significantly elevated sperm aneuploidy rate versus fertile controls. Which apparently means a lot of his sperm are chromosomally abnormal.

Gutted and completely confused as to whether to ttc this month - of course also got a high on opk this am, so not too much time to decide.

Sorry af arrived me2 . But glad you have a plan. I don't think it's unreasonable to want to do everything you can to avoid another one. Sounds like what anyone would do in your position. I hate it when people suggest there's no problem and roll out the 'bad luck' line. Hope Coventry brings you some answers and/or a good treatment plan

sun my consultant's secretary coukdnt give them me over the phone either, and my consultant rang instead but my results were chromosomally normal so it might not mean anything...
That makes it very tricky with the speed results though. My OH hasn'tbeen tested at all, makes me wonder if he should be...

Sorry, cross post sun. How unhelpful of them to just send you a result like that sperm one without any kind of follow up from the consultant about what it means for you. Glad you will get to speak to the consultant now and hopefully get some clarity. Such a hard time for you to know what to do x

Thanks ladies. flen - I just assumed if dh was getting me pregnant, that was it for him - job done. Didn't even cross my mind that his sperm could be the / part of the problem and was pretty dismissive about the sperm tests (had actually more or less forgotten about them). Now desperately googling sperm aneuploidy but doesn't seem to be much about it on internet, so dont think is widely tested. As with everything with mc - probably experimrntal / not enough evidence ect. Feels like a complete body blow though.

Bah, thread is not living up to its early promise. Barking I am so sorry. I have had lots of BFNs and some of them, when I have convinced myself I have had lots of symptoms, have been really gutting, so I can only imagine how it feels when you have been through so much already to get to that point. I agree with the others that over-analysing is just beating yourself up. There are endless reasons why you can have done everything right and implantation just does not happen. As you say, sometimes this is for the best and it is because your body is doing its selective thing. Other times it's just really, really frustrating. Look after yourself and see if you can face another cycle when the time comes.

*me2" sorry it's a no for you this cycle too. Sorry if I have missed your stats - could you remind me what consultant you are seeing? If you're happy to sit out ttc this month then visiting Coventry might well be a plan but have you had the other NHS tests already?

Sun - that is nerve wracking. It may just be your hospital's policy with all results though that a consultant will call you back. After all a "negative result" at this point is quite significant as it could mean there is another cause. Interesting about your dh though. My relentless optimism would mean I would be thinking "well, if I keep trying I will get a good one eventually" but I realise that glosses over the heartache that you might have to go through to get there. Has your consultant talked about selective ivf? It's a major step but it might be the advised treatment depending on what your odds of a chromosomal abnormality really are.

Hi longest - I know what you mean. Half of me things just crack on with it and see what happens. But the letter really scared me - higher risk of mc or birth of children with congenital abnormalities. What right do I have to try again knowing this risk to my (as yet unborn, unconceived child). Am I just being completely selfish trying again etc.

Maybe I'm jumping the gun, but guess consultant may suggest ivf with screening. From what I have read it is seriously expensive and often at my age you don't get enough embryos to get to the screening part and don't want to risk screening the one healthy etc.

Have felt so positive since last mc and have now just completely fallen apart again. Almost feel like I wish we had never started on the whole ttc journey as it feels so hopeless to ever get there.

Sorry for me me doom gloom post x