Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread - Thread 17 - Tests, treatment and trying again

[Flower29]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats

ladies, MVA = manual vacuum aspiration = basically an ERPC with local rather than general anaesthetic, so same chance of obtaining products to test. It's a relatively new procedure and not offered everywhere.

Sebsmummy, so sorry to hear what's happened. It's so so hard. I had ERPC's with both my late ones and they were definitely the right choice for me. They could test the babies as they definitely had it (although results were still iffy) and I could enter oblivian of anasthetic for an hour. Sending you hugs and love

Sebmummy- check that the EPU won't offer to cancel all your other appointments for you, it's one of the services that my local unit did, however know one told me the first time.

Baking, glad to hear you're making progress with Faith, although appreciate it's probably slower than you want x

They've just brought that in as the only choice in Calderdale and Kirklees. When I went in to speak to the head of the trust about their complete incompetence when dealing with women with MC it was one of the things they presented to me as how they will change their practice. I pointed out that women need choice and kind staff who listen more. Not one option and still being treated without compassion. Don't think they quite got it but that's a whole different story!

Sorry the I was referring to the MVA!

twilight Hope you are OK - well, as 'OK' as one can be in your situation... Glad to hear that DH is looking after you.

sebs So so sorry that you have this happen to you again, it's beyond devastating. You can't help hoping and praying, and every day of being pg becomes more of a reassurance that it might all be OK after all only for it to be crushed so mercilessly.
I agree with what others have said - for now, just focus on getting through this. It's a tough decision, but if you want the testing, having the medical or surgical management are the best options. Try and get the hospital to get the ball rolling for the rmc testing, if they can, I don't see any point in having to go back to the GP. I know that in some places you have to go via that route, but hopefully, your EPU will get on it - so much less hassle, and so much quicker.
And don't think about if and when you might try again - there'll be enough time for that question One step at a time.

flen Sorry, can't help you with the cervix question, this is not something I have ever tried to look at (or ever want to, for that matter )

Well, I have now come out of another round of SMEP... It was slightly cut short due to yet another bout of urinary tract infection... We should have had another round of dtd last night, but it really would not have been a good idea . Still, we managed 3 times in a row, although started maybe slightly early - however, I tend to fall pg when we dtd before and/or on ov day, so I guess we still have a chance. Here's to another 2ww...

Hi sebs, I echo what the others have said, pushing for a surgical procedure so that they can test the baby for chromosomal abnormalities. And so sorry to hear of your losses

Thank you march! I found the same - shifting over the course of a day. Will stick with temp..,

jady I've been taking maca root, pomegranate juice and cinnamon to regulate my cycle after last month's (3rd post mc) was crazy. Ovulation was back on track this month, so maybe it's helped...

cloud I am feeling super pleased (and exhausted) as we managed 6 times! Thank god for half term or this would never have happened. UTIs are the worst, and not what you need at that time. TWW buddies...

Hi sebsmummy am so so sorry you're here. I remember you from the ttc after a mc thread. You'll find amazing support on this thread and a wealth of knowledge (somewhat sadly). I had products tested after an EPU and it really gave me closure (chromosomally abnormal ). I really hope you get some answers.

Hello to all the other newbies.

flen I'm a cervix checker . It always stays very high after ov but a right before AF drops and gets harder. It's a very unreliable thing to track tho as it can shift during the day. I wouldn't think too much of it.
Good luck for everyone in 2ww.

Does anyone here temp? I bought a thermometer and going to give it a go. It's not conducive to being a bit of an insomniac tho! Do you have to be as militant about doing it at same time and the second you wake up every day?

RE getting referred, I guess it depends on where you want to get referred to. With mine, I wanted to be sent to St Mary's, London, because I'd already exhausted local services. I got my GP to do it, which was easy enough, but the NHS admin system couldn't handle it and I ended up in a feedback loop of being sent letters to go to local services and phoning up and explaining it was St Mary's I wanted. I got there in the end, though, and had my appointment about 3 months later. I have blogged about my experience here.

Flen, I'm not sure about cervix position, but might I suggest that, if you are Ov'ing, perhaps there are better things to stick up there than your finger .

Cloud, sorry you got another UTI. Hope the SMEP you did manage was enough to do the trick.

Baking, hope you get encouraging results at your appointment and Faith continues to improve.

Good luck for the 2ww cloud. Keeping my fingers crossed for you all this month.

Glad faith is making some progress baking, and that you appear to be having a little more action from the hospital.

I second getting the hospital to cancel your appointments sebs. Our psc (epu) always do all that for me,which is so much better than having to have lots of weepy conversations with gp receptionists etc.

Monten, I used to temp but not massively strictly and I didn't keep a chart. I just knew what was vaguely normal for me and used it as a guide along side internet cheapie ov sticks and noticing CM. I did find temping quite useful when waiting for AF, though, as it would drop and AF would arrive about 36 hours later, so I would have a bit of a better idea about that, which I found made the actual arrival of AF slightly less of a blow.

just gave me a good chuckle, that did.

monten I temp. Got a cheap basal thermometer from Amazon (make sure it's a Celsius one...) and I try to take it within first ten minutes of waking up. I am also an insomniac, so I just make a note if I've been up within an hour of waking time. General advice is to be asleep for at least three hours before you take, but I'm sometimes not and it doesn't seem to screw it up too much. I do it in conjunction with the Glow app, and just enter it in there. I think alcohol can change it too, although I haven't been drinking for eight million years now, so can't say what the effect might be....

Oh Sebs yes I do remember you. Can't believe you are here

I know that sinking in quicksand feeling. The utter raw grief and horror.

Big hugs xx

Baking glad little Faith is doing ok. Big hugs for you too. And everyone else!!!

Hi sebs sorry to see you here. I also recognise you from the TTC after MC thread. I don't have any more words of wisdom to offer, but I hope you find it useful being here.

Twilight, hope you're feeling ok.

I'm feeling better after a few good hours of sleep. Amazing how bleak lack of sleep can make you feel.

I temp monten. I think once you get a feel for it then it doesn't matter as much as it does at the start, when you are probably a bit more concerned about potentially getting it wrong. I vary the time i get up because of dh shifts, but it doesn't seem to matter too much as long as I've had a few hours just before. The one I'm never sure about is when I wake up really early (ie 5am). Never know whether to take it immediately or not move and take it later or try to get back to sleep!

Also depends how big your temp shift is. Mine is normally 36.7-36.9 shifting to 37.1-37.4, so it's pretty obvious and i just use a normal thermometer rather than bbt one. Other people have a smaller shift so not as clear. Drinking is the one think that messes it up for me with a falsely high reading, so I'd try and avoid it around temp shift time or it could confuse your readings.
It did help me feel like I was taking control of my body again, but has the potential to get addictive I think

baking Glad to hear that there is some progress, here's to many more improvements!

flen 6 times?!? Wow, I bow to your stamina! No one can say you haven't given it your best shot...

monten I temp as well. I have an alarm set every day for the same time (6am) to take my temperature, but then again I am lucky enough that I can then turn over and go back to sleep without any problems. I do it along side with OPKs, as temping will only really tell you the day you have ovulated in retrospect, when you can see that your temperature rises consistently. But still, it's very useful and has taught me a lot about my cycles. Try the FertilityFriend website and app, it's very good and there's a lot of information on there.
And flen is right, a lot of things affect your bbt... For example, I had a cold during my last cycle, which caused my bbt to stay high towards the end of my cycle, giving me false hope that I was pg... But hey ho!

Glad things are getting a bit better for Faith Baking. I have been thinking about her loads but haven't wanted to keep badgering you. I know it can be hard if people keep asking when there's nothing to report.

Such a lot of sadness on the thread at the moment. Good luck to those in the 2ww. Fingers crossed for some good news this month!

Know what you mean Just, I don't take well to the damsel in distress role either, but it's not so long now. Starting to feel a bit breathless. Had to give a training session at work and hadn't factored in how difficult it would be to breathe and speak at the same time.

Trying to get our house sorted - New doors, new paint, damp fixed, garden sorted - but everything is costing so much more than I anticipated. Think I am going to have to leave some of the hideous fire doors as they are (it was previously a whole load of bedsits) as they are weird shapes and I can't afford bespoke. Hate spending so much money on tedious things like doors and paint. Would rather go on an adventure!

Glad you slept a bit better tanny. Totally agree about lack of sleep. Makes me unbelievably weepy. No wonder insomniacs often get depressed.

Thanks guys. My son has just broken the iPad by slamming it against his stairgate (brilliant) and I don't even give a shit. £300 down the drain and my partners birthday present totally fucked but never mind, least he still has a heart beat eh!

On the plus side I have reread the leaflets I was given and my hospital does offer MVA, so at least that shouldn't turn into a fight. I am waiting for them to ring me back so I shall ask re. RCM clinic. I would definitely prefer to be referred through the hospital than traipse back to the GPs again cap in hand.

I know my age is going to make this journey pretty much impossible now. But hell you've hot to be in it to potentially catch a good egg so I may as well keep going. Least my body hasn't fucked up this time, it still thinks I'm pregnant bless it.

I charted my temp for a few months before TTC again on the advice of my acupuncturist. I have a very slow rise pattern, which makes my ov difficult to detect on FF, even when combined with opks stupid bloody app. It was useful for the acupuncturist to know, and she timed sessions to fit and work on improving my temp spike. Mine varied loads if I had disturbed sleep or woke up early.

Sebs lots of us who are currently pregnant are more advanced in years. I'm 42. Don't write yourself off just yet!

That's pants about the ipad sebsmummy - is it just the screen that is broken? You can get those fixed. Good news about the MVA. Sorry you have to find such shittily thin silver linings though.

Please don't give up hope. Plenty of ladies on this thread are in their 40s - and Tiny and Tanny are about to give birth. If you feel time is of the essence though then you could look into investigations at Coventry in parallel with the RMC referral. You need to be a bit thick skinned for this as the consultants don't always agree and can be quite sniffy about each other, but it's a way to make the most of a gap while waiting to start ttc. That said, I didn't go down this route - was too impatient as my cycles are soooo long and I was going to be away at the first available opportunity. That gamble paid off for me, but I am pleased I had some investigations as would have been terrifying to get pregnant again before ruling some things out.

Glad you're feeling a bit better tanny. When is your actual due date? Is it 3 March? That's dh's birthday.

I think I'm more negative as it took 8 months to fall pregnant this time and it was textbook. Early implantation, no spotting, good corpus luteum, excellent 9 week scan, dead at 11 weeks. Just don't bode well really for getting locked up again quickly and it sticking but like I said, you never know, miracles happen everyday.