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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 16 - tests, treatment and trying again

986 replies

Justonemoretime · 18/01/2015 07:46

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Justonemoretime · 01/02/2015 16:12

Small world if we did turn out to be somehow related!!!

OP posts:
Catlover2014 · 01/02/2015 17:15

Good luck for 20 week scan just, hope you're not too anxious xxx

Catlover2014 · 01/02/2015 17:21

Ugh sorry to moan for no real reason but my down syndrome risk came back as 1 in 4,400 and I was very happy til I looked on my 'birth group' on here. They are all like 1 in 10,000. Humph! X

AndCounting · 01/02/2015 17:37

Sorry, I think my last post came out wrong. The absolute last thing I would want to do is make anyone feel guilty, I was trying to say the opposite. Really sorry. (Note to self, never write anything while tying shoes and running out the door).

AndCounting · 01/02/2015 17:42

cat I think your first response was the correct one. (Moan away)

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 01/02/2015 17:57

Cat, you're fine Smile anything over 1:150 is ok.
AndCounting, you're fine, no misinterpretation at this end :)

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AndCounting · 01/02/2015 18:02

Thanks, just having a wobbly day. Rtn to work starts tomorrow. Feeling very vulnerable.

Marchgirl · 01/02/2015 18:49

Good luck for tomorrow counting. Hope it goes ok. Take it easy and don't push yourself too hard

AndCounting · 01/02/2015 18:52

Thank you, March

bootles · 01/02/2015 18:56

Crossed post this morning brummie glad af is here.

twilight hand holding for scan

barking hour iui clinic know what they are doing. I know you will worry anyway re progesterone but try not to.

tanny mat leave woohoo!

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 01/02/2015 19:03

Good luck tomorrow AndCounting, and everyone going back to work where its a difficult situation.
Twilight, good luck for your 8 week scan! Hand holding.
And hand holding to Belle, who is my 20 week scan buddy this week. Never imagined I'd get even this far.

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Brummiegirl15 · 01/02/2015 19:03

Counting don't beat yourself up. I still feel vulnerable.

When I got panicky and upset on Friday I did the 4-7-8

Breathe in for 4 seconds
Hold breath for 7 seconds
Breathe out for 8 seconds

That forces you to slow your breathing down and forces oxygen round your blood.

It didn't work 100% but it did help a bit and that's better than nothing

Jady77 · 01/02/2015 19:05

Well today half went bad and half well. First part we had afternoon tea and DH thought it a good time discuss my return to work which ended up with me pretty much shouting at him in frustration about it all. HR woman has said they'd support whatever I need for my recovery but of course they have to run a business too, but I need to say what that looks like. E.g part time or work from home a few days or maybe some of the work tasks being delegated. I just can't work out the details, working from home hasn't helped so far with the stress, it's the thinking part I'm struggling with. So talking it over and not finding a solution didn't equate to a relaxing afternoon tea. Eventually DH persuaded me to go swimming and it did help to destress so I'm back to head being in sand now where its warm and fuzzy. Sorry Counting, probably really really unhelpful for you me saying this. I'm due back Thursday now and need to work out how best to go back without having a complete breakdown if possible.

Sorry for the rant especially those of you in a similar position. it's very much 1 step forward 2 steps back at the moment. Book in more counselling tomorrow methinks. Think I need a Christian Grey to make all my decisions for meWink

Brummie my appointment with consultant is next Monday so time before TTC to ask questions, will see what they say about short cycles.

Brummiegirl15 · 01/02/2015 19:14

Jady I did have a meltdown. So big hugs to you and hope you don't.

But actually if you, then you do. My first day was surprisingly ok - probably the adrenaline of being back at work.

It was day 2 it went tits up

AF this morning and already very aware that it's quite light again this month. I'm really quite concerned now that my short light AF's are part of problem

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 01/02/2015 19:23

I remember the early days back after mc#1, I was teaching some 'lively' 15 yr olds RE GCSE and they were being 'chatty' and I said to them 'look, I don't need to go in to my problems, but you know I've been off, and I could really do with you just cooperating today,' and they were all shouting 'what happened, Miss?' etc. and I was close to tears and then one particularly mouthy girl shouted out 'leave her alone! It might be personal!', and it worked, they backed off. It was hardly an Ofsted quality lesson, but I needed to get though it. There were always ups and downs (I teach medical ethics so lots of stuff on abortion etc.) but keeping busy helped, I think. There's no right or wrong way of handling your return to work, but it does get better, one way or another. Hugs to all those in the thick of it.

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Jady77 · 01/02/2015 19:31

Thanks Brummie I actually went back the week before you, 1st day was fine...just catching up with people and emails, but once people knew I was back it was like a company email had been sent to just let rip. Can you do this and that, oh and don't forget that. I struggled through day 3, day 4 was fine again, but couldn't stop and was awake all night obsessing over work/baby thoughts then day 5 I was at home and abandoned my laptop about midday.

I used to think i was really lucky having such light short periods, so many women I know suffer from really painful ovulation and heavy periods. Fingers crossed you and I are still well within the norm. The first AF is going to be different anyway. Your body's going in the right direction.

SashaKerr · 01/02/2015 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catlover2014 · 01/02/2015 20:09

Good luck for scan twilight, keeping everything crossed for you.

I have shared on here before that I think facebook is the route of all evil. People use it to brag and create a false impression about how great life is. It's so depressing if you're having a hard time. I suspected my account two years ago and I've never looked back. So much happier being off there.

Catlover2014 · 01/02/2015 20:19

*suspended not suspected. Dear lord Confused

Jady77 · 01/02/2015 20:25

Cross post Just, that sounds really tough. Hopefully once I get the rational head back on I can keep perspective and care less.

Good luck those with scans this week.

When was your ERPC Sasha? I'm planning to TTC after AF too.

tannyLoo · 01/02/2015 20:39

Hello all, just checking in. Fast moving today, huh??

Hand holding for 20 week scans this week, and also for those stressful work days, and for everyone in the tww. All stressful and horrid in their own unique way...

Twilight good to see you're getting through 1st tri. The slowest, yukky time. Like wading through treacle. Only more slowly.

There is a definite yay about starting mat leave, for so many reasons, but I am also crapping myself, mostly about money, but also because everything is getting a bit painful, making me realise that I will be going into labour before too long. Oh my!

Brummiegirl15 · 01/02/2015 20:47

Envious of those TTC'ing this month. But just one more cycle to go and we will be back on it! Hopefully with a bit of guidance

Marchgirl · 01/02/2015 20:58

The waiting is so hard brummie, but as i think you said the other day, at least you'll have your plan by then and you'll be doing something different to last time Flowers

Exciting and scary in equal measure tanny. Not long now till you get to cuddle your little one. I'm so excited about another thread baby! Have there been other thread babies between baking and you?

tannyLoo · 01/02/2015 21:08

March there have been lots of people who used the thread when they were going through MC, testing and TTC, but they tended to leave once they were past their danger zone. Baking was a trailblazer for sticking with us throughout her pg, and has made us all feel that this can still be our home, even when pg. But the majority of people who were here when I joined have gone on to a successful pregnancy. I can't stress that enough! We will get there!

Brummie I hope the break makes you feel stronger. It did me, and this pg followed my break, so crossing everything for you sweets...

Jady77 · 01/02/2015 21:21

It's a bit of a rock and a hard place with TTC, on the one hand I don't think it will work and on the other if I don't have that 3rd MC will NHS take it seriuosly and do all necessary tests to go on to Coventry.

Really good having those positive stories like Tanny and Baking. My stomach gave a lurch at thought of impending labour though Tan What date are you actually due? My friend just started maternity, she may be due the same day. Lives out in London, but is from round 'ere (My best Somerset accent)