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Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 16 - tests, treatment and trying again

986 replies

Justonemoretime · 18/01/2015 07:46

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
tannyLoo · 01/02/2015 21:54

Calling me Tan gave the game away Jady! Put "our" in front and its my Bristolian name!

The thought of it makes my stomach lurch too. I'm due on 3rd March but I think I'll be early, I was last time.

I don't think you need to wait for three for Coventry (someone will correct me if I'm wrong), but the NHS tests will turn up any of the treatable conditions they recognise like APS, which Coventry don't test for. Not sure that makes sense but I'm a bit tired, sorry.

Lots of people have gone on to have a healthy pregnancy 3rd time round, so don't write it off too soon!

AndCounting · 01/02/2015 22:17

Thanks for support brummie, jady, just and others.

All the best, twilight

I'm teetering on the edge of suspending my FB account also...

bootles · 01/02/2015 22:36

andcounting good luck for work tomorrow.

barking I meant 'your' not 'hour' ..obviously...was on phone..

Tanny 3rd March is lucky as that was DS's due date and he is lovely. He was also 2 weeks overdue... Only natural to feel nervous about labour, have you got one of those chillax about labour CD's? I can't think right now what they're really called. Also I didn't know there were other people who left once pg successfully - good to know. Very glad baking and you everyone else is still sticking around.

bootles · 01/02/2015 22:42

Thanks to everyone for kind comments about the lack of results. Itvtruly helps. Did I say that already? Knackered and rushing.

belle I don't mind at all you saying I could do with a break from TTC...you're probably right but I just don't feel like I can, my age and general panic are driving me on. And no desire to throttle you at all, with your pregnancy joy. You have had such a tough time, you deserve to enjoy this bit, you really do, and its heartening to hear it x

AndCounting · 02/02/2015 07:11

Thanks, bootles.
I'm really sorry they didn't give you your results. I get why it's such a big blow. And you are right, it's incomprehensible unless you've been here. Pleased that the supportive comments and good news stories are helping you on your way. (This board is a lifesaver.) Thinking of you.

Flen · 02/02/2015 07:50

I am entering insanity-land. Three pregnancy tests, three negatives, still no AF. Think my cycle must just be a wonky one this month, last month's was normal so really thought I was back in the swing of things. I am now cycle day 30 and no AF, which is unheard of for me. I am absolutely RUBBISH at this bit, the trying and waiting. It seems to access my most neurotic bits.

( googles "how to bring on period" )

Marchgirl · 02/02/2015 09:36

Sorry you're still in limbo flen. It's just horrible. You just want to know one way or another don't you.
You've probably already thought about this and a million other possibilities, but my understanding is that your luteal phase should remain the same, so if, for example, you're usually 14/14, totalling 28, but you didn't ovulate until 18 this cycle, then luteal should still be 14, totalling 32.
It's not over til the fat AF lady sings! I feel for you. This will be me in a few days Confused

AndCounting · 02/02/2015 12:17

Oh flen it's so horrible this bit. DH makes jokes that I love weeing on sticks and I just love doing it for fun all the time.

longestlurkerever · 02/02/2015 13:54

flen are you still using the digitals?

mrsdiddlydoo · 02/02/2015 13:55

jady I've only had 2mc so understand the being between a rock and a hard place with TTC. My gp won't refer me yet... Which is fair enough in some respects, but I have looked into going to Coventry and you don't have to have had 3 mc. There is a leaflet (I don't understand how to post links Confused) ... Google implantation clinic Coventry and it should come up. That says 1mc or ivf failure. Every time I bring up going with my dh we fall out. I haven't a clue what to do. We seem to be sticking with TTC and hoping every month that passes makes me healthier and more likely not to have another mc (she says sitting on the sofa munching chocolate Swiss roll... Nom nom nom)

Monten · 02/02/2015 14:01

Oh flen you have my sympathies, it’s the worst position to be in. march is absolutely right about luteal phase so if you think you ovulated later you could still be in. The limbo is absolutely awful.
cat I came off Facebook too and have never looked back. It was easy for me as none of my really close friends were ‘users’ so it was purely for voyeuristic purposes. Baby bombs aside (and there were loads) I realized that it made me miserable - people just boasting about what fantastic lives they were having! I realized I never came off it feeling better about myself, always worse. Same with fashion magazines. Now I listen to podcasts and at least feel I’m nourishing my intellect!

Not much to report here. Solid smiley today. Have got some good dtd action in and will try once more tonight for good luck! Then the 2ww insanity begins. just your blog on that was just perfect. My internet search history on my phone also tells that very same story….

Brummiegirl15 · 02/02/2015 14:15

I admit I struggle with fb as well. But I moved to the Midlands from down south a few years ago and all my friends there - well it's how I keep up with them but I am loathe to suspend it. But I still hate it.

Survived my first half day - pregnant colleague isn't really speaking to me so she clearly knows I went a bit loopy on Friday...

I tried to ignore her tighter dress today showing the bump off. Leaving at 12.30 made it easier it has to be said

But 2 weeks of half days will get me closer to appointment day 3 weeks today. In fact my appt is at 2.15, 3 weeks today!!!

twilightstruggle · 02/02/2015 14:37

Brummie - glad the 1/2 days look like they might help. Sorry it's still difficult with your colleague though.

Monten - well done on good dtd timing. Fingers crossed this is your cycle!

Flen - sorry you're in limbo. It does suck.

Waves at everyone else.

Thank you for all the good wishes. I'm really struggling. Just feel it's not going to work, not helped by a tiny bit of (sigh) blood this morning. I know I know, spotting can occur in healthy pregnancies. I don't know how I'll cope with a fifth miscarriage.

Marchgirl · 02/02/2015 15:42

Sorry to hear you've had a wee bit of spotting twilight, but as you say, perfectly normal (I'm sure it doesn't make it any easier at all to hear that, but it's true). Not long to wait until scan now x

cloudjumper · 02/02/2015 16:17

Ahh, twilight, so sorry to hear about your worries - we have all been there, so no need to for platitudes, just giving you my hand to hold Flowers How many weeks are you? Could you speak to your MW and see if she can do something for you (ie. a reassurance scan or something).
I found that my MW was super-helpful, knowing my history, she really pushed for extra scans etc.

Marchgirl · 02/02/2015 16:30

Just read my message back and realised that came across very completely-insensitive-healthcare-professional-ish. Sorry twilight. Meant to come across positive/encouraging. Flowers

twilightstruggle · 02/02/2015 16:31

I've got the 8-week one on Wed. I don't have a midwife yet - I tried calling epu but they didn't have appts so am just going to hold out till Wed as I don't really have the energy and it's not like it makes a difference. Sigh.

twilightstruggle · 02/02/2015 16:31

It didn't at all March! X

Jady77 · 02/02/2015 16:46

Diddlydoo I rang Coventry today and you're right can get tested for NK cells after 1. Would need to have had 2 cycles. So think I'll get more info from consultant appointment at local hospital next week and go from there. I have plenty of time before getting 2 cycles so maybe I'll hold off TTC this month.

Ourtan I had a childhood friend called that! She used to call me "rare" a lot, not sure people still say that. My friend is due Feb. One month to go!

Sorry to hear your spotting Twilight. Is your scan this week?

Glad you got through today Brum. I'm getting really annoyed with GPs. Saw a really nice one a couple of weeks ago and now no appointments until March. Managed to get telephone one, but had that last week and she kept calling the wrong number. Ended up speaking to duty doctor who had no bedside manner whatsoever. Did you have to get GP to tick the right box on the return to work note?

Hope it's good news for you soon Flen

bootles · 02/02/2015 17:08

Here's another hand to hold twilight it's the worst limbo..it really is. Roll on wednesday.

flen sorry you are in the other horrible limbo. Hope things are soon clear one way or the other.

tannyLoo · 02/02/2015 17:10

Jady made me smile! Maybe it's time for a new nickname... Good luck with your appointment, it's a start, and good you're getting known now, so however you next BFP progresses you will have some support.

Brummie I'm pleased the half day felt more manageable, it sounds like a good balance. And three weeks is great news. Starting to feel like a plan!

Twilight as cloud says, we know how it feels, and are here for the hand holding and leaning. Wednesday must feel like a lifetime away, but it'll come soon enough. Hope the spotting stops x

Flen, I'm rubbish at dealing with the limbo, but fair points about when you OVed. Fingers crossed.

So madness at the other end of pregnancy? Googling "pre labour signs" and working out if the wee pain you feel in the middle of the night is the start of contractions...

First day of mat leave has been spent with DS2 and a bout of earache. 36 weeks tomorrow!

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 02/02/2015 17:17

Twilight, sorry you've had some spotting. I know its horrible and hard to relax, but it can be ok. I spotted to 7 and a half weeks this time. Fx its ok for you, too.

OP posts:
Brummiegirl15 · 02/02/2015 17:47

36 weeks Tanny - can you believe it???? Grin you are living breathing example that it does happen !

Not long to go

Jady to be honest my GP has been really good this time. After 1 and 2 they were ok. But anything I needed this time they've done.

Twilight I'm thinking of you. I know you saw the pink and are probably terrified. All we can do is hold your hand and remind you that spotting is normal.

But I know I'd be absolutely beside myself if I was you so big hugs.

Flen big hugs. Hopefully you'll know something soon.

Do you know what I find myself thinking? If I get pregnant again and have a 4th mc how would I manage it from a work point of view? Ie prepare myself from a work point of view so I don't impact too much if I had to recover.

How utterly fucked up is that??? Sad

barkingtreefrog · 02/02/2015 17:48

Offering a hand to hold twilight, just two days to wait. Thanks

Sunandrainbow · 02/02/2015 18:25

twilight - big hugs and handholding. Keeping everything crossed for you that all is fine at the scan. Wednesday probably seems like light years away, so hoping you can keep vaguely busy amongst the mind fuck that is early pregnancy and that Wednesday comes around quickly.

flen so sorry you are still stuck in limbo. It sucks. As others have said though, it's not over till af sings. Fingers crossed.

x