Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 15 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Justonemoretime]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

Thanks. I know it's bonkers, but there is so much mad information out there. Seriously, though, I cannot get enough salad at the moment. I think its a reaction against all the Christmas food, I have been eating salads daily since 27th Dec!

Cat sorry you've had a rubbish day. Trust you're getting plenty of ttc at home and chilling ahead of tomorrow.

Hi to the Newbies & sorry for your losses x

Sorry for being brief, back at work today & got stuck in traffic so was late in. Ggrh!

just I had never heard that and I googled it and there are some slightly bonkers looking sites saying it has 247% of your RDA in 100g - I suspect that's 100g of dry weight and since it's 97% water you'd have to have it coming out of your ears for it to be a problem. Sensible sites say a serving is about 15-20% of your RDA, and up to 200% of RDA is not a problem. If you are not eating >10 servings a day then I think you are ok!

Wow - how many posts?!

Sorry you're here counting and sun - these ladies are awesome though.

Congrats ourday - I'm afraid early on in this process (I.e waiting for RMC results) so I'm afraid I have no knowledge/advice re. Aspirin. I do know I'm badly allergic to it so I hope I don't need it!

Sorry about your shitty day catlover. What you said about her being stunningly beautiful did raise a wry smile. Some pregnant women bother me more than others and them being gorgeous too doesn't help!

just I know how hard it is not to worry but am positive it will be fine. Even if there was an issue (I'm sure there's not) you would have to be eating literally mountains and mountains of the stuff.

Really loving all the age positivity. I'm 37 so no spring chicken. I have been worrying about age, mainly because miscarriage sets you back every time doesn't it and I can see the years slipping away. I was 35 (okay - just) when we started. It's also now been over six months since the last MC and still no BFP. Struggling to hold down the 'my body is broken' thoughts. Am in the 2ww so stating positive for now. You may all need to prop me up when/if af appears.

just that's a fascinating theory about eggs vs implantation. It makes total sense when you think about it. So interesting.

Glad you are getting into a good boxset brummie. Can I recommend Serial if you're looking for something else? It's a podcast but it's completely addictive, about a true crime in the States. It's highly addictive, I was gripped. Nice if you want to give your eyes a rest .

Good luck tomorrow cat. I have everything crossed but you don't need it - you will be fine .

Sorry if I've missed anyone else.

monten I was 32 when we started ttc, I'll be 36 this year, and too old to share eggs to get affordable ivf should our one nhs round not work. It's so frustrating, if I hadn't had the mc's I'd have been ready to squeeze it in before I was too old. After my first mc AF didn't return until over 4 months later (and then only after acupuncture) and waiting for the results from the rmc after the last mc and then waiting for an appointment afterwards back at the fertility clinic took 6 months . Time just ticks away while you wait helplessly. Meanwhile friends who started ttc at the same time are on their second (and one is pg with their 3rd!!! -ok, we're talking twins 1st time, but even so!)

And Serial. Yes! Although I found the last episode disappointing. Probably obvious why, but I won't say in case anyone is yet to listen!

Yes me too! I knew I wasn't going to get what I wanted but I still wanted it, iyswim

I hear you on the waiting. Waiting waiting. And when you're not waiting for appointments you're waiting for af. Or ov. And then when you do get pregnant you're waiting for scans. It's endless.

Ive decided to get really into nerdy podcasts to pass the time. This American Life is apparently v good.

That sounds like some crackpot Google results on the salad just. I'm a firm believer in your body telling you what it needs by giving you cravings (or that's what I tell myself when I fancy a bit of chocolate anyway! ), so maybe you're lacking in something that salad contains. I definitely don't think you're doing the baby any harm unless you're eating it literally by the truckload as baking mentioned

Thanks for the wisdom on the salad! Sounds much more sensible.

Ah boxsets. One mc ago I made the mistake of watching the Tudors. (Anne Bolyn was in our club). Let's all take comfort that Henry viii is not going to come along and chop off our heads.

How do you spell Bolyn?

I think there's an e in it somewhere.

Last mc I got into The Bridge which was perfect. Dark, which matched my mood , and absolutely no chance of baby bombs.

I got babybombed by both Breaking Bad and Bones post mc.

Thanks, Monty.

cat Good luck for tomorrow! You've had a good scan at nearly 12 weeks, and not only is this a massive milestone, the chance of a successful pregnancy increases with every time you've seen a heartbeat. Try and get some rest, and maybe go for a walk in your lunch break tomorrow to calm the nerves. Will be thinking of you.

Thank you all for your kind words and positive stories about ttc at 40+. I think I got a bit rattled by some very aggressive and patronising comments from a poster on the 40+ ttc thread that I am on, which I let get to me more than I should have done. I'm feeling a lot more positive now that I'm not totally mad thinking I can still have a baby . Now going to do some reading/research for my appointment

Just - thanks for the blog links. Will have a look now. x

cloud I hope your patronising woman heard/read the news this morning, it's now 47% of families that have a single child. Only children are becoming the norm . It's a rising trend, so not just explained by families that currently only have one child.
I know I might feel differently in the future, but right now I'm just focused on having 'a' child. I have no desire (and no unlimited finances) to go through any more fertility treatment than I need to get one!

Monten - your description of the constant 'waiting' is so true!!!!

Wow, so busy today! I've been reading throughout the day, but was in soft play for quite some time and knew I'd struggle not to get sucked in to the thread, there were so many things I wanted to join in with!

As it is, I have been nodding in recognition and chuckling in acknowledgement. A quick summary would be: 1) Yes I am the oldest pg bird on this thread currently. 2) No lover of aspirin, heparin all the way. 3) Can't believe how shit employers can be! 4) Do uteri get grey and wrinkly? 5) I strongly advocate the break from TTC after MC. 6) Salad gives me wind and heartburn at the mo, so enjoy it while you can. 7) Cat good luck for tomorrow, you have come so far! 8) Star Trek Voyager got me through MC 5, and West Wing got me through the couple before that.

Back to work in the morning. I haven't been sleeping well, and it looks like my dad's funeral is going to be next Wednesday. Need some closure.

32 weeks in 45 mins!

Cloud I went and had a read of the thread, and then checked out other things she's posted. I wouldn't let yourself get rattled by her, she seems to enjoy the rattling, and actually seems quite unwell in some of the things I've read.. Am happy for you to use me as an anecdotal example!

tanny Yes, she is certainly a bit of a sh** stirrer. Thing is, I am almost certain that she is someone who has previously been banned from MN (and not just once) - I recognise the tone and style, and the background facts she has mentioned here and there also add up (I've also checked her other posts, it all sounded too familiar). Wondering if I need to alert the HQ...
I'm alright now - it's such a shame when people like that bring a lovely and supportive thread down.
Hope you can sleep a bit better and that the time until your dad's funeral passes quickly. My dad passed away when I was pg with DS, and the time between him dying and the funeral seemed to go on for ages. Look after yourself.

Spent the evening going through Lesley Regan's book again, as well as another one on egg quality, and reading science/research-based facts has made me feel strangely reassured (even though the stats are still a bit gloomy). Guess I'm still a scientist by heart...

Cat good luck for today!!!

Tanny 32 weeks - hurrah!!

Bleeding hasn't come on at all (yet) but Christ the pain has. Really painful cramps that ibuprofen is not touching. I believe this is the uterus contracting back down?

Once again lost a post last night. To summarise:

• welcome new people
• sick leave post mc can't be counted in terms of penalising you for too much/too many episodes, of sickness, but they still don't have to pay you for it. Ie if you run out of sick leave due to time off for mc.
• sun your manager makes me mad. Can you get a sick note from your gp and stick that under his nose? I get why you are reluctant to tell them about the MC's, but they will be more likely to leave you alone if they know (perhaps?) and you could get HR invo!bed if they still treat you badly. You shouldn't have to be at work struggling right now - hugs. Hope you are off today.

cat best best of luck for today. Keep us updated.

• eggs, belle you made me laugh. My understanding is that the damage occurs as they mature, (3 months) and whilst yes it is a lot more common with age, we can try and protect our eggs to some degree. cloud if your research is showing some gloomy stats, are you being reassured by the fact that it CAN happen in us older women? (I'm 41 now). I know I should look into it more myself, but right now that may send me over the edge.

DS has a new stuffed toy panda. He loves it. He tells me to cuddle it, stroke it, keep it safe, and sits on the sofa with me telling me how much he likes it and how cute it is..you can see where I'm going..its about the size of a newborn baby..I'm way too attached to that panda..

Awww bootles enjoy the panda

regarding sick leave:

1 and 2 were quite close together and a bit confusing... after the ERPC on a wednesday (after 2) I had thursday off and worked from home on friday...

3 was natural and happened the day before going to the MIL on a holiday - no sick leave there

4 again ERPC on wednesday, but this time took both thursday and friday off, and then over the weekend decided to go to the GP and got signed off for a week.

Number 4 was the hardest for me, as it came after DD and I was hoping (fool!) my body had learnt what to do...

5 was medical management on a saturday and I think I had only then the monday to wednesday off...

cloud I am feeling mischievous today. Where is the bad lady?
cat thinking about you. Try and relax, particularly after they have done the nuchal, take your time and make sure you get a good look at your little wriggler. Get yourself some if the sheer joy that women who have never been in our position have at scans. You deserve it.

Feeling utterly shit this morning. 15 dpo and still bfn. This time on a frer. So back to the drawing board. Stopped taking the progesterone this morning so hopefully will get af soon, as my cycle is already up to 36 days this month. Don't know what's going on with that but hopefully it's going to settle back down.
I know it's nothing compared to all you lovely people that have infertility problems, and I feel like a total brat to be disappointed to not catch on the first cycle but I just so wanted to be pregnant before my next would-have-been EDD and with my long cycle it's looking unlikely. Really don't think i can cope with meeting my good friend's baby (due the day after I was) when I'm still waiting.
Sorry for the me me me post

cat - really hoping everything goes perfectly for you today.

march - big hugs to you. A negative test is gutting isn't it after all the hope of the TWW.