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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Recurrent Miscarriage Support thread 14 - tests, treatment, trying again

999 replies

Justonemoretime · 29/11/2014 17:38

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
bythesea82 · 11/12/2014 17:31

Cloud Flowers - no one should have to have that x

Catlover2014 · 11/12/2014 17:52

Great news Belle so pleased for you. I was nervous looking for your post. What a great scan week Grin

Bootles very well put there is always hope. If I do get this baby it will be almost 7 years since I started trying, sometimes good things take longer than we hoped.

Hugs to you Cloud I know we've talked about your heartbreaking loss before. I'm just so sorry for what happened to you, so cruel.

Sea just start when the time is right for you. We'll be for hand holding!

XxX

Daisybell1 · 11/12/2014 18:40

What a great scan week, fab news for all involved.

Cloud, I'm so sorry to hear your story, how heartbreakingly sad for you.

I've heard from Coventry - apparently if I get a bfp, then they'll rush my results through (although I can't imagine them doing that over Christmas!) any only prescribe if necessary. That's different to Nanny's experience, isn't it?

bakingtins · 11/12/2014 19:40

Well said bootles

Justonemoretime · 11/12/2014 20:25

You're right, Bootles, its easy to focus on the negatives because we can all (sadly) relate. But the odds are in our favour, on the whole. Its not always easy to keep that in mind, though.

OP posts:
bakingtins · 11/12/2014 20:31

daisy there was some problem with the lab when tanny got her BFP and they weren't able to get the results, so she had steroids until normal results came back.
They would normally be back in 4 weeks so likely to be there or thereabouts by the time you get a BFP even if it's first cycle. I had started the progesterone then had had my results back and a letter emailed a few days before my BFP but still had a headless chicken moment trying to get a prescription written and filled the day of BFP!

tannyLoo · 11/12/2014 20:44

Hello Daisy - what baking said! There was a backlog of samples to process, so mine were delayed.

Belle, woop woop! Such a brilliant end to scan week!

Bootles yes, well said indeed...

Cloud it still makes me ache with sadness when I read about your terrible time, and it wasn't long ago. X

Tiny I echo your squishy sentiments...

I had my 28 week MW appt, and I want to marry my midwife. Not only does she not see a problem with me having a MLU birth, but suggested that I might consider a home birth! This is a whole new level of confidence that I have no idea how to process! Not only is she talking about actually giving birth to an actual baby, but she thinks my pg is normal, healthy and happy. Stupified... Shock

Belleende · 11/12/2014 21:10

Get you normal pregnant lady. We might have to kick you off the thread send you to where the sane ladies are.Wink
Lovely words bootles, there is as much hope on these pages as heartbreak it is sometimes hard to see that.
sea you will know when the time is right. I have always taken a good few months to recover and just take time to feel normal for a bit. I think it has helped me cope.
cloud sounds like you have had every shade of miscarriage it is possible to suffer. They each come with their own particular sadness and it is not fair you have suffered so much. I know you are facing big decisions, I hope you get some clarity and find some peace.
Thanks to all for the good wishes. I will hopefully get a decent nights sleep, first one for a while.

bootles · 11/12/2014 21:52

Result Tanny! Got to love tbat midwife...

tannyLoo · 11/12/2014 21:55

Belle! Don't do that, they are talking baby showers, bump photoshoots and nursery places! I can just about look at baby clothes in supermarkets without bursting into tears, and have managed not to sob my way through two MW appts...

You are the sane ones, don't forget that! Grin

girliesaints · 11/12/2014 22:07

Belle- great news and hope you and other ladies that had scans this week have a restful night's sleep x

cloudjumper · 11/12/2014 23:21

Aww, you guys... you are so lovely!

But I am so sorry if I have caused anyone any additional fears and worries, that was a bit thoughtless of me! I only meant to share, not scare...
There is no reason to believe that you are going to have healthy happy babies, every day the stats are more in your favour.

barkingtreefrog · 11/12/2014 23:31

Ha ha! I don't think you're reassuring anyone there cloud!

There is no reason to believe that you are going to have healthy happy babies

Grin

I hate that you can't 'edit' posts sometimes!!

On a serious note though, I think the beauty of this thread is everyone being able to share experiences and realise that they're not alone, and their fears are 'normal'. I have learnt so much from all of you ladies, I wouldn't have had a clue what they were talking to me about in the rmc if I hadn't already learnt so much on here and other threads.

cloudjumper · 11/12/2014 23:40

ARGH! I really need to pay more attention to what I write!!! I do this for a living, for crying out loud!

But you get my drift - I hope...

Going to bed now, before I come up with any more corkers Confused

tannyLoo · 12/12/2014 00:27

Just started looking at papers about maternal age and early induction, which led to looking at causes of stillbirth. All great pre-sleep reading. Will need to change my name to Pranny, cos that was a bloody stupid thing to do. A few rounds of solitaire ought to rid me of some of this headjunk...

Belleende · 12/12/2014 05:14

Oh dear tanny you are clearly not ready for the sane ladies yet. Best you stay here and STEP AWAY FROM DR GOOGLE.

Justonemoretime · 12/12/2014 07:17

Tanny, hope you talked yourself down? Maybe your m/w can reassure you?
Cloud don't feel bad about sharing. Its why we're here, to share when we need to. xx

OP posts:
bootles · 12/12/2014 08:10

cloud I agree completely with barking, this thread is to help with knowledge, information, and to emotionally support each other. Hand holding through the tests, investigations, decisions, ttc and all that comes after. Emotional support has also got to mean hearing the awfully sad stories like yours, and letting you know that we can recognise what anguish you must have been through. Plus it was me who asked you the question about that loss, which you were kindly answering.

tanny definitely a discussion to have with that lovely MW. Was the general gist that induction is encouraged around due date with advancing maternal age? Just my pennies worth, but with DS I was induced at 42 weeks (they eventually scared me with their stillbirth stats) However, I sort of gave up in the end, but had had a session of acupuncture to try and get things going and swear if I had gone back for more it would have worked. A MW also mentioned some Chinese medicine of some sort to be started in late pg, to avoid going overdue. It was too late for me by then, but there may be things you can do from around 37 wks to avoid going over and therefore induction. Hope I am getting right end of stick here. Now stop being a pranny and googling before bed!

Marchgirl · 12/12/2014 08:48

tanny I had my my dd at 19 days over. She really didn't want to come out but she was totally fine. I gather in France that full term is 41 weeks rather than 40,so they must think it's safe to go longer. I also tried acupuncture but unfortunately it didn't work for me. Was quite an odd experience actually as I was retaining so much water in my legs that they just weeped water from the needle holes when she took them out. Totally gross but funny!

Daisybell1 · 12/12/2014 13:23

I went to 42 weeks (well 45 mins short of it) with dd. I felt fine throughout but by the time they hauled her out through the sun roof she had passed meconium and came out completely flat.

I think that only you can know what your own personal tolerance for and appetite for risk is. And that will have many factors - your mental health at the time, distance from the hospital etc etc.

Marchgirl · 12/12/2014 14:23

I agree daisy. I probably wouldn't let it go beyond 2 weeks over this time as it'll have been a bit more hard fought when it comes

bakingtins · 12/12/2014 14:35

tanny how did your previous birth go? Is being overdue a likelihood based on your previous experience?
I'm with the others that when I realised my pregnancy was actually going to produce a baby I just wanted her here safe. As it was the decision was out of my hands when she decided to come early. No googling late at night though, I forbid it!

tannyLoo · 12/12/2014 14:59

Thanks for all your comments. It is following on from the discussion I had with the lovely midwife, who said that my consultant's opinion about not going past 40 weeks is based on limited and possibly flawed research about the placenta's lifespan in older women. The reason for discussing this is because I would like to give birth at my local MLU, which is literally across the road from our house, and is where I had DS2. I am low-risk in all other areas apart from age, and DS2 was born at 38 weeks after a 4 hour labour. If my consultant sticks to his guns, I will only be able to deliver here if I go into spontaneous labour before 40 weeks, otherwise it's off to the big hospital an hour away for something much less within my control.

I agree totally that I want whatever will be best for a healthy babs at the end, which is why this seems quite important to get right. If the clinical evidence is sketchy, then being in a MLU with a low risk pg would be the best outcome. However, risks of stillbirth increase with maternal age, so this is a good reason to look at earlier induction...

And if my RMC journey has taught me anything, it's not to accept the opinion of one specialist, but to do your own research and get multiple views before making up your mind.

Either way, I plan to use acupuncture sessions once I get to 38 weeks, and will get back on the raspberry leaf tea at 35 weeks to ripen everything up, so that will solve everything!

Sorry, I'm completely over thinking this, and if you stopped reading before this, I really don't blame you. I'm annoying myself!

I do promise, cross my heart, not to research in bed before going to sleep. Honest. Grin

Imscarlet · 12/12/2014 15:54

Hi can I join you lovely ladies? Just recovering from my most recent m/c and waiting on the results of genetic testing. I think my issues are hormonal but had progesterone support for this latest pregnancy and that didn't do the trick so I guess I'm hoping for a chromosomal disorder in the POC. I guess. I have a lovely 4 year old DD so there is hope. I'm going back to my fertility clinic in feb for probably Femara, HCG shots and my next step is peak + 7 bloods. Most of the reason I'm pissed off is because I was the one with the happy ending and now I'm back to being the person who miscarries again. My hospital seem to be taking this m/c very seriously and I know anecdotally that they don't think much of the fertility methods of my clinic so I may run into differences of opinion in the next few months. Anyhoo, sorry that each and everyone of you needs to be on this thread, wishing you all every success and looking forward to getting to know you.

longestlurkerever · 12/12/2014 17:38

Welcome Imscarlet. I am sorry for your losses. You sound very well informed already but please ask if there is any specific advice you're looking for. Otherwise we're here for virtual hand holding hugs and cake, or for listening to rants, if you need that.