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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support thread 14 - tests, treatment, trying again

999 replies

Justonemoretime · 29/11/2014 17:38

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
barkingtreefrog · 10/12/2014 20:39

Totally agree, bootles, it's all about being given the choice. I've always wanted to look, but I like being asked first. You can drive yourself mad listening for the intonation in their voice, reading the expression on their face, wishing they'd bloody well hurry up and just say something!!

Good luck tomorrow Belle Thanks

Belleende · 10/12/2014 22:50

Cheers ladies, not in til 1.30. Going to be a looooonnnnnnnng night. Hope I get the same sonographer as last time. She knew the score.

bakingtins · 11/12/2014 07:41

Hope you got some sleep belle and good luck!

longest sorry to hear about your DH. I had a similar thing with my Dad when I was in the midst of all the RMC stuff, I think I posted about it at the time. He was 'rushed in' for colonoscopy, but he was fine. I hope your DH can be seen soon and that they can set your mind at rest, I'm sure you can't help thinking the worst, but I think it's just them trying to meet targets by seeing people quickly. Flowers

Marchgirl · 11/12/2014 07:42

Good luck for later belle. Let us know how it goes. We're all rooting for you

TinyTear · 11/12/2014 08:39

Good luck Belle don't fret too much this morning (ha!)

In my EPU there are no screens for the mothers, they only turn the screen if there is good news and ask first

At st Mary's RMC there was a little separate screen but was behind me so to look I had to turn my head behind me

Only the regular scan rooms have screens facing the mother in my hopsital - but i actually think that will make it worse in MMCs
I never made it to a 12w scan with any of my 5, so didn't have that experience.

I always mention the MCs in all my scans so they reassure me and show me the HB straight away before getting on with their work

cloudjumper · 11/12/2014 12:38

Good luck belle

longest Hope your DH is alright, how worrying. Not what you need on top of everything else!

Gosh, there are some awful stories here about bad scan experiences... I completely agree that they should as before starting if you want to see the screen on not! Every first timer will most likely say yes, but anyone with a history will appreciate to have the choice.
I always tell them about my mcs and ask them to let me know asap if there is a heartbeat. But I still absolutely dread that silence between them starting the scan and then telling me what they find...
Well, I did that for any of the early scans, but last time, when I when in for the amnio, it didn't occur to me that this could be an issue anymore. Ended up staring at my perfectly formed baby, going 'awww, there is my baby' to 'hang on, where is the heartbeat?', even before the consultant told me that there was none Sad So in future, I will never look at a screen at any point until they tell me what they are seeing.

Flen · 11/12/2014 13:19

Good luck today Belle, thinking of you.

Also sad to hear of people's crap experiences with sonographers. Since the first one, I have been asked if I want to look, which I appreciate. I think it is just a courteous question.

longestlurkerever · 11/12/2014 13:29

Hugs back cloud, what a sad story. Just popping in to wish belle luck. xx

Marchgirl · 11/12/2014 13:33

I have always been asked in the psc (epu) whether I want the screen on or not, they've been great. I have always wanted to look, but I think everyone is different. Would probably be easier for the sonographer if I hadn't looked, as the uncontrollable sobbing must have made it hard to see anything, but for me, seeing was part of the acceptance process.
With the first one, the sac was perfectly normal and I spent 3 weeks after that thinking maybe they'd made a mistake and the embryo was just too small to see. The other two I knew the sac looked wrong, so I'm glad I saw that rather than having false hope for the confirmation scan

bootles · 11/12/2014 13:33

Sorry to hear another unpleasant way of finding out cloud. Can I ask, were problems flagged up at the 12 wk scan hence the amnio? Totally understand if you don't want to go into it. What with all the recent talk on the thread about these milestones, and the harmony, I just wondered.

Belleende · 11/12/2014 14:37

Looks like a clean sweep for scan week. Nuchal 1.5. Still have to wait a few days for blood results, but looking better than it ever has. Thank you so much for all your support. You have made a mad old bitch feel completely normal. Jesus I could murder a pint.

Marchgirl · 11/12/2014 14:40

Congratulations belle That's brilliant news. Such good vibes going on here. Keep it up. Shame you can't have a beer but have some chocolate!

TinyTear · 11/12/2014 14:43

oh Belle I am so happy, I am so happy for all of you here in the thread...

When I joined I think I had just had my MC4... on these threads I went on to have MC5 and decide to go to Coventry... and now I am 22+5...

Thank you all for your support and for being hear to listen to all the ramblings! < feeling mushy>

longestlurkerever · 11/12/2014 14:50

Yeay! So pleased Belle! This is shaping up to be another excellent thread. Am really starting to have faith that everyone on it will get there in the end. x

cloudjumper · 11/12/2014 14:53

Excellent belle! Hope you can relax a bit now... Have a Brew instead Smile

bootles No worries about asking, this is what we are here for!
My 12-week scan itself was great, all looking good, nuchal fold 1.6, no soft markers detected whatsoever, nasal bone present etc. I had 2 scans, one at the NHS and one at the FMC, both with the same results - I was over the moon with that.
My problem was the really dodgy blood results (look away anyone still waiting for them!!) with very low Papp-A levels - combined with my age and the nuchal, they brought my risk for Downs to 1:17 (and even lower at the FMC because they use a higher risk for age).
I tried to get the Harmony test done twice, both attempts failed because they could not isolate enough fetal DNA from my blood to run the analysis). Therefore I then decided to have amnio, as by then I was 17 weeks, and the associated mc risk is slightly lower than for CVS.
But when I went in to have it and the consultant scanned me to check baby's position before starting the procedure, we found that the baby had died... Turns out it had Edward's syndrome, so nothing could have been done.

longestlurkerever · 11/12/2014 15:40

Even more hugs cloud. I kind of picked up that story from previous things you have posted but that is the first time i have read it all the way through. It must have been particularly devastating to lose a baby at that stage when everything was looking good. Xxxxx

Marchgirl · 11/12/2014 16:11

Hugs to everyone for all your difficult times. Life is so hard sometimes and must be even harder in that situation where things seem ok at first. Hopefully that is all behind us now and we can all look forward to a less traumatic future

bakingtins · 11/12/2014 16:22

belle thrilled to hear more good scan news! Do you get signed off to be a normal pregnant person now?

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 11/12/2014 16:29

Belle, so glad it went well. Grin
We've all been through the wars, haven't we. Cloud, my heart breaks (and is filled with fear) for your story. So, so sad ((hugs)) to you and thanks for sharing.

OP posts:
Belleende · 11/12/2014 16:32

I don't think so. cloud's experience would suggest caution.

bakingtins · 11/12/2014 16:41

I didn't mean in your own mind! Obviously you get to be batshit crazy recurrent miscarrier all the way through Grin and of course the anxiety never completely goes away. Are the more pragmatic Nhs now putting you on a 'routine antenatal care pathway'?

bootles · 11/12/2014 17:11

belle your good 12 week scan today is fantastically positive. Great news!!

cloud so sorry you had to experience that, what a dreadful thing to happen. As longest says, particularly devestating due to the way things unfolded. My heart goes out to you xx

The thing is, we have all immersed ourselves in the world of recurrent miscarriage, and learnt way more than we ever wanted about the ways and types and causes and possible causes of pregnancy loss. For anyone with half a grain of sense pregnancy is a quite scary, for us it is shit scary f terrifying. The sad stories on this thread are heartbreaking and we are all so aware of what can go wrong. Even with a million positive stories, the sad ones will stick because our own personal losses are there already and our pregnancy innocence is so long gone.

BUT for those who are waiting for the next early scan, or tbeir 12 week scans, or 20 week scans, or for the baby to arrive...we must remember all the positive stories. We must. And there are plenty. At each scan, if things are looking good, then that is as good as things can be in that moment, and tbat is what we have to go with, and whilst yes things can always still go wrong right up until the end (we all know that) each good scan means that it is more and more likely to be a success story.

So whoop whoop! and pom poms! for all the good scans that have been going on for the last few weeks. Hugs to everyone, whichever stage of this journey you are on xxx

barkingtreefrog · 11/12/2014 17:15

Whoop! 100% on the scans this week! Grin

barkingtreefrog · 11/12/2014 17:22

xpost Bootle, very eloquently put Smile.

bythesea82 · 11/12/2014 17:29

belle great news Grin I have been think of you all day and hoping but just able log on.
Waves to everyone else, I am thinking somone had a scan tomorrow? Maybe just scan mad after this week! It almost makes me want to start trying again in the hopes of good news! Nearly but not quite brave enough yet!