total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

[SuperGlue]

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

Morning all. How is everyone today?

I'm still waiting for my scan in Thursday and praying that everything is progressing well in there.

I feel sick as a dog; my nausea is getting worse by the day. I'm clinging on to this as a good sign that the pregnancy is still viable.

Am I mad?

Hi GinFace. I think all the signs are good!
My first AF post mc seems to have ended - after almost two weeks! But another poster elsewhere said her doc told her it could last up to two weeks and as everything seems to be normal (apart from the length) im not worrying.
I have to get a wisdom tooth sorted out at the end of the month, so will have to delay ttc unfortunately. Well, it's only a couple of weeks but after so many weeks of waiting for this and that I just want free of physical deadlines!!

fromwest you probs wont feel like dtd after your wisdom tooth, have tou had it done before? is it an extraction?

im ok hope everyone else is. sick of being ill now tho, seem to have picked up everything due to being anaemic following the mmc. also worryingly ive experienced a couple of 'flashbacks' but i hope thats all just part of the healing process. think im going to speak to epau today too to see if they think the bleeding i experiencee last wk was af or not. dying to know so i can decide whether to ttc or not.

good luck today mrsb. flower, i know ive definitely felt it would have been easier to have naturally mc'd early on although i hope ill never know if thats the case. either way its heartbreaking i guess.

It's not an extraction, the top of it is being sliced off. No I won't want to dtd and there would be no point anyway as I will have to be on antibiotics for at least a week after the procedure. That's why I don't want to risk the tiny chance of falling pregnant again before the appointment. I was supposed to have this done back in November but then fell pregnant unexpectedly. The dentist advised not to have it done while pg because of the antibiotics. It would be really silly to put myself in that situation again. The chances are very slim anyway, I don't know if my cycle will be normal again yet.
Hope hospital can give you some reassurance today.

So....work is not playing nice.
My manager didn't come see me until she decided I needed to be reminded that no one had done my work whilst I was away. Oh, and I need to train someone to pick up the slack.
Meeting with them and HR to discuss a phased return. I had to write a letter of request and need to see a GP to provide supporting evidence. Again, reminded how my absence impacts the business.
Spoke to GP who is writing a letter and will sign me off stressed if need be.
I need to seriously decide what to do, I've been physically ill all day with stress pains and a headache. I knew it would be hard, but this is a joke. My body doesn't need this, cant even think of TTC with the pressure.
I know I shouldn't let them beat me, but its not worth it anymore. I know DH is worried about finances, and I wont walk out without a plan, but after the meeting I just wanted to curl up and cry.

are you still at work mrsb? i think you should see your dr. you do sound very stressed and that is not fair after all you have been through. it is not your fault there is nothing in place to pick up the slack when you are not there, that is someone elses problem to worry about and resolve.

so sorry you are dealing with this too.

glad its not an extraction altho still sounds quite invasive hope it all goes ok. sounds like you are doing the best thing avoiding ttc until tht is all out of the way.

thanks, i havent rang yet. im wondering if theres any point, what can they realistically tell me? i want to know if it was an extremely light af and all i will probs get is it coud be which isnt much use to me as i still wont know whether to ttc or not ha.

I left at 2pm. What a shit day, just came home and fell apart. I don't want to go back, but financially I need to. I don't want it to.impact on future employment either. Not sure what to do really.

I hope everyone is going ok, ouch to the dentist trip!

Going to have a nice cup of tea and try to relax, already panicking about going in tomorrow.

MrsB I'm really sorry to hear that work are being pricks.

Are you a member of a union?

oh gosh mrsb youve had a bad day. have you recorded everything today? this is probably very underhand and likely not the best advice either but it may go in your favour if you go off with stress due to workload and how they have been treating you. if they are a big company they will be worried about their reputation. dont think will make it any easier in the long run but could buy you some time to find something else?

i think af is actually here now gt back ache and a bit more blood so am assuming this is it which is fab news as this time next week i can be right in there ttc again

I'm going to look into it ginger...need to get some more info, and something I'd never contemplate before, but its worthwhile looking at it.

Yay for AF, I'm excited for you :)

On the sofa, eating a pack of chop chip cookies and cuddling with my puppy. It helps!

well it sounds like it is just making your bad time even worse and its not fair at all. i hope youre ok. cuddles with puppy and cookies sounds just lovely ha!

me too although the pain has brought a panic with it reminding me of what happened silly really.

Puppy and cookies is an excellent combo.

I'm sitting on the sofa waiting to spend two hours on the phone to the bank remortgaging to extend the house because we are expecting a baby. Which I'm also waiting to find out if it's stopped growing.

I think this waiting and not knowing is actually fucking with my head. I've come home in a bit of a mess tonight. I just need to know, either way.

I'm sorry Gin,I've been there and it does mess with your emotions. Thinking of you

when are you back for a scan gin? try nt to worry you just never know. i think your story so far leaves lots of room for optimism so keeping everything crossed for u. ur syptoms still as strong as ever?

Thanks girls. Scan on Thursday afternoon.

Tiredness and morning nausea present...

not long to wait now gin thursday soon be here. all good signs just stay positive i am keeping that way for u too.

Thanks ginge x

hows work today mrsb have you gone?

hope youre doing ok gin.

Hi ginger.
DH had to call an ambulance last night as I was having severe chest pains and trouble breathing. Stress! That and the disagreement we had made me really realise how much its affecting myself,and my relationship with DH.
I've had a phone consult with the GP and have been signed off work. I just now need to figure out how to give notice. Do I write to senior management and let them know why? Or just simply resign. I've never been in this situation.

I'm worried about finances and TTC, but I need to do what is right, and feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack before I'm 30 is not ok.

I'm not blaming the MC, but I think the after affects of how I've been treating has opened my eyes to it being a company I can no longer work for.

I've had a few job offers already, nothing fantastic, but it'll be money.

Sorry for the mini novel!

How is everyone else doing? Gin - thinking of you for Thursday.

Here's to 2015 hurrying up and improving for us all!

oh mrsb that is terrible. im so sorry but glad it has helped you come to a decision. are you sure you want to hand your notice in right away? maybe if you give yourself a few weeks to recuperate properly you will feel a bit different?

i only say as when i returned for a week before christmas i had nothing good to say about my work and could have easily started hating it tbh with my emotions all over and how i felt theyd treat me whilst i was off etc however i am feeling better ib myself now ive had a bit more time and am a lot happier at work because of that.

i dont know who you write to to resign tbh maybe HR.

good news about the job offers? is there any that take your fancy?

Honestly, it's been building up for a long time and causing more and more stress, the latest episode has just been the final push.
I've written to the manager and ceo, gives me a bit of peace to know it might make a difference for others.
To stay, they'd need to offer me another job, under a different manager, that's the only way I'd go back now. I've exhausted every other way to express my feelings. And I feel like I'm letting myself and colleagues down by going sick again, and not doing my job. I will miss the people I work with though, I'm sad about that.

Have heard back about one job, not what I really want, but pay is better and its a whole new team. A fresh start.

I stupidly got upset this morning and told DH we could wait to TTC again if the financial pressure was too much. He told me not to be silly. I know I worry to much about other people and not me. I'm old enough to make decisions for myself and shouldn't worry what others think.

It has been an emotional time, and maybe its a small blessing that through it, I've learnt to be a little selfish and do what's right for me.

it certainly sounds like you have done what is best for you.

try not to worry about money and ttc. i know its not ideal (if youre like me anyway as it will be a big part of becoming a mam for me buying every naff must have going lol) but you dont need much more money for a baby than you do for just you two and would get offered lots by family and friends. plus who knows how long ttc will take and even then you have 9 months till baby arrives. i like to trust in fate ha!

the new job you have been offered sounds promising but wait until you hear back from hr, they may move you. it happened to someone i worked with when they werent happy so who knows. i will keep everything crossed for you that you get a speedy response.

Thanks ginger. I love how we can come on here and just ramble on, even if its not about TTC and DTD. It really does help.

So, I got the results of the genetic testing on the products of conception today. Chromosomally normal, female. That means the problem was with me I guess. I don't know how I feel about that right now. Weird knowing the gender.
MrsB, I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time with work but I can't help but feel it might be the best for you in the longer term. When I had my first m/c I had refused voluntary redundancy and not applied for a course which would have qualified me for a career I always wanted. After the m/c, it kind of shook me in a sense and I came to the realisation that life is too short to chug away at a career that was bringing me no happiness. I applied for the course, took the next round of redundancy and ended up in the career that I always wanted. I think having 'survived' the m/c I was brave enough to know that I would survive that decision too and it was the best thing I ever did. Jump and your safety net will come.
Hi to everyone else. I am reading all the time!

Hi scarlet. I don't know your whole story but sending you hugs. Are you going to name your little girl? Hoping that the path gets smoother for you from now. You seem very strong.