Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 12

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone! A thread for anyone who has suffered recurrent losses and is in need of support, information, moral support or tea and sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Please can we start (as is traditional) with a recap of where we are on 'the journey'.

Charlie I also felt relieved in a weird sense when we found out that our last 2 mcs had been due to chromosomal abnormalities. It absolves you from that nagging doubt that there might be something fundamentally wrong (even though I had been hoping for a diagnosis with x, for which they give you treatment y, and the chance for a successful pregnancy is significantly increased. But we can't have everything...). And it also - and this may sound a bit crazy - helped me to restore faith in my body a bit, in that it has been doing the right thing by not holding on to the babies because there was something not right. Hoping that this will help you to move on and with getting back on the rollercoaster! You have a very good chance that everything will be fine next time.

girlie It's rubbish, isn't it. I wonder who came up with the 3xmc rule for testing... Was this your 2nd? Free cake sounds like the perfect pick-me-up!

tanny That's great news about the new job, one thing less to worry about!

longest Have a great time in Oz! Hope you'll be able to relax a bit.

tiny Sorry to hear that you didn't click with your counsellor. I think that this can make a lot of difference, as you are able to open up more to someone who you feel is on the same wavelength. If you do go back, can you request someone else?

I'm a bit today... CD14 today, but no sign of ovulation, according to the CBFM who keeps saying 'low'. I normally ovulate on CD14 +/- 1 day, so not sure what is going on. However, my temp did quite a jump up this morning, and the cheapy OPKs have had a super-faint line for the last 2 days, so I'm wondering what is going on! The CBFM is usually very reliable, and I've been expecting a 'high' or even 'peak' today.
Dtd anyway, just in case...

Thanks so much for your messages everyone. Esp to cloud you hit the nail on the head. I have been feeling very angry towards my body recently. I googled tri15 a bit and it looks like babies can survive but it's not a pleasant life for them. I'm so thankful in a way that DH and I were spared what would have been an extremely difficult decision further on in the pregnancy.
I had basically got to the point where I thought I had a progesteroene problem but I know it wouldn't get diagnosed until I had another MC and even then I guess treatment would be unsure until the trial results are published. But it's so nice to have an answer. In addition, I was freaking out that it had been something I did, such as the lots of air travel in the first couple of months. Relieved that I can stop, on some level, blaming myself.

longest have a fab time, I'm very jealous. Enjoy yourself!

cloud that does sound weird - hope you get a high soon! Just keep DTDing ;)

tiny I'm sorry the counselling didn't work out. Can you ask if you can switch counsellors? Apart from her over-reliance on the "how did that make you feel" I don't mind mine at all, and she's been pretty reliable. I can DM you her name if you like.

tanny CONGRATS!!!

Sorry I haven't been around since I started posting! these get so long!
Congrats to all the ladies who have had bfps!

Nothing much to report still waiting for my letter.. Hope it comes soon so I can have a plan I guess..

Do you find yourself not doing something just in case your pregnant and don't want to risk it?!
My PIL are lovely and MIL has come into some money and wanted to go away next year all of us, SIL kids and BIL and us and they were looking at Sept now it's May we have said no because we want to try again and incase I am pregnant I will be too terrified to leave the county nevermind the country! They have been lovely and said they will pay for us to go away later in the year instead!.. I wonder if we should just suck it up and go?! I might not even be pregnant by then!

MrsChoc Ahh, the ever-present 'What if'! Don't I know it. I have been uhm-ing and ah-ing about booking our summer holiday for next year, in case I might be pg/have just given birth.

However, this is how I think about this now: Don't put everything on hold because of ttc and what might come of it. It's not worth it, you need to live your life!
What will be will be - cross that bridge when you get to it.
So I'd say - go for it, say yes to the holiday, make plans for nice things, and then re-evaluate closer to the time. You don't know what will happen or how you might feel then! And if your PILs are so nice, they will understand. If not, sod them

Hi all, I've just posted my own thread under the mental health section.
Firstly I'm sorry to hear of all your bad experiences.
Basically boxing day last year we found out we were expecting our 5th child. Both happy and the best I've felt in ages! Sadly at 11 weeks we had a scan after I had some pains it showed our baby had died at 9 weeks. The baby didn't come away on his/her own so I ended up having the operation to remove it 2 weeks later. It was the worst experience ever. 3 months ago we decided to try again and 2 weeks ago we got our positive test. very happy again but nervous. 2 weeks ago I woke up with a bleed and went to hospital where it turned into a very fast and painful miscarriage :( i dont know if I want to carry on trying I can't take much more heartache.

Hi Charlie - glad you are feeling positive on the results! You can now start again and hopefully it is the case of finding the "right" egg and sperm :)

Cloud - Thats so true! I am going to do exactly that will try get hold of Mil to tell her to book it! Eek thanks!

chocolate I second cloud. I've been feeling the same reservations as you, but YOLO as they say. I'm off to book my new year ski trip...

beth I'm so sorry you find yourself here. I've also recently had my 2nd mc and totally understand what you're going through. You'll find great support here from these lovely ladies. I've found that cake and talking about it help me.

Bristolian - Good glad you have decided too book your ski trip! It's true YOLO and we need too!
Totally going too!
Formally MrsChocolateCupcake

beth sorry to hear about your MC. Only you and DH can decide whether you want to try again, it's hard feeling 'back in the firing line', but all I'd say is your loss is v recent and must feel extremely raw. give yourselves some recovery time before making any long term decisions.

Ah new name will be confusing as my dd is Emily..
But yes, I now don't do what ifs...

Can I join this thread?

I was around 10-11 weeks pregnant. I started bleeding a little last week, it got much heavier over the weekend and I miscarried last night. I was already booked in for an early scan this morning, which confirmed what I already knew......

I've got a wonderfully supportive DP, but no one else knows, so it helps me to share here. I am feeling so awful both physically and mentally. I know it's normal to feel like this but i'm so sad, empty, emotionally drained and can't stop crying. In my head I know it wasn't to be, but it doesn't seem to help much, does it?

Congratulations butterfly I'm so happy for you

Congrats squiz

So sorry so many of you are having an awful time

oldlake I'm so sorry

Dd a tiny bit better so I will be able to go to my scan tomorrow 9AM I have scan anxiety already so probably won't sleep much tonight

Congrats on the new job tanny

Keeping everything crossed for you purple. Hope you get some sleep

Can't keep up!

purple good luck tomorrow, try to get some sleep. Hope DD is feeling better.

Congrats to tanny and butterfly

oldlake sorry to hear you lost your baby. We know only too well how awful it is.

Hope you get some sleep, purple, will be thinking of you in the morning x

Welcome beth and oak. Sorry for your losses. I hope you find the support and advice you need here and in RL.
Good luck tomorrow, purple. FX for you.
No email back from Coventry, and a bit miffed Tbh... I need a new plan, or at least someone whose prepared to review the current one. I'll phone if I don't hear back this week.
Waves to everyone. Enjoy your holiday longest, enjoy your sex, cloud, enjoy your job (and well done ) Tanny.

sorry oldlake, for your name wrong on my phone.

congrats to you, too, butterfly. x

It's busy tonight. Sorry in advance if I miss anyone

Welcome Beth & Old Oak to the page no-one wants to join, sorry to hear your sad news & sending you big hugs x

Purple- thinking of you x

Tanny- congratulations

Waving at everyone and sending good dream vibes x

Welcome newbies, sorry you find yourselves here.

tanny well done, one less thing to think about!

purple thinking of you tomorrow

charlie glad you are feeling positive and the results show one of the better scenario's.

I have taken the plunge and contacted coventry. Apparently just have to ring when opk is positive and set up appointment. Gulp..

Just, they didn't contact anyone yesterday. I had also emailed to know how to stop cyclogest and clexane. Don't know if to go cold turkey or reduce it...

Thanks for your replies ladies, it is sill quite fresh in my mind. But I deffinately handled this loss better (I think) i mean it was slightly different as it was over quick this time and I was only 5 weeks and no operation this time. Also I was kind of ready for it. I just feel as though my body has let me down and I hate it or like I'm being punished for something. It's kinda good to talk about. I have regular councelling but I don't find I really talk about how I feel about it xx

Hope they get back to you soon, Tiny. I think that you can slowly reduce it once the placenta is ready to take over, how did it look on your last scan? I'd wait until the next scan and then reduce it after that. Maybe Tanny knows? Good luck!

I'm just feeling a bit cut adrift, like I'm the only person ever to go to Coventry and then fail to conceive There must be a next step... I don't think we can just go on trying for ever and I'm not getting any younger. V irritating