Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Hugs to you bootles. We'll all be hand holding this weekend xxx

Hope everything goes as quickly and comfortably as it can bootle. I'm not bleeding today and didn't overnight, stopped exactly on 5 weeks! I didn't have any medication though, if there's a next time I will definitely ask for it whether I start bleeding or not as it was very drawn out last time as well.

just what I struggle with is how much my emotions are compounded by my hormones at that time of the cycle anyway, so it feels a little out of control. Although we're now on an enforced break of unknown duration waiting for appointments and test results, I'm really appreciating not TTC for the first time in 34 months. No temping, no opks, no drugs or multiple supplements, no acupuncture, no chinese herbs, no watching my cycle, monitoring cm, timing dtd, no imminent scans, clinic visits, blood tests etc. It's like I have my life back! I didn't realise how exhausting and all consuming it had become for such a long period of time. I'm sure I'll be chomping at the bit and getting frustrated by more waiting again soon though! The consultant said we'd both be tested for chromosome issues, didn't realise this could take 8 weeks, the earliest our clinic appointment might be is the end of September, that would take us to end of November, then waiting for an appointment to discuss results, then waiting for the next cycle to start IUI again.... Bloody hell, it could be Christmas before we could even start TTC again! That would then be our 3 year TTC mark. How utterly depressing.

Bootles so sorry. I hope it goes physically smoothly, iykwim, and you are well looked after. Will be thinking of you.

Just bloody AF can just do one! I keep wanting this to be your month... You'd better be swinging from the rafters this month!

Triple how are you doing lovely? I hope things are OK.

Barking I agree that it was lovely to have an enforced break from TTC, which I did for 5 months.

Thank you for your supportive words. You made me cry. Although that's quite easy at the moment.

I think I have totally underestimated the emotional investment needed to get past your normal MC week, if that makes sense. I have been so prepared for everything going wrong before I got to 6 weeks and to get past it feels so much more scary. Like I'm having to learn a whole new set of rules. And I really don't know how this one is going to end. It's a headfuck.

We're finally going camping this weekend, so I won't be able to post much after about 6pm, but will try and catch up when I'm back.

((((((Bootles))))))

jbrd ask about supplements on the TTC on pred thread on conception- experts over there.

tanny it is brilliant that you are into uncharted territory! but the next few weeks are going to be nerve-wracking for you. Here to hand hold....

just sorry the witch got you.

longest good luck for the party. I've organised some spectacular parties displacement activity for my boys in the last 2 miserable RMC years. the bar is set high for the future now!

I did C25K last summer, would recommend for anyone wanting to get fit. I'm intending to start again in September.

Moving house today well, moving in with my parents while we wait for the house to be bought off plan to be built. Its far too hot for such a strenuous day. I hope I'm pregnant when we come to move in. I was pregnant when we picked it and its very much a family home.

I hope everyone is making more of this gorgeous weather than us. Perfect for camping --looks with green eyes at Tanny! Though I'm glad you've got such a nice distraction this weekend to take your mind off the stress (I hope).

Sorry to hear it hasn't been the month Just. Very much hoping you get more luck next month.

Barking - I'm on the enforced break too. Not enjoying it as much truth be told. Husband had to 'spurn my advances' yell "no Twilight, I've just had an operation and we are supposed to wait until our appointment" and flee when I last ovulated.

Hugs to Triple and Bootles.

Hi everyone!!!

just sorry this wasn't your month. The ttc journey is so frustrating and it can feel like you're waiting forever. Fingers crossed for next month!!!

tanny jealous of your camping trip, sounds fab. Hope it helps to take your mind off everything.

twilight happy moving day. I'm sure within a year of being in your new house there will be a new arrival in your family home.

barking you're doing so great. My enforced break killed me.

We're back on drugs and ttc now. I'm waiting for ovulation now and it's timing badly. My grandpa misses my Gran so much he tried to end his life yesterday. I think he's going to pull through it physically but mentally I don't know. Feel so heart broken for him.

Hugs to you all. Happy times ahead I hope. Xx

Cat That is so sad. Your poor grandfather. Life can be so cruel eh?

Party went off without a hitch. Is more work to organise than I anticipated though! Dh spent the weekend pulling pork and dsis did a sterling job on the cake. Happy dd. Phew.

DM said her identical twin sis has non-clotting blood, so presumably she does too. Might explain her fertility issues too if it's a family trait. Just need to wait to see Mr Rai now.

Cat So sorry about your grandfather, that sounds awful. Did your grandmother pass away recently or unexpectedly? It is such a big change in someone's life and needs lots of adjustment. Wishing him lots of strength.
I can imagine that it's a bit of a mood killer for ttc...

bootle How are you doing?! Hope it is all over by now and went without any problems and that you are more at peace now.

barking How come you have to wait so long to get test for chromosome issues?! All they need to do is take some bloods for that... Or did I read that wrong?

Those enjoying the break from ttc - oh, I am so with you. I'm back 'in the saddle' now for only a few days, but I already miss the freedom! Back to temping, charting, taking the flippin' folic acid, testing for ovulation, let alone the dtd on time... urgh.

I haven't gotten round to getting any extra supplements yet (although I might stick a few things on the Ocado order for tomorrow...). After doing some more reading about what I can do to improve egg quality, it hit me yesterday - really not much at all. Because all the eggs that will ever travel down my tubes are already there, and have been for a long time. I'd forgotten about the fact that we are born with all our eggs, duh. So there is really very little -if anything- I can do to improve them
DH, on the other hand, will now be put on a strict regime of low caffeine, low alcohol, more exercise and the supplements that I was planning to take

But it made me realise what risk I am taking ttc-ing again. And how easily I can all go wrong. Again.

Evening ladies,
On phone so brief post.
cat, so sorry to hear about your grandfather. How sad. And so upsetting for your family. Hugs.
It is a faff, isn't it JBrd. Good luck.
Been to the cbeebies prom with neice today. Lots of fun. Nice to be out and about with 3 year old. Took her in a taxi, which she loved, so I am super aunty now.
Off to try out hypnotherapy tomorrow, so we'll sew...

jbrd I feel your pain. It's so tiring being good all the time. What day are you on?

just that sounds like fun!

bootles thinking of you still. How are things?

My gran died just over a year ago. She was 85 and grandpa is 88 so it's impossible for him to build a new life. He's much better today but confused. I hope he feels better soon, he's always been so strong and healthy it's a big shock despite his ripe old age.

XXX

Cat, so sorry about your grandad

Jbrd, it's a faff... My hyper fertility means I don't normally plan or chart or take temps... I use the period tracker app to know when o day is and that is it...

And I am only 4 days past o day and last night was getting the feeding aversion so am convinced I am pregnant... But could also be because little miss had nearly unheard of 3 hour nap so didn't sleep till 10:30 and just wanted mummy milk and I was getting touched out...

I have to confess I don't do much planning or charting or whatever either - just make sure we dtd every couple of days and especially around ov date which I reckon (from CM and past experience of when I get BFPs) is 2-3 weeks before my period is due. The Dr told me it was best to dtd regularly throughout your cycle rather than concentrate on ov dates. But then it normally takes me about 3 (well, exactly 3 so far actually) of my very long cycles to get a BFP. Do you reckon my success rate would be higher if I did more charting? Aren't you supposed to dtd just before ov ideally though?

longest I think it really depends on what you like, regarding temping and charting. I am a control freak (and I like charts/graphs!), so the temping/charting gives me a sense of control over something that is otherwise very difficult to get my head around, if that makes sense. I am lucky that I have regular cycles, but I have heard many stories from people who said that charting helps them tracking ov with irregular cycles. From what I have read, it's recommended to dtd before, during and even shortly after ov - just to make sure all bases are covered

I can only speak from my own experience, but with OPKs, temping/charting, CBFM, ewcm-checking etc., it has taken me 1-2 cycles to fall pg in the past, so I'll be going with the 'never change a winning team' approach this time again.

The downside is that it fuels obsession - it does not help me to relax, staring at those graphs and counting down to ovulation . Two sides to everything...

longest I'd been TTC for a year before I started temping and charting, it was only then that I realised I didn't ovulate on cd14. Ever. We'd been dtd mostly every other day so wasn't like we hadn't been covering all bases, but with a 7 or 8 day luteal phase it was never going to happen. Since then I've been trying everything to lengthen the LP: b6, wheat free diet, Chinese herbs, acupuncture....

Jbrd I like the graphs too! Our wait is for the rmc appointment, then the results, then the next appointment to discuss the results, then the next available IUI cycle.

twilight I'm sure I'll be getting impatient again very soon but I'm currently on holiday (thunderstorms in the south of France, camping...) and very much appreciating not having to take my usual mountain of herbs and supplements twice a day, working out what the hell to eat in France while avoiding wheat to balance my hormones (France without croissants, pan au chocolate or baguettes?!?!) and generally not being at home trying to schedule blood tests, scans, injections and acupuncture around work, which is what ttc means for us.

cat sorry to hear about your grandad .

Currently in a tent on WiFi! What has the world come to?!
Went on a massive two day hike over the last two days, over 5 mountain cols. Stayed in a tiny tent with two of us and the dog. 14 hours of walking over the two days. Very broken today and chilling out in our much bigger tent!

Bootles how are you doing?

barking my LP is only about 8 days too. I think it has something to do with my inability to conceive naturally and my subsequent mcs. What day do you ovulate on? X

When I started temping it was cd19 or cd22, more often cd22. Clomid brought it forward by only a couple of days, acupuncture + herbs + b6 + wheat free diet brought it forward to cd17 one cycle but then AF arrived really early so LP was the same anyway. It might have continued to improve but then I started IUI so I don't know whether the IUI will affect future cycles. Ironically it's a bit pointless knowing now as we're not ttc until after the rmc so I'm not going to bother with the charting - when we start again it will be IUI anyway, then onto IVF if it doesn't work.

Well glad the weekend is over. First time for taking the meds to induce bleeding and had a panic that they wouldn't work. Luckily they did..about 6 hours later. Sorry if this is TMI, but the seive technique worked, so pretty sure products have been sent off. Was worse than last time though, much more blood,including foot prints on the floor at one point..again sorry if tmi but I don't know where else I can safely say such things,and sort of need to say it somewhere.

From finding out all was not not well to actual mc has been 2.5 weeks. All the scans, and limbo, and appointments..all so bloody time consuming and stressful and distressing. At the weekend I did have a glimpse of the feeling that people must reach when they decide not to try again. I just thought..I just can't bear to put myself through this anymore. But we probably will try again. I think.

triple if you are reading this I do hope you are doing ok x

cat so sorry about your grandad, I hope he is able to get the professional help he needs. It really sucks.

longest great the party went well. How long until your appointment with Mr Rai? Keep us updated..sounds hopeful there maybe a clear cause?

jbrd the eggs thing..I know what you mean,but I think I read something explaining that the chromosomal changes occur as egg matures each month..not sure at all though..will see if I can find what I read. I also need to read up on supplements.

Hi all.
Just wanted to let u know that I saw Dr this am, I managed to hold it together and only had a little weeping moment. She was lovely, very sympathetic, talked through a few things and just said lets get some specialists involved and I have an appointment on 9 Sept at local hospital. So its a start. And not that long a wait, any longer and I wld be too impatient to not ttc.

Hugs to you bootles. Sounds like it was awfully hard but I hope the worst is behind you now. I'll keep hoping that this time you get some answers and next time it's a better outcome. I'm sure you will get there.

barking none of that makes any difference to my cycle. I've tried it all. Do you take B6 from day 1?

leons pleased to hear your GP was kind and is going to get the ball rolling for some help and tests. It's good they are seeing you soon too!

Thanks all for asking after my grandad. He is much improved and we've all been to see him tonight. I love him so much! I know it sounds terrible but the thought of losing my family terrifies me even more than it used to since I've had infertility and mc. I think it's because I know there might not be younger ones behind me in the times ahead.

XX

cat the b6 made no difference on its own, but I was advised to try it again (higher strength, 100 I think) with high strength vit c alongside the acupuncture and wheat free diet. Like I said, it didn't lengthen the LP just made everything shorter . Still, can't say we haven't tried everything! My last attempt was part of a plan from catching rainbows following advice from another long term ttc-er who had gone for a personal plan and really rated it. She's now 12 weeks pg despite multiple problems and an ectopic!
Have you tried Angus castus? I was about to before the iui.

bootles sounds horrific, hope it's now all over and you can move on to happier times

Just wrote an epic post but then my internet died. Basically it said hugs to cat, Bootles and Barking and good stuff to Leons- which hospital will you be at? I am pleased to hear about your grandad cat and that the worst is over physically Bootles. Thinking also of triple*.

JBrd I think Bootles is right. Coco told me about the link between late ovulation and poor egg quality for example.

It's on the 13th Aug Bootles. Feels like ages away but I am on holiday next week so hopefully it will go quickly.

Barking Enjoy the rest of your holiday. God knows you deserve to! Well done on the cycling and camping too.

Bootle, hope you're OK? It sounds like you've had a horrible time over
the weekend. Hope you're on the road to recovery now. x

Hello lovely ones, how are you doing?

Got back from camping last night and was being sick by 11, so it's definitely the house that makes me sick!

I'm on my tablet, in the bath, so I might end up doing multiple posts!

JBrd I took a load of stuff for a while, which I think helped my cycle but have no idea about egg quality. Maca root was the main one, along with B complex, Omega Complex, Vit D, Royal Jelly, and Folic Acid. Maca is good for men too, I do recommend it. I also had acupuncture in the lead up to conception and am still having it to maintain the pg. Good luck x

Bootles it sounds fucking awful. So sorry, and really hope you are home and comfortable x

Triple I hope you're OK lovely, please come back when you're ready. We're here for you x

Cat your Grandpa sounds lovely! I hope he gets the support he needs. Depression in the elderly is very common and seldom discussed or treated, but it can be done. He can receive medication or talking therapy just as we would. His GP can support him to access both.

Damn, I was doing so well, am going to guess that it was Barking and Cat who were talking lengthening LP. Maca and acupuncture both helped take mine to a pitch perfect 28 days, where I'm normally 26. My LP was always 14 days though, I just ovulate early in my cycle.

Tiny how are your boobs? Stop tweaking them! Definitely chase Coventry for your results, just in case.

Just x

And in my corner? My GP has refused to continue my prescription from Prof B (ggggrrrrr) so am having to get a private prescription sent through.

I have foolhardily got my booking in appointment today, so watch me dissolve into a puddle of tears.

Next scan is next Monday, in Coventry, and I'll be 9+1!

Feeling sick, so ridiculously tired, bloated, huge spotty saggy socks of boobs, and with the sense of smell of a bloodhound. Yes TIAP!