Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Thanks all.

tiny because there's a HB they say if I took the meds anyway it would be a whole different lot of paperwork and go on my record as a termination (apparently with no explanation) and they advised I really didn't want this. Think it would mess with my head more. Scan tomorrow.

Thing is this was my worst outcome..with loss 2, I had to walk around for a week waiting for a termination - this was after a 12wk scan (arms, legs, all bits, moving) where so many problems were found it was given a 90% chance of death in utero. We thought it fairest to terminate. It really burned.

jbrd totally get what you are saying. I had a little word with embryo this morning. I do need to do something to mark all their endings at some point, but for me I know that needs to be when I am in a better place. For what its worth I don't think you are crazy to try again.

triple hope you are hanging in there x

baking yes I am determined to retrieve products..though I will be gutted if I don't get results. Have thought about NK cells...

Tanny love the rings. All your feelings are normal and natural in my opinion. Try not to feel guilty..a) you have been through so much already, b) we all want the best for you..c)no pregnant woman should have to feel guilty that they are upduffed when others aren't, even those with no losses - so you definitely shouldn't!

longest not sure..it annoys me that they send a load of results with no explanation. Guaranteed to drive you crazy.

Leon's so sorry to hear of your losses and what you are going through now. I think St.Mary's RMC in London has some sort of criteria you have tomeet but I'm not certain of what it is. Go to your gp with some things written down that you want to say, and it doesn't matter if you lose it in there. A gp should be used to people in all sorts of emotional turmoil.

To be fair I asked them to send the results. Thought they would be easier to interpret, but it's a graph! Dh is more scientific than me and thinks it definitely shows have the hyperfibrolysis thing- not enough clotting.

Wow Ladies, thank you all so much. You are amazing. I cldnt have gathered that kind of information from google. I will let you know how I get on with my gp on Monday. Im in South London by the way so Im guessing I will be referred to St Marys. Any idea what the normal wait is?
bakingtins where and at what stage did you have the Genetic and AMH testing. Were you offered them at clinic you were referred to or did you have to go elsewhere.
Thanks again all.

Leons You normally get referred to your local rmc and then on to st Mary's if the tests the rmc do don't show anything but you can try to push for a referral straight to st Mary's. I ended up going down the private route but am on the nhs waiting list too. I think it is about 3 months.

Bootles Hugs. Not sure what else to say. Is just horrible.

As I was north London I went straight to St Marys on the NHS. I think it was 2 month wait but it was back in early 2011

I had karyotyping ( blood test for chromosome abnormalities) for me and DH done by GP after mc3, genetic testing of products organised by gynae dept after mc4. AMH test done by private consultant after mc3, she said it was not available on NHS.
the karyotyping doesn't rule out genetic problems in the embryos as most arise randomly, but it does make sure neither parent is carrying and passing on a defect. if something is found then you'd be offered genetic counselling. This test takes ages (c8 weeks) to come back so worth trying to get it done ASAP so you are not waiting for an appointment then waiting ages for results.

Mr Rai at St Mary's didn't recommend karotyping for me at this stage though as he said the results wouldn't affect his recommended course of treatment. It is quite pricey privately- think they said £800 but I don't know if that was just me or me and dh- think the latter. Maybe it is more worth doing if there are other factors in favour of ivf as there is more they could do to select embryos etc?

Am feeling a bit better now I feel on the way to a diagnosis. I think it sounds like I have something treatable. Bit scared about what it means for my general health though and sad that if I had only known my other embryos could probably have been saved. Might start a fitness regime. Anyone want to join me and spur each other on?

Hope your weekends are at least better than the week has been. It's dd's party on Sunday. Need to get baking and making a pass the parcel and so on. It's the first year she has really known what to expect from a party. Am feeling the pressure!

lurker up for fitness. I am battling the comfort eating issues - I think I mentioned the emotional eating workshop in September that I hope will help.

Also sorting out a dodgy knee as I used to run every Saturday in parkrun and haven't done it in ages.

And is she turning 3?
We had a party last year (2) but don't think she had the anticipation...

Oh dear, I'm having a wobble today. BFN, 8 months TTC. I feel so fucking angry at this situation. Why am I different?! I didn't ask for this! Feeling like it will never happen. Sorry. X

Oh just so sorry... Here's to hoping this is your body wanting to choose a perfect one for the next pregnancy

Welcome leon Sorry you find yourself here, but you will get lots of support and handholding.

Like the others have said, after 3 mcs in a row, you are eligible for tests on the NHS - did they retrieve the embryo after your last one, so that they could test that? They did that for me, plus the karyotyping for me and DH and a scan to check my uterus and ovaries.
It's just so sh*t, isn't it.

tanny The rings are beautiful. And please do not feel bad about being pg! We are all routing for you and cheering you on, don't give in to the survivor's guilt.
Don't worry how it will all work out when the baby is here, that is the least of your worries now. One day at a time, today you are pregnant! If you feel you're struggling, I can highly recommend the Pregnant After Mc thread - everyone on there will know exactly what you are talking about! It's so sad that you can't fully enjoy being pg anymore, once you've had a mc, isn't it?

longest Enjoy your DD's party - it's those little things that remind us what's important in life... I'll be going to a b-day party with DS, too, and am really looking forward to seeing some of my friends there.

Right, ladies - I need your advice and wisdom. Apart from the usual folic acid cocktail, what other vitamins and supplements are good for ttc, especially for boosting egg quality?! On my list so far are: DHEA, CoQ10, omega oil and Royal Jelly (the latter with a question mark). Anything else that I can take to improve my eggs? And what should DH take?

Just - I am sorry. Is it definitely a no for this cycle or is it still too early to know? I hate ttc too - I have never conceived very quickly and it's unbearable - all that emotional energy spent on wondering and then you get a BFP and are terrified of mc anyway.

Tanny, Baking You two are beacons of hope for us all.

JBrd I don't know but am watching with interest. Not ttcing yet as still waiting for results but may as well get my body ready.

Tiny - Good-oh. Have 2 hours to myself this afternoon for the first time in ages so could go for a run but it's so fecking hot, and our local pool is closed, and I need to go shopping for dd's party.... Will try though. Yes, she will be 3 though her actual birthday is when we are away in Wales. I am not much of a baker but I have Charlie and Lola cake toppers and everything!

just Cross post. Sorry you are having a rough day! Let's be honest, ttc after mc is just rubbish, isn't it. No joy in it at all. I hate it. It's so unfair. And lonely.

Can you do something nice for yourself? Massage, facial, or maybe go on a great holiday? Buy something you always wanted? Something to take you mind off things and to give yourself a treat. You deserve it.

I find that exercise helps me deal with the anger and frustration - although I have to admit that I have thought about smashing some plates!

Right, will now stop with the Dr Googling and actually do some work. Have managed to persuade myself I have sodding leukaemia.

Thanks JBrd, Tiny and Longest. Sorry for the outburst. AF not yet here (I know, I know), but 'old faithful' spot on the back of my neck is here and I feel enraged, like I could put the Middle East in the naughty corner and totally sort that shit out, and also a bit teary, so lots of PMS symptoms! I'll be OK. Been for a swim, which always helps me chill out. Miniscule chance I've tested too early, but I'm not holding out much hope. This TTC lark is properly draining.
Good luck to those starting with some exercise, I would be lost without my swimming, I think training really helps (today's outburst notwithstanding!).
Tanny, those rings are lovely. Hope you're doing OK? I know it must be so scary, we're all rooting for you! Are you past your 'danger point' now? Easy to say, less easy to do, but try to relax. Today you are pregnant.
Bootle and Triple, how are you doing? Thinking of you.
Waves to Baking :)
Sorry if I've missed anyone. I'm on my crappy overheating laptop today so slightly easier to post. I'm hoping to get a new laptop next week, or soon (if I don't spend all my money on clothes and nights out in the mean time... ooops).

By the way, I've seen this 'open evening' advertised. I might go (not that I think it's the kind of treatment I need): Harley Street Fertility Clinic Open Evening

Leons, sorry that you find yourself here. You should be able to get your GP to refer you to St Mary's, and I'm pretty sure you're entitled to it. You might find you have to chase (read my experiences here.
Of course we all know about age blah blah, but you deserve to rule out any other (treatable) issue, and then you can make a properly informed choice about your body and your family, so I'd certainly push for referral and don't let your GP or anyone else fob you off. Good luck!

Aaaaand, here she is. AF got me. You could set your watch by me. Hopefully I will start to feel slightly less insane now. Stoopid hormones. :/

Sorry Just. Sometimes I start to feel a bit better once I have accepted AF is here. The limbo is the worst. Sometimes have a little cry first though .

I like swimming, Just, especially outdoors. We have a lovely outdoor pool near us that is practically empty in the evenings and I used to go a lot before dd and now she is bigger and I am feeling like I could take it up again it is shut for the whole Summer, for reasons best known to the Council. Tiny - my next nearest one is the Parliament Hill lido which I can get to pretty quickly on the little train to Gospel Oak, though it would still be a push to make it if I wait till after dd's bedtime as they kick you out at 8:30. Still, I might give it a go so if you ever fancy giving it a whirl together let me know.

I am too much of a wuss, grew up swimming in Portuguese waters...

Only time I went to a Heath pond you wouldn't want a small child within earshot of me while I was getting into the freezing water - and it was a warm August day!!

Also my DD's bedtime is 8-ish... I wouldn't be able to get there in time... ok daddy could do it one day... but she still likes her mummy milk to fall asleep... yes I am a pushover

but thanks for the offer

I waited 3 months for St.Mary's appointment - am also in London and my local hospital part of the same trust.

Scan today showed no heartbeat after all the 'no there isn't, yes there is' business. So have the medication and a presumably unpleasant weekend up ahead.

St Mary's ointment? If only there was one. Appointment even.

Just to say just sorry its not this month..I hate TTC, end up wishing life away into build up to O day, build up to earliest possible test day..its a strange kind of madness hey. Now you are into the next cycle though..