Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

988 replies

bakingtins · 02/06/2014 08:07

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

OP posts:
barkingtreefrog · 21/07/2014 08:21

Ha, my DH is 'fine'. I think it's a tricky subject as men often try to be the strong ones and can't/won't admit their own emotions.
longest thanks for the advice. It's interesting what you say about ovulating, I hadn't thought of that but it does make sense. I do think from a lot of googling some women have an anovulatory cycle after a mc though, so it's still a possibility that this is just (a heavier than normal for me) AF. Which would be good news in terms of cycles returning a lot quicker than last time! I might call the clinic today as the nurse said to call if I was worried (I haven't been to epu at all for this one as the assisted conception unit have done all my scans and blood tests so far). At the very least they can tell me whether I'm safe to wear a tampon!!

longestlurkerever · 21/07/2014 09:54

Or a Mumsnet favourite mooncup? I don't thinkt they're recommended for mc either because of the risk of infection but for AF I swear by them now!

TinyTear · 21/07/2014 09:57

Can't help. I hate tampons anyway... Pads for me...

last mc i used maternity pads... a bit more absorbent...

longestlurkerever · 21/07/2014 09:58

PS I think my dh is OK. A bit grumpy but that's not unusual! He was more into the idea of pregnancy this time though - discussing baby names etc - whereas before he was very cautious about getting excited - so I might check up on him. I actually find it easier now that he is on the same page as me tbh - before he was being much more patient and laid back than me and I found it a bit lonely. Thanks for the article cat.

barkingtreefrog · 21/07/2014 10:07

longest I've been meaning to get a mooncup for ages but kept thinking maybe I won't need one for another 9 months though. After 32 months of thinking this I should probably just order one!!
tiny I'm in France on a biking holiday, it's sweaty hot and I'll be on a bike for hours at a time. Sanitary towels are not the best option for me right now!
Waiting until everyone leaves the house so I can call the clinic in private.

JBrd · 21/07/2014 10:25

barking Oh no, how rubbish! It's insult to injury... Sorry I can't help with any words of wisdom, other than saying that my fist AF post-mc has always been really heavy, messy and looooonnngg! Last time it went on for over a week, and I honestly thought I'm going to need iron supplements a blodd transfusion, it just wouldn't stop! But I'd try and get in touch with the EPU to try and get some reassurance. How are you feeling, other than the pain? Try to take it easy, if you can...

I've forwarded DH the BBC article about partners and dealing with mc... He doesn't talk about it, really, other than when I ask him directly. I think that he is very good now (after all the practice he has had!) at not getting too emotionally involved early on when I now fall pg - at least that's what he claims! I think he is affected by how I am affected and that this is the main reason why he is starting to be more hesitant about trying again.
I have to admit that I find it increasingly difficult to talk to him about it all...

We have the meeting with the consultant about the test results from our last mc tomorrow, I don't even know how I feel... I had a big low last night, brought on by the arrival of AF, panicking about time running out and ttc. I think the counselling lady is having her work cut out for her next week.

Catlover2014 · 21/07/2014 13:31

Has anyone here used a mooncup during mc? I've never had one but didn't think it would be suitable as assumed too much fluid? If it is I might buy one if I ever get another BFP.

jbrd glad you've forwarded to DH. I think it is hard for them but they feel they have to be strong for us. My DH cried at counselling this morning.

Good luck for your appointment tomorrow btw. I hope you get good answers and an encouraging treatment plan.

X

Catlover2014 · 21/07/2014 13:32

barking hope you get through to the clinic and they are helpful x

barkingtreefrog · 21/07/2014 14:23

Just spoke to the clinic. The nurse suggested I do a pg test then I'd be fine to use tampons if bfn. She said to use pads overnight to be safe. Trouble is, I debated whether to bring any tests with me to check for a bfn but decided I didn't want to. I'm even less inclined to buy one using my crap French.. The bleeding is heavier and red and very much AF like now so I'm going for the tampon option during the day. I've convinced myself as the levels were dropping while I was spotting, the lump I passed will have been the end which made way for this ridiculously heavy AF.

longestlurkerever · 21/07/2014 14:42

Cat I looked it up as I hate pads so much, especially in this heat (though the cottony ones are better and someone mentioned a naturecare or something brand that are apparently good). I think it'd be better than a tampon as it's less reliant on absorbency so better for clots etc but I read that the reason they don't recommend tampons or sex while miscarrying is a risk of infection and the same would apply to a mooncup.

Aw bless your dh. I hope counselling did you both some good.

Barking* - It does sound like that lump was the trigger for something - I hope it's the beginning of the end at least and you feel better soon.

JBrd · 21/07/2014 16:01

cat I'm really doubtful about using a mooncup when mc-ing. The main reason is that you want things out, and with the mooncup, I'd be too worried about anything getting stuck/being left in that needs to get out, and then resulting in infection. If they recommend not to use tampons during a mc, I can't see how this should be any different from a mooncup.
I've had infections after some of my mcs, and they are not fun.
I'd really recommend discussing this with your GP/midwife/consultant, should it ever be necessary.

Catlover2014 · 21/07/2014 20:54

Thanks longest and jbrd. I think I'll steer clear for now!

barking hope the bleeding isn't as heavy tonight and you're having a nice holiday.

Waving 'hello' to all you lovely ladies tonight. Xx

Original poster
bakingtins · 22/07/2014 07:16

jbrd thinking of you today. Hope you get answers.

barking hope your bleeding settles now and you can get on with your holiday. I guess that bit of tissue was what has been delaying your BFN, so hopefully your cycle can rest itself now.

OP posts:
Original poster
bakingtins · 22/07/2014 07:17

Reset not rest.

OP posts:
Triplespin · 22/07/2014 08:22

Jbrd - all the best for today.

Barking - glad you are nearing the end now with bleeding. Hope you are able to enjoy your holiday in the circumstances.

Hi everyone else!

tannyLoo · 22/07/2014 08:47

JBrd thinking of you and your DH today lovely.

Justonemoretime · 22/07/2014 08:47

JBrd. Thinking strong and brave thoughts for you today. X

TinyTear · 22/07/2014 09:40

Hope all goes well today jBrd

longestlurkerever · 22/07/2014 10:02

I hope you get some answers JBrd. Thinking of you.

JBrd · 22/07/2014 14:35

Thank you all for your support, that is so kind.

Just got back from the consultant appointment. Very straightforward result from the post-mortem: The baby had Edwards Syndrome (Trisomy 18). Everything else was/is absolutely fine, both with me and DH.

The consultant was very lovely and reassuring, but it comes down to this - my age will be the major risk factor for any subsequent pregnancy, should we decide to go down that route (that's my wording, he was more subtle). I will be very well looked after and be offered every test to look at chromosomal issues, should I get that far.

So, this makes 2 out of my 4 mcs having been caused by chromosomal abnormalities. And nothing can be done about that.

I feel strangely relieved that they did find a specific cause, although I sort of wish it had been something they could treat (the usual dilemma).
No idea what this will mean in terms of ttc for us...

TinyTear · 22/07/2014 14:35

Yet another assessment!
But I shall get 10 sessions of counselling starting in mid august as they are closing for holidays.

TinyTear · 22/07/2014 14:39

Cross post. Jbrd good there was a reason if you see what I mean but I understand you about the non treatment thing. A lot to process...

Hope your counselling will also help you

Catlover2014 · 22/07/2014 14:57

jbrd pleased to hear he was lovely but sorry it wasn't the answer you wanted. At least you can also know not all the eggs are going to have that problem so it's surely worth trying again? I'm keeping everything crossed that next time is the lucky one.

XxxX

Original poster
bakingtins · 22/07/2014 16:05

jbrd that must have been a difficult appointment. I hope having an answer and knowing that nothing could have been done differently to affect the outcome brings you some peace about the loss of your baby. Tough decisions ahead whether you can try again and hope for a good embie Flowers

OP posts:
longestlurkerever · 22/07/2014 16:11

JBrd I am sorry if you have already posted this but do you have a known cause for the other two mcs? In a way the chromosomal diagnosis is good, isn't it? Even if they had found a different cause for this mc the age-related risk factor would still be there for future pregnancies. So if that's the only or predominant cause of your mcs to date then that is good news in that there might not be an additional risk factor and you might have better luck next time? Or have I misunderstood? Hugs anyway, I am sure it was hard to listen to whatever the logic of it all is. Take a few days to let it sink in and keep posting if you want to talk.