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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

988 replies

bakingtins · 02/06/2014 08:07

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

OP posts:
Catlover2014 · 02/07/2014 08:23

Morning ladies just wanted to post to share how sad I'm feeling today.

Not sure why but some days it just hits so hard. Does anyone else find this?

I'm 34 have no dc and after so many years of ttc and mc I fear I realise I will probably never have a baby of my own.

Yesterday a girl I work with said she hated waited and was a nervous wreck when it took 6 months to conceive her textbook pregnancy / healthy baby. How the other half live ay?! X

tannyLoo · 02/07/2014 08:31

Cat, sorry you're feeling sad today, but you are allowed! Some navel gazing is perfectly understandable...

And I believe in having hope and letting others carry hope for you when you can't do it yourself. Yesterday I felt terrible, but the hope that you and others here hold for me has meant I can carry on today.

Keeping your hope safe here in Somerset. x

barkingtreefrog · 02/07/2014 08:33

Wow, to get pg within 6 months! I wish! cat it's totally normal to have glum days. I can't believe we started ttc when I was 32 and now at 35 we're still childless, no natural pg's and two mc's, and I know you've been trying longer than me. It's tough when you're surrounded by bumps and babies and friends talking about trying for number 2 when you can't manage one Sad . Our time will come Thanks .

tanny I hope the clinic get back to you soon, must be so frustrating to wait for results you need asap.

Good news about the funding longest.

Without wanting to jinx anything I think my bleeding might be over. Not much yesterday and nothing overnight. Going to brave a pantyliner liner rather than a pad today but with a stash in my bag just in case Smile . That would make it 12 days of bleeding this time.

TinyTear · 02/07/2014 08:36

Aww cat we all have down days...

If it helps I was already 38 when I had my daughter after 3mcs... it's not too late

Catlover2014 · 02/07/2014 09:21

Thanks tanny, barking and tiny. It's so bloody hard sometimes isn't it? We will all get there though, just have to keep on fighting!!

tanny, glad you're feeling a bit better today. Any word from the hospital yet?

XX

TinyTear · 02/07/2014 13:54

ahrgh ahrgh ahrgh ahghr
just had surprise news...
happy for my friend (someone i know online and met her once) that she is pregnant but came as a shock

came as a shock to her too as her husband had low movement and they ended up with IVF for their girl...

happy but thinking ahhhhhrrrrgh...

tannyLoo · 02/07/2014 14:46

So hard, isn't it, Tiny? Have an arrrgghh from me...

So, talked to Kerri, who talked to Prof Brosens. They want me to go in for a scan on Friday to see how I'm doing, and he is going to chase up the lab personally, but they think my results won't be back until Tuesday as they have a backlog.

I'm taking the scan, even if it involves a four hour round trip. Anyone going to Coventry on Friday? We could try secret handshakes Grin

Acupuncture and shouting at Andy Murray are my relaxation strategies for today.

TinyTear · 02/07/2014 14:50

Oh nooo, a backlog! that doesn't seem good for me... well, only if i get a BFP on tuesday... which i probably won't

tannyLoo · 02/07/2014 14:52

I would say a bfp was pretty much guaranteed if there's a backlog!

TinyTear · 02/07/2014 14:54

ahahah yep, sod's law and all that

tannyLoo · 02/07/2014 15:35

Oh Andy, you plonker...

Catlover2014 · 02/07/2014 15:38

tiny uggggh I so feel your pain!!! It was recently pointed out to me (by a friend) that I'm the only one out of my group of girl friends from school without a child now.

Just been doing some voluntary work at a children's centre to get some experience for if we apply to adopt. Found it so hard to see all the families who are so blessed. I feel so guilty that DH will probably never know that lifestyle :(

tanny glad they are getting you in for a scan this week. Hopefully you'll also get the results back soon. X

Catlover2014 · 02/07/2014 15:39

tanny don't hate me BUT I don't like Andy Murray :/ x

tannyLoo · 02/07/2014 15:43

I've gone off him! The guy who beat Nadal yesterday is my new favourite Grin

TinyTear · 02/07/2014 15:47

Hmm both Murray and Nadal out? I wonder if Federer can go out as well
Grin

tannyLoo · 02/07/2014 15:49

It's about time we had some fresh blood!

Catlover2014 · 02/07/2014 16:01

Totally agree, it's been the same guys at the top for too long. That new Aussy is great fun to watch.

I do love Djokovich though, but not just for his tennis Wink xx

Triplespin · 02/07/2014 17:31

Tanny - that is a very long wait. At least you get a scan. How many weeks will you be at the scan? Fx for Friday!

Tiny - I agree about Sod's law. You may get the bfp now that there is a backlog. Good luck!

Nothing much here. Holding out for that elusive bfp (and sticky). I also have the threat of redundancy but hoping it won't matter as I will have my bfp soon.

tannyLoo · 02/07/2014 18:02

I'll be 4+3 by ov date, Triple, but my worry is that will still be too late. DH is coming too, so I'll have support if it's bad news and won't have to drive home in tears.

Hope your bfp comes soon x

longestlurkerever · 02/07/2014 19:10

Big hug to you cat. It is tough some days eh? It sounds like a lovely thing you're doing at the children's centre but imagine it is painful sometimes. My mum had a happy ending after 12 years of infertility though so no need to give up hope (not that I am wishing 12 years of this on you- that was back in the day).

Feeling a bit better today after a fun but exhausting and slightly chaotic day out with dd. Think we left some pretty traumatised fish in our wake in a Chinatown restaurant but the theatre was fun and dd charmed my colleagues when we called in. Even saw a pelican wrestling a massive fish in the park.

Just a quick q. Do you know what the advice is re long haul flights when you're at high risk of miscarriage. We are due to go to Australia in October for a family wedding. Obviously I will ask Mr Rai but just wondering if I should start getting my head around taking a break from ttc till we are back (or potentially sacking off expensive and in-law-fuelled trip instead)

Catlover2014 · 02/07/2014 19:24

Thanks longest your mom must have been so strong to wait that time. You were worth the wait though :)

Sounds like you've had a fab day! I don't know much about long haul and mc but I do think you should put yourself first and only do what feels right for you. It's a big thing to take on with current circumstances.

Triple fingers crossed for your BFP this month and a sticky happy bean! X

Original poster
bakingtins · 02/07/2014 19:43

Will they see anything that early, tanny ? I had a scan at 5+3 which was the earliest my EPU would scan me and it was still only a tiny sac and a foetal pole of 2mm, no HB. It was just to confirm pregnancy was in the right place before starting clexane but it wouldn't have told me much anything about viability or otherwise. I think I'd ask them about starting steroids anyway, if your NKcells turned out to be normal you could always wean off them again. Everything firmly crossed for you.

OP posts:
tannyLoo · 02/07/2014 20:09

Hi Baking, I thought so too, but I think it's to check there's a sac, I'm not expecting to see much yet, but something would be nice. I haven't had positive experiences of scans when pregnant in recent years, and now shake when I go to epac, so breaking the cycle by going there might help.

For me, it's a chance to see Prof B again and get a plan. There was mention of starting pred in amongst a load of other stuff. And there's an element of calm the clearly off her nut with anxiety woman down..

Triplespin · 02/07/2014 21:03

It makes sense to go over on Friday, if only to pick up the meds. 4+3 is very early, so I am sure It's not too late to start on the steroids.

Longest - do let me know if you find out about the long haul. I am flying in August - but would gladly not go if I know I will get a bfp!

Thanks catlover. I know it's awful seeing friends with kids (or multiples ones in our case). I can't recall now - have you had a diagnosis for your mcs so far or you are in the waiting process?

Homelander · 02/07/2014 21:37

Thank you all of you for your kind words. They do help!

Cat, I totally understand what you mean about feeling worse on some days than others. That was me on Monday. I hope you feel better this evening. And I was 38 when I had my 2 yo DD - so don't panic about age - 34 is a long way from where I am Grin. And can relate to your situation re your brother's baby, one of my friend's DW is due a couple of weeks after me. Their DD was is around the same age as mine.

Tanny glad your husband is going with you, hopefully you will be able to share a scan that shows everything is where it should be and you can drive back Smile

Tiny for my first two MMC I also made myself forget the exact date which does really help. I couldn't with this one though, I was pregnant for longer and had started to think it would be OK, so was thinking about having my summer baby and how near it was to my sister's wedding anniversary and all the million and one things we think about when we let ourselves think there may actually be a baby in 9 months time.

Longest that's really good news about your insurance covering the tests. Hope you are feeling better, it is hard to be at work when you are feeling a bit emotional, I hope as the days go by it gets easier for you.

Starting to think about TTC again, though will have to wait and see what the Royal Free RMC say to me. I am still quite up and down emotionally though and am nervous of TTCing and failing again and how I would cope. Not sure I can afford to wait much longer though, I am 41 in October....