Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 9

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Quick question ladies I still haven't had a letter about my referral or even a date for booking in and I'm 8 weeks soon. The referral was faxed 9th January what do I do now?! I tried hospital direct and was fobbed off to obstetrics and I have called several times different days times and no one ever answers and there's no answering message function. Gp has said referral was 100% faxed high priority. Not sure what else to do now!

Downstairs could you talk to the midwife directly to get some advice? Otherwise maybe get the GP to call and follow up on the fax... How annoying.

Argh, I had to use every willpower possible not to poas this morning. 13 DPO, and my temps are staying high... So tempted. But really want to hold out one more day.

i'd be chasing your GP!

I chased and chased to get an 8w scan last time. i wouldn't have coped not knowing anything till then, and before that i also had my booking appointment booked and the 12 w scan date...

squiz I was on 20mg clexane.

downstairs I agree with getting your GP practice to chase the referral for you if you can't get through directly. It drives me mad how inefficient the NHS is and they still do most things by snail mail. I got a copy of the 8 week scan report sent to my GP through the post only about a week ago, I'm 21 weeks

jbrd fingers crossed for a BFP tomorrow. Admiring your willpower!

If anyone has any positive thoughts to spare I'd appreciate them for my dad. He has had a cancer scare and is having a colonoscopy today it's likely to be a few days before we know anything, but obviously a worrying time.

jbrd I don't have a midwives number as they referred me to obstetrician as I'm too high risk for normal midwife care apparently.I think 13dpo should be good for a first response?!

tiny that's why I booked that private scan was worth it but so annoyed that the NHS have been a bit useless!

baking I know they was the same when I needed to see my neurologist everything just takes ages! Oh well I'll book another Gp appointment tomorrow as receptionists won't do anything and I'll tell him tomorrow the situation! Sending positive thoughts to your dad and some to you.

Ah baking sending positive thoughts your way for your Dad, must be so scary xx

So had my second scan today, as expected no further growth and no heartbeat. Actually relieved as was panicking I would go in and there would still be a v slowhb and I have a hard decision to make. Scan actually showed two sacs, one so tiny it wasn't picked up on the first tummy scan and only showed on the internal today, not sure how that makes me feel really.

So booked in on Wednesday for the ERPC, they said as the foetus is so small they may not be able to test fkr much but will give it a try. I'm scared, never had a general before, can anyone tell me what happens? I know it's really short which is good.

Congratulations on all the happy scan news in here lately, gives me huge hope!

Hi FiremanSamsWife sorry to hear your news, sending some your way. I found the erpc fine to be honest, the general made me a bit groggy when I first came round and I slept like a log that night but honestly it was very straight forward and minimal fuss. I bled for about 2 weeks after and had my first period six weeks after. Pain was very very light cramps. They gave me codeine but paracetmol was really fine for it. Hope you're OK. x

Fireman Sorry to hear your sad news. Hope that you get lots of support from friends and family.
I also found the ERPC very straightforward and very little pain or discomfort. Felt a bit groggy afterwards, but more or less 'normal' again the next day. The little pain I had was easily managed with paracetamol. Bled for about 10 days afterwards (stop & start), and then AF returned 5 weeks after.
To be honest, the worst thing for me was that you're not allowed to eat or drink before! I had to go nil by mouth from about 10pm the night before, but didn't get to theatre before mid-afternoon the next day - I was totally ravenous. Make sure that you have a substantial meal as late as possible, would be my advice. Good luck!

Baking sending lots of positive thoughts your way

Hi fireman
so sorry...

I had 2 ERPCs, the last one at the end of October last year.

The general was ok, i just felt myself drift and then woke up from a lovely deep sleep and drifted on and off for a bit.
but recovery was quick, i was just left lying down in a room for a bit, then ate some food and they ask if you have been to the toilet and if you are ok before letting you out with a 'responsible adult'

my first one was at 9am so i was let home at 3pm
this one I was delayed as there were emergencies so didn't go in till 11am or something so went home at 5pm (because had to wait for my husband to get our DD from nursery and come to get me)

hardest for me was that i was told not to breastfeed that night and it was difficult getting my DD to sleep as my husband can do it when i am not there, but with me there she wanted the mummy milk, so that made me cry not being able to help her...

both of mine were on wednesdays and with the first one i worked from home on friday but with the last one i took close to two weeks off as mentally i couldn't cope.

with both i bled for 2 weeks ish and then got the first AF about 4 to 5 weeks later

baking sending positive thought to your dad

Thanks so much Jbrd and Downstairs, that makes me feel a little easier about it all.

Now I know there were two sacs I feel even more of a failure, which my head knows is stupid, but I feel so unbelievably sad for.

So hard, I feel I have to be strong for everyone, but inside I'm falling apart.

X posts, thanks tiny too x

Don't feel you have to be strong. I did that and didn't allow myself to break down...

I had counselling after the last mc and that was something they needed to tell me - i am allowed to cry and to feel sad. it's allowed!!!

Fireman So sorry to hear it has been confirmed. :( My ERPC was - as others have said - quite worry-free and less physically painful than my natural losses. I just felt groggy for 24hr, bit sore, 1 week bleeding.

Baking Thinking of you and your dad. Hope all goes well.

Downstairs yeah I would chase. My GPs admin are RIDICULOUS and it seems fairly typical. They've faxed referrals to the wrong place before so it is worth double checking!

JBird POAS FX coming your way!

Showed my latest humdinger of a huge purple bruise to my school nurse. He was a bit OMG. Hoping I've just been clumsy... never had bruising like it for the last 20 days!

fireman I'm sorry your loss was confirmed. There's always a shred of hope there even if you are pretty sure it's going to be bad news. I haven't had ERPC but I had a GA after my DS was born to remove placenta and it was fine, I woke up feeling like I'd had a really good sleep but also like no time at all had elapsed.

squiz could you have hit a blood vessel? Some sites just seem to bruise more than others. It was better for me lower down towards my hip.

baking That's what I was thinking. Also, having tried all the easy spots and having little bruises, I may have now journeyed onto the less fatty more bruisy spots! Going to try the thigh next. Heard somewhere if there's not enough fat the clexane doesn't work but as the closest I get to sport these days is playing Angry Birds I should be OK!

Ahrgh fucking fucks!

on my birthdboard for my daughter the following post:

"to have another baby or not to have another baby... that is the question? last chance at 44 years old. What are the pros of having two"

which is fair enough to ask, especially if you are older and there isn't much time...

but the comments?
especially from someone who is now expecting her 5th (she wanted a girl and it's another boy, she was already devastated the 4th was a boy) about how shit olnly children are and how you can tell someone is an only and only children have cartain 'traits'

oh fuck the fuck off...

some people have no choice.... some people would love to have just the one and have none... some can't get a second...
ahhhrgh!
this woman is starting to annoy me a lot. she is sort of queen bee, and i thought she was ok, but she has been unbearable in the past 6 months or so...

and breathe....

Thanks all, had a massive sob and now curled on the sofa with chocolate and tea. And thanks Tiny, I will remember that xx

Ugh, some people and their comments, I can't make up my mind if they just don't think or if they do and still don't care how it makes others feel! One of my oldest 'friends' responded to my news today telling me that at least I had one, I should be grateful for him. She ended up making me feel guilty for being sad about tying for a second!

Sending you positive thoughts "Baking" xx

so sorry Fireman to read about your loss. Sending you my love.

Squiz I was looking at pics the other day of clexane bruises, it looks brutal. So far mine is half a centimetre like yours were. I wonder if they have got bigger as the blood is thinner.

Can someone advise me please? I have noted that when I laugh or cough there is a very tlight swinge on the right hand side and its making me worried. Has anyone else experienced this? I cant feel it when just sitting normally. Its just when i (ahem) strain.

could be muscles growing / stretching... can be normal...

Tiny I like "fuck the fuck off". I can see it having multiple applications.

Anyway, Queen Bee knows fuck all about only children. I'm one and I'm lovely!

My mum is the other way round and said to me after my first mc "You've got enough, haven't you?"

Bloody bollocks to them!

Fireman so sorry it's turned out this way. I had a termination when I was a young thing (don't think that doesn't haunt me) with a D & C. As other people have said, I just felt sleepy and sluggish for a few days, and very hormonal. I recommend back to back Cagney and Lacey on iplayer and copious tea to aid recovery. Thinking of you

tanny exactly! and I have one sister who I don't get on with. so there!

tum don't worry about twinges - it's just the uterine ligaments being stretched. I'm still getting them if I make a sudden movement.

tiny I think all our experiences of resisting the urge to say "fuck the fuck off" is going to guarantee us a sainthood.

fireman I think you might like If there is one thing I've learnt from all this it's never to say "at least..."

And whilst I'm posting youtube clips is the documentary about RMC testing at St Mary's, for the benefit of any newbies who haven't watched it.

Tiny oh god there are sooo many people who think they know it all. Ones with no kids ("don't waste the NHS' money on your whim") ones with one kid ("well that makes it easy for you") and ones with a brood (much the same as queen bee). Pffffttttt the lot of them.

Tum I had lots of twinges. Often on one side and has always been the luteal cyst (normal) aching. Also muscles can cause that.

Just had an embarrassing 'oh god i'm bleeding' run to the loo to find it was all CM.
Bruise is now black, raised and size of a tennis ball (round, not the lump!) thinking I brushed a blood vessel AND wore a belt the wrong place (rubbing it). Doh. Gonna try other places.

Squiz what did the doc say about the bruising? Can you get it down with ice or something cold?

Thanks guys for you comments - I hope it is the ligaments stretching!