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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Recurrent miscarriage support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 8

998 replies

Bakingtins · 01/11/2013 07:35

Welcome everyone, pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of company, information, moral support, tea or sympathy.

Can I suggest we start page 1 with a recap of where we are all up to, because my fuddled head can't keep track?

OP posts:
Justonemoretime · 27/12/2013 21:23

Squiz I always thought that 10dpo was the first day for an early test. Good luck! FX for you. :)

JBrd · 27/12/2013 22:45

Downstairs Congratulations, ov buddy! Didn't you think you were out at one point?! Goes to show Wink

And congrats to nearly, too! Very Envy of your Christmas BFPs!

Wishing you all a boring and uneventful pregnancy!

As for me, I do think that I am out for this cycle- I'm 11 DPO today and got a BFN yesterday. Not really that surprised, since we only managed to dtd once in my fertile window before I got the bladder infection. Although still a bit disappointed, as I have managed to get pg before with just one 'go'....hmph. Really will have to do better in the next cycle Sad I am so sick of this slog and just wish that DH would get more involved. Right now, I'm that close to giving him my FF password, so that he can start obsessing looking at my charts. Anyone got any advice on how to get the other half more 'on board'? Or is that just the total mood killer?

Justonemoretime · 27/12/2013 22:51

JBrd , feel your Envy for bfps. As for DP, try flattery and sexy underwear? Wink

DownstairsMixUp · 27/12/2013 23:26

Yeah jbrd i had a bleed! I am guessing it was implantation?? As for getting your dh on board no idea! Mine switches off as soon as i mention ovulation or fertile window so i tend to not speak of it much. Maybe not talking about it so much is key??

Original poster
bakingtins · 28/12/2013 08:01

jbrd you're not allowed to declare yourself out on day 10. It's not over until AF gets you.
I've had the same problem with DH at various points. I found the best thing was to tell him in general terms when I'd be ovulating at the beginning of a cycle (2 week warning!) and then not talk about it at the time.

OP posts:
squizita · 28/12/2013 09:32

I agree with Baking re DH, what I do is give him the warning (I put little stars on the calendar) and we try to DTD 3 times over the 4 day window. If it falls over a weekend or something that's good but I must admit if it's a busy time mid-week when I get the crazies he has grumbled that "you know why there's no book called 50 shades of nagging? Nagging ain't sexy!" Blush usually I try the don't nag, nice dates/time together romance method.

Also maybe try testing again in a few days? Even on the expensive tests (which I found on special offer in Boots yesterday so bought a couple) they say only 58% of BFPs are picked up day 10 and to try again day 14.

tannyLoo · 28/12/2013 10:20

Hey all, we all got through Christmas! New Year's to go then we're on the home straight...

Wowzer on the BFPs. So jealous!

I've been going quietly mad over the last few days. I was not ttc this month and know I'm not upduffed, but have still been poas every morning since Christmas. And getting disappointed when it's a BFN. Bloody screwy, honestly!

If this is how I am when I used condoms, how completely barking am I going to be when we're a go go?Blush

I'm not looking forward to NYE as that's my most shit time of year. Knock me out and wake me up on 2nd...

Justonemoretime · 28/12/2013 13:27

+ive OPK a week early... I'm normally so regular... Only one thing to do... ;)

DownstairsMixUp · 28/12/2013 17:53

Yay Justonemoretime hurry up and let us know!

butterfly86 · 28/12/2013 17:56

Got my nuchal results today less than 1 in 50,000 so very happy with that phew! :)

Notgivingup1 · 28/12/2013 21:31

Good news butterfly. That must be another huge relief. Congrats on all the Christmas BFPs! Hope you've all had good Christmases. We've had loads of family to stay which has been a good distraction from thinking about stuff. Think I am about the same timings as you squiz. Not feeling that hopeful as my cycles have been so weird and this is our 4th cycle of trying when before it has always happened v quickly. Good to hear that St Mary's said to not worry too much for 4 months. Will contact them if weird periods continue. Good job you were testing just. Maybe your cycle is still adjusting. Have fun! Happy new year to you all - we are all due some happy times in 2014. V glad that I've found you all

Notgivingup1 · 28/12/2013 21:42

Oh and jbrd I agree with the others - I tell DH broadly when at the start of the cycle but then don't tell him about smiley faces etc! Just find it ends up too stressful to share it all with him. I am with you though, it's so hard to keep some fun and spontaneity

DownstairsMixUp · 29/12/2013 11:44

Lovely news butterfly you must be chuffed :-)

Have not stepped over to any boards yet - def staying here. I've done two tests so far, both say positive but i still don't even believe it, probably because, apart from my huge appetite I don't have any symptoms. Last night I spent some time googling false positives. May have to do another one as I really just don't "feel" pregnant which is also making me worry to. Gahhh.

JBrd · 29/12/2013 11:55

Downstairs It's so tough, isn't it, desperately wanting to believe that it is all going to be OK, when knowing all too well what can go wrong... I have no advice on how to best deal with that panic, other than the old mantra 'One day at a time' and to try and get as much distraction as possible. And remember that every pregnancy is different, so don't overthink the 'lack' of symptoms - I reckon it's too early for symptoms for you anyway Wink

Great news, butterfly, what a relief! Another milestone can be ticked off Smile

As for me, I am definitely out for this cycle - AF arrived today Sad. Thanks for sharing your strategies to get DH motivated, I will try some! Might start dropping some hints that another cycle has started and that I'll need his 'help' in about 2 weeks time. And then dig out the sexy underwear Grin.

DownstairsMixUp · 29/12/2013 12:08

Jbrd Sorry that AF got you :( Sexy undies seems like a good idea, oh and La Senza are having their sales, maybe you can treat yourself at the same time to undies and some nice new pj's? If you can bare the sale crowds that is! Yes you are right, just wake up and it's sad but as soon as i go loo i'm checking for any signs it's going wrong. Blush infact, I feel like I am not waiting for any milestones such as scans etc, I feel like I am waiting for it go go wrong! Must change the way i think! x

Justonemoretime · 29/12/2013 13:19

JBrd Booo for AF, but hit the sales in time for next month... Wink

Downstaird try to relax (I know it's tough). One day at a time...

Butterfly Great news. Hope you can start to relax a bit now.

Squiz good luck when you poas!

Well, DTD yesterday and on Boxing day and will try again later (although the 'flu may become an issue for DH). Got a -ive on the OPK today so maybe it's already 'too late' for this cycle. Doesn't hurt to keep trying just in case. Looking forward to being a neurotic mess in two weeks time! Wink

nearlyreadytopop · 29/12/2013 13:52

downstairs I was just going to post to ask about how on earth I will get through the next few weeks without turning into even more of a crazy person.

I also poas this morning which came up 3+ weeks. I must not buy anymore pee sticksGrin .

DownstairsMixUp · 29/12/2013 14:12

nearly its terrible isnt it?! Im planning on waiting till next sunday amd seeing if it changes Blush we are both crazy ladies i think!

squizita · 29/12/2013 18:16

:( So, AF is not due (even by my shortest cycles after MC1) but I'm getting a light brown spot when I wipe today. So very, very stressful. Too early to test, so don't know what the hell it is: chemical loss (which I can't have put down officially because it's too early to test), some random spotting or implantation.
Had to leave a family gathering early, I just couldn't handle it. Not knowing whether this is AF or something worse.

Justonemoretime · 29/12/2013 18:29

Hope its implantation, Squiz! FX and chill vibes to you.

Justonemoretime · 29/12/2013 19:25

Weird question ladies: my hair is suddenly really oily. Any ideas what might cause this? I have washed it...

squizita · 29/12/2013 19:43

Thanks Just my mum said that in her (all bar one successful, including 1 set of twins) pregnancies she had such heavy spotting just before AF was due she didn't always realise she was pregnant.

But that's the kind of thing normal women listen to and I ignore thinking the worst! What am I like. Blush

Oily hair means lots of lady-hormones at play, in my experience. :)

DownstairsMixUp · 29/12/2013 20:05

FX it's implantation squiz!

just i agree with squiz on that one, mid cycle/pregnancy/period means i have to wash my hair every day! All though pregnancy also makes it thick and bouncy and full of volume to!

Notgivingup1 · 29/12/2013 22:22

Fingers x squiz, it could well be implantation bleeding

TinyTear · 30/12/2013 07:58

Second AF since erpc
Hopefully in a couple of weeks I will be in a better place to try again